reveille

the devils dictionary
A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted. In the American army it is ingeniously called "rev-e-lee," and to that pronunciation our countrymen have pledged their lives, their misfortunes and their sacred dishonor.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

prehistoric

the devils dictionary
Belonging to an early period and a museum. Antedating the art and practice of perpetuating falsehood.
He lived in a period prehistoric,

When all was absurd and phantasmagoric.
Born later, when Clio, celestial recorder,
Set down great events in succession and order,
He surely had seen nothing droll or fortuitous
In anything here but the lies that she threw at us.
—Orpheus Bowen
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

weathervane

trustycoffeemug
(n.) that wire chicken you sometimes see perched on top of buildings, pointing in the direction of the wind.

also called a weathercock. under no circumstances should you compress both of these words together to create a vaneycock.

war

the devils dictionary
A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity. The student of history who has not been taught to expect the unexpected may justly boast himself inaccessible to the light. "In time of peace prepare for war" has a deeper meaning than is commonly discerned; it means, not merely that all things earthly have an end — that change is the one immutable and eternal law — but that the soil of peace is thickly sown with the seeds of war and singularly suited to their germination and growth. It was when Kubla Khan had decreed his "stately pleasure dome" — when, that is to say, there were peace and fat feasting in Xanadu — that he

heard from afar
Ancestral voices prophesying war.

One of the greatest of poets, Coleridge was one of the wisest of men, and it was not for nothing that he read us this parable. Let us have a little less of "hands across the sea," and a little more of that elemental distrust that is the security of nations. War loves to come like a thief in the night; professions of eternal amity provide the night.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

taxonomy of snakes

trustycoffeemug
vipers (always venomous):
*rattlesnakes (snakes with built in warning maracas; not mariachi players)
*fer-de-lances (snakes with fancy french names; not medieval knights)
*bushmasters (south american jungle snake; not a porn category)
*puff adders (north african grassland snake; not a good smoking buddy)
*night adders (another african grassland snake; not played by rowan atkinson)
*copperheads (and cottonmouths, which are basically the same things)

elapids (sometimes venomous):
*cobras (hooded snakes; not affiliated with the klan)
*king cobras (hooded snakes; not affiliated with the british royal family)
*coral snakes (colorful snake; not a harmless milksnake, though it strongly resembles one, leading to one of nature's more fun gambling games)
*death adders (snake with a cool name; does not play death metal)
*kraits (very venomous snakes from india; not meant to be smashed by donkey kong)
*taipan (very venomous snakes from around india; not a tie or a pan)

colubras (rarely venomous):
*boomslangs (not similar to boomerangs)
*kingsnakes (not the last scion of numenor seeking to reclaim throne of gondor)
*garter snakes (a harmless bum who just wants to crash in your garden; not an article of women's underwear)

pythons (never venomous, they simply crush the life out of prey instead)
boas (constrictors like pythons; not feathery scarves)

there are more but let's be honest, you don't care

oceania

trustycoffeemug
(n.) planet earth's seventh continent, as long as one decides to list it seventh while counting, and which is not a continent, technically speaking (it's just australia, which *is* a continent, and all the other places in the pacific that don't belong to any others)

in addition to australia, oceania is usually considered to include
* micronesia (including kiribati, resting comfortably right on the international date line)
* melanesia (including papua new guinea and, like... I guess some places they might have used for filming in "survivor." anyone remember that show?)
* and polynesia (including new zealand, hawaii, samoa, and the delightful statue heads at easter island)

ptolemy i

trustycoffeemug
ptolemy i soter (367-282 BC) was a doofy-looking greek man who served as a military commander under alexander the great, for which he was made satrap (governor) of egypt, starting a new greek dynasty over the whole country (as well as other bits of the levant). he also responsible for establishing the musaium, the great library and university at alexandria.

following alexander's somewhat mysterious death while on campaign in babylon, ptolemy was on hand to have the conqueror's body taken to alexandria to be properly buried, which would have been read, by the custom of the time, as a declaration that he was alexander's "real, for true" successor (and it's rumored by some that he might have been alexander's illegitimate brother, though this is unlikely)

the ptolemaic dynasty of egypt was plagued by incest and treachery (yadda yadda) until it finally ended in 30 BC, when julius caesar decided egypt would make a nice backyard extension.

nobility

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a quality historically defining the upper class (noblemen); considered to be roughly synonymous with grace, dignity, erudition and composure, in practice it's more shorthand for "friends in high places and doesn't have to work for a living"

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