Vacation's when you go somewhere... and you never come back
(also: hell)
(also: flying)

(n.) a terrorist who works with the good guys

(also: terrorist)

A filthy paste of servitude, tyranny, fetishism, fear, vanity — and ignorance. The greatest offence one can commit against an ass is to call it a man.

A famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the word clown is believed to come from the low german cloyne, which refers to a boorish person of unrefined manners; it is possible, although less likely, that this may derive even further from the latin term colonus, meaning one who is a colonist (implicitly a rural and provincial type).

such biting contempt for the intelligence of the lower classes is surprisingly common in the english language; the word "boor" probably derives from the same source as the dutch "boer" (farmer), the term "villain" similarly may derive from a term for a rural laborer (i.e., one who worked the fields on a villa), and so on. even in modern england, the term "common," as in "commoner," can be seen as a mild insult casting aspersions on one's taste.

that's really it. sorry, i made this page by accident. mixed up the terms etymology and taxonomy. interesting, tho.

(n.) an informal term of address with multiple possible meanings

1) an easygoing, purposeless southern Californian beach bum

2) (in the Old West) a preening cityslicker dandy who is out of his element in more rugged climes
exactly what these two have to do with each other fair boggles the mind

A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
(also: gentlewomen)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) uh... ham.

A member of the unconsidered, or negligible sex. The male of the human race is commonly known (to the female) as Mere Man. The genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.
(also: the devils dictionary)

An habiliment of the stage designed to reinforce the general acclamation of the press agent with a particular publicity. Public attention was once somewhat diverted from this garment to Miss Lillian Russell's refusal to wear it, and many were the conjectures as to her motive, the guess of Miss Pauline Hall showing a high order of ingenuity and sustained reflection. It was Miss Hall's belief that nature had not endowed Miss Russell with beautiful legs. This theory was impossible of acceptance by the male understanding, but the conception of a faulty female leg was of so prodigious originality as to rank among the most brilliant feats of philosophical speculation! It is strange that in all the controversy regarding Miss Russell's aversion to tights no one seems to have thought to ascribe it to what was known among the ancients as "modesty." The nature of that sentiment is now imperfectly understood, and possibly incapable of exposition with the vocabulary that remains to us. The study of lost arts has, however, been recently revived and some of the arts themselves recovered. This is an epoch of renaissances, and there is ground for hope that the primitive "blush" may be dragged from its hiding-place amongst the tombs of antiquity and hissed on to the stage.
(also: infinite)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

There are only two tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want, the other is getting it.
(also: life)
(also: getting what you want)

n. One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.

(also: the devil's dictionary)

If their food had some flavor, maybe Helen wouldn't have grown up to be such a world-wrecking bitch.

An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness. In this country satire never had more than a sickly and uncertain existence, for the soul of it is wit, wherein we are dolefully deficient, the humor that we mistake for it, like all humor, being tolerant and sympathetic. Moreover, although Americans are "endowed by their Creator" with abundant vice and folly, it is not generally known that these are reprehensible qualities, wherefore the satirist is popularly regarded as a sour-spirited knave, and his every victim's outcry for codefendants evokes a national assent.

---

Hail Satire! be thy praises ever sung
In the dead language of a mummy's tongue,
For thou thyself art dead, and damned as well —
Thy spirit (usefully employed) in Hell.
Had it been such as consecrates the Bible
Thou hadst not perished by the law of libel.
—Barney Stims
(also: humor)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Feeling that you can't force.
You can only stalk and hope for the best.

a chronic condition characterized by sudden and uncontrollable onset of sleep. the main thing to remember about narcolepsy iszzzzzzzzzz...

(n.) one whose newfangled ideas indicate the imminent collapse of all proud and decent society, society evidently being constantly threatened by newfangled ideas

the most pointless crime, because everybody knows mass cannot be truly destroyed (or created)

(n.) a way of saying "creature" with an excess of saccharine folksy American charm

(n.) a country on south america, possibly a place where scientists test what would happen if everything that could go wrong went wrong in the same place at the same time