(n.) european country equally unwanted by the french and the dutch. the most famous belgian person is tintin, a fictional character.

(n.) small furry critter with a beefsteak tied to its butt and a rather bad case of buck teeth. known for its facility of chewing up trees to make damns.

The leading figure in a small group of men of whom — and of whom only — it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.

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If that's an honor surely 'tis a greater
To have been a simple and undamned spectator.
Behold in me a man of mark and note
Whom no elector e'er denied a vote! —
An undiscredited, unhooted gent
Who might, for all we know, be President
By acclamation. Cheer, ye varlets, cheer —
I'm passing with a wide and open ear!
—Jonathan Fomry
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.
(also: democracy)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

time is an illusion
lunchtime doubly so

(1903 – 1967) American biologist who created the oral contraceptive pill.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: gregory pincus quotes)

Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the nearest relative to humanity in the animal kingdom, sharing our boundless savagery but generally looking cuter in tiny clothes or while riding a unicycle

not to be confused with bonobos, assuming one wishes to keep their face glued onto their skull

A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame — a little more supportable than the one and a little more intolerable than the other. Sometimes it is conferred by an unfriendly and inconsiderate hand.

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I touched the harp in every key,
But found no heeding ear;
And then Ithuriel touched me
With a revealing spear.

Not all my genius, great as 'tis,
Could urge me out of night.
I felt the faint appulse of his,
And leapt into the light!
—W.J. Candleton
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a mid tier choir in the angel hierarchy. The middle manager of the middle management among angels. Nestled safely above the 3rd Ranked angels, archangels, and principalities so they aren't as well known those but they don't have to do much of the grunt stuff. But they are beneath the 1st ranks so they only get the word of god second hand. If they get a glimpse of god is it usually because he is meeting with a much cooler hotshot archangel to offer them a position or discuss their performance review in the company. It is common knowledge that if you are looking for a promotion from virtues to 1st Rank, you need to be an archangel.

a cold private place perfectly designed for awkward teenage encounters of a sexual nature

(n.) a gliding lemur-creature hailing from southeast asia, presumably having emigrated there from some sort of other planet inhabited by nightmares

despite the implication of the name, it is not a hybrid of the colubra and the galago

(n.) music for those long-haired snobby elitist artsy-fartsy types; derived from really old stuff

(n.) the bad thing that happens to balance the universe out after a good thing. sometimes vice versa

(n.) a successor to the augurs of ancient rome who would attempt to predict weather trends by reading animal viscera, albeit the augurs were more often accurate

(n.) music for those moody angst-ridden teenager types; derived from a mix of african-american styles like jazz and country or gospel

(n.) like a crab but longer. also a bit like a spider or scorpion but more fond of beaches.

(1818-1883): an unruly german whose writings on political economy and good labor relations formed the basis for our modern understanding of communism.

debates will be ongoing on whether he would have approved of any of his fans from russia

(abbreviated to Piano), n. An instrument thoughtfully provided by American husbands and fathers for their wives and daughters, in observance of Bulwer's dictum that "the best way to keep the dear creatures from playing the devil is to encourage them in playing the fool."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a breed of European that combines the culinary pretensions of the french with the fiery passions of the spanish. they were briefly the center of the civilized western world but today are better known for pizza and pasta