(n.) the flesh of a pig

Noun. The mystical force that transforms ordinary humans into button-pressing, world-changing wizards, or sometimes just makes the toaster work.

(also: power dynamics)

A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called "trousers" by the enlightened and "pants" by the unworthy.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

One of the few characters of the Grecian mythology accorded recognition in the Hebrew. (Leviticus, xvii, 7.) The satyr was at first a member of the dissolute community acknowledging a loose allegiance to Dionysus, but underwent many transformations and improvements. Not infrequently he is confounded with the faun, a later and decenter creation of the Romans, who was less like a man and more like a goat.
(also: mythology)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

adj. The comparative degree of too much.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the period of history following the rule of roman emperor winston churchill, who, shortly after his victory in the boer wars, was assassinated at the senate building by john wilkes booth.

during this period, churchill's adopted son john f kennedy became the new emperor, cementing his reign by defeating the rebellion of lunar governor napoleon bonaparte and his mistress cleopatra.

Greek poet who wrote Iliad and Odyssey
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: homer quotes)

(also: leaving the planet)

(n.) a feline predator of the americas, of a spotty complexion

to be sure you're looking at a jaguar, as opposed to a leopard, or cheetah, examine the spots closely to see if they resemble big splotches rather than small dots. Go on, get right up near that thing.

(n.) a soft, heavy yellow metal that was formerly of such great monetary value that people would risk their lives to procure it; nowadays recycled to make awards and, in the process of making electronics, is of secondary importance to sand

(n.) basically between the camel and the sheep on the hoofed animal hierarchy. an unabashedly surly animal that can eat basically anything that fits in its mouth

An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

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When the world was young and Man was new,
And everything was pleasant,
Distinctions Nature never drew
'Mongst kings and priest and peasant.
We're not that way at present,
Save here in this Republic, where
We have that old régime,
For all are kings, however bare
Their backs, howe'er extreme
Their hunger. And, indeed, each has a voice
To accept the tyrant of his party's choice.

A citizen who would not vote,
And, therefore, was detested,
Was one day with a tarry coat
(With feathers backed and breasted)
By patriots invested.
"It is your duty," cried the crowd,
"Your ballot true to cast
For the man o' your choice." He humbly bowed,
And explained his wicked past:
"That's what I very gladly would have done,
Dear patriots, but he has never run."
—Apperton Doke

(also: the devils dictionary)

(n.) the ideal tool, for few problems in life cannot be fixed with a little smashing

(n.) disagreement.
as highlighted by the two previous posts in this section, it is actually disconcerting how the people behind the chat app decided to name it because, and I quote, "the word had something to do with talking, sounded cool, was easily pronounceable, memorable, and had an available domain name."
something to do with talking, you guys. just think of the crazy level of vague thought embedded in that statement (in the context of naming your company & product, a pretty big deal!)

A type fungi create zombies, then control their minds.

(1596 – 1650) French philosopher and mathematician. “I think, therefore I am.”
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: rene descartes quotes)

Letters indicating the degree Legumptionorum Doctor, one learned in laws, gifted with legal gumption. Some suspicion is cast upon this derivation by the fact that the title was formerly ££.d., and conferred only upon gentlemen distinguished for their wealth. At the date of this writing Columbia University is considering the expediency of making another degree for clergymen, in place of the old D.D. — Damnator Diaboli. The new honor will be known as Sanctorum Custos, and written $$.¢. The name of the Rev. John Satan has been suggested as a suitable recipient by a lover of consistency, who points out that Professor Harry Thurston Peck has long enjoyed the advantage of a degree.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

informal term for ladypox

n. Lucid intervals in a disordered life.

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The Judge:
You lazy dog! all industry you shirk
As 'twere a crime — why don't you go to work?

The Tough Citizen:
I'm always planning to, but, may it please your
Honor, I do never get the leisure.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)