The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with the grin that apes a smile. Being a blind faith, it is inaccessible to the light of disproof — an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.

(n.) an Australian creature similar to a dog; it rejects the human partnership of its domestic cousin in favor of a life of eating babies

A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(adj.) careful, quiet, and circumspect- indeed, one might say inconspicuous

to be confused with discrete

(n.) that cognitive state when your METAness surpasses all previously-endured limits, and you start talking to trolls in trollsp34k.

https://www.homestuck.com/story



(also: black hole)
(also: timesuck)
(also: just internet things)
(also: some would say cancer)
(also: webcomic)

(n.) a room above your house, for storing old things and providing a sporting hiding place for menacing intruders

“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.”
― Mark Twain

A small European animal that is kind enough to lend its name to the American tongue as a euphemism for that of the native skunk, than which it is esteemed more genteel. Like the skunk, however, it makes music for the deaf when kicked.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility. His principal qualification is a degree of plausible inveracity next below that of an ambassador.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a sport involving the use of mallets to guide wooden balls through metal hoops. presumably, it must follow that croquet + baseball = cricket.

(also: humans)

(n.) the internet's child of grammar and humour, of play on words, of interweaving references

The most tempting touchable in all known existence. It's also a source of great peril, fraught with blood and pain. Only touch the floof at your own risk.

“Jenny tried to rub Mrs. Flufferbutt's cat belly, and was rewarded with many scratches.”

(also: pork belly)

archimedes of syracuse (287-212 BC) was perhaps the greatest mathematical mind of his day. a student of the mouseion of alexandria, archimedes returned to his home city of syracuse to become an inventor of great renown.

he is reputed to be the originator of the theory of fluid displacement (and, related, an early critic of your primitive notions of modesty), a quick and consistent calculation method for the volume of a sphere, the archimedes screw (not a sex act, a means of pumping water), and possibly even a death ray he used on roman invaders.

in 212 BC archimedes was supposedly killed by a roman legionary who had been instructed to find the great mathematician and bring him before his commander, marcellus. while this legionary looked for his quarry, he stumbled upon a scruffy old man drawing circles in the sand; the old man snapped at the legionary not to scuff his circles, and was killed for his impertinence. naturally the old man turned out to have been archimedes. heh. cosmic irony.

Odd little electronic devices worn around the wrist (or other convenient appendage). The apparent function of these instruments, is to determine the time of day, though their actual suitability for this purpose is somewhat questionable.

The problem is that the process of programming one is so insanely complicated and involves so much stress, anxiety and general irritation, by the time you have actually figured out how to set it to, say, 5:42 p.m. you are much more likely to cut off your hands at the wrists and dispose of them, watch and all, than do something so thick-witted as to actually wear it. For this reason most enlightened regions of the Galaxy have given up on the whole business, and they are now extremely hard to come by.

One of the few remaining civilizations still hanging on to this affectation is the planet Earth, whose ape-descended lifeforms still consider the digital a pretty neat idea.

(also: time)

n. Creation's afterthought; an animal that Adam did not name.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

adj. Addicted to rhetoric.
(also: rhetoric)
(also: the devil's dictionary)

the angry next door neighbor of spain. considers olive oil to be a dietary staple

Place to sweat and beat oneself with a birch whip. You're probably doing it wrong. If you want to do it right, move to Finland.

(noun, fem) refers to the Devil himself; Satan; comes straight from hell to cause misery and pain; will enter your life and make it 100 times worse, then will take your kids and don't even let you visit them; Why don't you let me see the kids Rachel, I think the agreement on the divorce papers was that I get to see the kids at least twice in a week, but no, you have to complicate everything, like you did in our marriage, and. that's why we broke up in the first place! Please at least let me see them, I miss them so much