hell

A sovereign's right to do wrong.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

an introductory activity where you do something or other with the first letter of your name, which sucks, since J is common in names but not words

(n.) the closest thing to god that humanity has yet created, and very likely to destroy us some time in the future. the internet is like a vast beehive of information of which computers are mere waxy cells.

according to legend, the heart of the internet is a gigantic central server built into a volcano, guarded by armies of orcs in little button-down shirts and maybe al gore or something

a two-week-long suicide threat

n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son of a cavern in Mount Ætna, and I have myself seen a man come out of a wine cellar.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Away some people use to say that their life have no meaning because they just destroid the only reason for their life.

No, i'm spartacus

A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Freedom without limits is just a word.
(also: error)

the period of history following the rule of roman emperor winston churchill, who, shortly after his victory in the boer wars, was assassinated at the senate building by john wilkes booth.

during this period, churchill's adopted son john f kennedy became the new emperor, cementing his reign by defeating the rebellion of lunar governor napoleon bonaparte and his mistress cleopatra.

someone who is nervous and irritatable

A very cute small furry thing with a big bushy tail that is fun to -- no, wait, I think that's illegal. But they're still cute and furry.

(adj.)

1) nervous, jumpy; more jittery than a green snake in a sugarcane plantation

2) avant-garde and trendmaking; for some reason, this usually equates to taking a corny cartoon made for immature children and retooling it into a grim cartoon for immature teenagers

(n.) a large feline predator of africa (formerly of other places), whose men wear wigs while the women go crew-cut

A telephone that is easy to bring with you and runs on batterys (maby chargeable). It can often send text messages and maby has a camera.

(also: telephone)
(also: text messages)

(n.) a reptilian animal that was at the back of the queue when evolution was handing out limbs

Skilled in the art and practice of dissimulation.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

where to begin? egyptian history spans over 5000 years. egypt was ancient long before the single day on which rome was built.

to be as brief as is feasible, the upper and lower portions of egypt first became unified sometime between 3200 and 3000 BC, possibly by somebody named Narmer or Menes, who thus became the founder of the first dynasty of pharaohs. narmer's dynasty dicks around for a bit, leave behind a few prototype tombs in the village of saqqara, and is replaced by a second dynasty. that dynasty does more dicking around and is replaced again. this more or less sets the tone for the rest of egyptian history.

old kingdom egypt (3rd-6th dynasties); the big pointy pyramids you're thinking of come from the fourth dynasty
* an intermediate period (7th-11th dynasties)
middle kingdom egypt (11th-13th dynasties); the book of the dead, that famous egyptian book you've heard of, only shows up in rough draft form around this period
* another intermediate period (13th-17th dynasties)
new kingdom egypt (18th-20th dynasties); tutankhamun, the one pharaoh everyone has heard of, was the second-to-last pharaoh of the 18th dynasty
* sure, why not another intermediate period (21st-25th dynasties), followed by some twilight years (the late period extending to the 31st dynasty), during which egypt got conquered by persians


By this point it's already the 330s BC, and greece (led by alexander the great) took over egypt and left it in control of some doofus named ptolemy. not too long after that, it was conquered again by the romans, by which time we've only just arrived at caesar boinking cleopatra.

(n.) a comic presented to its audience through the power of the web. the web provides a platform on which comics need not be subject to the gimlet eye and cruel iron fist of the newspaper syndicate, thus freeing webcomic creators to fully realize their true creative vision (usually furry porn)