One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A thing that mostly satisfies reformers opposed to reformation.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The modern-day equivalent of a digital witch hunt fueled by outrage and virtue signaling.

That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets.

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I climbed to the top of a mountain one day
To see the sun setting in glory,
And I thought, as I looked at his vanishing ray,
Of a perfectly splendid story.

'Twas about an old man and the ass he bestrode
Till the strength of the beast was o'ertested;
Then the man would carry him miles on the road
Till Neddy was pretty well rested.

The moon rising solemnly over the crest
Of the hills to the east of my station
Displayed her broad disk to the darkening west
Like a visible new creation.

And I thought of a joke (and I laughed till I cried)
Of an idle young woman who tarried
About a church-door for a look at the bride,
Although 'twas herself that was married.

To poets all Nature is pregnant with grand
Ideas — with thought and emotion.
I pity the dunces who don't understand
The speech of earth, heaven and ocean.
—Stromboli Smith

being a bystander, i.e. being an aggressor

n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the Merriam-Webster dictionary, https://www.merriam-webster.com/

a holiday which appears to originate from Gaelic traditions surrounding the autumn harvest festival

in modern america, a typical halloween consists of children wearing expensive costumes to disguise their identities, and wandering from house to house begging for candy, a custom which was difficult to explain to the soviet union

for adults, the custom consists largely of watching horror-themed movies with various levels of eroticism, and dressing up in costumes with various levels of eroticism.

(n.) without hair; the condition of baldness in human men is often taken as a sign of dignified maturity, or at least that's what bald men are repeatedly assured

The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The Answer to the Great Question Of Life, The Universe, And Everything. The problem is that nobody really knows what the question is

(also: Deep Thought)

The 947th method (according to Mimbleshaw's classification) of obtaining money by false pretences. It consists in "reading character" in the wrinkles made by closing the hand. The pretence is not altogether false; character can really be read very accurately in this way, for the wrinkles in every hand submitted plainly spell the word "dupe." The imposture consists in not reading it aloud.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) something one gives up in order to appease a temperamental deity or wife

(v.) to make something into a sacrifice by sacrificing it. ya dig?

(n.) a small tree able to be held between two fingers, used to scrape leftovers from between your teeth or debris from other hard-to-reach spaces.

... usually it is considered a bad idea to do both with the same toothpick.

ultimate cure for internet boredom and depression epidemic

Pronunciation: Sha-doh Thuh Hej-Hog

(n) The only good Sonic game.

No better.

A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
(also: gentlewomen)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The finished product of which we are the raw material. The contents of the Taj Mahal, the Tombeau Napoleon and the Grantarium. Worms'-meat is usually outlasted by the structure that houses it, but "this too must pass away." Probably the silliest work in which a human being can engage is construction of a tomb for himself. The solemn purpose cannot dignify, but only accentuates by contrast the foreknown futility.

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Ambitious fool! so mad to be a show!
How profitless the labor you bestow
Upon a dwelling whose magnificence
The tenant neither can admire nor know.

Build deep, build high, build massive as you can,
The wanton grass-roots will defeat the plan
By shouldering asunder all the stones
In what to you would be a moment's span.

Time to the dead so all unreckoned flies
That when your marble is all dust, arise,
If wakened, stretch your limbs and yawn —
You'll think you scarcely can have closed your eyes.

What though of all man's works your tomb alone
Should stand till Time himself be overthrown?
Would it advantage you to dwell therein
Forever as a stain upon a stone?
—Joel Huck
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

People petting you for no real reason.