(n.) a large group of people, probably foreigners, to whom the logical reaction is senseless panic
(also: panic)

(n.) a merry-go-round; a carnival attraction consisting of a large round gazebo, rotating slowly as it emits menacing calliope music, and filled with petrified and impaled animals on which merrymakers are invited to ride.

(n.) a fruit hailing from southeast asia and oceania, known for its beguilingly-elongated, whimsically-curved shape, and the ease with which its rind can be removed. actually neither of those qualities exists within natural, grown-in-the-wild bananas; both were engineered into the fruit by godless human meddling.

common cartoon knowledge holds the banana to be a favorite repast of the monkey.

A filial coup de grâce whereby one is released from the lingering torments of paternity.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a lucrative industry built on exploiting people's insecurities and desire for companionship. A fool's game where experts are often single and unhappy.

(phrase) The optimistic assessment delivered by educators, serving as a beacon of hope amidst the vast landscape of academic possibilities.

(also: student's parents)

(also: 2019)

(adj.) surpassing the surly bonds of our own mundane experiences in its singular excellence; nonexistent.

An outlook, usually forbidding. An expectation, usually forbidden.

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Blow, blow, ye spicy breezes —
O'er Ceylon blow your breath,
Where every prospect pleases,
Save only that of death.
—Bishop Sheber
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the state of zoning out often experienced when controlling a 2-ton piece of metal going at inhuman speeds

An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

---

When the world was young and Man was new,
And everything was pleasant,
Distinctions Nature never drew
'Mongst kings and priest and peasant.
We're not that way at present,
Save here in this Republic, where
We have that old régime,
For all are kings, however bare
Their backs, howe'er extreme
Their hunger. And, indeed, each has a voice
To accept the tyrant of his party's choice.

A citizen who would not vote,
And, therefore, was detested,
Was one day with a tarry coat
(With feathers backed and breasted)
By patriots invested.
"It is your duty," cried the crowd,
"Your ballot true to cast
For the man o' your choice." He humbly bowed,
And explained his wicked past:
"That's what I very gladly would have done,
Dear patriots, but he has never run."
—Apperton Doke

(also: the devils dictionary)

(adj.) of language; meant to persuade, imply and suggest, for all those times when plainspokenness would be too pussy

n. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A one hit wonder written and performed by Terry, the dog in the Wizard of Oz.

italian interjection, conveying surprise. similar to "my goodness!"

ex:
"we ran out of pizza rolls!"
"mamma mia!"

(noun):
A lovably mischievous creature that serves as the loyal sidekick to an evil mastermind, often seen wearing adorable overalls and speaking in their own unique language that sounds like a mix of gibberish and silliness.


(also: serving as a loyal sidekick)
(also: wearing adorable overalls)
(also: speaking in unique language)
(also: sounding like gibberish and silliness)
(also: being mischievous and lovable)
(also: accompanying an evil mastermind)

happiness, seen as a tool to increase efficiency

A mostly empty frozen waste Land with a few dozen people scattered around the southern edges.

(also: australia)

A magical elixir that transforms non-morning people into semi-functioning human beings.

a one-off decision by lawmakers to let democracy determine the course of governance.