A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.

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"Behold great Daubert's picture here on view —
Taken from Life." If that description's true,
Grant, heavenly Powers, that I be taken, too.
—Jali Hane
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

blækˌlaɪt/ (n.):
A type of ultraviolet lamp that makes certain substances fluoresce. Often used to uncover the evidence of a dog's indiscretions around the house, or to highlight the bodily fluids and questionable stains from a wild night of partying.

(also: party)

me

an autumnal holiday celebrated in the americas (both the united states and canada, though on different days) to commemorate any of the following:

1) the historical colonization of the americas (possibly including the displacement of the indigenous people)
2) overeating
3) enduring the presence of family

Feeling that you can't force.
You can only stalk and hope for the best.

The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.
(also: radical)
(also: governing people)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) not quite a friend and not quite an enemy; someone with whom one is in regular and direct competition, but not enough to want them dead.

An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. One who peddles ready-made emotion, and who, despising us for the qualities upon which he feeds, is by us despised for the unwholesome character of his diet. See STICK.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion.
(also: reason)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked arboreal ancestors whom it keenly concerned. The setting up of official weather bureaus and their maintenance in mendacity prove that even governments are accessible to suasion by the rude forefathers of the jungle.

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Once I dipt into the future far as human eye could see,
And I saw the Chief Forecaster, dead as any one can be —
Dead and damned and shut in Hades as a liar from his birth,
With a record of unreason seldom paralleled on earth.
While I looked he reared him solemnly, that incandescent youth,
From the coals that he'd preferred to the advantages of truth.
He cast his eyes about him and above him; then he wrote
On a slab of thin asbestos what I venture here to quote —
For I read it in the rose-light of the everlasting glow:
"Cloudy; variable winds, with local showers; cooler; snow."
—Halcyon Jones

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) individual who commits unholy acts of tomfoolery

(n.) the reason for carrying on with a custom long after you've forgotten the actual good reason

(1471 – 1541) Spanish Conquistador who claimed Inca lands for Spain.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: francisco pizarro quotes)

to torture someone who may or may not be guilty until they tell you they're guilty

(v.) involving groups of up to thousands at a time, spreading like wildfire across Europe. the dancing could continue on for hours, days, and apparently even months. people would collapse from exhaustion and injuries (often fatal). adults and children alike.
this mass phenomena abruptly stopped after the 17th century.

One of the most well-known major outbreaks took place in Aachen, Germany in 1374, just several decades after the Black Death swept across Europe. Another particularly notable outbreak occurred in Strasbourg, Alsace in 1518.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dancing_mania
https://www.ancient-origins.net/unexplained-phenomena/mysterious-case-medieval-dance-mania-001838

(also: ecstatic dance)
(also: whirling dervishes)

(n.) the non-union, discounted equivalent of a penguin

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

my book
(author: douglas adams)