sycophant

the devils dictionary
One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.

As the lean leech, its victim found, is pleased
To fix itself upon a part diseased
Till, its black hide distended with bad blood,
It drops to die of surfeit in the mud,
So the base sycophant with joy descries
His neighbor's weak spot and his mouth applies,
Gorges and prospers like the leech, although,
Unlike that reptile, he will not let go.
Gelasma, if it paid you to devote
Your talent to the service of a goat,
Showing by forceful logic that its beard
Is more than Aaron's fit to be revered;
If to the task of honoring its smell
Profit had prompted you, and love as well,
The world would benefit at last by you
And wealthy malefactors weep anew —
Your favor for a moment's space denied
And to the nobler object turned aside.
Is't not enough that thrifty millionaires
Who loot in freight and spoliate in fares,
Or, cursed with consciences that bid them fly
To safer villainies of darker dye,
Forswearing robbery and fain, instead,
To steal (they call it "cornering") our bread
May see you groveling their boots to lick
And begging for the favor of a kick?
Still must you follow to the bitter end
Your sycophantic disposition's trend,
And in your eagerness to please the rich
Hunt hungry sinners to their final ditch?
In Morgan's praise you smite the sounding wire,
And sing hosannas to great Havemeyer!
What's Satan done that him you should eschew?
He too is reeking rich — deducting you.

the first day in teaching

mama gump
(noun phrase) A whirlwind of nerves, anticipation, and boundless enthusiasm as a teacher steps into the classroom for the very first time. It's a symphony of introductions, establishing authority, and setting the stage for a year of growth. Excitement mingles with jitters as the teacher navigates a delicate balance of creating a welcoming environment, building connections with students, and conveying a passion for learning. It's a pivotal moment, a blank canvas waiting to be filled with knowledge, inspiration, and the joy of discovery.

(also: i left my textbook at home)

superhero teacher

sese
(noun phrase) The caped crusader of education, equipped with an arsenal of dry-erase markers and a utility belt stocked with endless supplies of patience. They possess the extraordinary ability to keep a straight face while defusing classroom chaos and turning learning into a thrilling adventure. With their superhuman multitasking skills, they grade papers at the speed of light and deliver knowledge with the power of a thousand encyclopedias.


(also: my dog ate my homework)

chimpanzee

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the nearest relative to humanity in the animal kingdom, sharing our boundless savagery but generally looking cuter in tiny clothes or while riding a unicycle

not to be confused with bonobos, assuming one wishes to keep their face glued onto their skull

the guiding light

mama gump
(noun phrase) A metaphorical beacon that embodies the selfless dedication of teachers, illuminating the path of knowledge for generations. Yet, tragically, this luminary role often remains underappreciated and underpaid.

(also: teaching)

sign-up or face the consequences!


“"observers" must obey the call.”
join

sign up