Self imposed torture to gain more knowledge in an area just to fail miserably the very next day on the test

The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban descendant with a cigarette.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. An American sovereign in his probationary state.



(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A mechanical marvel, that is powered by a mighty mainspring, which sends power through, typically, 4 gears and their pinions to a finely tuned balance. All that only to tell you the time of day.
Many watches also possess extra functions (or complications) such as:
-stopwatches (chronographs)
-showing the current date
-the ever beloved automatic winding of the mainspring

Though not as needed in the current times, they still are beautiful constructs, used to show status, or just to look nice.

(also: digital watches)
(also: time)

All men are assured the first death, which is otherwise known as sleep, and then judgement. The second death is when The Lord no longer thinks of you and casts you into the fiery hell.

A really nice guy from the bible.

(n.) a bunch of weird rituals and confected historical narratives intended to make fraternities for the middle-aged seem more respectable and mysterious. the rites and practices of freemasonry are very secretive and not shared with outsiders on pain of severe punishment; these practices can however be read about in countless publicly-available books on the subject

a movie

"This film is dedicated to the gallant people of Afghanistan."
-the end-

(also: rambo)

Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Someone who spends his life drunk half of the time, while either sleeping or getting drunk the other half.

(also: Me)
(also: Drunk)

a variety of large feline, with subvarieties dwelling in eurasia, iberia and north america, identifiable by the long wispy ears and pointy beard, giving its countenance sort of a "wise old man" mien

not to be confused with the links that lead to other pages on this site, or the ones on a golf course

(1749 – 1823) Developed the world's first vaccine (the smallpox vaccine). Known as the father of immunology.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: edward jenner quotes)

(n.) a particle even smaller than an atom, which apparently read "atoms cannot be subdivided into smaller particles" somewhere and decided "hell with you, I do what I want"

come in six refreshing flavors: up, down, top, bottom, strange, and charm.

(n.) supposedly that which separates human beings from lowly animals, since animals are influenced largely by desire for things like food, water, and shelter, whereas humans are influenced by much more sophisticated things political demagoguery and subliminal advertising

fleshy beings made of meat that somehow conquered and tame a planet full of creatures that eat things made of meat. Also their meat is called Long Pork.

Size. Magnitude being purely relative, nothing is large and nothing small. If everything in the universe were increased in bulk one thousand diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remained unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been. To an understanding familiar with the relativity of magnitude and distance the spaces and masses of the astronomer would be no more impressive than those of the microscopist. For anything we know to the contrary, the visible universe may be a small part of an atom, with its component ions, floating in the life-fluid (luminiferous ether) of some animal. Possibly the wee creatures peopling the corpuscles of our own blood are overcome with the proper emotion when contemplating the unthinkable distance from one of these to another.

(n.) that which follows the dissolution or destruction of government authority; like most philosophical things, we are assured it would be really cool if we did it correctly next time

(n.) one of nature's freakier little bastards, widely reviled for its scuttling posture, venom dripping chelicerae, and beady little clusters of eyes, not to mention its devious use of snares to capture unsuspecting prey. comes in distressingly large sizes and one is watching you almost constantly

(n.) one of the less intense and therefore more insidious addicting drugs; in many cultures, morning consumption of coffee is part of a daily ritual in which they affirm their resentment of their daily obligations

Distinguishing insignia, jewels and costume of such ancient and honorable orders as Knights of Adam; Visionaries of Detectable Bosh; the Ancient Order of Modern Troglodytes; the League of Holy Humbug; the Golden Phalanx of Phalangers; the Genteel Society of Expurgated Hoodlums; the Mystic Alliances of Gorgeous Regalians; Knights and Ladies of the Yellow Dog; the Oriental Order of Sons of the West; the Blatherhood of Insufferable Stuff; Warriors of the Long Bow; Guardians of the Great Horn Spoon; the Band of Brutes; the Impenitent Order of Wife-Beaters; the Sublime Legion of Flamboyant Conspicuants; Worshipers at the Electroplated Shrine; Shining Inaccessibles; Fee-Faw-Fummers of the Inimitable Grip; Jannissaries of the Broad-Blown Peacock; Plumed Increscencies of the Magic Temple; the Grand Cabal of Able-Bodied Sedentarians; Associated Deities of the Butter Trade; the Garden of Galoots; the Affectionate Fraternity of Men Similarly Warted; the Flashing Astonishers; Ladies of Horror; Coöperative Association for Breaking into the Spotlight; Dukes of Eden; Disciples Militant of the Hidden Faith; Knights-Champions of the Domestic Dog; the Holy Gregarians; the Resolute Optimists; the Ancient Sodality of Inhospitable Hogs; Associated Sovereigns of Mendacity; Dukes-Guardian of the Mystic Cess-Pool; the Society for Prevention of Prevalence; Kings of Drink; Polite Federation of Gents-Consequential; the Mysterious Order of the Undecipherable Scroll; Uniformed Rank of Lousy Cats; Monarchs of Worth and Hunger; Sons of the South Star; Prelates of the Tub-and-Sword.
(also: war)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)