the place people are talking about when they say america, other american places apparently not counting

a computer program that pretends to be a different genre of pornography

(n.) a near-identical cousin of the chimpanzee, that. Um. greatly enjoys the company of others of its kind.

... giggity.

(AD 50 – 121) Inventor of paper.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: ts'ai lun quotes)

In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Considered next to prostitution to be one of the world's oldest professions.

A really nice guy from the bible.

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
― Thomas A. Edison
(also: Thomas Edison)

Self imposed torture to gain more knowledge in an area just to fail miserably the very next day on the test

A term used to explain the concept of infinite regression.

(also: infinite regression)

The denial of love, life and liberty.

There are a number of theories as to the ultimate cause which brought the universe into existence.

personally, i prefer to believe we were laid by an unimaginably vast chicken as a cosmic egg, and in honor of that, the egg is to be worshiped. will our souls ascend to a grand new state of being in the divine hatching, or will we be burned in the eternally frying pan of damnation?

a sound that is played by many instruments that people love to hear

to staunchly not enjoy (a thing you once loved).

Thirty million generations of philosophers have debated the definition of intelligence. The most popular definition appears in the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation android manuals:
"Intelligence is the ability to reconcile totally contradictory situations without going completely bonkers. For example, having a stomach ache and not having a stomach ache at the same time, holding a hole without the doughnut, having good luck and bad luck simultaneously, or seeing a real estate agent waive his fee."
(also: philosophy)
(also: mice)

n. An act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a statement that is not sufficiently dissenting

K is a consonant that we get from the Greeks, but it can be traced away back beyond them to the Cerathians, a small commercial nation inhabiting the peninsula of Smero. In their tongue it was called Klatch, which means "destroyed." The form of the letter was originally precisely that of our H, but the erudite Dr. Snedeker explains that it was altered to its present shape to commemorate the destruction of the great temple of Jarute by an earthquake, circa 730 B.C. This building was famous for the two lofty columns of its portico, one of which was broken in half by the catastrophe, the other remaining intact. As the earlier form of the letter is supposed to have been suggested by these pillars, so, it is thought by the great antiquary, its later was adopted as a simple and natural—not to say touching—means of keeping the calamity ever in the national memory. It is not known if the name of the letter was altered as an additional mnemonic, or if the name was always Klatch and the destruction one of nature's puns. As each theory seems probable enough, I see no objection to believing both—and Dr. Snedeker arrayed himself on that side of the question.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A billionaire entrepreneur and inventor, who often seems to be more interested in making grandiose statements and seeking attention than in the practical realities of his many ambitious ventures. Known for his work on Tesla electric cars, SpaceX, and SolarCity, as well as for his erratic behavior and questionable business practices, Musk's ultimate goal remains something of a mystery, though it seems to involve a healthy dose of self-aggrandizement and a disregard for the concerns of others."