(also: gambling)

(n.)a food which remind me waffen ss

A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death. Augustine Nicholas relates that a poor peasant who had been accused of sorcery was put to the torture to compel a confession. After enduring a few gentle agonies the suffering simpleton admitted his guilt, but naïvely asked his tormentors if it were not possible to be a sorcerer without knowing it.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.

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Cold pie was highly esteemed by the remains.
—The Rev. Dr. Mucker, in a funeral sermon over a British nobleman

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Cold pie is a detestable
American comestible.
That's why I'm done — or undone —
So far from that dear London.
—From the Headstone of a British Nobleman, in Kalamazoo
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A performance given without a preparation.

“Without music, life would be a mistake.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
(also: Nietzsche)

The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.
(also: radical)
(also: governing people)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(c.5BC – 30 AD) Spiritual teacher and central figure of Christianity.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: jesus of nazareth quotes)

conveying anything outwards, be it feelings, visual images, or noise and / or movement. expression is simply the act of putting yourself out there. it gives some people anxiety, but the only thing better than happiness, is the peace you will feel when you have expressed yourself clearly.

(also: art)
(also: poet)

(n.) the skin of a pig

this entry would have been funnier if you had read ham and pork first. i guess that's your problem.

The most acceptable hypocrisy.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills.

a supposed king of england who supposedly ruled around the time the roman empire had withdrawn from the country in the late fifth century. supposedly.

known for being conceived by 'magical' rape-by-fraud, hanging out with wizards, pulling a sword out of a big rock, conquering a number of european places, being cuckolded by a frenchman, trying to drown hundreds of children, and finally getting killed by the one child he didn't manage to drown

although he probably did not actually exist, he is much better known than a majority of real english historical figures

(new yorker slang) place that is not new york; place safe to dump toxic waste

Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place.
In Boorioboola-Gha a man is presentable on occasions of ceremony if he have his abdomen painted a bright blue and wear a cow's tail; in New York he may, if it please him, omit the paint, but after sunset he must wear two tails made of the wool of a sheep and dyed black.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

collectively, all the processes required to get from ingredients to the desired finished food or dish. I include combining and arranging, like for a salad or a sandwich with ham and cheese, which require no actual heating or other transformation of the ingredients, but some may not (that is, they may only consider it cooking if you actually CHANGE the ingredient in some way like heat it or perhaps cure it).

(also: list of hobbies)

n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. Three great scientific theories of the structure of the universe are the molecular, the corpuscular and the atomic. A fourth affirms, with Haeckel, the condensation or precipitation of matter from ether — whose existence is proved by the condensation or precipitation. The present trend of scientific thought is toward the theory of ions. The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion. A fifth theory is held by idiots, but it is doubtful if they know any more about the matter than the others.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) before disco, there was polka!

(also: disco)

a very famous song of the band 'morcheeba'