A land rich in history and crabs. It is named after the originally governor's wife, Mary of the Land.
(also: Baltimore)
(n.) an viewing device whose leisure delights are used to treat psychological problems such as independent thought, lack of apathy, and concern with the outside world
(n.) a particle even smaller than an atom, which apparently read "atoms cannot be subdivided into smaller particles" somewhere and decided "hell with you, I do what I want"
come in six refreshing flavors: up, down, top, bottom, strange, and charm.
come in six refreshing flavors: up, down, top, bottom, strange, and charm.
that which occurs when the other shoe finally drops, and that shoe sets off an elaborate rube goldberg device that culminates with your balls being snapped in a mousetrap hold-down bar. so to speak.
(also: consequence)
(also: consequence)
The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.
(also: humans)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: humans)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted. In the American army it is ingeniously called "rev-e-lee," and to that pronunciation our countrymen have pledged their lives, their misfortunes and their sacred dishonor.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
happiness, seen as a tool to increase efficiency
A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.
Old Paunchinello, freshly wed,
Took Madam P. to table,
And there deliriously fed
As fast as he was able.
"I dote upon good grub," he cried,
Intent upon its throatage.
"Ah, yes," said the neglected bride,
"You're in your table d'hôtage."
—Associated Poets
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
Old Paunchinello, freshly wed,
Took Madam P. to table,
And there deliriously fed
As fast as he was able.
"I dote upon good grub," he cried,
Intent upon its throatage.
"Ah, yes," said the neglected bride,
"You're in your table d'hôtage."
—Associated Poets
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(n.) a substance used for medical purposes. yeah. medical. we'll go with that.
(1822 – 1895) French biologist. Developed a cure for rabies and other infectious diseases.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: louis pasteur quotes)
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: louis pasteur quotes)
a shepherd's staff held by a bishop in order to present himself as "one of the laymen"
n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.
'Twas a pair of boots that the lady bought,
And the salesman laced them tight
To a very remarkable height —
Higher, indeed, than I think he ought —
Higher than can be right.
For the Bible declares — but never mind:
It is hardly fit
To censure freely and fault to find
With others for sins that I'm not inclined
Myself to commit.
Each has his weakness, and though my own
Is freedom from every sin,
It still were unfair to pitch in,
Discharging the first censorious stone.
Besides, the truth compels me to say,
The boots in question were made that way.
As he drew the lace she made a grimace,
And blushingly said to him:
"This boot, I'm sure, is too high to endure,
It hurts my — hurts my — limb."
The salesman smiled in a manner mild,
Like an artless, undesigning child;
Then, checking himself, to his face he gave
A look as sorrowful as the grave,
Though he didn't care two figs
For her pains and throes,
As he stroked her toes,
Remarking with speech and manner just
Befitting his calling: "Madam, I trust
That it doesn't hurt your twigs."
—B. Percival Dike
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
'Twas a pair of boots that the lady bought,
And the salesman laced them tight
To a very remarkable height —
Higher, indeed, than I think he ought —
Higher than can be right.
For the Bible declares — but never mind:
It is hardly fit
To censure freely and fault to find
With others for sins that I'm not inclined
Myself to commit.
Each has his weakness, and though my own
Is freedom from every sin,
It still were unfair to pitch in,
Discharging the first censorious stone.
Besides, the truth compels me to say,
The boots in question were made that way.
As he drew the lace she made a grimace,
And blushingly said to him:
"This boot, I'm sure, is too high to endure,
It hurts my — hurts my — limb."
The salesman smiled in a manner mild,
Like an artless, undesigning child;
Then, checking himself, to his face he gave
A look as sorrowful as the grave,
Though he didn't care two figs
For her pains and throes,
As he stroked her toes,
Remarking with speech and manner just
Befitting his calling: "Madam, I trust
That it doesn't hurt your twigs."
—B. Percival Dike
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an old man. Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an old book.
"Old books? The devil take them!" Goby said.
"Fresh every day must be my books and bread."
Nature herself approves the Goby rule
And gives us every moment a fresh fool.
—Harley Shum
"Old books? The devil take them!" Goby said.
"Fresh every day must be my books and bread."
Nature herself approves the Goby rule
And gives us every moment a fresh fool.
—Harley Shum
a two-week-long suicide threat
(also: market)
n. a product made for picking ears
sign-up or face the consequences!
“"observers" must obey the call.”
join