a prank where you forcibly submerge someone's head into a shallow ceramic pool of rushing water for several seconds

n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.
(also: drugs)
(also: the devils dictionary)

a government composed of poopyheads

A tall vegetable intended by nature to serve as a penal apparatus, though through a miscarriage of justice most trees bear only a negligible fruit, or none at all. When naturally fruited, the tree is a beneficent agency of civilization and an important factor in public morals. In the stern West and the sensitive South its fruit (white and black respectively), though not eaten, is agreeable to the public taste and, though not exported, profitable to the general welfare. That the legitimate relation of the tree to justice was no discovery of Judge Lynch (who, indeed, conceded it no primacy over the lamp-post and the bridge-girder) is made plain by the following passage from Morryster, who antedated him by two centuries:

---

While in yt londe I was carried to see ye Ghogo tree, whereof I had hearde moch talk; but sayynge yt I saw naught remarkabyll in it, ye hed manne of ye villayge where it grewe made answer as followeth:
"Ye tree is not nowe in fruite, but in his seasonne you shall see dependynge fr. his braunches all soch as have affroynted ye King his Majesty."

And I was furder tolde yt ye worde "Ghogo" sygnifyeth in yr tong ye same as "rapscal" in our owne.
—Trauvells in ye Easte
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.
(also: chocolate)

A member of the unconsidered, or negligible sex. The male of the human race is commonly known (to the female) as Mere Man. The genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.
(also: the devils dictionary)

Sooner or later we're all someone's dog

(n.) the desired state of many a soft soul out there.
genuine, silent, powerful.
decidedly not a Hollywood strong-female-character (TM) move, and not captured by the quirky-dream-girl (TM) either.
ambient downtempo friendly/ compatible.

another one of france's contributions to society (pastry). france is just on a roll, y'all.

Italy is a country in europe,people from italy use weird Sign language when they talk,they also consume pasta and pizza as their primary food,they also will go to war against you if you break the pasta to two.

https://the-armijo-signal.com/17133/current-theme/maturity-traditions-by-culture/

mildly related,

(also: coming of age ritual)

A church officer having a superior degree of holiness and a fat preferment. One of Heaven's aristocracy. A gentleman of God.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(also: Birthday Suit)

(n.) an arthropodal critter that combines features of the spider and the snake. some species are equipped with venom for the incapacitation of prey, for times when creepy legs are insufficient

(n.) also called the bush baby and the night monkey, a small, nocturnal, arboreal creature from africa, known for its large ears and big sad eyes that would, on consideration, probably be horrifying if you saw them starting at you in the dead of night.

somewhat resemble a more athletic tarsier, and as a relative of the loris and lemur, a distant cousin of humanity much like the hobbit.

A beautiful and attractive young woman, in wickedness a league beyond the devil.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

There is an art, or, rather, a knack to flying.

The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Pick a nice day and try it.


The first part is easy:

All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt.
That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground.
Most people fall to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard.
Clearly, it is the second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.
One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It's no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won't. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you're halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it's going to hurt if you fail to miss it.

It is notoriously difficult to prize your attention away from these three things during the split second you have at your disposal. Hence most people's failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport.

If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phyllum and/or personal inclination) or a bomb going off in your vicinity, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish manner.

This is a moment for superb and delicate concentration.
Bob and float, bob and float.


Ignore all considerations of your own weight and simply let yourself waft higher.
Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful.
They are most likely to say something along the lines of "Good God, you can't possibly be flying!"
It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right.
Waft higher and higher.
Try a few swoops, gentle ones at first, then drift above the treetops breathing regularly.
DO NOT WAVE AT ANYBODY.
When you have done this a few times you will find the moment of distraction rapidly becomes easier and easier to achieve.

(also: boeing)
(also: airbus)

(n.) a quality historically defining the upper class (noblemen); considered to be roughly synonymous with grace, dignity, erudition and composure, in practice it's more shorthand for "friends in high places and doesn't have to work for a living"

(n.) when thing go boom big

(n.) a meeting of usually-separated family members, intended to remind them to be grateful that they are usually-separated

hollywood big shots enjoy making movies (or at least, they keep doing it; who knows if they enjoy it). but scripts take a lot of time to write, and sometimes it saves time to simply take a pre-existing work of fiction and modify it for the big screen. however, sometimes the source material does not pass through such modification unscathed.

the movie-fication process often takes pains to shorten, lengthen, doll up, ugly up, or in other ways mutilate the source material. e.g.:

* apocalypse now: the original book, 'heart of darkness,' is set in 19th-century Africa instead of vietnam.
* a clockwork orange: alex is cured of his violent tendencies in the end
* forrest gump: gump goes into space with a monkey and a porn star
* jurassic park: the lawyer wasn't a bad guy but hammond was
* starship troopers: the movie and the book both examine the message of "the army is way cool, and better soldiers make better citizens." the book honestly expects the reader to agree with this message, while the movie is laughing in your face for thinking it for even a second.
* who framed roger rabbit?: is about comic strip characters, not animated cartoons, and the killer is like a magic genie or something.
* every stephen king book: doesn't suck. well, not all of them.