ex wife of johnny depp

the hindsight-fueled ramblings of older individuals who forget their own past mistakes and offer vague platitudes.

(also: Relationship advice)

(n.) small green leguminous vegetables. we know a remote farm in lincolnshire, owned by mrs. buckley, where peas grow, every July...

do you really mean that? i thought we were going to have a, a picture of a snowy field on this entry. isn't that the fun of it? we have the snowy field and then we cut to the can of peas. a big dish of peas. we're talking about this buckley broad and she's picking them. right? i don't understand you, what's...

why? why would i link on "in?" that doesn't make any sense. sorry, there's no known way to write an article about peas and segue into the link for the word "in." get me a jury and show me how that's done and i'll go down on you. that's just idiotic, if you don't mind me saying so. "in." impossible. meaningless. you're not thinking. there's too much editing going on around here. i accept edits from one person under protest, two i don't sit still. who the hell are you, anyway? why the hell are you asking me for more links? jesus.

you don't know what i'm up against here. this is a very wearying one. unpleasant to write. unrewarding. i wouldn't edit any living writer the way you're doing this. the right text for this article is the text i'm writing. and now i've spent like twenty times more text on this article than anything else i've ever written. you are such pests. what is it you want? What, in the depths of your ignorance, what is it you want? whatever it is you want, i can't deliver. i just don't see it. no money is worth this.

anyway, here under protest is beef burgers

An habiliment of the stage designed to reinforce the general acclamation of the press agent with a particular publicity. Public attention was once somewhat diverted from this garment to Miss Lillian Russell's refusal to wear it, and many were the conjectures as to her motive, the guess of Miss Pauline Hall showing a high order of ingenuity and sustained reflection. It was Miss Hall's belief that nature had not endowed Miss Russell with beautiful legs. This theory was impossible of acceptance by the male understanding, but the conception of a faulty female leg was of so prodigious originality as to rank among the most brilliant feats of philosophical speculation! It is strange that in all the controversy regarding Miss Russell's aversion to tights no one seems to have thought to ascribe it to what was known among the ancients as "modesty." The nature of that sentiment is now imperfectly understood, and possibly incapable of exposition with the vocabulary that remains to us. The study of lost arts has, however, been recently revived and some of the arts themselves recovered. This is an epoch of renaissances, and there is ground for hope that the primitive "blush" may be dragged from its hiding-place amongst the tombs of antiquity and hissed on to the stage.
(also: infinite)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) 1) a word that censors will not allow you to say through a public medium. 2) supposedly a supernatural affliction that brings misfortune, often as punishment for wronging some supernatural entity. possibly what censors think they're protecting you from, though who knows.

adj. Composed of words of one syllable, for literary babes who never tire of testifying their delight in the vapid compound by appropriate googoogling. The words are commonly Saxon — that is to say, words of a barbarous people destitute of ideas and incapable of any but the most elementary sentiments and emotions.

---

The man who writes in Saxon
Is the man to use an ax on.
—Judibras

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a piece of pathogenic virus, which through exposure can bolster the immune system of a person and thus bestow them with immune defenses against that virus. objected to by those who believe that nothing that good for you can possibly come without a catch, and are subsequently confused about why they always seem to be getting these rare diseases

(n.) bit at the front or top of many life forms-, where the brain is kept.

among the reasonable, the head is said to be good upon the owner's shoulders; among the infatuated, it is said to be beneath their heels; one who is in the throes of panic has lost their head; and so on. clearly matters of head are quite culturally significant

(n.) like flavor, but for your eyes

(n.) the quintessential hymenopteran insect, the most recognizable variety of bee is a small bombinating ball of fuzz colored in yellow and black. the bee is known for its diligence, its ecological value as a pollinator, its utility to humans as a producer of honey, wax, and other products, and its use of kamikaze tactics when threatened.

if you think we can get by without these fellas then you must bee crazy

(1832 – 1891) German engineer who developed compressed charge internal combustion engine to run on petrol
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: nikolaus august otto quotes)

(v.) to be nice with an ulterior motive

A mass for the dead which the minor poets assure us the winds sing o'er the graves of their favorites. Sometimes, by way of providing a varied entertainment, they sing a dirge.
(also: death)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) also called the bush baby and the night monkey, a small, nocturnal, arboreal creature from africa, known for its large ears and big sad eyes that would, on consideration, probably be horrifying if you saw them starting at you in the dead of night.

somewhat resemble a more athletic tarsier, and as a relative of the loris and lemur, a distant cousin of humanity much like the hobbit.

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
(also: Gandhi)

A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.

the basic human decency afforded by obeying me

A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) often found in white-collar companies. a type of bullshit job. and the more they shout they're vital and important and irreplaceable, the more you can be assured that they're standing on a very precarious cliff.

(also: paper-pusher)
(also: bullshit jobs)

Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)