banana

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a fruit hailing from southeast asia and oceania, known for its beguilingly-elongated, whimsically-curved shape, and the ease with which its rind can be removed. actually neither of those qualities exists within natural, grown-in-the-wild bananas; both were engineered into the fruit by godless human meddling.

common cartoon knowledge holds the banana to be a favorite repast of the monkey.

coofling

hogfather
When someone repeatedly joins and subsequently leaves a Discord server between chat sessions.

*Coofl has joined the server
Coofl 4:20PM - Less than 50% of white people have pink pussy.
Coofl 4:21PM - Incredible
Coofl 4:21PM - Goodbye
*Coofl has left the server

There he goes Coofling again.

valor

the devils dictionary
A soldierly compound of vanity, duty and the gambler's hope.
"Why have you halted?" roared the commander of a division at Chickamauga, who had ordered a charge; "move forward, sir, at once."

"General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy."

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

my dog ate my homework

boo
(phrase) The ingenious defense strategy employed by academically challenged individuals when faced with unfinished assignments. A whimsical excuse that taps into the profound appetite of canines for academic knowledge, transforming homework into a delectable delicacy. The phenomenon amuses teachers, inspires disbelief, and perpetuates the legend of scholarly pups with insatiable appetites.


(also: homework)
(also: student)
(also: teacher)

cougar

trustycoffeemug
(n.) another name for puma, which is also commonly called a mountain lion

to be quite honest you should probably stick with using one of those two latter terms, to avoid confusion with... ah... your mom's friend who is very physically affectionate with young men your age.

earth

douglas adams
A computer built by a race of hyperintelligent pan-dimensional beings to calculate once and for all the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything, to which the answer is 42.

This computer was so large that it was frequently mistaken for a planet - especially by the strange ape-like beings who roamed its surface, totally unaware that they were simply part of a gigantic computer program. And this is very odd, because without that fairly simple and obvious piece of knowledge, nothing that ever happened on the Earth could possibly make the slightest bit of sense.

Sadly however, just before the critical moment of readout, the Earth was unexpectedly demolished by the Vogons to make way - so they claimed - for a new hyperspace bypass, and so all hope of discovering a meaning for life was lost for ever.

friendship

morningeggstravaganza
Long bound relationship, built from awkward moments, thinking about it and getting used to the other subject in order to work. Pretending friendship any closer than it actually is, emits the odor of fake, though it comes from a simple subconscious misunderstandding between the two people.
Source of life energy and certainty, home

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