I'm Spartacus

n. One who is compelled by the evidence to believe in free will, and whose will is therefore free to reject that doctrine.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A descendant of Levi, from whose posterity the Lord ordained all the Jewish priests — an instance of nepotism deserving of the severest censure, as incompatible with free institutions and the principle of civil and religious equality.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a cat or something close enough to a cat

also: lion, tiger, leopard, jaguar, cheetah, puma, lynx... clearly someone went overboard on the varieties of cat

(adj.) describing something that is like a cat or like a thing that is close enough to a cat

(n.) life's way of screwing you out of half your Biblically allotted seventy-to-eighty years

a supposed king of england who supposedly ruled around the time the roman empire had withdrawn from the country in the late fifth century. supposedly.

known for being conceived by 'magical' rape-by-fraud, hanging out with wizards, pulling a sword out of a big rock, conquering a number of european places, being cuckolded by a frenchman, trying to drown hundreds of children, and finally getting killed by the one child he didn't manage to drown

although he probably did not actually exist, he is much better known than a majority of real english historical figures

a song that best describes summer

machine used to make people's voices less pleasant for usage in humorous similes.

a death strip preventing pedestrians from entering a city without a car

(n) not a man at all, but a rapey alligator, dressed like jimmy buffett if jimmy had taken bath salts and pcp before breaking into a hardee's for a greasy burger. see (also: matt gaetz)

family is some blood-related -most of the time- humans believing that their love is unconditional

Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

People who always interrupt you when you need some privacy (also: excuses to be disrespectful)

you are using the word 'chemicals' to mean artificially synthesized matter, whereas I use it to mean any kind of matter. Therefore your complaints about 'chemicals', i.e. artificially synthesized matter, mean you are actually complaining about all matter.

noun: a lost soul who may or may not be manipulative but is advocating for what one believes is right.
example: i'm sorry for breaking up your marriage, but i was just being an amberheard because i thought he loved me.

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verb: to act righteously whether morally right or wrong.
example: ricky was perceived as a compulsive liar but he was just amberhearding because he was raised to believe that's the only way to survive in corporate america.

an eastern european nation known for the strong bones of its peasant women and the exceptional quality of its turnips

a system in which people are defined by points based on how they live life, and that it can affect their daily life, such as flying out of the country, decisions in court. a lot like the credit score for bank cards.

material intended to elicit erotic enjoyment in the consumer, usually by virtue of including naked people engaging in carnal acts. most pornography decays after too long (likely due to, ah, use), but if it survives for an extended period it may be promoted to normal art and placed in a museum. nowadays pornography mostly exists on the internet and is apparently doing its part to help close the gender income gap.

"there are two things you never want to see made: laws and kids' college funds."

(noun):
A charming little surprise that life throws at you when you least expect it, like a mischievous imp hiding in the shadows. It's a tiny annoyance that grows into an epic saga, making simple tasks feel like climbing Mount Everest with a rubber chicken.



(also: rubber chicken)

(1863 – 1947) Owner of Ford Motor Company. Revolutionised mass-production techniques
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: henry ford quotes)