A spiritual entity concerning which there hath been brave disputation. Plato held that those souls which in a previous state of existence (antedating Athens) had obtained the clearest glimpses of eternal truth entered into the bodies of persons who became philosophers. Plato himself was a philosopher. The souls that had least contemplated divine truth animated the bodies of usurpers and despots. Dionysius I, who had threatened to decapitate the broad-browed philosopher, was a usurper and despot. Plato, doubtless, was not the first to construct a system of philosophy that could be quoted against his enemies; certainly he was not the last.
"Concerning the nature of the soul," saith the renowned author of Diversiones Sanctorum, "there hath been hardly more argument than that of its place in the body. Mine own belief is that the soul hath her seat in the abdomen — in which faith we may discern and interpret a truth hitherto unintelligible, namely that the glutton is of all men most devout. He is said in the Scripture to 'make a god of his belly' — why, then, should he not be pious, having ever his Deity with him to freshen his faith? Who so well as he can know the might and majesty that he shrines? Truly and soberly, the soul and the stomach are one Divine Entity; and such was the belief of Promasius, who nevertheless erred in denying it immortality. He had observed that its visible and material substance failed and decayed with the rest of the body after death, but of its immaterial essence he knew nothing. This is what we call the Appetite, and it survives the wreck and reek of mortality, to be rewarded or punished in another world, according to what it hath demanded in the flesh. The Appetite whose coarse clamoring was for the unwholesome viands of the general market and the public refectory shall be cast into eternal famine, whilst that which firmly though civilly insisted on ortolans, caviare, terrapin, anchovies, pâtés de foie gras and all such Christian comestibles shall flesh its spiritual tooth in the souls of them forever and ever, and wreak its divine thirst upon the immortal parts of the rarest and richest wines ever quaffed here below. Such is my religious faith, though I grieve to confess that neither His Holiness the Pope nor His Grace the Archbishop of Canterbury (whom I equally and profoundly revere) will assent to its dissemination."
(also: ginger)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a gregarious, trusting equine creature hailing from south africa in appearance halfway between being a horse and a zebra.

as of 1883, extinct, having been systematically wiped out by the destructive thoughtlessness of humankind. real nice.

n. A mealtime inversion that delights the palate and confuses the digestive system.

(also: Breakfast)

the mosquito of the internet, buzzing with annoyance and irrelevance.

looking-glass

(n.) a phenomenon that blesses only the most dedicated. to know you have truly suffered in this life, your reward is the physical evidence of your suffering.

n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.
Ah, punster, would my lot were cast,
Where the cobbler is unknown,
So that I might forget his last
And hear your own.
—Gargo Repsky

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Northern America;

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(also: canada)
(also: mexico)

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Caribbean;

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(also: Anguilla)
(also: Antigua and Barbuda)
(also: Aruba)
(also: Bahamas)
(also: Barbados)
(also: Bermuda (UK))
(also: British Virgin Islands (UK))
(also: Cayman Islands (UK))
(also: Cuba)
(also: Curaçao (NL))
(also: Dominica)
(also: Dominican Republic)
(also: Grenada)
(also: Guadeloupe (FR))
(also: Haiti)
(also: Jamaica)
(also: Martinique (FR))
(also: Montserrat (UK))
(also: Puerto Rico (USA)) (slave state of USA)
(also: Saint Kitts and Nevis)
(also: Saint Lucia)
(also: Saint Vincent and the Grenadines)
(also: Trinidad and Tobago)

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Central America;

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(also: Belize)
(also: Costa Rica)
(also: El Salvador)
(also: Guatemala)
(also: Honduras)
(also: Nicaragua)
(also: Panama)

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South America;

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(also: Argentina)
(also: Bolivia)
(also: Brazil)
(also: Chile)
(also: Colombia)
(also: Ecuador)
(also: French Guiana (FR))
(also: Guyana)
(also: Paraguay)
(also: Peru)
(also: Suriname)
(also: Uruguay)
(also: Venezuela)

(n.) a deep story, which, when measured against literal-mindedness, seems a lie (hence the popular use of the term 'myth' to indicate a falsehood). a story children will ask to hear again and again, not because they are stupid or have low standards, but because they are absorbing cultural and existential patterns.

hear my vow,
I reclaim this term 'myth',
here and now!

(also: vow)
(also: oath)

(also: stake-claiming flag)
(also: flag on the moon)

holiday on June 6th, on which every good Christian does whatever it is you do to celebrate Saint Norbert of Xanten, archbishop of Magdeburg.

Calepine of Outré Fringe Linguistics

A woman that is just a tool for one proccess.

n. In Christian countries, the day after the baseball game.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) music for those moody angst-ridden teenager types; derived from a mix of african-american styles like jazz and country or gospel

A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame — a little more supportable than the one and a little more intolerable than the other. Sometimes it is conferred by an unfriendly and inconsiderate hand.

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I touched the harp in every key,
But found no heeding ear;
And then Ithuriel touched me
With a revealing spear.

Not all my genius, great as 'tis,
Could urge me out of night.
I felt the faint appulse of his,
And leapt into the light!
—W.J. Candleton
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a tiny little insect that compensates for its shrimpiness with endless reinforcements. attracted to exposed foodstuffs, some of the more vicious varieties bite. known also for its monarchist sympathies

An inhabitant of the Sultanate of Zanzibar, off the eastern coast of Africa. The Zanzibaris, a warlike people, are best known in this country through a threatening diplomatic incident that occurred a few years ago. The American consul at the capital occupied a dwelling that faced the sea, with a sandy beach between. Greatly to the scandal of this official's family, and against repeated remonstrances of the official himself, the people of the city persisted in using the beach for bathing. One day a woman came down to the edge of the water and was stooping to remove her attire (a pair of sandals) when the consul, incensed beyond restraint, fired a charge of bird-shot into the most conspicuous part of her person. Unfortunately for the existing entente cordiale between two great nations, she was the Sultana.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The quality of seeing a problem and seeing a solution while doing the most horrid things to get what you want

(n.) music for the moody angst-ridden teenager types, evolved from styles played in the caribbean