the period of time between your birth and your death.
the ancient chinese art of mystical housekeeping
n. An infernal river whose waters caused those who drank them to forget all they knew; whereas the drinker of Spring Valley forgets nothing but the Third Commandment and the pious precepts of a sainted mother.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(n.) one of nature's freakier little bastards, widely reviled for its scuttling posture, venom dripping chelicerae, and beady little clusters of eyes, not to mention its devious use of snares to capture unsuspecting prey. comes in distressingly large sizes and one is watching you almost constantly
In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.
(also: Congress)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: Congress)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
the most californian part of scandinavia
n. A tormenting vehicle in which a pirate jolts you through devious ways to the wrong place, where he robs you.
Thirty million generations of philosophers have debated the definition of intelligence. The most popular definition appears in the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation android manuals:
"Intelligence is the ability to reconcile totally contradictory situations without going completely bonkers. For example, having a stomach ache and not having a stomach ache at the same time, holding a hole without the doughnut, having good luck and bad luck simultaneously, or seeing a real estate agent waive his fee."
(also: philosophy)
(also: mice)
"Intelligence is the ability to reconcile totally contradictory situations without going completely bonkers. For example, having a stomach ache and not having a stomach ache at the same time, holding a hole without the doughnut, having good luck and bad luck simultaneously, or seeing a real estate agent waive his fee."
(also: philosophy)
(also: mice)
In a math textbook, a self-important term for a word problem
The phenomenon by which the value of currency goes down, as if it were being simultaneously attacked by the common cold and a horde of ferocious wildebeests. A process that makes your money worth less and less, until eventually it's worth about as much as the promise of a pension from a galactic government."
reputable graverobber.
(also: graverobbing)
(also: graverobbing)
(n.) something given to a child to shut them up, or given to an adult to distract from the horrors of aging.
(n.) the knowledge that something inadvisable would be enjoyable, generally meant to be resisted to avoid consequences
(n.) implement used by one to bring harm onto another, thus sparking off the central intrigue of civilization
adj. Compatible with the will of a judge having jurisdiction.
(also: law)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: law)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(n.) something one gives up in order to appease a temperamental deity or wife
(v.) to make something into a sacrifice by sacrificing it. ya dig?
(v.) to make something into a sacrifice by sacrificing it. ya dig?
One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
n. Dr. Bartlett, of the Bulletin.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe in which so many pious naturalists have seen a conspicuous evidence of design. The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.
(n.) professional term for the more bleedy kind of boo-boo
sign-up or face the consequences!
“"observers" must obey the call.”
join