It's coming any second now

(n.) one who wishes to give peace a chance.

the beautiful phenomenon where you get eaten by wolves. It's beautiful because it's normal.

The creation of a sick fantasy. Inhabitant of senile and impotent brains. Companion and comforter of rancid spirits born to slavery. A pill for constipated minds. Marxism for the faint of heart.

The denial of love, life and liberty.

a melt-in-your-mouth metal in the boron group, atomic number 31

One of the Creator's lamentable mistakes, repented in sashcloth and axes. Being instated as an archangel, Satan made himself multifariously objectionable and was finally expelled from Heaven. Half-way in his descent he paused, bent his head in thought a moment and at last went back. "There is one favor that I should like to ask," said he.
"Name it."

"Man, I understand, is about to be created. He will need laws."

"What, wretch! you his appointed adversary, charged from the dawn of eternity with hatred of his soul — you ask for the right to make his laws?"

"Pardon; what I have to ask is that he be permitted to make them himself."

It was so ordered.
(also: god)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) one who is in the business of producing lumber. for some reason this invariably involves wearing red flannel shirts and cultivating a beard like the guy in amityville horror

ripe for the adulterating.

(n.) a deep story, which, when measured against literal-mindedness, seems a lie (hence the popular use of the term 'myth' to indicate a falsehood). a story children will ask to hear again and again, not because they are stupid or have low standards, but because they are absorbing cultural and existential patterns.

hear my vow,
I reclaim this term 'myth',
here and now!

(also: vow)
(also: oath)

(also: stake-claiming flag)
(also: flag on the moon)

(n.) A frozen hell in the extreme north of the American continent. Inhabited primarily by roving packs of hockey fans, wolverines, and gravy.

(also: roving packs)

an autumnal holiday celebrated in the americas (both the united states and canada, though on different days) to commemorate any of the following:

1) the historical colonization of the americas (possibly including the displacement of the indigenous people)
2) overeating
3) enduring the presence of family

A period of leisure, which, when looked at closely, often consists of aimlessly scrolling through social media feeds and refreshing emails, interspersed with fleeting moments of productivity that are quickly overshadowed by feelings of guilt and self-doubt.

It is a peculiar phenomenon that one can simultaneously feel both bored and overwhelmed during free time, as if the endless possibilities of what to do next are both too many and too mundane.

(also: Alabama)
(also: Alaska)
(also: Arizona)
(also: Arkansas)
(also: California)
(also: Colorado)
(also: Connecticut)
(also: Delaware)
(also: Florida)
(also: Georgia)
(also: Hawaii)
(also: Idaho)
(also: Illinois)
(also: Indiana)
(also: Iowa)
(also: Kansas)
(also: Kentucky)
(also: Louisiana)
(also: Maine)
(also: Maryland)
(also: Massachusetts)
(also: Michigan)
(also: Minnesota)
(also: Mississippi)
(also: Missouri)
(also: Montana)
(also: Nebraska)
(also: Nevada)
(also: New Hampshire)
(also: New Jersey)
(also: New Mexico)
(also: New York)
(also: North Carolina)
(also: North Dakota)
(also: Ohio)
(also: Oklahoma)
(also: Oregon)
(also: Pennsylvania)
(also: Rhode Island)
(also: South Carolina)
(also: South Dakota)
(also: Tennessee)
(also: Texas)
(also: Utah)
(also: Vermont)
(also: Virginia)
(also: Washington)
(also: West Virginia)
(also: Wisconsin)
(also: Wyoming)

Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.

---

Material things I know, or feel, or see;
All else is immaterial to me.
—Jamrach Holobom
(also: moral backsliding)
(also: the devils dictionary)

(n.) a tiny little insect that compensates for its shrimpiness with endless reinforcements. attracted to exposed foodstuffs, some of the more vicious varieties bite. known also for its monarchist sympathies

One who holds the conviction that the governing authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) one who tracks down and apprehends people for money, usually criminals who have jumped bail.

somewhat similar to a private detective but less likely to wear a monochrome trench coat or monologue to oneself in the rain

The most tempting touchable in all known existence. It's also a source of great peril, fraught with blood and pain. Only touch the floof at your own risk.

“Jenny tried to rub Mrs. Flufferbutt's cat belly, and was rewarded with many scratches.”

(also: pork belly)

(n.) 1) a lowly delinquent and a no-goodnik; 2) a variety of music that revels in one's delinquency and no-goodnikness