internet

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the closest thing to god that humanity has yet created, and very likely to destroy us some time in the future. the internet is like a vast beehive of information of which computers are mere waxy cells.

according to legend, the heart of the internet is a gigantic central server built into a volcano, guarded by armies of orcs in little button-down shirts and maybe al gore or something

president

the devils dictionary
The leading figure in a small group of men of whom — and of whom only — it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.

If that's an honor surely 'tis a greater
To have been a simple and undamned spectator.
Behold in me a man of mark and note
Whom no elector e'er denied a vote! —
An undiscredited, unhooted gent
Who might, for all we know, be President
By acclamation. Cheer, ye varlets, cheer —
I'm passing with a wide and open ear!
—Jonathan Fomry
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

coffee

trustycoffeemug
(n.) one of the less intense and therefore more insidious addicting drugs; in many cultures, morning consumption of coffee is part of a daily ritual in which they affirm their resentment of their daily obligations

ribroaster

the devils dictionary
Censorious language by oneself concerning another. The word is of classical refinement, and is even said to have been used in a fable by Georgius Coadjutor, one of the most fastidious writers of the fifteenth century — commonly, indeed, regarded as the founder of the Fastidiotic School.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

aging

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the hoary specter of death's pay-by-installment plan

(adj.) describing one who is in the process of mutating into a frailer, wrinklier, balder form of life

america

thelostghostofnietzsche
A nation of gun toting both godless and godfearing bible thumping heathens lead by a two year old parchment, that even though it is written in plain English, requires a Corp of scholars to understand. It is said the inhabitants of America subsist only on a hearty diet freedom or a freedom based freedom substitute, Democracy.

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