(n.) remembering what we thought the future would be like way back when we lived in the past, and daydreaming about how it might have been if the future had turned out that way

(n.) remarks stemming from a lack of trust or faith (in the statement, person, group or existence in general), thereby using humour and disbelief as protection.

(n.) an itinerant band of loiterers who are either fleeing religious persecution or looking to sell someone a few reams of cheap foreign crap.

in britain, the term has come to mean a motor-home.

one of several feast days on the gregorian calendar, commemorated by the discounting of storebought confectionery

A place to collect expensive games, only to end up with none that you want to play. (also: water vapor)

machine used to make people's voices less pleasant for usage in humorous similes.

n. In Theology, a miscreant who does his thinking at home instead of putting it out. He is regarded by the priesthood and clergy with the same aversion that a barber feels for the man who shaves himself.



(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(noun): The digital equivalent of a laughing gas, causing uncontrollable bursts of mirth and occasional snort-like sounds. Used liberally to express amusement, even when a mere exhale would suffice. Side effects may include loss of productivity, a decrease in actual audible laughter, and a heightened sense of internet absurdity.

(n.) a word that exists primarily to help out desperate scrabble players

n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A traveler that is taken seriously. A Pilgrim Father was one who, leaving Europe in 1620 because not permitted to sing psalms through his nose, followed it to Massachusetts, where he could personate God according to the dictates of his conscience.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“One love, one heart, one destiny.”
― Robert Marley

(n.) nature's hat. one of the few remaining patches of fur covering left on earth's dominant bald apes (see human)

The one unpardonable sin against one's fellows. In literature, and particularly in poetry, the elements of success are exceedingly simple, and are admirably set forth in the following lines by the reverend Father Gassalasca Jape, entitled, for some mysterious reason, "John A. Joyce."

---

The bard who would prosper must carry a book,
Do his thinking in prose and wear
A crimson cravat, a far-away look
And a head of hexameter hair.
Be thin in your thought and your body'll be fat;
If you wear your hair long you needn't your hat.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending and descending.

n. One of the most important organs of the female system — an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males. The male of our species has a rudimentary lap, imperfectly developed and in no way contributing to the animal's substantial welfare.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1917 – 1963) 38th President of the US. Served at the height of the Cold War and helped defuse Cuban Missile Crisis.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: john f. kennedy quotes)

(n.) a shirker, a slacker, a loafer, an idler, a layabout, a goldbricker, a lazybones, a laggard, a skiver, an indolent, a sloth, a faineant, an otiose, a lollygagger

the list goes on

(n.) a straw human acting as a piece of autumnul decor, as well as to frighten corn thieves away from corn. it operates on the same principle as the panopticon; the corn thief cannot be sure if the scarecrow is a real human capable of reprisal or simply a sack of hay. the uncertainty eats them alive from the inside until they destroy themselves.

compare gargoyles, similarly created as symbols of fear to ward off evil