smithareen

the devils dictionary
A fragment, a decomponent part, a remain. The word is used variously, but in the following verses on a noted female reformer who opposed bicycle-riding by women because it "led them to the devil" it is seen at its best:

The wheels go round without a sound —
The maidens hold high revel;
In sinful mood, insanely gay,
True spinsters spin adown the way
From duty to the devil!
They laugh, they sing, and — ting-a-ling!
Their bells go all the morning;
Their lanterns bright bestar the night
Pedestrians a-warning.
With lifted hands Miss Charlotte stands,
Good-Lording and O-mying,
Her rheumatism forgotten quite,
Her fat with anger frying.
She blocks the path that leads to wrath,
Jack Satan's power defying.

The wheels go round without a sound,
The lights burn red and blue and green.
What's this that's found upon the ground?
Poor Charlotte Smith's a smithareen!
—John William Yope

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

sitcom

trustycoffeemug
"situational comedy"

a televisual narrative entertainment program which purports to place identifiable yet idiosyncratic characters into comedic situations. one of the means by which television executives drain your life force, but alas, never say no one told you life was gonna be this way.

no

boo
(adverb): A word that means the opposite of "yes" but is often used ironically to actually mean "yes". Because why be straightforward when you can make people guess?



elvis

trustycoffeemug
a singer (to be precise, both a wailer and a crooner) who enjoyed enormous popularity between the nineteen-fifties and nineteen-seventies, culminating with his going to seed and an ignominious death on the toilet

known for his distinctive voice and sense of style, he has been called the king of rock and roll. although he had a surname (presley), it is rarely necessary to use it, as he is the most famous bearer of the name 'elvis' in history.

these facts, taken into consideration with the hordes of those who seek to impersonate him at las vegas and who insist they have seen him alive and well long after his death, suggest that he is roughly on par with jesus of nazareth in his religious significance

physics

trustycoffeemug
(n.) an academic discipline that discusses and researches the motions of physical bodies, from tiny atoms up to massive stars and our entire galaxy.

physics was invented when archimedes was running home from the bathhouse to write down his thoughts on fluid displacement; he slipped and fell into a temporal anomaly, landing on the head of isaac newton, who thus also got some neat ideas about gravity in one of history's rare twofers.

... well, okay, it wasn't exactly that, but it was something like that.

teenager

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a human being between the ages of approximately 13 and 19, characterized by having reached the developmental stage during which even their parents can no longer pretend they're cute

bitter old age may be considered a sort of sequel to teen-age, being the point where a well-adjusted adult finally kills their inner child

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