(n.) the haunting knowledge that one has done something wrong despite their better judgment; generally a deterrent against future wrongdoing until the individual forgets about it

(also: shame)

A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors. In order to effect this purpose it is necessary to supply a contrast in the person of one who is called the defendant, the prisoner or the accused. If the contrast is made sufficiently clear this person is made to undergo such an affliction as will give the virtuous gentlemen a comfortable sense of their immunity, added to that of their worth. In our day the accused is usually a human being, or a socialist, but in mediæval times, animals, fishes, reptiles and insects were brought to trial. A beast that had taken human life, or practiced sorcery, was duly arrested, tried and, if condemned, put to death by the public executioner. Insects ravaging grain fields, orchards or vineyards were cited to appeal by counsel before a civil tribunal, and after testimony, argument and condemnation, if they continued in contumaciam the matter was taken to a high ecclesiastical court, where they were solemnly excommunicated and anathematized. In a street of Toledo, some pigs that had wickedly run between the viceroy's legs, upsetting him, were arrested on a warrant, tried and punished. In Naples an ass was condemned to be burned at the stake, but the sentence appears not to have been executed. D'Addosio relates from the court records many trials of pigs, bulls, horses, cocks, dogs, goats, etc., greatly, it is believed, to the betterment of their conduct and morals. In 1451 a suit was brought against the leeches infesting some ponds about Berne, and the Bishop of Lausanne, instructed by the faculty of Heidelberg University, directed that some of "the aquatic worms" be brought before the local magistracy. This was done and the leeches, both present and absent, were ordered to leave the places that they had infested within three days on pain of incurring "the malediction of God." In the voluminous records of this cause célèbre nothing is found to show whether the offenders braved the punishment, or departed forthwith out of that inhospitable jurisdiction.
(also: judge)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A condition experience by anerobic humans when they leave the relative safety of their small, intenstine-like basements.

falling into the misconception that you've found your significant other and want to spend the rest of your life with them, aka (also: marriage)

Expression. The artful response to someone's attempt at assistance that's akin to receiving a single raisin as payment for winning a chocolate factory.

(also: shame on you)

a lovely woman, really. I won't hear a word spoken against her character.

have you called your mom lately? she would probably appreciate it.

A portable sheath in which the ancient statesman and the aboriginal lawyer carried their lighter arguments.

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He extracted from his quiver,
Did the controversial Roman,
An argument well fitted
To the question as submitted,
Then addressed it to the liver,
Of the unpersuaded foeman.
—Oglum P. Boomp
(also: sex)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a blind human who insists that every sighted person is a liar

(adj.) full to and over the brim.
spilling over the rim.
defying the container and its boundaries, and entering the world.

(n.) one in a never-ending series of new ideas (including nationality, religion, and boredom) which has inspired human beings to violent conflict. it involves something to do with workers and production, etc. etc.

(Noun) A British actress and model who has somehow managed to stay perpetually stunning, despite the laws of time and gravity. Known for her iconic role as a bikini-wearing seductress in "Austin Powers," she's also an expert in wearing dresses with necklines that go deeper than the Mariana Trench. Some say she's even been spotted in a bikini during winter, unfazed by the cold because her beauty radiates enough heat. Though she may not have discovered the fountain of youth, she's definitely discovered the secret to looking fabulous in your 50s.

Letters indicating the degree Legumptionorum Doctor, one learned in laws, gifted with legal gumption. Some suspicion is cast upon this derivation by the fact that the title was formerly ££.d., and conferred only upon gentlemen distinguished for their wealth. At the date of this writing Columbia University is considering the expediency of making another degree for clergymen, in place of the old D.D. — Damnator Diaboli. The new honor will be known as Sanctorum Custos, and written $$.¢. The name of the Rev. John Satan has been suggested as a suitable recipient by a lover of consistency, who points out that Professor Harry Thurston Peck has long enjoyed the advantage of a degree.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A way of cultural information being shared

(i) not a bird nor a plane. Sometimes a man, sometimes a myth.
(ii) the decoder ring on a map. can you believe it, map creators stuck the lock and key together? amateurs. they couldn't even give us a puzzle or riddle to look forward to.

really want it to be etymologically linked to ledger, but alas.

(adj.) sure, maybe, but don't count on it.

(also: up in the air)
(also: tba)
(also: tbd)
not (also: carved in stone)

an ever increasing field that threatens to consume all unless someone comes up with a solution but that is someone else's problem…oh god it is already here.

A symbol of sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven. Even the great and good Andrew Carnegie has made his profession of faith in the matter.

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Carnegie the dauntless has uttered his call
To battle: "The brokers are parasites all!"
Carnegie, Carnegie, you'll never prevail;
Keep the wind of your slogan to belly your sail,
Go back to your isle of perpetual brume,
Silence your pibroch, doff tartan and plume:
Ben Lomond is calling his son from the fray —
Fly, fly from the region of Wall Street away!
While still you're possessed of a single baubee
(I wish it were pledged to endowment of me)
'Twere wise to retreat from the wars of finance
Lest its value decline ere your credit advance.
For a man 'twixt a king of finance and the sea,
Carnegie, Carnegie, your tongue is too free!
—Anonymus Bink
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a fruit hailing from southeast asia and oceania, known for its beguilingly-elongated, whimsically-curved shape, and the ease with which its rind can be removed. actually neither of those qualities exists within natural, grown-in-the-wild bananas; both were engineered into the fruit by godless human meddling.

common cartoon knowledge holds the banana to be a favorite repast of the monkey.

(v) to inhabit without paying rent, usually granted that one is a ghost