archimedes of syracuse (287-212 BC) was perhaps the greatest mathematical mind of his day. a student of the mouseion of alexandria, archimedes returned to his home city of syracuse to become an inventor of great renown.

he is reputed to be the originator of the theory of fluid displacement (and, related, an early critic of your primitive notions of modesty), a quick and consistent calculation method for the volume of a sphere, the archimedes screw (not a sex act, a means of pumping water), and possibly even a death ray he used on roman invaders.

in 212 BC archimedes was supposedly killed by a roman legionary who had been instructed to find the great mathematician and bring him before his commander, marcellus. while this legionary looked for his quarry, he stumbled upon a scruffy old man drawing circles in the sand; the old man snapped at the legionary not to scuff his circles, and was killed for his impertinence. naturally the old man turned out to have been archimedes. heh. cosmic irony.

(n.) 1) someone who is no longer your wife. this was certainly worth an entry, wasn't it? 2) good-for-nothing shrewish harpy hag

A portable sheath in which the ancient statesman and the aboriginal lawyer carried their lighter arguments.

---

He extracted from his quiver,
Did the controversial Roman,
An argument well fitted
To the question as submitted,
Then addressed it to the liver,
Of the unpersuaded foeman.
—Oglum P. Boomp
(also: sex)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the people or groups of people in charge of running things, or in charge of preventing things from running for safety reasons. The Man.

(phrase):
The enlightening moment when you become acutely aware of being in a predicament that leaves you feeling like a bewildered squirrel trapped in a maze. It's a sudden realization that you've unwittingly stumbled into a situation from which escape seems as elusive as a unicorn on roller skates.


(also: Embracing the absurdity)

(n.) a force that exists within a young girl's heart which can purportedly free her if sufficiently groovy

The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

truce
(also: truce)

a horrific mouthless bird-monster used in heraldry. It doesn't represent anything.

A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
"What is your religion, my son?" inquired the Archbishop of Rheims.

"Pardon, monseigneur," replied Rochebriant; "I am ashamed of it."

"Then why do you not become an atheist?"

"Impossible! I should be ashamed of atheism."

"In that case, monsieur, you should join the Protestants."
(also: god)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a feline predator of africa and southern asia, of a spotty complexion.

the occasional leopard with one very large all-over black spot is referred to as a black panther

there were many cleopatras in history, but if you'll permit me to duck the niceties, there is virtually no chance you mean any other cleopatra beside cleopatra vii

cleopatra vii (70-30 BC) was a descendant of ptolemy and queen of egypt (in her time a country ruled not by the tourism board but greek nobles). known for having affairs with both julius caesar and marc antony, and somewhat less known for marrying her ten year old brother when she was 18. often depicted as a schemer, a seductress, and an exotic beauty by those who forget ancient people did not use the same hairstyles or makeup styles as modern people.

An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the minutia in a debate that is what it is you're arguing about

The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

(adj.) the golden people who know how to give, how to take, and how to set boundaries -- the people who keep the world flowing (much like a healthy river).
https://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/givers-vs-takers-the-surprising-truth-about-who-gets-ahead/

(also: happy, smart, useful)
(also: reciprocation)
(also: flowing)

To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbing and deadcatting of the opposition.

A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
(also: marriage)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) one of the tastiest dishes (aside from sushi ofc!)




(also: plov)