Evident to one's self and to nobody else.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1809 -– 1882) –Scientist who proposed and popularised theory of evolution.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: charles darwin quotes)

a week that commemorates the week jesus christ returned to jerusalem, which ended with his betrayal, crucifixion and eventual resurrection. for catholic people this week marks the end of lent. for everyone else, it is simply the week leading up to discount chocolate at the grocery store.

* palm sunday: supposedly represents the day jesus returned to jerusalem
* holy monday: represents the day jesus cursed at a fig tree (or something)
* holy tuesday: represents the day jesus received the vision of his own impending death
* spy wednesday: represents the day judas iscariot arranged for jesus' betrayal. does not involve james bond.
* maundy thursday: no idea what a maundy is, but this supposedly represents the day of the last supper jesus enjoyed with his disciples
* good friday: represents the day of the crucifixion
* black saturday: represents jesus chilling while being dead
* easter

it can be assumed all of these involve some kind of praying or something.

(1475 – 1564) Renaissance sculptor, painter and architect
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: michelangelo quotes)

(1845 – 1923) German physicist who discovered electromagnetic waves or X-rays.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: wilhelm conrad roentgen quotes)

n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. Three great scientific theories of the structure of the universe are the molecular, the corpuscular and the atomic. A fourth affirms, with Haeckel, the condensation or precipitation of matter from ether — whose existence is proved by the condensation or precipitation. The present trend of scientific thought is toward the theory of ions. The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion. A fifth theory is held by idiots, but it is doubtful if they know any more about the matter than the others.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a sport which tests the extent of one's whacking ability: winning a round of golf will often require one to produce whacks of great intensity, but also gentler and more controlled whacks, and a canny player will certainly need to know the comparative advantages of different shafts and heads.

the aim is to produce only the minimum amount of whacks necessary in order to fill a hole.

the game is popular in scotland (anyone surprised?)

now pardon me while I use the ball washer.

n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a peon; a lowly goombah; a low-ranking catspaw; a lackey; an errand boy; a mook

(also: spreading democracy)

Enough.

To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument; as, "He presided at the piccolo."

---

The Headliner, holding the copy in hand,
Read with a solemn face:
"The music was very uncommonly grand —
The best that was ever provided,
For our townsman Brown presided
At the organ with skill and grace."
The Headliner discontinued to read,
And, spreading the paper down
On the desk, he dashed in at the top of the screed:
"Great playing by President Brown."
—Orpheus Bowen
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
(also: marriage)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

* Because one wishes to express animosity towards another
* Because one wishes to emphasize a more casual company in which strict etiquette need not be adhered to and offense need not be taken
* Because one knows full well the other person will be in their company so often that NOT forgiving disrespect would become tedious

(1042 – 29 July 1099) Influential Pope who ordered the first Crusade to the Holy Land and set up the Papal Court
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: pope urban ii quotes)

One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.
(also: death)
(also: the devils dictionary)

(n.) a life form whose insurance wouldn't cover the dinged-up genetic code.

(n.) a way of saying "distinguishing characteristics," when you feel that just saying "distinguishing characteristics" just wouldn't cut it

"hey, this has all the indicia of a run on the banks, george!"

Churches for the powerless. Pawnshops for the stingy and weak. Many join to live parasitically off the backs of their card-carrying simpleton colleagues. Some join to become spies. Others, the most sincere, join to end up in jail from where they can observe the mean-spiritedness of all the rest.