A fossil patriot of the early agricultural period, found in the old red soapstone underlying Kansas; characterized by an uncommon spread of ear, which some naturalists contend gave him the power of flight, though Professors Morse and Whitney, pursuing independent lines of thought, have ingeniously pointed out that had he possessed it he would have gone elsewhere. In the picturesque speech of his period, some fragments of which have come down to us, he was known as "The Matter with Kansas."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(adj.) a physical property of an object.
(adj.) a conceptual property of a meme (philosophically speaking), e.g. image, melody, idea.

https://libgen.rs/search.php?req=hierarchy+of+contagious

Long bound relationship, built from awkward moments, thinking about it and getting used to the other subject in order to work. Pretending friendship any closer than it actually is, emits the odor of fake, though it comes from a simple subconscious misunderstandding between the two people.
Source of life energy and certainty, home

(n.) a tarot character. someone who can see the dirt beneath her feet, and the roots, and the rocks, and the bugs. as a result, she can make very good soup.

(n.) a dining room cabinet or sideboard, short enough to serve as a secondary table, in which one (presumably one unwilling to admit they have a problem) may store their booze.

the name 'credenza' comes to us from italian, and means 'trusted one,' apparently because these cabinets were where food was taste-tested for poison before being presented to the pope

(1712-1778) – French philosopher, author of Social Contract
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: jean-jacques rousseau quotes)

n. A sacred rite of such efficacy that he who finds himself in heaven without having undergone it will be unhappy forever. It is performed with water in two ways—by immersion, or plunging, and by aspersion, or sprinkling.

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But whether the plan of immersion
Is better than simple aspersion
Let those immersed
And those aspersed
Decide by the Authorized Version,
And by matching their agues tertian.
—G.J.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) without hair; the condition of baldness in human men is often taken as a sign of dignified maturity, or at least that's what bald men are repeatedly assured

(also: leaving the planet)

(n.) one who dares to ask just who this god person is anyway

n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."
— Calcraft the Hangman.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The ratio of people tired of someone else's shit. Typically measured by county, city, or state, where applicable.

(also: North Carolina)

remember back in, what, 3rd grade, was it? when at the end of the school year there was nothing to do in class and we just sat in a line and gave the person in front a back rub? Back when we could be intimate, bonding like that. Nowadays we'd be all self-conscious and we would all be uncomfortably joking about sexual undertones, but back then it was just a thing we did as peers. But now that we're teenagers we can never be in that state of innocent, friendly intimacy.

The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.

---

They say that hens do cackle loudest when
There's nothing vital in the eggs they've laid;
And there are hens, professing to have made
A study of mankind, who say that men
Whose business 'tis to drive the tongue or pen
Make the most clamorous fanfaronade
O'er their most worthless work; and I'm afraid
They're not entirely different from the hen.
Lo! the drum-major in his coat of gold,
His blazing breeches and high-towering cap —
Imperiously pompous, grandly bold,
Grim, resolute, an awe-inspiring chap!
Who'd think this gorgeous creature's only virtue
Is that in battle he will never hurt you?
—Hannibal Hunsiker

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

ptolemy i soter (367-282 BC) was a doofy-looking greek man who served as a military commander under alexander the great, for which he was made satrap (governor) of egypt, starting a new greek dynasty over the whole country (as well as other bits of the levant). he also responsible for establishing the musaium, the great library and university at alexandria.

following alexander's somewhat mysterious death while on campaign in babylon, ptolemy was on hand to have the conqueror's body taken to alexandria to be properly buried, which would have been read, by the custom of the time, as a declaration that he was alexander's "real, for true" successor (and it's rumored by some that he might have been alexander's illegitimate brother, though this is unlikely)

the ptolemaic dynasty of egypt was plagued by incest and treachery (yadda yadda) until it finally ended in 30 BC, when julius caesar decided egypt would make a nice backyard extension.

My Little Pony, or MLP, is a TV show born in the 1980s, though in the modern day it's much better known for its fourth generation and the interesting fandom born around it.

The highly comical sound that an 80's Sci-fi gun makes.

Can also be the following sounds.

"PEEEEW PEW PEW PEW"

"PEW PEW PEW"

one possible means by which the universe may have come into existence, which has eclipsed the "laid by a giant space chicken" hypothesis

succinctly put, this theory proposes that the universe originally existed in an infinitesimal, incomprehensibly small state, then exploded outward and has continued to grow and spread continually ever since, ably accounting for the blueshift of cosmic background radiation

the puzzle of how the universe can expand, implying the existence of an outward territory which is not part of it (despite it supposedly containing everything) is one of those cranium-confounders for big shot physicists to solve.

(n.) 1) someone who is no longer your wife. this was certainly worth an entry, wasn't it? 2) good-for-nothing shrewish harpy hag

(phrase) The timeless excuse of students seeking mercy for incomplete tasks, conjuring images of valiant guardianship over pint-sized terrors. A tale of unexpected responsibilities and heroic feats of sibling supervision, where chaos reigns and homework crumbles in the face of diaper changes and tantrums. A bittersweet plea for understanding, blending the frustrations of caretaking with the comedic antics of miniature humans.


(also: my dog ate my homework)