An exuse your blood relatives will use to take advantage of you.

Evident to one's self and to nobody else.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.
(also: boredom)

so called money that make me have less money
(also: money losing methods)

Censorious language by another concerning oneself.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. Dr. Bartlett, of the Bulletin.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

It's coming any second now

(n.) professional term for a bruisey kind of boo-boo

(n.) a winged vehicle designed to travel through the air, fulfilling mankind's most frivolous dream. heap big devil bird.

a convenient way of reaching destinations expeditiously, and of delivering bombs to hiroshima.

may or may not contain snakes

adj. Pertaining to a kind of marriage between a man of exalted rank and a woman of low degree by which the wife gets nothing but a husband, and not much of a husband. From Morgan (J. P.), a king of finance, by a transaction with whom nobody gets anything at all.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A tall building on the seashore in which the government maintains a lamp and the friend of a politician.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A book full of symbols that explain other symbols so the symbols that explain the symbols can have some meaning.

falling into the misconception that you've found your significant other and want to spend the rest of your life with them, aka (also: marriage)

Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

also "sci-fi" (skiffy) if you're afraid of using too many syllables.

a genre of fiction, consisting of stories that, broadly speaking, dare to imagine new inventions, technologies, or scientific discoveries, and how they would affect the world. often this will consist of showing us how humanity would use these new discoveries to destroy itself or oppress each other; there are startlingly few stories where police using psychics to stop crime, or society having a robot taskforce, or people upgrading themselves with cyborg limbs, actually turns out to be a *good* thing (though this may just be because stories where only good things happen are boring).

some concepts you should know about so you won't look like a dweeb in front of sci-fi fans:
* the future, where a lot of these stories tend to take place
* aliens, folks who come from off this island earth. show up in a lot of sci-fi stories, usually invading us, getting invaded by us, or just sort of hanging around bars as a way for the special effects team to show off.
* robot, artificially constructed people, because naturally you'd want your smartphone to look like a person
* ftl: faster-than-light travel, required in any sci-fi story with space travel, or else it would take millennia to finish
* time travel: being able to leave today and go to yesterday, or tomorrow. prone to logical paradoxes.
* hard science fiction: sci-fi that tries to be as realistic as possible. is not a form of pornography
* space opera: stories where people fly around in spaceships and have fantastic adventures on other planets
* cyberpunk and other punk; stories that show how technological process won't fix society's usual problems

(n.) a small metallic disk used as an insignificant quantity of money; so insignificant, in fact, that you'll often find it used for other purposes like resolving two-sided disagreements

Avtomat Kalashnikova model of 1947, more commonly known as the AK-47, or Kalashnikov. It's the worlds most popular assault rifle, a weapon all fighters love. An elegantly simple nine pound amalgamation of forged steel and plywood, it doesn't break, jam, or overheat. It will fire whether it's covered in mud or filled with sand. It's so easy even a child could use it, and they do. The Soviets put the gun on a coin. Mozambique put it on their flag. Since the end of the Cold War, the Kalashnikov has become the Russian people's greatest export. After that comes vodka, caviar, and suicidal novelists. One thing is for sure, no one was lining up to buy their cars.

(n.) a singular falsehood soon to be joined by other lies

a state of society or communal existence where everything is immaculate and perfect. It still wouldn't be good enough for you though, would it?

n. A kind of inlaid work. From Moses, who when little was inlaid in a basket among the bulrush.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)