tangled headphones

boo
(noun):
The mischievous work of a wire-wielding poltergeist, lurking in the shadows of your pockets and bags, eagerly plotting to turn your headphones into a tangled mess of frustration. It's a cosmic prank that rivals the greatest slapstick comedy, as if Charlie Chaplin himself orchestrated the chaos. Untangling the knotty mess becomes a high-stakes puzzle, a battle of wits against an invisible foe with a PhD in knotting. It's a spectacle that leaves you questioning your life choices and contemplating a career as a professional knot detangler. So grab your patience, your sense of humor, and a strong cup of coffee, because in the world of tangled headphones, laughter is the only way to keep your sanity intact.



(also: headphones)

rope

the devils dictionary
An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long. It has been largely superseded by a more complex electrical device worn upon another part of the person; and this is rapidly giving place to an apparatus known as the preachment.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

opposition

the devils dictionary
In politics the party that prevents the Government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
The King of Ghargaroo, who had been abroad to study the science of government, appointed one hundred of his fattest subjects as members of a parliament to make laws for the collection of revenue. Forty of these he named the Party of Opposition and had his Prime Minister carefully instruct them in their duty of opposing every royal measure. Nevertheless, the first one that was submitted passed unanimously. Greatly displeased, the King vetoed it, informing the Opposition that if they did that again they would pay for their obstinacy with their heads. The entire forty promptly disemboweled themselves.

"What shall we do now?" the King asked. "Liberal institutions cannot be maintained without a party of Opposition."

"Splendor of the universe," replied the Prime Minister, "it is true these dogs of darkness have no longer their credentials, but all is not lost. Leave the matter to this worm of the dust."

So the Minister had the bodies of his Majesty's Opposition embalmed and stuffed with straw, put back into the seats of power and nailed there. Forty votes were recorded against every bill and the nation prospered. But one day a bill imposing a tax on warts was defeated — the members of the Government party had not been nailed to their seats! This so enraged the King that the Prime Minister was put to death, the parliament was dissolved with a battery of artillery, and government of the people, by the people, for the people perished from Ghargaroo.

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