oscar wilde

trustycoffeemug
one of the most extravagantly gay artists of his time. since his time was the late 19th century, being extravagantly gay was pretty risky for him. but i'm sure it turned out all right for him in the end. heh.

known for the acerbic wit he brought to his work in both play and prose; see 'the importance of being earnest' and 'the picture of dorian gray,' respectively. roughly 80% of spurious quotes are attributed to either him or winston churchill

attila the hun

trustycoffeemug
the roman world was in a mess; the emperor caused no end of stress
then in the year four-forty-one, there came this guy, attila the hun
run away! Here comes attila
flee today! he'll sack your villa
can't you see? he's come to kill ya
swipe your bed, and then your pilla
attila was a nasty king; he and his huns wrecked everything
he lived by arson and the sword, burned down france cuz he got bored
run away! here comes attila
far away! go to manilla
kills more people than godzilla
swipes your sheets and then your pilla
to a wedding attila went, looking sharp like a hunnish gent
made a quick speech, went to bed; very next morning, was found dead
fare thee well, goodbye attila
bury him deep neath the rolling hillas
he wore shorts made of chinchilla
his favorite ice cream was strawberry

inspirational quotes

quote
“He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect for more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you.”
― Bob Marley
(also: Bob Marley)

poverty

the devils dictionary
A file provided for the teeth of the rats of reform. The number of plans for its abolition equals that of the reformers who suffer from it, plus that of the philosophers who know nothing about it. Its victims are distinguished by possession of all the virtues and by their faith in leaders seeking to conduct them into a prosperity where they believe these to be unknown.
(also: leaving the planet)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

ramses ii

trustycoffeemug
Userma'atre'setepenre, mercifully also known as ramses ii (1303-1213 BC) was a pharaoh of ancient egypt, more specifically early in the nineteenth dynasty, and considered one of the better and more significant rulers in egyptian history.

among his more notable achievements: ordering the construction of the temples at abu simbel, marrying nefertari, many outstanding military victories against the syrians and nubians and pirates, and even signing one of history's oldest recorded peace treaties (with the hittites, egypt's longtime enemies, since you asked). he is also sometimes believed to be the pharaoh mentioned in the biblical tale of exodus (evidence is sketchy, though the book of exodus does allude to the city of pi ramses, which was founded by and dedicated to ramses ii).

he died, somewhat predictably- according to manetho the historian, from simple complications relating to advanced age after 66 years of rule- and was entombed in the valley of kings, in a tomb today called KV7 by academics.

today he is best known for lending his name (or its greek form "ozymandias") to a poem by percy shelley. the theme of the poem is that the weight of history will gradually drag even men of great achievement into the dark depths of obscurity.

banana

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a fruit hailing from southeast asia and oceania, known for its beguilingly-elongated, whimsically-curved shape, and the ease with which its rind can be removed. actually neither of those qualities exists within natural, grown-in-the-wild bananas; both were engineered into the fruit by godless human meddling.

common cartoon knowledge holds the banana to be a favorite repast of the monkey.

reading

the devils dictionary
The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.

We know by one's reading
His learning and breeding;
By what draws his laughter
We know his Hereafter.
Read nothing, laugh never —
The Sphinx was less clever!
—Jupiter Muke
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

art

the devils dictionary
n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related as follows by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape, S.J.

One day a wag—what would the wretch be at?—
Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT,
And said it was a god's name! Straight arose
Fantastic priests and postulants (with shows,
And mysteries, and mummeries, and hymns,
And disputations dire that lamed their limbs)
To serve his temple and maintain the fires,
Expound the law, manipulate the wires.
Amazed, the populace the rites attend,
Believe whate'er they cannot comprehend,
And, inly edified to learn that two
Half-hairs joined so and so (as Art can do)
Have sweeter values and a grace more fit
Than Nature's hairs that never have been split,
Bring cates and wines for sacrificial feasts,
And sell their garments to support the priests.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

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