(n) A convenient excuse for the Almighty to shirk their divine duties and leave humanity to their own devices. One can only imagine the heavenly distractions that must be more important than answering prayers or intervening in earthly affairs. Perhaps God is binge-watching a new series on Netflix or indulging in a celestial spa day. Either way, mere mortals will have to wait until God returns to their desk to handle the backlog of requests. In the meantime, humans may have to resort to solving their own problems, like adults.

(also: creation of the universe)

(n.) a straw human acting as a piece of autumnul decor, as well as to frighten corn thieves away from corn. it operates on the same principle as the panopticon; the corn thief cannot be sure if the scarecrow is a real human capable of reprisal or simply a sack of hay. the uncertainty eats them alive from the inside until they destroy themselves.

compare gargoyles, similarly created as symbols of fear to ward off evil

Dumb and illiterate.
(also: truth)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

/rɛd/ (adj.):
A hue resembling a ripe tomato or a Marxist manifesto. Also used to describe a balance sheet that's "in the red," which is financial jargon for "totally screwed."

Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless. That is the view that prevails in the underworld, where the Brotherhood of Man finds its most logical development and candid advocacy. To denizens of the midworld the word means good and wise.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

i suppose i could discuss this topic here, but are you certain you could trust anything i'd say?

A symbol of sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven. Even the great and good Andrew Carnegie has made his profession of faith in the matter.

---

Carnegie the dauntless has uttered his call
To battle: "The brokers are parasites all!"
Carnegie, Carnegie, you'll never prevail;
Keep the wind of your slogan to belly your sail,
Go back to your isle of perpetual brume,
Silence your pibroch, doff tartan and plume:
Ben Lomond is calling his son from the fray —
Fly, fly from the region of Wall Street away!
While still you're possessed of a single baubee
(I wish it were pledged to endowment of me)
'Twere wise to retreat from the wars of finance
Lest its value decline ere your credit advance.
For a man 'twixt a king of finance and the sea,
Carnegie, Carnegie, your tongue is too free!
—Anonymus Bink
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A person more learned in the languages of others than wise in his own.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

A substance (a vapor i believe) in yiur brain that makes you forget what you like hate or want. Making the entire universe seem like game of shadows it washes your brain of the colourful passion which makes you drunk. You can say mood is decided by ratio of these two substances

(n.) sadness which has an almost crippling effect

probably the force that led you to this online dictionary

bil·lion·aire CEO lives on em·ploy·ee's sal·a·ry | ˌbilyəˈner ˌsēˈēˈō ˈlivz ɒn ɛmˈplɔɪˌiz ˈsæləri |
noun
a modern-day fairytale in which a billionaire CEO, known for their insatiable greed and exploitation of workers, miraculously sustains their extravagant lifestyle by siphoning off meager salaries from their hardworking employees.

The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.
(also: bypasses)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Calepine of Outré Fringe Linguistics

(n.) a celebrated political figure, generally more respected than a typical politician by virtue of being dead

form of restaurant where they throw hot food at you

v.t. To rebuke with stones. St. Stephen, for example, was lapidated like a Chinaman.

---

Lamented St. Steve,
What Christian can grieve
For the way that you came to your death?
For the monument fair
Of memorial stones
Was reared in the air
O'er your honored bones
Ere yet you'd relinquished your breath.
No doubt as your soul exhaled
You were thanked by resolution;
For the builders' design had failed
Except for your execution.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(Noun) A British actress and model who has somehow managed to stay perpetually stunning, despite the laws of time and gravity. Known for her iconic role as a bikini-wearing seductress in "Austin Powers," she's also an expert in wearing dresses with necklines that go deeper than the Mariana Trench. Some say she's even been spotted in a bikini during winter, unfazed by the cold because her beauty radiates enough heat. Though she may not have discovered the fountain of youth, she's definitely discovered the secret to looking fabulous in your 50s.

An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long. It has been largely superseded by a more complex electrical device worn upon another part of the person; and this is rapidly giving place to an apparatus known as the preachment.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. Literally a freedman; hence, one who is in bondage to his passions.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)