the place we take ourselves when we refuse much needed help

Churches for the powerless. Pawnshops for the stingy and weak. Many join to live parasitically off the backs of their card-carrying simpleton colleagues. Some join to become spies. Others, the most sincere, join to end up in jail from where they can observe the mean-spiritedness of all the rest.

(n.) drops of water which condense within clouds and fall from the sky. this tends to happen only when the weatherman said it would not

Shaming people just because they are dictators. It is illegal in many 3rd world countries.

(also: most common shaming practices)
(also: necessary shaming practices)

[warning: under construction]

(also: office cubicle monotony)


(link is not broken, though it appears to be)

(also: y2k panic)

(also: Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
(also: Cowboy Bebop)

(also: european union)

Freaky dance moves pulled up by Lil Adam after he was literally brought to life.

(n.) the actions of a spy; for when military action is too indelicate and diplomacy is too delicate

(noun):
The mischievous work of a wire-wielding poltergeist, lurking in the shadows of your pockets and bags, eagerly plotting to turn your headphones into a tangled mess of frustration. It's a cosmic prank that rivals the greatest slapstick comedy, as if Charlie Chaplin himself orchestrated the chaos. Untangling the knotty mess becomes a high-stakes puzzle, a battle of wits against an invisible foe with a PhD in knotting. It's a spectacle that leaves you questioning your life choices and contemplating a career as a professional knot detangler. So grab your patience, your sense of humor, and a strong cup of coffee, because in the world of tangled headphones, laughter is the only way to keep your sanity intact.



(also: headphones)

(n.) one who sees to the care and cleanliness of a building. the keeper of hidden broom, wielder of the sawdust of arnor. into his boiler room, you shall not pass.

To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A delicate and costly textile fabric with which the female soul is netted like a fish.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) something one gives up in order to appease a temperamental deity or wife

(v.) to make something into a sacrifice by sacrificing it. ya dig?

An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long. It has been largely superseded by a more complex electrical device worn upon another part of the person; and this is rapidly giving place to an apparatus known as the preachment.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

explosive i guess
(also: creation of the universe)

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”― George Eliot

In politics the party that prevents the Government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
The King of Ghargaroo, who had been abroad to study the science of government, appointed one hundred of his fattest subjects as members of a parliament to make laws for the collection of revenue. Forty of these he named the Party of Opposition and had his Prime Minister carefully instruct them in their duty of opposing every royal measure. Nevertheless, the first one that was submitted passed unanimously. Greatly displeased, the King vetoed it, informing the Opposition that if they did that again they would pay for their obstinacy with their heads. The entire forty promptly disemboweled themselves.

"What shall we do now?" the King asked. "Liberal institutions cannot be maintained without a party of Opposition."

"Splendor of the universe," replied the Prime Minister, "it is true these dogs of darkness have no longer their credentials, but all is not lost. Leave the matter to this worm of the dust."

So the Minister had the bodies of his Majesty's Opposition embalmed and stuffed with straw, put back into the seats of power and nailed there. Forty votes were recorded against every bill and the nation prospered. But one day a bill imposing a tax on warts was defeated — the members of the Government party had not been nailed to their seats! This so enraged the King that the Prime Minister was put to death, the parliament was dissolved with a battery of artillery, and government of the people, by the people, for the people perished from Ghargaroo.

(1819 – 1868) American dentist who pioneered the use of anaesthetic.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: william t.g. morton quotes)

political advocacy for the rights of men that can disguise itself as a parody when threatened.

When people know you are far too clever to give a simple answer but they don't know you are far too lazy to come up with something epic so you land in a neutral answer to confuse the hell out of people.