trial

the devils dictionary
A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors. In order to effect this purpose it is necessary to supply a contrast in the person of one who is called the defendant, the prisoner or the accused. If the contrast is made sufficiently clear this person is made to undergo such an affliction as will give the virtuous gentlemen a comfortable sense of their immunity, added to that of their worth. In our day the accused is usually a human being, or a socialist, but in mediæval times, animals, fishes, reptiles and insects were brought to trial. A beast that had taken human life, or practiced sorcery, was duly arrested, tried and, if condemned, put to death by the public executioner. Insects ravaging grain fields, orchards or vineyards were cited to appeal by counsel before a civil tribunal, and after testimony, argument and condemnation, if they continued in contumaciam the matter was taken to a high ecclesiastical court, where they were solemnly excommunicated and anathematized. In a street of Toledo, some pigs that had wickedly run between the viceroy's legs, upsetting him, were arrested on a warrant, tried and punished. In Naples an ass was condemned to be burned at the stake, but the sentence appears not to have been executed. D'Addosio relates from the court records many trials of pigs, bulls, horses, cocks, dogs, goats, etc., greatly, it is believed, to the betterment of their conduct and morals. In 1451 a suit was brought against the leeches infesting some ponds about Berne, and the Bishop of Lausanne, instructed by the faculty of Heidelberg University, directed that some of "the aquatic worms" be brought before the local magistracy. This was done and the leeches, both present and absent, were ordered to leave the places that they had infested within three days on pain of incurring "the malediction of God." In the voluminous records of this cause célèbre nothing is found to show whether the offenders braved the punishment, or departed forthwith out of that inhospitable jurisdiction.
(also: judge)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

bee

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the quintessential hymenopteran insect, the most recognizable variety of bee is a small bombinating ball of fuzz colored in yellow and black. the bee is known for its diligence, its ecological value as a pollinator, its utility to humans as a producer of honey, wax, and other products, and its use of kamikaze tactics when threatened.

if you think we can get by without these fellas then you must bee crazy

4-letter acronym

orikami
(n.) ain't it the most common kind?

rsvp, répondez s'il vous plaît
asap, as soon as possible
lmao, laughing my ass off
rofl, rolling on the floor laughing
wdym, what do you mean
fwiw, for what it's worth
iirc, if I recall correctly
imho, in my honest/ humble opinion
ttyl, talk to you later
tyvm, thank you very much
tgif, thank god it's friday
byob, bring your own beer/ bottle
nsfw, not safe for work
acab, all cops are bastards
awol, absent without leave
ymmv, your mileage may vary

http, hyper-text transfer protocol
fifo, first in, first out
adhd, hyperactivity disorder
mdma, 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine
nasa, National Aeronautics and Space Administration
ussr, union of soviet state republic

frankenstein

trustycoffeemug
an 1881 novel written by mary shelley. arguably one of the earliest known works of science fiction and the origin point for one of fiction's greatest monsters, nobody has read it, because there's a more popular movie.

the plot concerns an obsessive doctor who believes he can synthesize his own life form, but upon doing so, he fails to raise it properly, leading to a very bad wedding, an expedition to the north pole, and many ponderous philosophical arguments.

differences from the source material: in the book, the monster was motivated by revenge outright, and was pretty chatty. since the 1931 movie, people have thought of frankenstein's monster as a voiceless, child-brained hulk who doesn't fully realize the consequences of his own actions.

to be absolutely clear, the monster is not named frankenstein. the monster is never given a name. but we can call him dave, if you like. in any case he is widely acknowledged as one of the all-time groovy ghoulies, like dracula and the wolf man

football

trustycoffeemug
(american) an american variation of football, refined to have even more complicated rules so that the on-field action becomes even more slow and excruciating. while nobody in recorded history actually knows how this game is played, and americans are too embarrassed to admit it, it seems to involve large men trying to dogpile each other while a pig's bladder is thrown out of bounds.

batman

respect me
A man with parents issues,he wonder around his city(also known as gotham city)punching people with a mental ilnesd,wearing a furry suit in the shape of a bat.

scrap-book

the devils dictionary
A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect. One of these egotists was addressed in the lines following, by Agamemnon Melancthon Peters:

Dear Frank, that scrap-book where you boast
You keep a record true
Of every kind of peppered roast
That's made of you;

Wherein you paste the printed gibes
That revel round your name,
Thinking the laughter of the scribes
Attests your fame;

Where all the pictures you arrange
That comic pencils trace —
Your funny figure and your strange
Semitic face —

Pray lend it me. Wit I have not,
Nor art, but there I'll list
The daily drubbings you'd have got
Had God a fist.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

sigmund freud

mirat
(noun): The OG mind explorer, Austrian bloke who got a kick out of diving into the depths of human weirdness. Known for his wild ideas about Oedipal complexes and dream meanings, he was always down for a psychological deep dive. Just don't invite him to your party, he's a buzzkill.

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