magdalene

the devils dictionary
An inhabitant of Magdala. Popularly, a woman found out. This definition of the word has the authority of ignorance, Mary of Magdala being another person than the penitent woman mentioned by St. Luke. It has also the official sanction of the governments of Great Britain and the United States. In England the word is pronounced Maudlin, whence maudlin, adjective, unpleasantly sentimental. With their Maudlin for Magdalene, and their Bedlam for Bethlehem, the English may justly boast themselves the greatest of revisers.

money

trustycoffeemug
(n.) see currency, medium of exchange, storehouse of value, moolah, simoleons, shekels, dinero, cash. something designated as having value equivalent to a certain amount of goods or services; this designated value is considered one of the lies that forms a central pillar of civilization.

free time

kivi
A period of leisure, which, when looked at closely, often consists of aimlessly scrolling through social media feeds and refreshing emails, interspersed with fleeting moments of productivity that are quickly overshadowed by feelings of guilt and self-doubt.

It is a peculiar phenomenon that one can simultaneously feel both bored and overwhelmed during free time, as if the endless possibilities of what to do next are both too many and too mundane.

leviathan

the devils dictionary
n. An enormous aquatic animal mentioned by Job. Some suppose it to have been the whale, but that distinguished ichthyologer, Dr. Jordan, of Stanford University, maintains with considerable heat that it was a species of gigantic Tadpole (Thaddeus Polandensis) or Polliwig — Maria pseudo-hirsuta. For an exhaustive description and history of the Tadpole consult the famous monograph of Jane Porter, Thaddeus of Warsaw.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

creeper

thepoetziggy
individuals who make others uncomfortable, and exude predatory intent, which they spend a great deal of time insisting to their targets aren't bad intentions, at all. Honestly.

Subtypes of creepers range from simply staring at you in a retail store, to running up to you and self-destructing, violently.

(also: Minecraft)

repentance

the devils dictionary
The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.

Desirous to avoid the pains of Hell,
You will repent and join the Church, Parnell?
How needless! — Nick will keep you off the coals
And add you to the woes of other souls.
—Jomater Abemy
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

lol

kivi
(noun): The digital equivalent of a laughing gas, causing uncontrollable bursts of mirth and occasional snort-like sounds. Used liberally to express amusement, even when a mere exhale would suffice. Side effects may include loss of productivity, a decrease in actual audible laughter, and a heightened sense of internet absurdity.

ghost

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the supposed incorporeal remnant of a dead person; although their existence is not scientifically verified, pursuit of them remains of interest to crazy people and meddling kids with talking dogs

(v.) to employ a cunning tactic of ceasing communication with someone so that they will forget your existence

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