(v.) to borrow an item with full intent to apologize to the owner if/when caught

(also: theft)

n. Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

(also: longanimity)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

thing you should do but don't.

(also: panic)

(n.) the haunting knowledge that one has done something wrong despite their better judgment; generally a deterrent against future wrongdoing until the individual forgets about it

(also: shame)

the period of time between your birth and your death.

(n.) untrue things said for the sake of deception or convenience

(also: liar)

(american) an american variation of football, refined to have even more complicated rules so that the on-field action becomes even more slow and excruciating. while nobody in recorded history actually knows how this game is played, and americans are too embarrassed to admit it, it seems to involve large men trying to dogpile each other while a pig's bladder is thrown out of bounds.

(n.) a contradiction that, once really accepted and explored and understood, reveals a deeper truth. but, as they say, it's turtles all the way down, so don't get cocky now. your deeper truth probably (99.9999% of the time) leans on an even deeper truth.

(also: koan)
(also: thesis-antithesis-synthesis)
(also: turtles all the way down)

An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.

(n.) music for those gun-toting, pickup-driving, living-amidst-the-mud-and-sticks types

A liar in the caterpillar state.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Benefactor; philanthropist.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) things you don't notice until someone else starts using them! (eg. mini)

(also: categories)
(also: hashtags)

A symbol of sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven. Even the great and good Andrew Carnegie has made his profession of faith in the matter.

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Carnegie the dauntless has uttered his call
To battle: "The brokers are parasites all!"
Carnegie, Carnegie, you'll never prevail;
Keep the wind of your slogan to belly your sail,
Go back to your isle of perpetual brume,
Silence your pibroch, doff tartan and plume:
Ben Lomond is calling his son from the fray —
Fly, fly from the region of Wall Street away!
While still you're possessed of a single baubee
(I wish it were pledged to endowment of me)
'Twere wise to retreat from the wars of finance
Lest its value decline ere your credit advance.
For a man 'twixt a king of finance and the sea,
Carnegie, Carnegie, your tongue is too free!
—Anonymus Bink
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A gift from one who is legging it out of this vale of tears.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.”
― John Lennon
(author: John Lennon)

The final arbiter in international disputes. Formerly these disputes were settled by physical contact of the disputants, with such simple arguments as the rudimentary logic of the times could supply — the sword, the spear and so forth. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous. Its capital defect is that it requires personal attendance at the point of propulsion.

(1460s –1524) Portuguese explorer, first European to reach India and establish a route for imperialism.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: vasco da gama quotes)

has you

(also: parenting)

v.t.
1. To correct an erring friend or admonish a needy one. Of women the word abandoned is used in the sense of indiscreet.
2. To confer the advantage of being rid of you. To recant

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Thank heaven, I have abandoned the follies of youth for those of age.
—Chauncey Depew


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)