n. A follower of Joseph Smith, who received from an angel a revelation inscribed on brass plates and afterward revised and enlarged by his successor in the prophethood. While still an inoffensive people the Mormons were bitterly persecuted, their prophet assassinated, their homes burned and themselves driven into the desert, where they prospered, practiced polygamy and themselves took a hand in the game of persecution.
They say the Mormons are liars. They say that Joseph Smith did not receive from the hands of an angel the written revelation that we obey. Let them prove it!
—Brigham Young, Prophet and Logician.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Size. Magnitude being purely relative, nothing is large and nothing small. If everything in the universe were increased in bulk one thousand diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remained unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been. To an understanding familiar with the relativity of magnitude and distance the spaces and masses of the astronomer would be no more impressive than those of the microscopist. For anything we know to the contrary, the visible universe may be a small part of an atom, with its component ions, floating in the life-fluid (luminiferous ether) of some animal. Possibly the wee creatures peopling the corpuscles of our own blood are overcome with the proper emotion when contemplating the unthinkable distance from one of these to another.

Helping you with historical methods and solving problems that are useless

(n.) the keratinous digital pads on the plantar surface of a cat's foot, so designated due to their ovular shape and squishy texture

how sickeningly saccharine

(noun):
A mythological figure in spandex, armed with superpowers and a wardrobe that defies practicality. They battle villains, save the day, and occasionally face existential crises about their secret identities.

(also: superhero)
(also: american art of saving the day)

a nation invented in 1871
(also: Prussia)

(n.) one who's for hire by anyone with cold hard cash, especially a soldier

(adj.) describing one who's in it for the cold hard cash

(also: privateer)

Funny skeleton man from undertale

A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a newspaper or magazine. Frequently appended to each instalment is a "synopsis of preceding chapters" for those who have not read them, but a direr need is a synopsis of succeeding chapters for those who do not intend to read them. A synopsis of the entire work would be still better.
The late James F. Bowman was writing a serial tale for a weekly paper in collaboration with a genius whose name has not come down to us. They wrote, not jointly but alternately, Bowman supplying the instalment for one week, his friend for the next, and so on, world without end, they hoped. Unfortunately they quarreled, and one Monday morning when Bowman read the paper to prepare himself for his task, he found his work cut out for him in a way to surprise and pain him. His collaborator had embarked every character of the narrative on a ship and sunk them all in the deepest part of the Atlantic.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the United States Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House; in the House of Representatives, of the Speaker and the devil.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Fun fact: italians are either the best people ever, or racists

source: i'm italian

a state of society or communal existence where everything is immaculate and perfect. It still wouldn't be good enough for you though, would it?

the bit of eastern europe that is least likely to be confused for russia. known today for being that place dracula and crappy cars come from

A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.

Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion.
(also: reason)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a ferocious little animal hailing from australia. it may have the power to spin around really fast and make disgusting gurgling/snarling noises. it may not. let's just say it does.

A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.

(n.) also called the bush baby and the night monkey, a small, nocturnal, arboreal creature from africa, known for its large ears and big sad eyes that would, on consideration, probably be horrifying if you saw them starting at you in the dead of night.

somewhat resemble a more athletic tarsier, and as a relative of the loris and lemur, a distant cousin of humanity much like the hobbit.

Self imposed torture to gain more knowledge in an area just to fail miserably the very next day on the test

marcus antonious (83-30 BC) is a dead roman guy.

once a sidekick to julius caesar, whom he served faithfully as a general but also humiliated a few times by routinely turning up to the senate pig-bastard drunk (this got him into a pissing match with cicero).

when julius kicked the bucket, marc took over as big cheese and set to work thrashing his old master's assassins. however, he was beaten to the punch by augustus caesar, the adopted son of the late caesar, who managed to take control of rome while marcy went skulking around the eastern world looking for allies. this led marc antony to shack up with cleopatra vii, with whom he had a torrid love affair. this sordid romance came to an end when marc antony's armies were well and truly smashed in actium, and he committed suicide to escape octavian's reprisal.

a dead british guy named william shakespeare wrote a little ditty about it.