amber heard

tm29
A vindictive sociopath, who will manipulate, abuse, discard and then exploit anyone who serves some sort of purpose to further her motives, without having any regrets while doing so.

sarcasm

orikami
(n.) remarks stemming from a lack of trust or faith (in the statement, person, group or existence in general), thereby using humour and disbelief as protection.

blacklight

boo
blækˌlaɪt/ (n.):
A type of ultraviolet lamp that makes certain substances fluoresce. Often used to uncover the evidence of a dog's indiscretions around the house, or to highlight the bodily fluids and questionable stains from a wild night of partying.

(also: party)

doctors

douglas adams
The major problem with the medical profession in the most advanced sectors of the galaxy had to tackle after cures had been found for all major diseases, and instant repair systems had been found for all physical injuries and disablements except some of the more advanced forms of death, was that of employment.

Planets full of bronzed healthy clean limbed individuals merrily prancing through their lives meant that the only doctors still in business were the psychiatrists, simply because no one had discovered a cure for the Universe as a whole -- or rather the only one that did exist had been abolished by the medical doctors.

Then it was noticed that like most forms of medical treatment, total cures had a lot of unpleasant side effects. Boredom, listlessness, lack of... well anything very much, and with these conditions came the realization that nothing turned, say, a slightly talented musician into a towering genius faster than the problem of encroaching deafness, and nothing turned a perfectly healthy individual into a great politician or military leader better than irreversible brain damage.

Suddenly, everything changed. Previous best selling books such as How I Survived an Hour with a Sprained Finger were swept away in a flood of titles such as How I Scaled the North Face of the Megapurna with a Perfectly Healthy Finger But Everything Else Sprained, Broken or Bitten Off By a Pack of Mad Yaks.

And so doctors were back in business recreating all the diseases and injuries they had abolished in popular easy to use forms. Thus, given the right and instantly available types of disability even something as simple as turning of the 3-D TV could become a major chanllenge, and when all the programmes on all the channels actually were made by actors with cleft pallettes speaking lines by dyslexic writers filmed by blind cameramen instead of merely seeming like that, it somehow made the whole thing more worthwhile.

wizard

trustycoffeemug
(n.) an elderly man in a pointy hat and robe with star patterns on it. one must hope they also have magical abilities to accompany this garb, or else they'll simply be a very sad and badly-dressed man.

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