a Herculean task that requires the strength of a thousand warriors and the willpower of a saint.

one who is having a bad time, forcing you to sympathize

A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women. As in Rome Christians were thrown to the lions, so centuries earlier in Otumwee, the most ancient and famous city of the world, female heretics were thrown to the mice. Jakak-Zotp, the historian, the only Otumwump whose writings have descended to us, says that these martyrs met their death with little dignity and much exertion. He even attempts to exculpate the mice (such is the malice of bigotry) by declaring that the unfortunate women perished, some from exhaustion, some of broken necks from falling over their own feet and some from lack of restoratives. The (also: mice), he avers, enjoyed the pleasures of the chase with composure. But if "Roman history is nine-tenths lying," we can hardly expect a smaller proportion of that rhetorical figure in the annals of a people capable of so incredible cruelty to lovely woman; for a hard heart has a false tongue.

(also: mice)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

britain's version of the deep south, located inconveniently in the north

known for its kilts, heather, bagpipes, fried things, beards, and jabbering. while england is represented by the lion, scotland is (less commonly) associated with the unicorn, and, like the unicorn, scotsmen look like a bunch of sissy girly skirt-wearers until they gore you in the stomach

The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending and descending.

An ugly and repulsive old woman, in a wicked league with the devil.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.”
― E.M. Forster

someone better than you, but you're not resorting to accusing them of cheating, only of making an effort.

The macabre altar used by capable comedians of all sort to display their priestly talent for reciting masses. The beneficiaries pay nothing less than 100% humiliation.

(n.) 1) a word that censors will not allow you to say through a public medium. 2) supposedly a supernatural affliction that brings misfortune, often as punishment for wronging some supernatural entity. possibly what censors think they're protecting you from, though who knows.

n. In American society, an English tourist above the state of a costermonger, as, lord 'Aberdasher, Lord Hartisan and so forth. The traveling Briton of lesser degree is addressed as "Sir," as, Sir 'Arry Donkiboi, of 'Amstead 'Eath. The word "Lord" is sometimes used, also, as a title of the Supreme Being; but this is thought to be rather flattery than true reverence.
Miss Sallie Ann Splurge, of her own accord,

---

Wedded a wandering English lord—
Wedded and took him to dwell with her "paw,"
A parent who throve by the practice of Draw.
Lord Cadde I don't hesitate here to declare
Unworthy the father-in-legal care
Of that elderly sport, notwithstanding the truth
That Cadde had renounced all the follies of youth;
For, sad to relate, he'd arrived at the stage
Of existence that's marked by the vices of age.
Among them, cupidity caused him to urge
Repeated demands on the pocket of Splurge,
Till, wrecked in his fortune, that gentleman saw
Inadequate aid in the practice of Draw,
And took, as a means of augmenting his pelf,
To the business of being a lord himself.
His neat-fitting garments he wilfully shed
And sacked himself strangely in checks instead;
Denuded his chin, but retained at each ear
A whisker that looked like a blasted career.
He painted his neck an incarnadine hue
Each morning and varnished it all that he knew.
The moony monocular set in his eye
Appeared to be scanning the Sweet Bye-and-Bye.
His head was enroofed with a billycock hat,
And his low-necked shoes were aduncous and flat.
In speech he eschewed his American ways,
Denying his nose to the use of his A's
And dulling their edge till the delicate sense
Of a babe at their temper could take no offence.
His H's—'twas most inexpressibly sweet,
The patter they made as they fell at his feet!
Re-outfitted thus, Mr. Splurge without fear
Began as Lord Splurge his recouping career.
Alas, the Divinity shaping his end
Entertained other views and decided to send
His lordship in horror, despair and dismay
From the land of the nobleman's natural prey.
For, smit with his Old World ways, Lady Cadde
Fell—suffering Cæsar!—in love with her dad!
—G.J.
(also: royalty)
(also: loyalty)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) an expression meaning something is straightforward, obvious; not complicated or obscure.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ExactlywhatItSaysOnTheTin

aeschylus (525-465 BC) was a playwright of ancient athens, perhaps best known for his oresteia trilogy ('agamemnon,' 'the libation bearers,' and 'the eumenides'), which is about a family caught in a bloody and endless cycle of revenge, as well as 'seven against thebes,' which is about some motherlover who tries to enjoy retirement but is repeatedly interrupted by his awful sons.

aeschylus was also an initiate into the cult of the eleusinian mysteries, joining cults being all the rage at that time.

aeschylus reportedly died when a hawk tried to smash a turtle open on the playwright's bald head, which the hawk had mistaken for a rock. this bizarre vagary of fate reminds us that one man's tragedy is always another man's comedy.

Social media is a platforn where you can communicate with people online in different ways like pictures, text, videos,calls and videocalls.

Cock and Ball torture, a sexual activity involving torture of the male's genitals

This can include: Wax Play, Genital Spanking, Squeezing, Ball Busting, Genital Flogging, Genital Flogging, Urethral Playing, Tickle Torture, Erotic electrostimulation, and Kicking.

(noun) The linguistic labyrinth where words don disguises as either the protagonists (nouns) or the action heroes (verbs) of sentences. Nouns, like steady sentinels, name people, places, or things, while verbs, the dynamic darlings, express actions, states, or occurrences. In this grammatical guessing game, identifying the noun-verb duo becomes a thrilling mental marathon, where triumph awaits those who conquer language's dual nature.

Teaching Tip: Make noun and verb identification engaging by using interactive games or activities. Provide sentences or short passages and have students identify the nouns and verbs within them. You can also create a fun classroom challenge where students compete to identify the most nouns and verbs in a given time frame, making learning both enjoyable and educational.

There are only two tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want, the other is getting it.
(also: life)
(also: getting what you want)

being a bystander, i.e. being an aggressor

marcus antonious (83-30 BC) is a dead roman guy.

once a sidekick to julius caesar, whom he served faithfully as a general but also humiliated a few times by routinely turning up to the senate pig-bastard drunk (this got him into a pissing match with cicero).

when julius kicked the bucket, marc took over as big cheese and set to work thrashing his old master's assassins. however, he was beaten to the punch by augustus caesar, the adopted son of the late caesar, who managed to take control of rome while marcy went skulking around the eastern world looking for allies. this led marc antony to shack up with cleopatra vii, with whom he had a torrid love affair. this sordid romance came to an end when marc antony's armies were well and truly smashed in actium, and he committed suicide to escape octavian's reprisal.

a dead british guy named william shakespeare wrote a little ditty about it.