optimist

the devils dictionary
A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
A pessimist applied to God for relief.

"Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness," said God. "No," replied the petitioner, "I wish you to create something that would justify them."

"The world is all created," said God, "but you have overlooked something — the mortality of the optimist."

my dog ate my homework

snape
(phrase) The classic alibi for students lacking completed assignments. An ancient excuse passed down through generations, invoking the mystical power of mischievous canines. Often accompanied by exaggerated tales of voracious paper consumption. A reliable source of amusement for teachers and a desperate plea for leniency, met with skeptical eyes and collective eye rolls.


(also: I forgot to do the assignment)
(also: My computer crashed and I lost all my work)

otaku

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a variety of nerd found in japan, exhibiting most of the classical nerd characteristics including aversion to social situations not carried out through the comforting barrier of a computer screen and pop culture jargon

sandlotter

the devils dictionary
A vertebrate mammal holding the political views of Denis Kearney, a notorious demagogue of San Francisco, whose audiences gathered in the open spaces (sandlots) of the town. True to the traditions of his species, this leader of the proletariat was finally bought off by his law-and-order enemies, living prosperously silent and dying impenitently rich. But before his treason he imposed upon California a constitution that was a confection of sin in a diction of solecisms. The similarity between the words "sandlotter" and "sansculotte" is problematically significant, but indubitably suggestive.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

real life

douglas adams
It is often said that a disproportionate obsession with purely academic or abstract matters indicates a retreat from the problems of real life.(also: life)

However, most of the people engaged in such matters say that this attitude is based on three things: ignorance, stupidity and nothing else.(also: stupid)

Philosophers for example argue that they are very much concerned with the problems posed by "real life": like for instance "What do we mean by real?" and "How can we reach an empirical definition of life?" and so on.

One definition of life, albeit not a particularly useful one, might run something like this:

Life is like a grapefruit: It's sort of orangy-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half of one for breakfast. (also: breakfast)

One of the extraordinary things about life is the sort of places it's prepared to put up with living. Anywhere it can get some sort of grip, whether it's the intoxicating seas of Santraginus V where the fish never seem to care whatever the heck kind of direction they swim in, the fire storms of Frastra, where, they say, life begins at 40,000 degrees, or just burrowing around in the lower intestine of a rat for the sheer unadulterated hell of it, life will always find a way of hanging on in somewhere.

family

victor von lichtenstein
N. A group that shares similar genetic material via sexual reproduction. With the parental beings usually (except in Alabama) originating from different familial units
(also: alabama)
(also: problem of alabama)
(also: family bussinesses in alabama)

2. N. In case the first definition is full of crazy, hateful, or downright evil people and one gets disowned (whether by choice or not) the discarded individual will usually seek to build their own more perfect version by choosing different people/things/animals to surround themselves with.

hayride

jason
sitting on a moving truck-car on a seat covered with hay not because you enjoy it but because you're not going to let fall pass by without once sitting on a moving truck-car on a seat covered with hay

small dog

orikami
(n.) a specimen of utter dependency and helplessness. often equipped with such sad eyes and default facial expressions.
perhaps the sadness of the toys they have access to playing with -- the supposed, pale mimicry of real prey -- is too much for them to bear.

instagram model

kivi
(Noun) A person who has mastered the art of taking photos of themselves in awkward poses and unattainable locations. Often known for their surgically-enhanced assets and the ability to promote teeth whitening products while holding a detox tea in one hand. While they may appear to have it all, their constant need for attention and validation from strangers on the internet is truly sad. And let's be real, how many times can one person post the same bikini photo before it starts to get boring?

(also: activities in dubai for tired people)
(also: dubai)
(also: economy of dubai)
(also: united arab emirates)
(also: dubai for starters)

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