rumor

the devils dictionary
A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.

Sharp, irresistible by mail or shield,
By guard unparried as by flight unstayed,
O serviceable Rumor, let me wield
Against my enemy no other blade.
His be the terror of a foe unseen,
His the inutile hand upon the hilt,
And mine the deadly tongue, long, slender, keen,
Hinting a rumor of some ancient guilt.
So shall I slay the wretch without a blow,
Spare me to celebrate his overthrow,
And nurse my valor for another foe.
—Joel Buxter
(also: humor)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

original

orikami
(adj.) coming from the origin, and remaining connected to it; perhaps transformed, but never warped nor mutilated.
many people of the modern first world live their lives carrying (and burdened by) the mistaken idea that to be original means something has to be new: artists. teenagers. but that's simply not what original means, in its true spirit!
and I do say burdened because it can weigh heavy if you want to be original and leave an original legacy. and it will feel like an impossible task.
release that ego weight.

original

it's about being true, not about being new.

(also: nothing new under the sun)
(also: a little love is not so bad)

spouse

trustycoffeemug
(n.) person you live with who refuses to admit that they snore and never seems to know what they want for dinner.

the final evolved-form of a boyfriend or girlfriend (or less gender-specific significant other); often distinguishable from the early forms by the additional 25-30 pounds.

fetish

trustycoffeemug
(n.) an obsession of a sexual nature; one of the major drivers of activity on the internet. because of the diverse array of refined perversions that afflict humanity, virtually everything is someone's fetish: a certain body part, a certain article of clothing, a cartoon character, the inversion of traditional gender roles, one's ethnicity and cultural heritage, good dental hygiene, bad dental hygiene, smearing condiments all over yourself, dressing up as an animal and pretending to maul one's partner, actually letting one's partner be mauled by animals, etc.

the word 'fetish' has also been used as a synonym idol (i.e., a physical object of religious reverence), but this usage has mostly been phased out in favor of the aforementioned perversion.

mummy

the devils dictionary
n. An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as medicine, and now engaged in supplying art with an excellent pigment. He is handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.

By means of the Mummy, mankind, it is said,
Attests to the gods its respect for the dead.
We plunder his tomb, be he sinner or saint,
Distil him for physic and grind him for paint,
Exhibit for money his poor, shrunken frame,
And with levity flock to the scene of the shame.
O, tell me, ye gods, for the use of my rhyme:
For respecting the dead what's the limit of time?
—Scopas Brune

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

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