Outdoor eating event and memory challenge. You always forget something.

(also: picnic checklist)

(n.) a party that celebrates surviving one year past a certain event. if the event is a birth it's called a birthday

(n.) a razor-sharp grin attached to a large fish, with a dorsal fin to give fair warning

a crueler, land-based form of the animal prefers to swindle rather than outright eat its prey

The Period of Possibility, when Archimedes finds a fulcrum, Cassandra has a following and seven cities compete for the honor of endowing a living Homer.[hr
Youth is the true Saturnian Reign, the Golden Age on ea]th again, when figs are grown on thistles, and pigs betailed with whistles and, wearing silken bristles, live ever in clover, and cows fly over, delivering milk at every door, and Justice never is heard to snore, and every assassin is made a ghost and, howling, is cast into Baltimost!
—Polydore Smith
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in dissuading from dissent.

v.t. To rebuke with stones. St. Stephen, for example, was lapidated like a Chinaman.

---

Lamented St. Steve,
What Christian can grieve
For the way that you came to your death?
For the monument fair
Of memorial stones
Was reared in the air
O'er your honored bones
Ere yet you'd relinquished your breath.
No doubt as your soul exhaled
You were thanked by resolution;
For the builders' design had failed
Except for your execution.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

one of the baltic nations alongside latvia and lithuania. came out of nowhere in the foggy annals of history when those uncouth crusaders from prussia decided to attack it. after that it spent a lot of time getting roughed up by prussians, nazis, and soviets, and now presumably wishes it could go back to obscurity

The least hateful form of dejection.
(also: please)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the buffone, or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape; for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of the play. The zany was progenitor to the specialist in humor, as we to-day have the unhappiness to know him. In the zany we see an example of creation; in the humorist, of transmission. Another excellent specimen of the modern zany is the curate, who apes the rector, who apes the bishop, who apes the archbishop, who apes the devil.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the art of killing important people so as to prevent them from doing important things. assassinations are events of massive historical significance and have caused such tragedies as wars, revolutions, and walter cronkite tearing up during a public news broadcast.

a very unpopular charlie chaplin-lookalike

one whose spending is not thrifty

In race & racism, orientalism is the idea that western society is the "occident", and all other cultures and countries are "Orient". Orient didn't just mean asian, it mean middle eastern, indian, etc. Basically Europe seeing itself as the center of the universe and that all other cultures are "exotic".

This concept is problematic because it encourages othering and sets western culture as the "norm".

“A man with outward courage dares to die; a man with inner courage dares to live.”
― Lao Tzu
(also: Lao Tzu)

n. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it. An evidence of culture and a passport to polite society. Supportable property.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Helping you with historical methods and solving problems that are useless

archimedes of syracuse (287-212 BC) was perhaps the greatest mathematical mind of his day. a student of the mouseion of alexandria, archimedes returned to his home city of syracuse to become an inventor of great renown.

he is reputed to be the originator of the theory of fluid displacement (and, related, an early critic of your primitive notions of modesty), a quick and consistent calculation method for the volume of a sphere, the archimedes screw (not a sex act, a means of pumping water), and possibly even a death ray he used on roman invaders.

in 212 BC archimedes was supposedly killed by a roman legionary who had been instructed to find the great mathematician and bring him before his commander, marcellus. while this legionary looked for his quarry, he stumbled upon a scruffy old man drawing circles in the sand; the old man snapped at the legionary not to scuff his circles, and was killed for his impertinence. naturally the old man turned out to have been archimedes. heh. cosmic irony.

(n.) like flavor, but for your eyes

(n.) uh... I think it has something to do with electricity, and old-timey TV's maybe.

it does sound delicious though.