success

the devils dictionary
The one unpardonable sin against one's fellows. In literature, and particularly in poetry, the elements of success are exceedingly simple, and are admirably set forth in the following lines by the reverend Father Gassalasca Jape, entitled, for some mysterious reason, "John A. Joyce."

The bard who would prosper must carry a book,
Do his thinking in prose and wear
A crimson cravat, a far-away look
And a head of hexameter hair.
Be thin in your thought and your body'll be fat;
If you wear your hair long you needn't your hat.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

dinner

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the evening meal in most cultures, often a social occasion for members of a family to exchange bland pleasantries and cram down the day's anxieties and frustrations

painting

the devils dictionary
The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
Formerly, painting and sculpture were combined in the same work: the ancients painted their statues. The only present alliance between the two arts is that the modern painter chisels his patrons.
(also: art)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

earth

asearchforyou
A planet in the Milky Way galaxy. It is the home of unique organizations of energy dependent cells that like to reproduce themselves exponentially through both sexual and asexual reproduction. Many such "organisms" consist of a mouth, an anus, and a stomach system. Other features are numerous and diverse, but all help these animated conglomerations of material in their never ending quest to unsustainably gobble energy-latent objects in their environment while producing an iterated and highly-particular stream of waste products. The planet is named after the original creatures with this body plan, the worm.

bill nye day

birdbabe
Bill Nye Day (n.) a kind of day when you don't feel like doing your job. When you walk into the classroom and the TV is in the room and lights are off, you know it's going to be a bill nye day. Bill Nye is a kid's show scientist, which many only watched in school on these kind of days.

inflation

kivi
(noun): The ultimate magic trick, where prices rise, and your money vanishes, and nobody knows where it went. The government and the wealthy know the secret, but they ain't telling. Inflation, the ultimate way to redistribute wealth, and make the poor, poorer and the rich, richer, all while making the masses believe it's just a natural occurrence.

lithuania

trustycoffeemug
one of the baltic nations alongside latvia and lithuania. came out of nowhere in the foggy annals of history when those uncouth crusaders from prussia decided to attack it. after that it spent a lot of time getting roughed up by prussians, nazis, and soviets, and now presumably wishes it could go back to obscurity

difficult

orikami
(n.) the cult of diffi. it's super hush-hush, I wouldn't expect anyone to have heard of it.
(adj.) a person who cannot get along with the common social norms (hence, the need to join a cult or become a hermit).

(also: cult)

sabbath

the devils dictionary
A weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh. Among the Jews observance of the day was enforced by a Commandment of which this is the Christian version: "Remember the seventh day to make thy neighbor keep it wholly." To the Creator it seemed fit and expedient that the Sabbath should be the last day of the week, but the Early Fathers of the Church held other views. So great is the sanctity of the day that even where the Lord holds a doubtful and precarious jurisdiction over those who go down to (and down into) the sea it is reverently recognized, as is manifest in the following deep-water version of the Fourth Commandment:

Six days shalt thou labor and do all thou art able,
And on the seventh holystone the deck and scrape the cable.

Decks are no longer holystoned, but the cable still supplies the captain with opportunity to attest a pious respect for the divine ordinance.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

sign-up or face the consequences!


“"observers" must obey the call.”
join

sign up