so undeniably true that you cannot possibly take the risk that you might accidentally show it false

the most pointless crime, because everybody knows mass cannot be truly destroyed (or created)

to stand on one's knees, shins, and hyperextended toes

Teeth sharpener!

In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. An American sovereign in his probationary state.



(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.
(also: the fool)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles and the like. The first of these rights was once universally believed to be derived directly from the will of God; and this is still sometimes affirmed in partibus infidelium outside the enlightened realms of Democracy; as in the well-known lines of Sir Abednego Bink, following:

---

By what right, then, do royal rulers rule?
Whose is the sanction of their state and pow'r?
He surely were as stubborn as a mule
Who, God unwilling, could maintain an hour
His uninvited session on the throne, or air
His pride securely in the Presidential chair.

Whatever is is so by Right Divine;
Whate'er occurs, God wills it so. Good land!
It were a wondrous thing if His design
A fool could baffle or a rogue withstand!
If so, then God, I say (intending no offence)
Is guilty of contributory negligence.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a spotter's guide to clowns. Remember to exercise discretion when approaching.

Order: Clownidae
* Family Stanczykae (medieval jesters and harlequins)
* Family Commediae
** Genus Marceau (mimes and other street performers)
**Genus Emmitkellidae (classic clowns, birthday clowns, sad clowns, punch and judy puppets
*** Subgenus Vaudevillae (the Three Stooges, Charlie Chaplin, the Marx Brothers)
*** Subgenus Nightmaridae (scary clowns)
*** Subgenus Clussi (sexy clowns)

A vindictive sociopath, who will manipulate, abuse, discard and then exploit anyone who serves some sort of purpose to further her motives, without having any regrets while doing so.

An Italian food made in the form of a slender, hollow tube. It consists of two parts — the tubing and the hole, the latter being the part that digests.

(adj.) a symbolic way to represent the many functions and capabilities of an entity, especially the infinite nature of the divine.







(also: gods and goddesses)
(also: kitsune)
(also: be not afraid)

when someone cancels plans you've made together and you realize you now have some free time to yourself.

(also: introvert)

One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
(also: war)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) an unplaceable sense of discomfort, illness, or infirmity, not to be confused with mayonnaise (though both should be avoided)

(354 – 430) Influential Christian saint and writer, who shaped much of Western Christian thought.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: st. augustine quotes)

(n.) a large feline predator of africa (formerly of other places), whose men wear wigs while the women go crew-cut

"it matters little: very little love is not so bad, or very little life" -bukowski

n. An enormous aquatic animal mentioned by Job. Some suppose it to have been the whale, but that distinguished ichthyologer, Dr. Jordan, of Stanford University, maintains with considerable heat that it was a species of gigantic Tadpole (Thaddeus Polandensis) or Polliwig — Maria pseudo-hirsuta. For an exhaustive description and history of the Tadpole consult the famous monograph of Jane Porter, Thaddeus of Warsaw.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a pancake covered in square braille indents for people with blind tongues