(noun):
The mind's ability to take a step back and observe itself, resulting in a profound realization that you are, in fact, stuck inside your own head. It's like discovering an inner narrator who constantly comments on your thoughts, actions, and embarrassing moments.

(also: Realizing you're stuck)

Sea hoes is a word used to describe mermaids. They use their songs to lure people in. Because they want all that attention, they can be called sea hoes, rather than mermaids.

Example:

Dood1: Bro we're gonna get all the sea hoes

Dood2: yeah and we're gonna give them crabs

1st meal of the day... Unless you have a pre-breakfast snack!

(also: bacon)

(n.) the joy that accompanies seeing a rival or enemy suffer; sort of the reverse of an empathetic cringe of embarrassment

(n.) the hoary specter of death's pay-by-installment plan

(adj.) describing one who is in the process of mutating into a frailer, wrinklier, balder form of life

A term used to explain the concept of infinite regression.

(also: infinite regression)

The Answer to the Great Question Of Life, The Universe, And Everything. The problem is that nobody really knows what the question is

(also: Deep Thought)

(n.) a small island country pretending not to be part of italy. apparently the stronghold of an order of medieval crusader knights, and yet somehow those da vinci code guys never seem to pay it all that much attention

An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive.
(also: governing people)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the art of killing important people so as to prevent them from doing important things. assassinations are events of massive historical significance and have caused such tragedies as wars, revolutions, and walter cronkite tearing up during a public news broadcast.

a two-week-long suicide threat

An instrument used by the Caucasian to enhance his beauty, by the Mongolian to make a guy of himself and by the Afro-American to affirm his worth.
(also: racism)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) rejoice! the debts, and the anxieties over those same debts, won't be attacking your dreams tonight.

practiced in the Jewish tradition every 50 or so years, freeing all slaves and releasing all debts.
practiced in ancient Babylonia and Syria (or so I've skim-read a few minutes ago).

(also: tabula rasa)

(n.) a large feline from the americas, also called a cougar or a mountain lion. evidently prefers to wear its hair much shorter than the true lions, perhaps indicating that they have embraced the old skinhead look

in actuality pumas are fairly distant cousins to pantherine cats such as lions and tigers (bears, incidentally, are standing well apart from that family cat-tree entirely)

A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called "trousers" by the enlightened and "pants" by the unworthy.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.

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But yesterday I should have thought me blest
To stand high-pinnacled upon the peak
Of middle life and look adown the bleak
And unfamiliar foreslope to the West,
Where solemn shadows all the land invest
And stilly voices, half-remembered, speak
Unfinished prophecy, and witch-fires freak
The haunted twilight of the Dark of Rest.
Yea, yesterday my soul was all aflame
To stay the shadow on the dial's face
At manhood's noonmark! Now, in God His name
I chide aloud the little interspace
Disparting me from Certitude, and fain
Would know the dream and vision ne'er again.
—Baruch Arnegriff

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It is said that in his last illness the poet Arnegriff was attended at different times by seven doctors.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(also: cats)

(n.) 1) an alleged act of supernatural improbability, that in all likelihood never happened. 2) a potential act of supernatural improbability that in all likelihood isn't gonna happen

(n.) something you and the next person over can both presumably see. and yet, you will never be quite sure you're seeing the same thing.

(also: Canadian)

n. Dr. Bartlett, of the Bulletin.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)