A woman that is just a tool for one proccess.

(n.) a lifestyle of comfort and enjoyment, justifiable only through abstruse philosophical ramblings

(also: bacchanalia)
(also: food)
(also: drugs)
(also: sex)
(also: alcohol)

Greek poet who wrote Iliad and Odyssey
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: homer quotes)

n. The smallest current coin.

---

"The man was in such deep distress,"
Said Tom, "that I could do no less
Than give him good advice." Said Jim:
"If less could have been done for him
I know you well enough, my son,
To know that's what you would have done."
—Jebel Jocordy


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The extreme outpost of the face. From the circumstance that great conquerors have great noses, Getius, whose writings antedate the age of humor, calls the nose the organ of quell. It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.

---

There's a man with a Nose,
And wherever he goes
The people run from him and shout:
"No cotton have we
For our ears if so be
He blow that interminous snout!"

So the lawyers applied
For injunction. "Denied,"
Said the Judge: "the defendant prefixion,
Whate'er it portend,
Appears to transcend
The bounds of this court's jurisdiction."
—Arpad Singiny

One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
(also: war)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(also: color)

Pronunciation: Chēz

(n) How do you not know what cheese is? Are you dumb? It's cheese. Literally cheese. You eat it, you make it with milk, and it's often paired with wine. It can be found on pizzas, sandwiches, and even the odd pasta dish if you're feeling frisky.

(n.) a gliding lemur-creature hailing from southeast asia, presumably having emigrated there from some sort of other planet inhabited by nightmares

despite the implication of the name, it is not a hybrid of the colubra and the galago

n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.
(also: drugs)
(also: the devils dictionary)

(1542-1604) third ruler of the mughal empire, which was based in india but whose ruling class was persian. akbar was a fascinating study in contradictions; although illiterate (possibly dyslexic), he was a patron of intellectuals and philosophers. although an accomplished military leader in a land of sectarian conflict, he promoted peace and understanding between his muslim and hindu subjects

under his rule, the mughal empire grew to encompass much of india, and reached a golden age characterized by unimaginable heights of prosperity. then everything just sort of fell apart after he died. ah well.

no, he was not a space squid, and he did not help destroy the death star

A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the buffone, or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape; for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of the play. The zany was progenitor to the specialist in humor, as we to-day have the unhappiness to know him. In the zany we see an example of creation; in the humorist, of transmission. Another excellent specimen of the modern zany is the curate, who apes the rector, who apes the bishop, who apes the archbishop, who apes the devil.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of abjection, having an element of pride.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: pride)

(adjective):
The blissful feeling that washes over you when the universe aligns perfectly, like finding a matching pair of socks on the first try or experiencing the elusive "plop" sound when plunging a clogged toilet.


(also: acting like it is not sexual)

The eleventh twelfth of a weariness.

(n.) individual who commits unholy acts of tomfoolery

a popular plot device where a character must form relationships anew without the need to introduce new characters

(also: tragedy)

There are only two tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want, the other is getting it.
(also: life)
(also: getting what you want)

(n.) bit of flesh stuck to the front of your head. the standard issue face tends to include two eyes, a mouth, and a nose.

one with hidden sinister intentions is said to be two-faced
according to one expert, the world may be seen crashing down all around one's face, unless it's only mesh and lace

(v.) to aim one's face at another's face, for face-to-face combat, or, as some call it, conversation