A weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh. Among the Jews observance of the day was enforced by a Commandment of which this is the Christian version: "Remember the seventh day to make thy neighbor keep it wholly." To the Creator it seemed fit and expedient that the Sabbath should be the last day of the week, but the Early Fathers of the Church held other views. So great is the sanctity of the day that even where the Lord holds a doubtful and precarious jurisdiction over those who go down to (and down into) the sea it is reverently recognized, as is manifest in the following deep-water version of the Fourth Commandment:

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Six days shalt thou labor and do all thou art able,
And on the seventh holystone the deck and scrape the cable.

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Decks are no longer holystoned, but the cable still supplies the captain with opportunity to attest a pious respect for the divine ordinance.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a chronic condition characterized by sudden and uncontrollable onset of sleep. the main thing to remember about narcolepsy iszzzzzzzzzz...

X in our alphabet being a needless letter has an added invincibility to the attacks of the spelling reformers, and like them, will doubtless last as long as the language. X is the sacred symbol of ten dollars, and in such words as Xmas, Xn, etc., stands for Christ, not, as is popularly supposed, because it represents a cross, but because the corresponding letter in the Greek alphabet is the initial of his name — Xristos. If it represented a cross it would stand for St. Andrew, who "testified" upon one of that shape. In the algebra of psychology x stands for Woman's mind. Words beginning with X are Grecian and will not be defined in this standard English dictionary
(also: xbox)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

individuals who make others uncomfortable, and exude predatory intent, which they spend a great deal of time insisting to their targets aren't bad intentions, at all. Honestly.

Subtypes of creepers range from simply staring at you in a retail store, to running up to you and self-destructing, violently.

(also: Minecraft)

one who attempts to defend an idea without letting on that they find it defensible

something like this
(also: link isn't broken)

being a bystander, i.e. being an aggressor

(n.) a portal to other worlds. record your dreams & mine them for riches.

(n.) a chemical substance used to regulate one's more eccentric behaviors. no, booze does not count.

the momentary condition of the planet's atmosphere, particularly with regards to heat, cold, precipitation intensity,, earth, wind, fire, torrents of falling fish... that sort of stuff.

n. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the bio-capsule in which an unborn life form resides before finally being evicted in a process known as birth

(n.) an academic discipline based around finding out what happened back in the past

and, the even more difficult bit, finding out what really happened in the past

(also: european union)

adj. "Raised" instead of brought up.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a perturbing sea creature resembling a big slug with eight suction-cupped tendril arms. as with most perturbing creatures, someone has eaten it and decided it is a delicacy

it's your fault if I rip you off

An implement, madam, to whose Latin name, jugum, we owe one of the most illuminating words in our language — a word that defines the matrimonial situation with precision, point and poignancy. A thousand apologies for withholding it.
(also: voke)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A mobile phone which has a touchscreen and can run a multitude of different apps like video games or social media

(also: mobile phone)
(also: social media)
(also: video games)

(n.) avoiding an excessive or impolitic amount of truthfulness

(also: truth)