The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call "war" and "commerce." These, also, are the principal industries of the Orient.

n. A tall building on the seashore in which the government maintains a lamp and the friend of a politician.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

To recall with additions something not previously known.
(also: infinity)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.

(n.) a force that exists within a young girl's heart which can purportedly free her if sufficiently groovy

a sport involving men standing out on a floe of frozen ice and attempting to savagely beat each other with sticks. it's a bit like bruce wayne's training in batman begins, actually.

(n.)
narcotics? yes.
your prescription at the pharmacy? yes.
psychedelics? yes.
coffee? yes.

the associations, implications, and moral judgments behind 'drugs' varies widely. so instead of 'drugs', use the specific category you mean.

the most limited definition I've seen is, "a substance recognized or defined by the US Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act."
a drug is a drug because of the effects it has on a person when used, not because of a label slapped on it by some top-down council. this definition only works in its legal function. and yet, this narrow style of thinking about 'drugs' (for example, all drugs are bad; drug use is always drug abuse; see also, thinking such as https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2djwbhadeY) is pervasive beyond the legal system.

(also: medicine)
(also: harm reduction)
(also: addiction)

(also: immoral vs illegal)
(also: social norms)
(also: black and white thinking)

black
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.

(541 – 604) Founder of China's Sui Dynasty and reunifying China in 589
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: sui wen ti quotes)

(n.) one who wishes to give peace a chance.

Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(phrase) The familiar refrain of educators adept in the art of white lies. A diplomatic declaration bestowed upon students who possess an uncanny ability to hear sound waves while conveniently ignoring their content. Like a selective audio sponge, they master the art of nodding and smiling while mentally vacationing on distant shores. A testament to their imagination and the perpetual optimism of teachers caught in the labyrinth of classroom diplomacy.

(also: Your child is a joy to teach)
(also: Your child is a quick learner)

“Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.”
― E.M. Forster

a spotter's guide to clowns. Remember to exercise discretion when approaching.

Order: Clownidae
* Family Stanczykae (medieval jesters and harlequins)
* Family Commediae
** Genus Marceau (mimes and other street performers)
**Genus Emmitkellidae (classic clowns, birthday clowns, sad clowns, punch and judy puppets
*** Subgenus Vaudevillae (the Three Stooges, Charlie Chaplin, the Marx Brothers)
*** Subgenus Nightmaridae (scary clowns)
*** Subgenus Clussi (sexy clowns)

n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

possibly derived from "looming naughties," which sums the concept up rather nicely

a ludicrous idea that some people had to explain the creation of the universe. you would think if the universe were an egg it would be healthier for us.

(n.) a celebrated political figure, generally more respected than a typical politician by virtue of being dead

A dangerous creature known for preying on his victims at the woods.