(n.) a ground beef sandwich requiring a special dome-shaped bread packaging.

may also include ingredients like special sauce, lettuce, cheese pickles, onions and sesame seeds. occasionally you get more exotic toppings thrown on as well. but some claim this is just playing silly burgers.

An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
(also: alexander graham bell)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Teeth sharpener!

mathematical function defined as the value obtained when 'tan(x)' is put into a calculator

n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a mainstream religion that predominates throughout the western world. it purports to follow the teachings of jesus christ/jesus of nazareth, a sectarian leader from roman-occupied judea some 2000 years ago, regarded as a divine figure (either god or a relative of His) by christians. jesus taught many things, but since almost nobody can agree on what exactly they were, discussing these things is a bit difficult.

christianity comes in a number of flavors.
--catholicism: more or less original recipe christianity, supposedly founded by jesus' friend peter, who tried to bring his teachings to rome and in doing so was crucified upside down and became known as the first pope. catholics favor big cathedrals and elaborate vestments, and a complicated hierarchy of bishops, priests, deacons, monks and nuns, and thus they're the only denomination that gets to fight demons in the movies. practically any denomination that is not catholic is protestant.
--other episcopal denominations, who like the vestments and complicated hierarchy but don't want to follow the pope, resulting in a number of schisms. includes the egypt-based coptic church which broke away in 42 AD; the greek-based eastern orthodox church, which broke away in 1054; the german-based lutheran church that broke away in 1517; the england-based anglican church which broke away in 1534; and the episcopaleans who are basically anglican but refuse to acknowledge anything from england.
--then there's a bunch of denominations that don't like having elaborately-dressed bishops or cathedrals at all, so they settle mostly for button down shirts and office buildings: see presbyterians, baptists, and the red-headed stepchild of the family tree, the mormons

as might be inferred, it's a whole big thing.

A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
(also: governing people)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a thing to be kept the hell away from me. no, seriously. put me within a yard of that thing and I'm not liable for whatever happens to you during my evacuation.

n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers — particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives. Lead is also of great service as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.

---

Hail, holy Lead! — of human feuds the great
And universal arbiter; endowed
With penetration to pierce any cloud
Fogging the field of controversial hate,
And with a swift, inevitable, straight,
Searching precision find the unavowed
But vital point. Thy judgment, when allowed
By the chirurgeon, settles the debate.
O useful metal! — were it not for thee
We'd grapple one another's ears alway:
But when we hear thee buzzing like a bee
We, like old Muhlenberg, "care not to stay."
And when the quick have run away like pullets
Jack Satan smelts the dead to make new bullets.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(v.) Conducting disputes over minor marginal issues, while overlooking more serious ones.
Derived from the scenario of people arguing over what color to paint the bicycle shed while the house is not finished.

(also: pedantry)
(also: law of triviality)
(also: peter's principle)

(also: grammar nazi)

(n.) a boss-man or pooh-bah, usually in sinister secret societies or chess clubs

adj. The comparative degree of too much.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

1st meal of the day... Unless you have a pre-breakfast snack!

(also: bacon)

A filial coup de grâce whereby one is released from the lingering torments of paternity.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A republican form of government deriving its powers from the conceit of the governed — in thinking they govern.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem — a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.

---

'Tis said by divers of the scholar-men
That poor Salmasius died of Milton's pen.
Alas! we cannot know if this is true,
For reading Milton's wit we perish too.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. The collective body of the writings of all mankind, excepting Hubert Howe Bancroft and AdairWelcker. Theirs are Illiterature.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

socially scarce, and thus socially valuable

Introversion is often misunderstood as shyness or a lack of social skills, but in reality, it is a personality trait that is characterized by a preference for solitude and introspection. Introverts often feel most energized and content when they are alone or in quiet environments, and they may find socializing to be draining or overwhelming.