An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.

A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) an Australian creature similar to a dog; it rejects the human partnership of its domestic cousin in favor of a life of eating babies

political advocacy for the rights of men that can disguise itself as a parody when threatened.

A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.

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Old Paunchinello, freshly wed,
Took Madam P. to table,
And there deliriously fed
As fast as he was able.

"I dote upon good grub," he cried,
Intent upon its throatage.
"Ah, yes," said the neglected bride,
"You're in your table d'hôtage."
—Associated Poets
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word have been affirmed, but so high an authority as Father Jape says that it comes from a very obvious source — the first words of the ancient Latin hymn Te Deum Laudamus. In this apparently natural derivation there is something that saddens.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a reasonably famous piece of hong kong cinema released in 1978, when the martial arts craze was still going relatively strong. the domestic popularity of the film was such that the central cast was propelled to significant local fame

the plot runs as such: the aged master of the poison clan once had five students, each trained to fight like a different kind of venomous animal: the quick-handed centipede, the flexible snake, the stingy scorpion, the really-good-at-climbing-walls lizard, and the, um, *indestructible* toad. however, this aged master is now on death's doorstoop, and he is haunted by a dream that one or more of these students have used his teachings for evil. he calls on his newest, youngest, sixth student to go to the nearby village and investigate to see which, if any, of the five are guilty, which is complicated by the fact that all the students wore masks and their identities are secret.

in case you're curious (but not curious enough to actually watch the movie): scorpion is evil, centipede is a willing accomplice, snake is an unwilling accomplice, toad is murdered and lizard is a hero who teams up with the main character.

(n.) a nation in the north of the Asian continent, primarily known for having such abundant reserves of human suffering that it became their primary export

(n.) the sincerest form of flattery which mediocrity can pay to greatness. also the insincerest form of crab meat.

(also: crab)

(n.) one in a never-ending series of new ideas (including nationality, religion, and boredom) which has inspired human beings to violent conflict. it involves something to do with workers and production, etc. etc.

The place where the most people in the world talk trash about the military, but also the place where the most people in the world are married to military members, or professional affiliates.

(also: divorce rate)

The only place in the word were you can find that many retarted.

someone who doesn't believe my accusations of wrongdoing, and thereby sees the wrongdoing as right

noun: living beings, whether animals or creatures, that provide solace and grievance depending on one's mood.
Example: my dog is an important member of my family.

a politician who gets the electorate involved.

(n.) a large feline predator of south asia that takes a rather odd approach to camouflage but is always dressed in the right colors for halloween parties

some also come in monochrome and tones of gold

Originally the ninth month of the year until some Roman jerk decided he wanted to destroy all known naming conventions and slide two extra months in the world's biggest and most successful hold my beer.

(also: Hold My Beer)

A super hero whose super power is essentialy trow straws

(n.) the demon cluck-bird is its name, eat its wings to make it tame

these birds, often raised domestically on farms, are known for their gormless stupidity and delicious versatility: their flesh is high in protein, their eggs make a nourishing breakfast, and their necks are easily wrung for convenient sacrifices.

defying the age old philosophical query, there is no particular motivation a chicken might have for crossing a road, as they do not know what roads are.