“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
― Winston S. Churchill
(also: Winston Churchill)

(n.) explorers who are less concerned with the wondrous new lands and customs and more concerned with the workload they're escaping

Reparation without satisfaction.
Among the Anglo-Saxons a subject conceiving himself wronged by the king was permitted, on proving his injury, to beat a brazen image of the royal offender with a switch that was afterward applied to his own naked back. The latter rite was performed by the public hangman, and it assured moderation in the plaintiff's choice of a switch.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a large feline from the americas, also called a cougar or a mountain lion. evidently prefers to wear its hair much shorter than the true lions, perhaps indicating that they have embraced the old skinhead look

in actuality pumas are fairly distant cousins to pantherine cats such as lions and tigers (bears, incidentally, are standing well apart from that family cat-tree entirely)

The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.

---

Moses Mendelssohn having fallen ill sent for a Christian physician, who at once diagnosed the philosopher's disorder as trichinosis, but tactfully gave it another name. "You need an immediate change of diet," he said; "you must eat six ounces of pork every other day."

"Pork?" shrieked the patient — "pork? Nothing shall induce me to touch it!"

"Do you mean that?" the doctor gravely asked.

"I swear it!"

"Good! — then I will undertake to cure you."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a continent includes china japan and korea.

n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basis of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion — thus:
Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man.

Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; therefore —

Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second.

This may be called the syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1749 – 1823) Developed the world's first vaccine (the smallpox vaccine). Known as the father of immunology.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: edward jenner quotes)

Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.
(also: boredom)

(n.) a party that celebrates surviving one year past a certain event. if the event is a birth it's called a birthday

(n.) the ability to be disappointed enough with reality that one starts proposing improvements, a testament to mankind's sheer arrogance and easily-bored nature

(v.) to evoke (eg. a feeling), not to be confused with illicit

(n.) a food that is conceptually disgusting but inherently fancy and respectable

something like this
(also: link isn't broken)

(742 – 814) United Europe to form the Carolingian Empire. First western Emperor since the fall of Rome.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: charlemagne quotes)

(n.) the human tendency to hold contradictory beliefs at the same time on the basis that their truth is less important than their rhetorical usefulness

a spotter's guide to clowns. Remember to exercise discretion when approaching.

Order: Clownidae
* Family Stanczykae (medieval jesters and harlequins)
* Family Commediae
** Genus Marceau (mimes and other street performers)
**Genus Emmitkellidae (classic clowns, birthday clowns, sad clowns, punch and judy puppets
*** Subgenus Vaudevillae (the Three Stooges, Charlie Chaplin, the Marx Brothers)
*** Subgenus Nightmaridae (scary clowns)
*** Subgenus Clussi (sexy clowns)

(n.) a habit of highly successful people

(n.) based af.

(also: lenin)

(also: capitalism)

n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)