marcus antonious (83-30 BC) is a dead roman guy.

once a sidekick to julius caesar, whom he served faithfully as a general but also humiliated a few times by routinely turning up to the senate pig-bastard drunk (this got him into a pissing match with cicero).

when julius kicked the bucket, marc took over as big cheese and set to work thrashing his old master's assassins. however, he was beaten to the punch by augustus caesar, the adopted son of the late caesar, who managed to take control of rome while marcy went skulking around the eastern world looking for allies. this led marc antony to shack up with cleopatra vii, with whom he had a torrid love affair. this sordid romance came to an end when marc antony's armies were well and truly smashed in actium, and he committed suicide to escape octavian's reprisal.

a dead british guy named william shakespeare wrote a little ditty about it.

The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity. Its habit of incubating its eggs in a ball of ordure may also have commended it to the favor of the priesthood, and may some day assure it an equal reverence among ourselves. True, the American beetle is an inferior beetle, but the American priest is an inferior priest.
(also: SCARABEE)
(also: mice)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Skilled in the art and practice of dissimulation.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a legendary monster made up by the people of far-off wisconsin in a desperate attempt to convince people to go there and buy merchandise. clear parallels can be detected between the aliens supposedly seen in roswell, new mexico; mothman in parts of west virginia; and leonardo dicaprio in hollywood.

in any case, supposedly the hodag looks a bit like someone added a lot of spikes and fangs to a bull.

Providence without industry. The thrift of power.
(also: power)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(noun):
The mischievous work of a wire-wielding poltergeist, lurking in the shadows of your pockets and bags, eagerly plotting to turn your headphones into a tangled mess of frustration. It's a cosmic prank that rivals the greatest slapstick comedy, as if Charlie Chaplin himself orchestrated the chaos. Untangling the knotty mess becomes a high-stakes puzzle, a battle of wits against an invisible foe with a PhD in knotting. It's a spectacle that leaves you questioning your life choices and contemplating a career as a professional knot detangler. So grab your patience, your sense of humor, and a strong cup of coffee, because in the world of tangled headphones, laughter is the only way to keep your sanity intact.



(also: headphones)

(n.) a small island country pretending not to be part of italy. apparently the stronghold of an order of medieval crusader knights, and yet somehow those da vinci code guys never seem to pay it all that much attention

Vacation's when you go somewhere... and you never come back
(also: hell)
(also: flying)

(n.) the people or groups of people in charge of running things, or in charge of preventing things from running for safety reasons. The Man.

Undergoing or awaiting punishment.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a party that celebrates surviving one year past a certain event. if the event is a birth it's called a birthday

(n.) a secondary banana. a backup singer. a trusted subordinate. a euphemistic way of describing one's gay lover.

(1845 – 1923) German physicist who discovered electromagnetic waves or X-rays.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: wilhelm conrad roentgen quotes)

has toe beans
(also: toe beans)

n. A mealtime inversion that delights the palate and confuses the digestive system.

(also: Breakfast)

(also: guide)

An implement, madam, to whose Latin name, jugum, we owe one of the most illuminating words in our language — a word that defines the matrimonial situation with precision, point and poignancy. A thousand apologies for withholding it.
(also: voke)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers — particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives. Lead is also of great service as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.

---

Hail, holy Lead! — of human feuds the great
And universal arbiter; endowed
With penetration to pierce any cloud
Fogging the field of controversial hate,
And with a swift, inevitable, straight,
Searching precision find the unavowed
But vital point. Thy judgment, when allowed
By the chirurgeon, settles the debate.
O useful metal! — were it not for thee
We'd grapple one another's ears alway:
But when we hear thee buzzing like a bee
We, like old Muhlenberg, "care not to stay."
And when the quick have run away like pullets
Jack Satan smelts the dead to make new bullets.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(216 – ) Iranian founder of Manichaeism, a gnostic religion which for a time was a rival to Christianity.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: mani quotes)

all of you shut up, it's me that's spartacus