(1042 – 29 July 1099) Influential Pope who ordered the first Crusade to the Holy Land and set up the Papal Court
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: pope urban ii quotes)

(n.) nature's hat. one of the few remaining patches of fur covering left on earth's dominant bald apes (see human)

I'm sorry

n. The day of good deeds and a reformed life. The beginning of happiness

(also: tomorrow) when we get to it
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(phrase) The timeless excuse of students seeking mercy for incomplete tasks, conjuring images of valiant guardianship over pint-sized terrors. A tale of unexpected responsibilities and heroic feats of sibling supervision, where chaos reigns and homework crumbles in the face of diaper changes and tantrums. A bittersweet plea for understanding, blending the frustrations of caretaking with the comedic antics of miniature humans.


(also: my dog ate my homework)

(also: market)

(v.) doing something you shouldn't be doing.. it'll bite you back.

(also: taking more than your share)
takers v. givers v. otherish

(also: luck)

a variety of large feline, with subvarieties dwelling in eurasia, iberia and north america, identifiable by the long wispy ears and pointy beard, giving its countenance sort of a "wise old man" mien

not to be confused with the links that lead to other pages on this site, or the ones on a golf course

A gift from Heaven signifying, "This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased."
—John D. Rockefeller
The reward of toil and virtue.
—J.P. Morgan

The savings of many in the hands of one.
—Eugene Debs

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To these excellent definitions the inspired lexicographer feels that he can add nothing of value.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A piece of material suitable for consumption to gain energy within one's body. Unfortunately it will not help with crippling sadness, but some may treat it as though it does.
(also: crippling sadness)
(also: common misunderstandings)

(n.) basically between the camel and the sheep on the hoofed animal hierarchy. an unabashedly surly animal that can eat basically anything that fits in its mouth

aeschylus (525-465 BC) was a playwright of ancient athens, perhaps best known for his oresteia trilogy ('agamemnon,' 'the libation bearers,' and 'the eumenides'), which is about a family caught in a bloody and endless cycle of revenge, as well as 'seven against thebes,' which is about some motherlover who tries to enjoy retirement but is repeatedly interrupted by his awful sons.

aeschylus was also an initiate into the cult of the eleusinian mysteries, joining cults being all the rage at that time.

aeschylus reportedly died when a hawk tried to smash a turtle open on the playwright's bald head, which the hawk had mistaken for a rock. this bizarre vagary of fate reminds us that one man's tragedy is always another man's comedy.

(n.) weapons intended primarily to fight food

A main ingredient in glorious beer, which in itself is a main ingredient in a glorious day.

(noun):maybe

(n.) an academic discipline based around finding out what happened back in the past

and, the even more difficult bit, finding out what really happened in the past

outré, i.e. violently bigoted

To take the property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of theft. To effect a change of ownership with the candid concomitance of a brass band. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanished opportunity.
(also: valhalla calling me)
(also: my mother told me)
(also: bad parents)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the hoary specter of death's pay-by-installment plan

(adj.) describing one who is in the process of mutating into a frailer, wrinklier, balder form of life

The most tempting touchable in all known existence. It's also a source of great peril, fraught with blood and pain. Only touch the floof at your own risk.

“Jenny tried to rub Mrs. Flufferbutt's cat belly, and was rewarded with many scratches.”

(also: pork belly)