Noun. The mystical force that transforms ordinary humans into button-pressing, world-changing wizards, or sometimes just makes the toaster work.

(also: power dynamics)

(noun):
A charming little surprise that life throws at you when you least expect it, like a mischievous imp hiding in the shadows. It's a tiny annoyance that grows into an epic saga, making simple tasks feel like climbing Mount Everest with a rubber chicken.



(also: rubber chicken)

All men are assured the first death, which is otherwise known as sleep, and then judgement. The second death is when The Lord no longer thinks of you and casts you into the fiery hell.

To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.
(also: maid)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. Specifically, in American history, the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch. Revolutions are usually accompanied by a considerable effusion of blood, but are accounted worth it — this appraisement being made by beneficiaries whose blood had not the mischance to be shed. The French revolution is of incalculable value to the Socialist of to-day; when he pulls the string actuating its bones its gestures are inexpressibly terrifying to gory tyrants suspected of fomenting law and order.
(also: governing people)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n) that sort of fibrous, hairy looking frost that you sometimes see if the weather is just right

you thought it was something else, didn't you? admit it

(n.) big swimming sacks of flammable oil that make mooing/whimpering noises and breach for the amusement of tourists

saving them from imminent extinction is a major goal of environmentalists, and hunting them to extinction is a major goal of crusty old men with peg-legs, norwegians and japanese people

1st meal of the day... Unless you have a pre-breakfast snack!

(also: bacon)

(n.) the frog's wartier, homelier cousin

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.
(also: chocolate)

the state of zoning out often experienced when controlling a 2-ton piece of metal going at inhuman speeds

A fool considered under another aspect.
(author: admin)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. a product made for picking ears

(n.) ain't it the most common kind?

rsvp, répondez s'il vous plaît
asap, as soon as possible
lmao, laughing my ass off
rofl, rolling on the floor laughing
wdym, what do you mean
fwiw, for what it's worth
iirc, if I recall correctly
imho, in my honest/ humble opinion
ttyl, talk to you later
tyvm, thank you very much
tgif, thank god it's friday
byob, bring your own beer/ bottle
nsfw, not safe for work
acab, all cops are bastards
awol, absent without leave
ymmv, your mileage may vary

http, hyper-text transfer protocol
fifo, first in, first out
adhd, hyperactivity disorder
mdma, 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine
nasa, National Aeronautics and Space Administration
ussr, union of soviet state republic

A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect. One of these egotists was addressed in the lines following, by Agamemnon Melancthon Peters:

---

Dear Frank, that scrap-book where you boast
You keep a record true
Of every kind of peppered roast
That's made of you;

Wherein you paste the printed gibes
That revel round your name,
Thinking the laughter of the scribes
Attests your fame;

Where all the pictures you arrange
That comic pencils trace —
Your funny figure and your strange
Semitic face —

Pray lend it me. Wit I have not,
Nor art, but there I'll list
The daily drubbings you'd have got
Had God a fist.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n) A convenient excuse for the Almighty to shirk their divine duties and leave humanity to their own devices. One can only imagine the heavenly distractions that must be more important than answering prayers or intervening in earthly affairs. Perhaps God is binge-watching a new series on Netflix or indulging in a celestial spa day. Either way, mere mortals will have to wait until God returns to their desk to handle the backlog of requests. In the meantime, humans may have to resort to solving their own problems, like adults.

(also: creation of the universe)

(also: guide)

(c 563 – 483 BC) Spiritual Teacher and founder of Buddhism.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: buddha quotes)

An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(phrase) The ingenious defense strategy employed by academically challenged individuals when faced with unfinished assignments. A whimsical excuse that taps into the profound appetite of canines for academic knowledge, transforming homework into a delectable delicacy. The phenomenon amuses teachers, inspires disbelief, and perpetuates the legend of scholarly pups with insatiable appetites.


(also: homework)
(also: student)
(also: teacher)