A mobile phone which has a touchscreen and can run a multitude of different apps like video games or social media

(also: mobile phone)
(also: social media)
(also: video games)

Worse version of Czech republic full of angry villagers

(n.) a quality historically defining the upper class (noblemen); considered to be roughly synonymous with grace, dignity, erudition and composure, in practice it's more shorthand for "friends in high places and doesn't have to work for a living"

(also: bypasses)

(n.) a fatal flaw. the gravest of sins. impossible to right such a wrong.

(also: spelling)
(also: attention to detail)
(also: grammar nazi)
(also: sin)
(also: penance)

a nation that exists to give Greece extra bonus points in eurovision

A very commen misspelle of the f word

(noun): A sticky substance that transforms a leisurely stroll into a flailing dance of desperation.

(n.) the study of ailments which exist only in the mind, though the bill, unfortunately, does not

Propensitate of prejudice.

n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable. Liability to attacks of laughter is one of the characteristics distinguishing man from the animals — these being not only inaccessible to the provocation of his example, but impregnable to the microbes having original jurisdiction in bestowal of the disease. Whether laughter could be imparted to animals by inoculation from the human patient is a question that has not been answered by experimentation. Dr. Meir Witchell holds that the infectious character of laughter is due to the instantaneous fermentation of sputa diffused in a spray. From this peculiarity he names the disorder Convulsio spargens.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a phenomenon where you think you're in a life-threatening or horrific situation, but you're actually just hallucinating to distract you from the maddening oblivion that comes with lying motionless in the dark for hours. Relax.

(phrase) The timeless excuse of students seeking mercy for incomplete tasks, conjuring images of valiant guardianship over pint-sized terrors. A tale of unexpected responsibilities and heroic feats of sibling supervision, where chaos reigns and homework crumbles in the face of diaper changes and tantrums. A bittersweet plea for understanding, blending the frustrations of caretaking with the comedic antics of miniature humans.


(also: my dog ate my homework)

The one unpardonable sin against one's fellows. In literature, and particularly in poetry, the elements of success are exceedingly simple, and are admirably set forth in the following lines by the reverend Father Gassalasca Jape, entitled, for some mysterious reason, "John A. Joyce."

---

The bard who would prosper must carry a book,
Do his thinking in prose and wear
A crimson cravat, a far-away look
And a head of hexameter hair.
Be thin in your thought and your body'll be fat;
If you wear your hair long you needn't your hat.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The point in the heavens directly overhead to a standing man or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though from this view of the matter there was once a considerable dissent among the learned, some holding that the posture of the body was immaterial. These were called Horizontalists, their opponents, Verticalists. The Horizontalist heresy was finally extinguished by Xanobus, the philosopher-king of Abara, a zealous Verticalist. Entering an assembly of philosophers who were debating the matter, he cast a severed human head at the feet of his opponents and asked them to determine its zenith, explaining that its body was hanging by the heels outside. Observing that it was the head of their leader, the Horizontalists hastened to profess themselves converted to whatever opinion the Crown might be pleased to hold, and Horizontalism took its place among fides defuncti.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a sport involving men standing out on a floe of frozen ice and attempting to savagely beat each other with sticks. it's a bit like bruce wayne's training in batman begins, actually.

New York's ugly, unappreciated sister.

(adj.) a good state for the world to be in.
a good state for any real system to be in, really.

(also: rivers)
(also: healing)
(also: health)

the last big hurrah of the 18th century, featuring liberty, equality, and brotherhood as side dishes alongside a main course of blood, horror, devastation and death. brought to us by france; we assume it was all staged in an attempt to win at eurovision

what exactly happened (in a nutshell): after several massive wars, droughts, hailstones, and the aftermath of a massive volcanic eruption in iceland, france was facing a fairly serious famine and economic crisis. public sentiment was tipping very heavily against the monarchy (at the time, headed by king louis xvi), and this finally reached its fever pitch in 1789, when an angry mob raided the bastille (a political prison) to steal weapons; three years after that, the monarchy was abolished, and two years after that, after the king was caught sneaking off to austria to raise an army against the revolutionaries, he was messily executed with members of his family.

so democracy came to france, and many people were executed, and eventually a war broke out across all of europe. then napoleon came into power and even more war broke out across all of europe! good times

in the end: it wound up not mattering a whole lot because after napoleon fell in 1814 france went back to being a monarchy. live and learn.

learn about the major players in the french revolution by clicking here! well, not here-here, i mean where those blue words are.

the destination