(n.) one who sings. not to be confused with one who singes.

n. The activity of a tongue that has no ears.
(also: humans)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(also: success)

a computer program that pretends to be a different genre of pornography

(n.) the extremities on the end of one's hand, usually existing in bunches of four plus an additional one who sort of does his own thing (the thumb). if your brain is working correctly you can make them curl up in order to grab things.

for the obscene hand gesture, see the finger. for the fillets of breaded chicken meat, see chicken finger. for the first really good james bond movie, see goldfinger. for other things called fingers go somewhere else. leave me alone.

The urge to slap, hit, punch, kill, or otherwise physically harm your sibling.
Named after Cain who, in biblical canon, commited the first murder by hitting his brother on the head with a rock.
(also: fratricide)
(also: bible)

One of the few characters of the Grecian mythology accorded recognition in the Hebrew. (Leviticus, xvii, 7.) The satyr was at first a member of the dissolute community acknowledging a loose allegiance to Dionysus, but underwent many transformations and improvements. Not infrequently he is confounded with the faun, a later and decenter creation of the Romans, who was less like a man and more like a goat.
(also: mythology)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) life's way of screwing you out of half your Biblically allotted seventy-to-eighty years

(n.) an octopus that has crossed into our universe from the funhouse mirror dimension

Pittbull is an American music artist. It is widely believed that he is enjoyed but not a very good one.

For we're do the sails of life lead?
Rudderless in direction.
The captain knows
Yet lest we see
Blow winds to far off destinations.

- Pittbull (song: Timber feat. Ke$ha)

n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related as follows by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape, S.J.

---

One day a wag—what would the wretch be at?—
Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT,
And said it was a god's name! Straight arose
Fantastic priests and postulants (with shows,
And mysteries, and mummeries, and hymns,
And disputations dire that lamed their limbs)
To serve his temple and maintain the fires,
Expound the law, manipulate the wires.
Amazed, the populace the rites attend,
Believe whate'er they cannot comprehend,
And, inly edified to learn that two
Half-hairs joined so and so (as Art can do)
Have sweeter values and a grace more fit
Than Nature's hairs that never have been split,
Bring cates and wines for sacrificial feasts,
And sell their garments to support the priests.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1564- 1616) English poet and playwright.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: william shakespeare quotes)

n. [1.] The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious. [2.] The kind of ignorance affected by (and affecting) civilized races, as distinguished from Ignorance, the sort of learning incurred by savages. See NONSENSE.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
(also: alcohol)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a holiday which appears to originate from Gaelic traditions surrounding the autumn harvest festival

in modern america, a typical halloween consists of children wearing expensive costumes to disguise their identities, and wandering from house to house begging for candy, a custom which was difficult to explain to the soviet union

for adults, the custom consists largely of watching horror-themed movies with various levels of eroticism, and dressing up in costumes with various levels of eroticism.

A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.

(n.) avoiding an excessive or impolitic amount of truthfulness

(also: truth)

when you ride a bike without the seat on just the pole

(also: pole dancing)

(adj.)

1) nervous, jumpy; more jittery than a green snake in a sugarcane plantation

2) avant-garde and trendmaking; for some reason, this usually equates to taking a corny cartoon made for immature children and retooling it into a grim cartoon for immature teenagers

(n.) a contraption of silicon, glass and plastic that serves as a secondary brain so that people do not have to handle all that tedious thought by themselves