a holiday when you try to find a date for the day, or a 'valentine', and if you can't find one, you lose
(n.) the act of hurling someone out of a window. No, that's actually it.
both wonderful and depressing
A senseless thing that holds food without eating it.
She uttered her mind, without ceasing:
And this is the thought that it carried.
"I fear that your love is decreasing.
How is it, dear, now that we're married?"
Replied that aciduous sinner,
Fatigued of her reasonless chatter:
"When a fellow has eaten his dinner
He doesn't make love to the platter"
—Belijah H. Bimbee
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
She uttered her mind, without ceasing:
And this is the thought that it carried.
"I fear that your love is decreasing.
How is it, dear, now that we're married?"
Replied that aciduous sinner,
Fatigued of her reasonless chatter:
"When a fellow has eaten his dinner
He doesn't make love to the platter"
—Belijah H. Bimbee
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
The macabre altar used by capable comedians of all sort to display their priestly talent for reciting masses. The beneficiaries pay nothing less than 100% humiliation.
a pitiable state in which one person is friends with another, rather than sexual partners
a method of poverty reduction in which poverty is located and bombed to oblivion
“Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.”
― Victor Hugo
― Victor Hugo
Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is now used as a lecture hall by the Audible Reformer. When disturbed by his voice the ancient echoes clamor appropriate responses most gratifying to his pride of distinction.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed. The question, "Is life worth living?" has been much discussed; particularly by those who think it is not, many of whom have written at great length in support of their view and by careful observance of the laws of health enjoyed for long terms of years the honors of successful controversy.
"Life's not worth living, and that's the truth,"
Carelessly caroled the golden youth.
In manhood still he maintained that view
And held it more strongly the older he grew.
When kicked by a jackass at eighty-three,
"Go fetch me a surgeon at once!" cried he.
—Han Soper
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
"Life's not worth living, and that's the truth,"
Carelessly caroled the golden youth.
In manhood still he maintained that view
And held it more strongly the older he grew.
When kicked by a jackass at eighty-three,
"Go fetch me a surgeon at once!" cried he.
—Han Soper
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
n. a process by which several legal professionals argue with each other with an older legal professional serving as referee in order to convince a small group of people who couldn't talk themselves out of jury duty that one legal professional is more correct than the other.
(1889 – 1945) – Leader of Nazi Germany.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: adolf hitler quotes)
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: adolf hitler quotes)
"situational comedy"
a televisual narrative entertainment program which purports to place identifiable yet idiosyncratic characters into comedic situations. one of the means by which television executives drain your life force, but alas, never say no one told you life was gonna be this way.
a televisual narrative entertainment program which purports to place identifiable yet idiosyncratic characters into comedic situations. one of the means by which television executives drain your life force, but alas, never say no one told you life was gonna be this way.
in ancient egypt: a poo-bah, a big shot. the king (not elvis... except in semipopular musical stageplay "joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat")
a direct translation to english apparently would be "great house"
a direct translation to english apparently would be "great house"
n. An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as medicine, and now engaged in supplying art with an excellent pigment. He is handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.
By means of the Mummy, mankind, it is said,
Attests to the gods its respect for the dead.
We plunder his tomb, be he sinner or saint,
Distil him for physic and grind him for paint,
Exhibit for money his poor, shrunken frame,
And with levity flock to the scene of the shame.
O, tell me, ye gods, for the use of my rhyme:
For respecting the dead what's the limit of time?
—Scopas Brune
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
By means of the Mummy, mankind, it is said,
Attests to the gods its respect for the dead.
We plunder his tomb, be he sinner or saint,
Distil him for physic and grind him for paint,
Exhibit for money his poor, shrunken frame,
And with levity flock to the scene of the shame.
O, tell me, ye gods, for the use of my rhyme:
For respecting the dead what's the limit of time?
—Scopas Brune
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
food for lower-downs
(adj.) describing any system with excessively complicated administrative obstacles to circumvent
originates from the eastern half of the roman empire, where red tape spread like cobwebs across the minarets
originates from the eastern half of the roman empire, where red tape spread like cobwebs across the minarets
a quarantine or infirmary for the care and separation of the impoverished
sign-up or face the consequences!
“"observers" must obey the call.”
join