ground

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(n.) 1) the broad, flat thing that would kill you if you fell from a great height. the thing you are most likely standing on whenever gravity works as intended; 2) the dead remains of coffee

(v.) 1) to confine a young person to their room, as punishment for misbehavior; 2) to confine electric currents to an equalized surface, as punishment for trying to zap people

ground is a lot of things, it transpires.

internet

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(n.) the closest thing to god that humanity has yet created, and very likely to destroy us some time in the future. the internet is like a vast beehive of information of which computers are mere waxy cells.

according to legend, the heart of the internet is a gigantic central server built into a volcano, guarded by armies of orcs in little button-down shirts and maybe al gore or something

hodag

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a legendary monster made up by the people of far-off wisconsin in a desperate attempt to convince people to go there and buy merchandise. clear parallels can be detected between the aliens supposedly seen in roswell, new mexico; mothman in parts of west virginia; and leonardo dicaprio in hollywood.

in any case, supposedly the hodag looks a bit like someone added a lot of spikes and fangs to a bull.

inspirational quotes

quote
“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
― Marilyn Monroe
(also: life)
(also: Marilyn Monroe)

webcomic

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(n.) a comic presented to its audience through the power of the web. the web provides a platform on which comics need not be subject to the gimlet eye and cruel iron fist of the newspaper syndicate, thus freeing webcomic creators to fully realize their true creative vision (usually furry porn)

puma

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(n.) a large feline from the americas, also called a cougar or a mountain lion. evidently prefers to wear its hair much shorter than the true lions, perhaps indicating that they have embraced the old skinhead look

in actuality pumas are fairly distant cousins to pantherine cats such as lions and tigers (bears, incidentally, are standing well apart from that family cat-tree entirely)

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