An implement that cries aloud for hands accustomed to the pen.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(british) a sport originally played in britain in the middle ages. it is played by two opposing teams who stand on opposite ends of a lawn and try to kick a ball into the opposing side's net. conceptually a fairly mind-numbing pastime, most people watch it in hopes of seeing the game degenerate into violence.
"classic" brutish british football is played according to strict association rules developed over centuries, and is thus called soccer (mostly by americans). however, several "unofficial" variations of the sport exist, including those that evolved into rugby, american football (see below) and probably some other, even worse ones.
"classic" brutish british football is played according to strict association rules developed over centuries, and is thus called soccer (mostly by americans). however, several "unofficial" variations of the sport exist, including those that evolved into rugby, american football (see below) and probably some other, even worse ones.
Relative elevation in the scale of human worth.
He held at court a rank so high
That other noblemen asked why.
"Because," 'twas answered, "others lack
His skill to scratch the royal back."
—Aramis Jukes
(also: governing people)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
He held at court a rank so high
That other noblemen asked why.
"Because," 'twas answered, "others lack
His skill to scratch the royal back."
—Aramis Jukes
(also: governing people)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.
When the world was young and Man was new,
And everything was pleasant,
Distinctions Nature never drew
'Mongst kings and priest and peasant.
We're not that way at present,
Save here in this Republic, where
We have that old régime,
For all are kings, however bare
Their backs, howe'er extreme
Their hunger. And, indeed, each has a voice
To accept the tyrant of his party's choice.
A citizen who would not vote,
And, therefore, was detested,
Was one day with a tarry coat
(With feathers backed and breasted)
By patriots invested.
"It is your duty," cried the crowd,
"Your ballot true to cast
For the man o' your choice." He humbly bowed,
And explained his wicked past:
"That's what I very gladly would have done,
Dear patriots, but he has never run."
—Apperton Doke
(also: the devils dictionary)
When the world was young and Man was new,
And everything was pleasant,
Distinctions Nature never drew
'Mongst kings and priest and peasant.
We're not that way at present,
Save here in this Republic, where
We have that old régime,
For all are kings, however bare
Their backs, howe'er extreme
Their hunger. And, indeed, each has a voice
To accept the tyrant of his party's choice.
A citizen who would not vote,
And, therefore, was detested,
Was one day with a tarry coat
(With feathers backed and breasted)
By patriots invested.
"It is your duty," cried the crowd,
"Your ballot true to cast
For the man o' your choice." He humbly bowed,
And explained his wicked past:
"That's what I very gladly would have done,
Dear patriots, but he has never run."
—Apperton Doke
(also: the devils dictionary)
(n.)The land of hortons, hipsters, mooses, and people who say "sorry" for no reason
(1931 – ) Leader of Soviet Communist Party who pursued reform – perestroika and glasnost to open Eastern Europe to democracy.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: mikhail gorbachev quotes)
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: mikhail gorbachev quotes)
title used for royal lawyer-knights
(n.) a device used to do a thing. the use of tools is a major component of intelligence.
the four main tools include the lever, the pulley, the inclined plane and their older brother the internal combustion engine. tools without good agents include hammers, screwdrivers, gimlets, tongs, other hammers, backscratchers, and many more.
the four main tools include the lever, the pulley, the inclined plane and their older brother the internal combustion engine. tools without good agents include hammers, screwdrivers, gimlets, tongs, other hammers, backscratchers, and many more.
(also: market)
(n.) nature's hat. one of the few remaining patches of fur covering left on earth's dominant bald apes (see human)
A gift from Heaven signifying, "This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased."
—John D. Rockefeller
The reward of toil and virtue.
—J.P. Morgan
The savings of many in the hands of one.
—Eugene Debs
To these excellent definitions the inspired lexicographer feels that he can add nothing of value.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
—John D. Rockefeller
The reward of toil and virtue.
—J.P. Morgan
The savings of many in the hands of one.
—Eugene Debs
To these excellent definitions the inspired lexicographer feels that he can add nothing of value.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.
Ah, punster, would my lot were cast,
Where the cobbler is unknown,
So that I might forget his last
And hear your own.
—Gargo Repsky
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
Ah, punster, would my lot were cast,
Where the cobbler is unknown,
So that I might forget his last
And hear your own.
—Gargo Repsky
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(n.) a vehicle powered by pasta. well, in a roundabout sort of way.
Cock and Ball torture, a sexual activity involving torture of the male's genitals
This can include: Wax Play, Genital Spanking, Squeezing, Ball Busting, Genital Flogging, Genital Flogging, Urethral Playing, Tickle Torture, Erotic electrostimulation, and Kicking.
This can include: Wax Play, Genital Spanking, Squeezing, Ball Busting, Genital Flogging, Genital Flogging, Urethral Playing, Tickle Torture, Erotic electrostimulation, and Kicking.
(n.) a political leader who uses cheap rhetoric to flatter and incite the badly informed public, exploiting their naïveté. But you folks are too smart to fall for that kind of thing
(n.) the extremities on the end of one's hand, usually existing in bunches of four plus an additional one who sort of does his own thing (the thumb). if your brain is working correctly you can make them curl up in order to grab things.
for the obscene hand gesture, see the finger. for the fillets of breaded chicken meat, see chicken finger. for the first really good james bond movie, see goldfinger. for other things called fingers go somewhere else. leave me alone.
for the obscene hand gesture, see the finger. for the fillets of breaded chicken meat, see chicken finger. for the first really good james bond movie, see goldfinger. for other things called fingers go somewhere else. leave me alone.
adj. Composed of words of one syllable, for literary babes who never tire of testifying their delight in the vapid compound by appropriate googoogling. The words are commonly Saxon — that is to say, words of a barbarous people destitute of ideas and incapable of any but the most elementary sentiments and emotions.
The man who writes in Saxon
Is the man to use an ax on.
—Judibras
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
The man who writes in Saxon
Is the man to use an ax on.
—Judibras
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
a media juggernaut spun off from a 1970s fantasy movie about samurai cowboys who reenact world war ii in space
it's so beloved that all its fans loathe it
it's so beloved that all its fans loathe it
an extra feature of a movie where you get to see the start of a scene, but then it gets interrupted by a character laughing, and then the rest of the characters laughing
sign-up or face the consequences!
“"observers" must obey the call.”
join