n. A vulgarian's name for a woman. A Lieutenant-Governor of California and Warden of the State Prison once reported the number of prisoners under his care as "931 males and 27 ladies."

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. The day of good deeds and a reformed life. The beginning of happiness

(also: tomorrow) when we get to it
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

one of the less savory human avocations, the act of graverobbing amounts to theft of a corpse or its sundry accoutrements from their proper place of internment.

graverobbing has been an epidemic concern at various points in history. for example, in egypt, even in ancient times (when it was better known as ancient egypt), the elaborate tombs of pharaohs were tempting targets for taphological treasure-hunting transgressors, who would seek to pillage not only the gold ornaments with which pharaohs were buried, but also occasionally the mummies themselves (apparently they were considered to have medicinal purposes. mmm, human jerky)

graverobbing was also a source of concern in victorian england, as the need for fresh corpses for medical research (and lack of willing donors) left doctors' associations with little other recourse but to accept stolen cadavers, maintaining plausible deniability by not asking too many questions.

graverobbing may strike the reader as callous, heartless, and reprehensible, but the open-minded among us should remember, you can't take it with you

n. In Christian countries, the day after the baseball game.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the earliest iteration of the popular 90's toy Etch-A-Sketch

a process of converting someone to a specific belief, perspective, or series of behavior processes. These methods vary by culture, and by government. an ancient alien race known as the reapers may or may not be the originators of these complex and multi-faceted techniques of behavior (and thought) modification.

(also: military)
(also: minecraft)

(n.) a food with extra carbohydrate covering

Consciousness of a brief immunity from something disagreeable.

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Stunning events cast their shadows before.
—Scampbell
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Archaic practices designed to rob scalps and backs of the most pleasurable sensation the nerve endings within can experience.

(n.) A slimy friend who can give 4 hugs at the same time

A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.
(also: PHONOGRAPH)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) one who exists to prevent things from happening, on the off-chance those things might be dangerous.

(adjective):
The blissful feeling that washes over you when the universe aligns perfectly, like finding a matching pair of socks on the first try or experiencing the elusive "plop" sound when plunging a clogged toilet.


(also: acting like it is not sexual)

a group of individuals who verbally, physically, mentally, and legally submit periods of service to the needs of their country. Historically, support and approval of military has highs and lows, globally. Historically, most needs of military members are not fully honored by the countries they submit service to.

(also: oath)
(also: vow)
(also: submit)

(n.) the frog's wartier, homelier cousin

a game where you wait in line, shoot a basketball, get back in line, shoot again, nope, you missed, now wait for the next game.

Anything you easily realize with your senses, though it can be a feeling, emotion or a fact - e.g. cold, pain, need to run, shame, depression, someone's hate towards other, thrill, fear, broad stupidity your hate (the kind that makes you kill someone), that communism is bad, h (I'm from Czech republic, russian communism took us fifty years and expelled us from modern Europe), that and so on. It overflows from just knowing it to feeling it in your brain or even whole body.
Physically good song can be the one that makes you dance or feel like flying, physical stupidity takes your speech, physical inspiration is the state where you have to make it happen.

Specifically, a cave-dweller of the paleolithic period, after the Tree and before the Flat. A famous community of troglodytes dwelt with David in the Cave of Adullam. The colony consisted of "every one that was in distress, and every one that was in debt, and every one that was discontented" — in brief, all the Socialists of Judah.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

one who attempts to defend an idea without letting on that they find it defensible

a dance where you are forcibly frolicked around a circle