Definition in theory: A cooperative roleplaying game where the players interact with the world and characters of the Dungeon Master's creation, and roll dice to determine the success or failure of their outcomes.

Definition in reality: An absolutely chaotic choose-own-adventure where the players get into every shenanigan possible, the DM constantly weighing their questions of “can I do this random bullshit?” against the rules, story, and overall balance of the game, and an absolute blast of a game that leaves everyone involved excited for next session.

“I heard you're playing Dungeons and Dragons, Jimmy! Haha, you're such a nerd!”
“We managed to con an evil wizard out of some very powerful items by wining a rap battle. He got mad and tried to kill us. We put him in a magical box with a bunch of huge, angry hamsters and watched then fight to the death. If that makes me a nerd, Carl, then I'll happily accept the title.”
“...soooo, that actually sounds kinda fun. When's your next session, and can I play too?”

a sound that is played by many instruments that people love to hear

n. One of Imagination's most precious possessions.

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The rising People, hot and out of breath,
Roared round the palace: "Liberty or death!"
"If death will do," the King said, "let me reign;
You'll have, I'm sure, no reason to complain."
—Martha Braymance

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

An adherent without sense.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place.
In Boorioboola-Gha a man is presentable on occasions of ceremony if he have his abdomen painted a bright blue and wear a cow's tail; in New York he may, if it please him, omit the paint, but after sunset he must wear two tails made of the wool of a sheep and dyed black.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.

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But yesterday I should have thought me blest
To stand high-pinnacled upon the peak
Of middle life and look adown the bleak
And unfamiliar foreslope to the West,
Where solemn shadows all the land invest
And stilly voices, half-remembered, speak
Unfinished prophecy, and witch-fires freak
The haunted twilight of the Dark of Rest.
Yea, yesterday my soul was all aflame
To stay the shadow on the dial's face
At manhood's noonmark! Now, in God His name
I chide aloud the little interspace
Disparting me from Certitude, and fain
Would know the dream and vision ne'er again.
—Baruch Arnegriff

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It is said that in his last illness the poet Arnegriff was attended at different times by seven doctors.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a bunch of weird rituals and confected historical narratives intended to make fraternities for the middle-aged seem more respectable and mysterious. the rites and practices of freemasonry are very secretive and not shared with outsiders on pain of severe punishment; these practices can however be read about in countless publicly-available books on the subject

(n.) the act of hurling someone out of a window. No, that's actually it.

An abstract word with a negative connotation, long on power, short on truth. An obscene mask painted on the mean face of a shrewd vulgarian for the purpose of dominating the multitude of sentimentalist idiots and imbeciles.

(n.) a force. the water we swim through, in every conscious and unconscious moment, and take woefully for granted.

(also: death)
(also: this is water)

a device used to convert electricity into a lack of productivity.

A condition experience by anerobic humans when they leave the relative safety of their small, intenstine-like basements.

A magical device for sedentary lifestyle enthusiasts that lovingly cushions your butt cheeks, like the babysitter your parents threatened to kill.
(also: enthusiasts)
(also: cushions)
(also: babysitter)

A writer whose imagination concerns itself with supernatural phenomena, especially the doings of spooks. One of the most illustrious spookers of our time is Mr. William D. Howells, who introduces a well-credentialed reader to as respectable and mannerly a company of spooks as one could wish to meet. To the terror that invests the chairman of a district school board, the Howells ghost adds something of the mystery enveloping a farmer from another township.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a variety of music that gives one the impression of being bearhugged by a fat, friendly bavarian even when none are present

(adj.) sure, maybe, but don't count on it.

(also: up in the air)
(also: tba)
(also: tbd)
not (also: carved in stone)

adj. Less objectionable.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.
(also: logic)

a butterfly that George Washington defeated at the battle of milky weed

(also: benedict luna moth)