(n.) a dining room cabinet or sideboard, short enough to serve as a secondary table, in which one (presumably one unwilling to admit they have a problem) may store their booze.

the name 'credenza' comes to us from italian, and means 'trusted one,' apparently because these cabinets were where food was taste-tested for poison before being presented to the pope

(1845 – 1923) German physicist who discovered electromagnetic waves or X-rays.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: wilhelm conrad roentgen quotes)

when you ride a bike without the seat on just the pole

(also: pole dancing)

A weird white liquid comes from the mammal's breast.

To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a habit of highly successful people

n. A vitreous plane upon which to display a fleeting show for man's disillusion given.
The King of Manchuria had a magic looking-glass, whereon whoso looked saw, not his own image, but only that of the king. A certain courtier who had long enjoyed the king's favor and was thereby enriched beyond any other subject of the realm, said to the king: "Give me, I pray, thy wonderful mirror, so that when absent out of thine august presence I may yet do homage before thy visible shadow, prostrating myself night and morning in the glory of thy benign countenance, as which nothing has so divine splendor, O Noonday Sun of the Universe!"

Pleased with the speech, the king commanded that the mirror be conveyed to the courtier's palace; but after, having gone thither without apprisal, he found it in an apartment where was naught but idle lumber. And the mirror was dimmed with dust and overlaced with cobwebs. This so angered him that he fisted it hard, shattering the glass, and was sorely hurt. Enraged all the more by this mischance, he commanded that the ungrateful courtier be thrown into prison, and that the glass be repaired and taken back to his own palace; and this was done. But when the king looked again on the mirror he saw not his image as before, but only the figure of a crowned ass, having a bloody bandage on one of its hinder hooves—as the artificers and all who had looked upon it had before discerned but feared to report. Taught wisdom and charity, the king restored his courtier to liberty, had the mirror set into the back of the throne and reigned many years with justice and humility; and one day when he fell asleep in death while on the throne, the whole court saw in the mirror the luminous figure of an angel, which remains to this day.

(also: life lessons from boomers)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Is this real life? Or is it just fantasy?
Cause in a landslide with no escape from reality.
Open your eyes.
Look to the skies and seeeee.

(n.) the life of every party, a light source dressed up with an attractive fabric covering. consider adopting a lamp today.

(n.) one of few surviving aquatic dinosaurs. serves as an inspiration for many middle aged men by compensating for its unimpressive build with a very dapper style of dress

afflicted with mental illness associated with the full moon. While often seen as an outdated, unscientific myth, it actually makes perfect sense because my bedroom faces east. I can't fall asleep in the full moon's light, and sleep deprivation is a known cause of cognitive impairment.

(n.) one who gives something, usually money or an organ, for the benefit of another.

not to be confused with a donut. A donut would not make a good organ transplant. believe me.

Stupid is as stupid does.
(also: stupid)

like clicking that (also: stupid)button

(also: deep thought)

A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

*This entry automatically adjusts itself to apply to the planet you are currently on.
(also: leaving the earth)
If the information below is not applicable to the planet on which you currently find yourself, then you are on the wrong planet and should rectify that at your earliest convenience.*

1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (713) 483-3111. Explain that it's very important that you get away as soon as possible.(also: nasa)
2. If they do not cooperate, phone a friend you might have in the White House- (202) 456-1414- to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.
3. If you don't have any friends in the White House, phone the Kremlin (Ask the overseas operator for 0107-095- 295-9051). They don't have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you might as well try.(also: white house)
4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 001-39-6-6982, and I gather that his switchboard is infallible.(also: pope)
5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it's vitally important you get away before your phone bill arrives.

A race of ancient killers of mice and small birds. They merely tolerate humans thanks large to our ancestors viewing that as gods and feeding them. Mainly the feeding. They are ancient foes of the dogs.

An imaginary state or quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.
The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: "I don't agree with you," and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
(also: Gandhi)

(field.)Field of problems that affects everyone other than me.
(also: air pollution)
(also: world peace)

(n.) a really big fat rock that floats around in space.