military

thepoetziggy
a group of individuals who verbally, physically, mentally, and legally submit periods of service to the needs of their country. Historically, support and approval of military has highs and lows, globally. Historically, most needs of military members are not fully honored by the countries they submit service to.

(also: oath)
(also: vow)
(also: submit)

pittbull

improperquotes
Pittbull is an American music artist. It is widely believed that he is enjoyed but not a very good one.

For we're do the sails of life lead?
Rudderless in direction.
The captain knows
Yet lest we see
Blow winds to far off destinations.

- Pittbull (song: Timber feat. Ke$ha)

aging

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the hoary specter of death's pay-by-installment plan

(adj.) describing one who is in the process of mutating into a frailer, wrinklier, balder form of life

ley lines

trustycoffeemug
one of the more pervasive postulates in the field of hooey.

in summarium, the idea that veins of vague, unquantifiable "energy" crisscross the planet, intersecting at points of equally vague significance, usually ones humans handily chose to mark with photogenic landmarks such as stonehenge

equivalent to "dragon paths" in chinese culture, to "songlines" in australian aboriginal culture, and (functionally) to aliens building the pyramids in sane person culture.

ant

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a tiny little insect that compensates for its shrimpiness with endless reinforcements. attracted to exposed foodstuffs, some of the more vicious varieties bite. known also for its monarchist sympathies

ground

trustycoffeemug
(n.) 1) the broad, flat thing that would kill you if you fell from a great height. the thing you are most likely standing on whenever gravity works as intended; 2) the dead remains of coffee

(v.) 1) to confine a young person to their room, as punishment for misbehavior; 2) to confine electric currents to an equalized surface, as punishment for trying to zap people

ground is a lot of things, it transpires.

intelligence

douglas adams
Thirty million generations of philosophers have debated the definition of intelligence. The most popular definition appears in the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation android manuals:
"Intelligence is the ability to reconcile totally contradictory situations without going completely bonkers. For example, having a stomach ache and not having a stomach ache at the same time, holding a hole without the doughnut, having good luck and bad luck simultaneously, or seeing a real estate agent waive his fee."
(also: philosophy)
(also: mice)

sheriff

the devils dictionary
In America the chief executive office of a county, whose most characteristic duties, in some of the Western and Southern States, are the catching and hanging of rogues.

John Elmer Pettibone Cajee
(I write of him with little glee)
Was just as bad as he could be.

'Twas frequently remarked: "I swon!
The sun has never looked upon
So bad a man as Neighbor John."

A sinner through and through, he had
This added fault: it made him mad
To know another man was bad.

In such a case he thought it right
To rise at any hour of night
And quench that wicked person's light.

Despite the town's entreaties, he
Would hale him to the nearest tree
And leave him swinging wide and free.

Or sometimes, if the humor came,
A luckless wight's reluctant frame
Was given to the cheerful flame.

While it was turning nice and brown,
All unconcerned John met the frown
Of that austere and righteous town.

"How sad," his neighbors said, "that he
So scornful of the law should be —
An anar c, h, i, s, t."

(That is the way that they preferred
To utter the abhorrent word,
So strong the aversion that it stirred.)

"Resolved," they said, continuing,
"That Badman John must cease this thing
Of having his unlawful fling.

"Now, by these sacred relics" — here
Each man had out a souvenir
Got at a lynching yesteryear —

"By these we swear he shall forsake
His ways, nor cause our hearts to ache
By sins of rope and torch and stake.

"We'll tie his red right hand until
He'll have small freedom to fulfil
The mandates of his lawless will."

So, in convention then and there,
They named him Sheriff. The affair
Was opened, it is said, with prayer.
—J. Milton Sloluck


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

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