Every German who chugs a beer! Every Zulu with an assegai spear!
Every Chinaman in a junk! Every Mexican in a trunk!
Every Bedouin on a dune! Every Frenchman playing Claire de Lune!
Every Syrian and Kazakhstani! Every Giorgio and his Armani!
Every Spaniard playing second flute! Every Dane, Norwegian and Aleut!
Every single guy who's Aborigine! Every Englishman who's Walter Pidgeon-y
From Hollywood, home of big celebrities- to Vanuatu in the Outer Hebrides!
From New Yorkers eatin' steak tartare! To every friend of Pablo Escobar!
From the Taiwanese and Cuban Petes, to the Russians with their soup of beets
Every Tamil, Tatar, Thai, Tibetan; everybody else that we're forgettin'
Everyone from Niger, Tonga, Bali; the French Sudan which is now called Mali
Everybody up in Katmandu! Every Canadian, cuz we're there too
Every Tajikistani with a yak! Every Bolivian in a sack!
Every caner in Singapore! Everybody who's really sore!
Every Turk in a Teaneck diner, or South African diamond miner
Every gypsy playin' finger cymbals! Everyone who ever shopped at Gimble's
We are there.

a weapon utilized for a brief time in the 19th century which proves that something primarily intended to be cool usually winds up being very stupid indeed

named for les apaches, a hardened street gang which terrorized paris in la belle époque, this weapon consisted of a cheaply made pepperbox pistol with a brass knuckleduster in place of a proper grip, and a low-grade knife blade protruding from the barrel like a bayonet

naturally, the gun bit was about as accurate as a coked-up economist and the knife bit had only marginally more shear strength than play-doh, so in effect les apaches were famous for more or less ruining a perfectly functional set of brass knuckles.

(n.) a revolting little filth beetle that is in the running for ultimate life form on the planet

(1509 – 27 May 1564) Christian theologian who developed a strict brand of Protestant Christianity which stressed the doctrine of predestination.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: john calvin quotes)

Fun fact: italians are either the best people ever, or racists

source: i'm italian

(n.) what will eat the world whole, if allowed.

(also: arrogance)

(also: advice)

A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A performance given without a preparation.

One who submits to death rather than do something more disagreeable to him. The distinction between martyrdom and mere assassination is not always clear to the victim.
(also: victim)
(also: the devils dictionary)

A form of incantation to conjure up a hope that is to be exorcised later by inattention.

“A man with outward courage dares to die; a man with inner courage dares to live.”
― Lao Tzu
(also: Lao Tzu)

(noun phrase) A whirlwind of nerves, anticipation, and boundless enthusiasm as a teacher steps into the classroom for the very first time. It's a symphony of introductions, establishing authority, and setting the stage for a year of growth. Excitement mingles with jitters as the teacher navigates a delicate balance of creating a welcoming environment, building connections with students, and conveying a passion for learning. It's a pivotal moment, a blank canvas waiting to be filled with knowledge, inspiration, and the joy of discovery.

(also: i left my textbook at home)

a legendary monster made up by the people of far-off wisconsin in a desperate attempt to convince people to go there and buy merchandise. clear parallels can be detected between the aliens supposedly seen in roswell, new mexico; mothman in parts of west virginia; and leonardo dicaprio in hollywood.

in any case, supposedly the hodag looks a bit like someone added a lot of spikes and fangs to a bull.

adj. "Raised" instead of brought up.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A place where ships taking shelter from storms are shattered by customs officers.
(also: ship)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of the human mind and has a fair prospect of existing with increasing activity to the end of time.
(also: truthful)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

just like depression, it keeps you down.

(1879 – 1955) German/ US scientist discovered Theory of Relativity.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: albert einstein quotes)