Size. Magnitude being purely relative, nothing is large and nothing small. If everything in the universe were increased in bulk one thousand diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remained unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been. To an understanding familiar with the relativity of magnitude and distance the spaces and masses of the astronomer would be no more impressive than those of the microscopist. For anything we know to the contrary, the visible universe may be a small part of an atom, with its component ions, floating in the life-fluid (luminiferous ether) of some animal. Possibly the wee creatures peopling the corpuscles of our own blood are overcome with the proper emotion when contemplating the unthinkable distance from one of these to another.

n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A certain literary quality frequently observed in popular novels, especially in those written by women and young girls, who give it another name and think that in introducing it they are occupying a neglected field of letters and reaping an overlooked harvest. If they have the misfortune to live long enough they are tormented with a desire to burn their sheaves.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

tomato is a roundish (usually) fruit with seeds inside, that is suitable for eating raw or cooked. Works well in salads, soup, stews, grilled, fried, and other cooking methods. Can be pronounced multiple ways. Tomatoes come in a range of shapes and sizes and even colors. They are sometimes the cause of debate, as some people classify them as vegetables rather than fruits because of how they are used in food. Tomatoes are one of the most commonly eaten foods (in various forms) - for example ketchup and tomato sauce are one of the most popular condiments in the world.

(1870 – 1924) Leader of the Russian Revolution and new Communist regime from 1917 to 1924.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: lenin quotes)

One who foregoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) Taking a utilitarian, thrifty attitude towards human remains.

(adj.) surpassing the surly bonds of our own mundane experiences in its singular excellence; nonexistent.

(n.) an oxymoron. you either have your one (1) top priority, or you're diluting the concept and rendering it ineffective as such.

(also: halfway to nowhere)

A republican form of government deriving its powers from the conceit of the governed — in thinking they govern.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

I'm sorry

(adj.) sinister; causing unease.

one may think of a house that has these qualities as a spookhouse. but we don't advise this.

a mound-shaped sandy island with a diameter of one meter having a single coconut palm

(n.) a terrorist who works with the good guys

(also: terrorist)

A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.
(also: space)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(double U) has, of all the letters in our alphabet, the only cumbrous name, the names of the others being monosyllabic. This advantage of the Roman alphabet over the Grecian is the more valued after audibly spelling out some simple Greek word, like epixoriambikos. Still, it is now thought by the learned that other agencies than the difference of the two alphabets may have been concerned in the decline of "the glory that was Greece" and the rise of "the grandeur that was Rome." There can be no doubt, however, that by simplifying the name of W (calling it "wow," for example) our civilization could be, if not promoted, at least better endured.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The finished product of which we are the raw material. The contents of the Taj Mahal, the Tombeau Napoleon and the Grantarium. Worms'-meat is usually outlasted by the structure that houses it, but "this too must pass away." Probably the silliest work in which a human being can engage is construction of a tomb for himself. The solemn purpose cannot dignify, but only accentuates by contrast the foreknown futility.

---

Ambitious fool! so mad to be a show!
How profitless the labor you bestow
Upon a dwelling whose magnificence
The tenant neither can admire nor know.

Build deep, build high, build massive as you can,
The wanton grass-roots will defeat the plan
By shouldering asunder all the stones
In what to you would be a moment's span.

Time to the dead so all unreckoned flies
That when your marble is all dust, arise,
If wakened, stretch your limbs and yawn —
You'll think you scarcely can have closed your eyes.

What though of all man's works your tomb alone
Should stand till Time himself be overthrown?
Would it advantage you to dwell therein
Forever as a stain upon a stone?
—Joel Huck
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) an expression meaning something is straightforward, obvious; not complicated or obscure.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ExactlywhatItSaysOnTheTin

Avtomat Kalashnikova model of 1947, more commonly known as the AK-47, or Kalashnikov. It's the worlds most popular assault rifle, a weapon all fighters love. An elegantly simple nine pound amalgamation of forged steel and plywood, it doesn't break, jam, or overheat. It will fire whether it's covered in mud or filled with sand. It's so easy even a child could use it, and they do. The Soviets put the gun on a coin. Mozambique put it on their flag. Since the end of the Cold War, the Kalashnikov has become the Russian people's greatest export. After that comes vodka, caviar, and suicidal novelists. One thing is for sure, no one was lining up to buy their cars.

(n.) fun how it's short for original gangster, but could also simply be short for (o)ri(g)inal.

(also: original)