Butcher
(also: butcher)

Certain abstentions.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A race of ancient killers of mice and small birds. They merely tolerate humans thanks large to our ancestors viewing that as gods and feeding them. Mainly the feeding. They are ancient foes of the dogs.

(adj.) suffering, as a result of alcohol, from reduced good judgment and impaired sense of balance, but with the positive effect of total immunity from criticism and greater insight into hidden or nonexistent beauty

also (n.) one who frequently and uncontrollably becomes drunk

Every German who chugs a beer! Every Zulu with an assegai spear!
Every Chinaman in a junk! Every Mexican in a trunk!
Every Bedouin on a dune! Every Frenchman playing Claire de Lune!
Every Syrian and Kazakhstani! Every Giorgio and his Armani!
Every Spaniard playing second flute! Every Dane, Norwegian and Aleut!
Every single guy who's Aborigine! Every Englishman who's Walter Pidgeon-y
From Hollywood, home of big celebrities- to Vanuatu in the Outer Hebrides!
From New Yorkers eatin' steak tartare! To every friend of Pablo Escobar!
From the Taiwanese and Cuban Petes, to the Russians with their soup of beets
Every Tamil, Tatar, Thai, Tibetan; everybody else that we're forgettin'
Everyone from Niger, Tonga, Bali; the French Sudan which is now called Mali
Everybody up in Katmandu! Every Canadian, cuz we're there too
Every Tajikistani with a yak! Every Bolivian in a sack!
Every caner in Singapore! Everybody who's really sore!
Every Turk in a Teaneck diner, or South African diamond miner
Every gypsy playin' finger cymbals! Everyone who ever shopped at Gimble's
We are there.

A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
A pessimist applied to God for relief.

"Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness," said God. "No," replied the petitioner, "I wish you to create something that would justify them."

"The world is all created," said God, "but you have overlooked something — the mortality of the optimist."

(n.) chaining yourself to an anchor and throwing yourself out to sea... except the anchor is a thick collection of personal beliefs that things are not good now and cannot change (or be changed), e.g. for the better; and the sea is life.

these anchors are sticky and hard to break, I know. so fight (or dance! sometimes you gotta switch the MO) with everything you have, to crash your previous relating to the world: life owes me, people don't love me, they don't respect me, and so on.
start building up whatever emotional need you have -- from within. people don't love you? ok, love yourself. love yourself like your life depends on it. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15704926-love-yourself-like-your-life-depends-on-it life owes you? give your care, your attention, some skill, and make a habit of it in some definite (if small) way; and breathe; and you will know your rewards.
"make like a tree and have a long, stable life benefitting those around you."

(also: black-pilled)
(also: learned helplessness)
(also: doom and gloom)
(also: doomer)

(also: gold-pilled)
(also: stoicism)
(also: serenity prayer)
(also: solarpunk)
(also: long view)

A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

---

The Enemy of Human Souls
Sat grieving at the cost of coals;
For Hell had been annexed of late,
And was a sovereign Southern State.

"It were no more than right," said he,
"That I should get my fuel free.
The duty, neither just nor wise,
Compels me to economize —
Whereby my broilers, every one,
Are execrably underdone.
What would they have? — although I yearn
To do them nicely to a turn,
I can't afford an honest heat.
This tariff makes even devils cheat!
I'm ruined, and my humble trade
All rascals may at will invade:
Beneath my nose the public press
Outdoes me in sulphureousness;
The bar ingeniously applies
To my undoing my own lies;
My medicines the doctors use
(Albeit vainly) to refuse
To me my fair and rightful prey
And keep their own in shape to pay;
The preachers by example teach
What, scorning to perform, I preach;
And statesmen, aping me, all make
More promises than they can break.
Against such competition I
Lift up a disregarded cry.
Since all ignore my just complaint,
By Hokey-Pokey! I'll turn saint!"
Now, the Republicans, who all
Are saints, began at once to bawl
Against his competition; so
There was a devil of a go!
They locked horns with him, tête-à-tête
In acrimonious debate,
Till Democrats, forlorn and lone,
Had hopes of coming by their own.
That evil to avert, in haste
The two belligerents embraced;
But since 'twere wicked to relax
A tittle of the Sacred Tax,
'Twas finally agreed to grant
The bold Insurgent-protestant
A bounty on each soul that fell
Into his ineffectual Hell.
—Edam Smith
(also: donald trump)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.
(also: women)
(also: queen elizabeth i)
(also: governing people)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a creature with the head of a deer, the feet of a rabbit, and a long ratlike tail, as well as a distinctive tummy-pouch. astoundingly enough, this creature really does exist, though predictably only in australia

n. One who steals a whole herd of cattle, as distinguished from the inferior actor who steals one animal at a time—a superior stock actor, as it were.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

someone who is nervous and irritatable

making the beast with two backs when you've only got the one back

there are two kinds of people in the world, those who just got done masturbating and those who are still doing it right now

(n.) plural = teeth

those little bone nubs in your mouth that help you tear up food

(n.) a board game derived from earlier antecedents in Persia or China, in which players must use lesser pieces to successfully capture the enemy king

considered a good way to teach tactical thinking, presumably for some upcoming war where both sides politely take turns, held entirely on a featureless flat plane

Simp is a word used specaly by kids for describing any male in a relation with a female(friends or lovers),or the other meaning that is a man too attentive and submissive to women.

(n.) nature's hat. one of the few remaining patches of fur covering left on earth's dominant bald apes (see human)

A place to collect expensive games, only to end up with none that you want to play. (also: water vapor)

n. A financial doctrinaire in 1896; in 1904 a purveyor of "crow" to the masses.
(also: list of all isms)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a strong stimulant which promises to transform a sluggish old workhorse into an alert young stallion, at the price of also becoming a bad-tempered and aggressive onager.

their appeal may possible be explained thus: there are very few fat meth users (though there is at least a little overlap in that particular Venn diagram; see trucker)

also called "meth" for those who prefer more streamlined speech