superhero teacher

sese
(noun phrase) The caped crusader of education, equipped with an arsenal of dry-erase markers and a utility belt stocked with endless supplies of patience. They possess the extraordinary ability to keep a straight face while defusing classroom chaos and turning learning into a thrilling adventure. With their superhuman multitasking skills, they grade papers at the speed of light and deliver knowledge with the power of a thousand encyclopedias.


(also: my dog ate my homework)

mail

nightowl
"Mail" (also know as "post") is a purely human and entirely abstract concept developed in most civilised (and uncivilised) civilisations. It refers to the means by which information is transferred from deliverer to reciever, usually by that of an archaic paper-based medium, or its electronical equivalent.

The concept of mail was briefly considered on the planet Joquin Deux, but was quickly disregarded as little more than a modern fad. The way in which the Joquinths would deliver their mail was via psychic projection; shooting the information across the planet as wavelengths, to be sent directly into the head of the intended recipient. Some complaint ensued, however, as the physical sensation of info-waves penetrating the skull was found to resemble that of a gunshot; the bi-weekly delivery of 'How To Get Ahead in Marvolian Advertising' being frequently mistaken for assassination attempts. Upon receiving your mail on Joquin Deux, always be sure to check for an exit wound.

Ex. "Ah, I see the mail has been delivered. Not, in fact, my soul. That was a close one."

apache pistol

trustycoffeemug
a weapon utilized for a brief time in the 19th century which proves that something primarily intended to be cool usually winds up being very stupid indeed

named for les apaches, a hardened street gang which terrorized paris in la belle époque, this weapon consisted of a cheaply made pepperbox pistol with a brass knuckleduster in place of a proper grip, and a low-grade knife blade protruding from the barrel like a bayonet

naturally, the gun bit was about as accurate as a coked-up economist and the knife bit had only marginally more shear strength than play-doh, so in effect les apaches were famous for more or less ruining a perfectly functional set of brass knuckles.

to husband

orikami
(v.) to use a valuable thing or resource carefully. to not waste it.

"[these snails] would attach themselves to a convenient branch, construct a thin, paper like front door over the mouth of the shell, and then retreat deep into its convolutions in order **to husband** the moisture in their bodies from the fierce heat of the sun." -- Birds, beasts and relatives by Gerry Durrell

monarch

the devils dictionary
n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn. In Russia and the Orient the monarch has still a considerable influence in public affairs and in the disposition of the human head, ((also: vladimir putin)) but in western Europe political administration is mostly entrusted to his ministers, he being somewhat preoccupied with reflections relating to the status of his own head.

(also: governing people)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

california

trustycoffeemug
(n.) an unexpectedly successful colony of the americas originally established as a free range insane asylum. currently a popular destination for sun and sand, until people actually go there and see how little of both there actually is

free time

kivi
A period of leisure, which, when looked at closely, often consists of aimlessly scrolling through social media feeds and refreshing emails, interspersed with fleeting moments of productivity that are quickly overshadowed by feelings of guilt and self-doubt.

It is a peculiar phenomenon that one can simultaneously feel both bored and overwhelmed during free time, as if the endless possibilities of what to do next are both too many and too mundane.

discord

orikami
(n.) disagreement.
as highlighted by the two previous posts in this section, it is actually disconcerting how the people behind the chat app decided to name it because, and I quote, "the word had something to do with talking, sounded cool, was easily pronounceable, memorable, and had an available domain name."
something to do with talking, you guys. just think of the crazy level of vague thought embedded in that statement (in the context of naming your company & product, a pretty big deal!)

dungeons and dragons

thesidequester
Definition in theory: A cooperative roleplaying game where the players interact with the world and characters of the Dungeon Master's creation, and roll dice to determine the success or failure of their outcomes.

Definition in reality: An absolutely chaotic choose-own-adventure where the players get into every shenanigan possible, the DM constantly weighing their questions of “can I do this random bullshit?” against the rules, story, and overall balance of the game, and an absolute blast of a game that leaves everyone involved excited for next session.

“I heard you're playing Dungeons and Dragons, Jimmy! Haha, you're such a nerd!”
“We managed to con an evil wizard out of some very powerful items by wining a rap battle. He got mad and tried to kill us. We put him in a magical box with a bunch of huge, angry hamsters and watched then fight to the death. If that makes me a nerd, Carl, then I'll happily accept the title.”
“...soooo, that actually sounds kinda fun. When's your next session, and can I play too?”

mechanical watches

tome of magnus
A mechanical marvel, that is powered by a mighty mainspring, which sends power through, typically, 4 gears and their pinions to a finely tuned balance. All that only to tell you the time of day.
Many watches also possess extra functions (or complications) such as:
-stopwatches (chronographs)
-showing the current date
-the ever beloved automatic winding of the mainspring

Though not as needed in the current times, they still are beautiful constructs, used to show status, or just to look nice.

(also: digital watches)
(also: time)

symbolic

the devils dictionary
Pertaining to symbols and the use and interpretation of symbols.

They say 'tis conscience feels compunction;
I hold that that's the stomach's function,
For of the sinner I have noted
That when he's sinned he's somewhat bloated,
Or ill some other ghastly fashion
Within that bowel of compassion.
True, I believe the only sinner
Is he that eats a shabby dinner.
You know how Adam with good reason,
For eating apples out of season,
Was "cursed." But that is all symbolic:
The truth is, Adam had the colic.
—G.J.
(also: symbol)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

incest

trustycoffeemug
(n.) when members of the same family take on romantic relationships with one another; one of those things that is viewed as disgusting and reprehensible in the lower class but respectable and proper in the upper class

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