An animal (Porcus omnivorus) closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the ability to hold the interest of another, regardless of how nonsensical the things you say might be

(n.) a thing in the middle (see monkey, malcolm)

usually refers specifically to the thing in the middle of an atom

(n.) the red juice that makes one alive

the state of zoning out often experienced when controlling a 2-ton piece of metal going at inhuman speeds

(adj.)

1) nervous, jumpy; more jittery than a green snake in a sugarcane plantation

2) avant-garde and trendmaking; for some reason, this usually equates to taking a corny cartoon made for immature children and retooling it into a grim cartoon for immature teenagers

A smartphone sold my the company apple.

(also: smartphone)

(n.) a dipping device too big to be a spoon (to show you mean business) and too small to be a shovel (to show you're not insecure)

(v.) scooping things with a scooping motion often by using a scoop

a misunderstood free system of exchange that helps you move to the big city and get vaccinated on schedule

a Day when people should try to make you feel happy, but give you simply presents instead.

Usually, you don't even get a breakfest in Bed (.

(also: pantaloons)

(6th century BC) Principal figure of Jainism.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: mahavira quotes)

(n) that sort of fibrous, hairy looking frost that you sometimes see if the weather is just right

you thought it was something else, didn't you? admit it

The major problem - one of the major problems, for there are several - one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.
To summarize: it is a well known fact, that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.
To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

(also: people)
(also: problem)

(adj.) separate and distinct, as in pieces, like the body parts of one's relatives after one has offended the local mafioso

to be confused with discreet

(n.) a tiny little insect that compensates for its shrimpiness with endless reinforcements. attracted to exposed foodstuffs, some of the more vicious varieties bite. known also for its monarchist sympathies

adj. Pertaining to a kind of marriage between a man of exalted rank and a woman of low degree by which the wife gets nothing but a husband, and not much of a husband. From Morgan (J. P.), a king of finance, by a transaction with whom nobody gets anything at all.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a piano haunted by the ghost of a pianist, left to forever play whatever piece it was that led to his death.

A mobile phone which has a touchscreen and can run a multitude of different apps like video games or social media

(also: mobile phone)
(also: social media)
(also: video games)

a chronic condition characterized by sudden and uncontrollable onset of sleep. the main thing to remember about narcolepsy iszzzzzzzzzz...