platter

the devils dictionary
A senseless thing that holds food without eating it.

She uttered her mind, without ceasing:
And this is the thought that it carried.
"I fear that your love is decreasing.
How is it, dear, now that we're married?"

Replied that aciduous sinner,
Fatigued of her reasonless chatter:
"When a fellow has eaten his dinner
He doesn't make love to the platter"
—Belijah H. Bimbee
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

paper-pusher

orikami
(n.) if you gotta push some papers around, ok, sure; but if something awful happens on your watch, don't pass it off with the excuse of "I was just doing my job". you are still instilled with the gift and the responsibility to stay aware of your surroundings, your actions and consequences, and to stay connected with your soul.
https://medium.com/the-retrospective/hannah-arendt-on-the-banality-of-evil-4e75fd840c68

(also: bullshit jobs)
the harms of (also: balkanization)
the harms of (also: decontextualization)

graverobbing

trustycoffeemug
one of the less savory human avocations, the act of graverobbing amounts to theft of a corpse or its sundry accoutrements from their proper place of internment.

graverobbing has been an epidemic concern at various points in history. for example, in egypt, even in ancient times (when it was better known as ancient egypt), the elaborate tombs of pharaohs were tempting targets for taphological treasure-hunting transgressors, who would seek to pillage not only the gold ornaments with which pharaohs were buried, but also occasionally the mummies themselves (apparently they were considered to have medicinal purposes. mmm, human jerky)

graverobbing was also a source of concern in victorian england, as the need for fresh corpses for medical research (and lack of willing donors) left doctors' associations with little other recourse but to accept stolen cadavers, maintaining plausible deniability by not asking too many questions.

graverobbing may strike the reader as callous, heartless, and reprehensible, but the open-minded among us should remember, you can't take it with you

excuses to be disrespectful

trustycoffeemug
* Because one wishes to express animosity towards another
* Because one wishes to emphasize a more casual company in which strict etiquette need not be adhered to and offense need not be taken
* Because one knows full well the other person will be in their company so often that NOT forgiving disrespect would become tedious

banana

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a fruit hailing from southeast asia and oceania, known for its beguilingly-elongated, whimsically-curved shape, and the ease with which its rind can be removed. actually neither of those qualities exists within natural, grown-in-the-wild bananas; both were engineered into the fruit by godless human meddling.

common cartoon knowledge holds the banana to be a favorite repast of the monkey.

dirndl

panthera uncia
Dirndl - the traditional dress of women in Bavaria and Austria. Can sometimes be very low cut, but either way, it's cute as hell. Like the two-plaited women wearing them

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