pie

the devils dictionary
An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.

Cold pie was highly esteemed by the remains.
—The Rev. Dr. Mucker, in a funeral sermon over a British nobleman

Cold pie is a detestable
American comestible.
That's why I'm done — or undone —
So far from that dear London.
—From the Headstone of a British Nobleman, in Kalamazoo
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

small dog

orikami
(n.) a specimen of utter dependency and helplessness. often equipped with such sad eyes and default facial expressions.
perhaps the sadness of the toys they have access to playing with -- the supposed, pale mimicry of real prey -- is too much for them to bear.

the finger

trustycoffeemug
a wonderfully obscene and versatile hand gesture consisting of a balled fist save for one raised middle finger, knuckles facing the target of your ire.

symbolically represents a visiting ambassador from a faraway land rich in all the ***loves*** I don't give.

ninja

trustycoffeemug
(n.) heir to a centuries-long tradition of warlord-employed assassins and spies hailing from japan. very easily identified by distinctive black full-body pajamas (one would think this might interfere with the spying and assassinating but evidently not)

seal

the devils dictionary
A mark impressed upon certain kinds of documents to attest their authenticity and authority. Sometimes it is stamped upon wax, and attached to the paper, sometimes into the paper itself. Sealing, in this sense, is a survival of an ancient custom of inscribing important papers with cabalistic words or signs to give them a magical efficacy independent of the authority that they represent. In the British museum are preserved many ancient papers, mostly of a sacerdotal character, validated by necromantic pentagrams and other devices, frequently initial letters of words to conjure with; and in many instances these are attached in the same way that seals are appended now. As nearly every reasonless and apparently meaningless custom, rite or observance of modern times had origin in some remote utility, it is pleasing to note an example of ancient nonsense evolving in the process of ages into something really useful. Our word "sincere" is derived from sine cero, without wax, but the learned are not in agreement as to whether this refers to the absence of the cabalistic signs, or to that of the wax with which letters were formerly closed from public scrutiny. Either view of the matter will serve one in immediate need of an hypothesis. The initials L. S., commonly appended to signatures of legal documents, mean locum sigillis, the place of the seal, although the seal is no longer used — an admirable example of conservatism distinguishing Man from the beasts that perish. The words locum sigillis are humbly suggested as a suitable motto for the Pribyloff Islands whenever they shall take their place as a sovereign State of the American Union.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

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