A small European animal that is kind enough to lend its name to the American tongue as a euphemism for that of the native skunk, than which it is esteemed more genteel. Like the skunk, however, it makes music for the deaf when kicked.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) when the flesh is (sometimes inconveniently) willing, though the spirit may or may not be

(n.) the non-union, discounted equivalent of a penguin

(n.) a member of an organization for young boys so that they may engage in outdoorsmanship, civic virtue and charity mugging; also someone who has the corny sense of morality attributed to such a person

---

be prepared! that's the boy scout's marching song. be prepared! as thru life you go along
be prepared to hide your liquor pretty well. don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell
be prepared! to hide that pack of cigarettes. don't make book, if you cannot cover bets
keep those reefers hidden where you're sure they won't be found
be careful not to smoke them when the scoutmaster's around
for he only will insist that they be shared- be prepared!

be prepared! that's the boy scout's solemn creed. be prepared! and be clean in word and deed
don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice (unless you get a good percentage of her price)
be prepared! and be careful not to do your good deed, when there's no-one watching you
if you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind
and you come across a girl scout who is similarly inclined
don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared- be prepared!
-tom lehrer

emphatic term for butt

To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument; as, "He presided at the piccolo."

---

The Headliner, holding the copy in hand,
Read with a solemn face:
"The music was very uncommonly grand —
The best that was ever provided,
For our townsman Brown presided
At the organ with skill and grace."
The Headliner discontinued to read,
And, spreading the paper down
On the desk, he dashed in at the top of the screed:
"Great playing by President Brown."
—Orpheus Bowen
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(noun):
Hilariously disastrous stories that make you question humanity's ability to navigate the simplest of tasks, like opening a door or using a toaster without setting the house on fire.

(also: tales from pizza guy)

Santa Claus for adults

The soul mate of a sad moth,and you separated them.

mathematical function defined as the value obtained when 'tan(x)' is put into a calculator

(n.) a north american hybrid between a dog and a hobo.

(AD 50 – 121) Inventor of paper.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: ts'ai lun quotes)

To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a professional who upholds the rule of law by finding ways for people to get around it

(n.) that which helps establish a rhythm and a balance to poetry. feel the flow of your words and thoughts, don't force it. forced rhymes are like nails on a chalkboard, and no one wants that.
unsurprisingly, it is etymologically (thereby, historically and psychologically) connected both to mathematics, precision, reason, as well as to soul, flow, symmetry. a bridge between oft-warring factions (of science and spirituality).

earlier, also written as:
(also: rime)
(also: rhime)

the point at which you are most expected to pay attention

people you're bound to by blood and birth, with no choice in the matter (also: hematology)

n. An American sovereign in his probationary state.



(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) one with admirable qualities worthy of emulation and laudable achievement, like being a main character; one who is not a zero

not a greek sandwich

(n.) the life of every party, a light source dressed up with an attractive fabric covering. consider adopting a lamp today.