a competitive recreational activity. exists for the detriment of schoolchildren so they may build character, as well as for the benefit of the gambling community.

"real" sports: football, hockey, tennis, basketball, baseball, pugilism, allegedly lacrosse and polo in places where rich people are found

"not real" sports (that is, possibly made up on the spot as an elaborate prank): curling, cricket

(n.) noodles prepared by italians, as opposed to noodles prepared by east asian people, which are referred to as "takeout"

(v.) acting out of a belief that being good in one situation then allows you to be a dick in another.

https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/why-good-deeds-can-cause-moral-backsliding.html

(adj.) winding down, coming to an end (of a chapter), releasing the spoils of war (& life).

(also: moon)
(also: wheel of life)
(also: wheel of fortune)
(also: shape of stories)

a blind human who insists that every sighted person is a liar

(n.) an academic discipline that discusses and researches the motions of physical bodies, from tiny atoms up to massive stars and our entire galaxy.

physics was invented when archimedes was running home from the bathhouse to write down his thoughts on fluid displacement; he slipped and fell into a temporal anomaly, landing on the head of isaac newton, who thus also got some neat ideas about gravity in one of history's rare twofers.

... well, okay, it wasn't exactly that, but it was something like that.

(n.) a simp

An average sized man who was born on an island, and died on a different island. He als had some interesting adventures in between.

A computer built by a race of hyperintelligent pan-dimensional beings to calculate once and for all the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything, to which the answer is 42.

This computer was so large that it was frequently mistaken for a planet - especially by the strange ape-like beings who roamed its surface, totally unaware that they were simply part of a gigantic computer program. And this is very odd, because without that fairly simple and obvious piece of knowledge, nothing that ever happened on the Earth could possibly make the slightest bit of sense.

Sadly however, just before the critical moment of readout, the Earth was unexpectedly demolished by the Vogons to make way - so they claimed - for a new hyperspace bypass, and so all hope of discovering a meaning for life was lost for ever.

(n.) a comic presented to its audience through the power of the web. the web provides a platform on which comics need not be subject to the gimlet eye and cruel iron fist of the newspaper syndicate, thus freeing webcomic creators to fully realize their true creative vision (usually furry porn)

a genre of comedy where you empathize with people, making you laugh

n. A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a sensation that follows right after one gets one's hopes up, during which the hopes come crashing down and break into shards of bitter, bitter reality.

(n.) when thing go boom big

(noun) A spicy candy that dares you to eat more than one, tempting fate with each fiery bite. The preferred snack of daredevils and masochists.

(v.) to have a wandering conversation that allows you to get to know another person more deeply.
https://www.yarning.com.au/what-is-yarning
(also: australian)

yarning vs. waffling
(also: waffling)

(n.) the cockroach of the sea, considered more palatable than its land dwelling cousin

“Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.”
― Victor Hugo

to torture someone who may or may not be guilty until they tell you they're guilty

(n.) a complex thingy made of various interconnected bits of stuff. the web of a spider is made of silken strands strewn in a net-shape between tree branches and other detritus. the web of political intrigue is made of backstabs and power-grabs strewn between taxpayer dollars.

alternatively, "web" may also be a distinctly radical way of saying "the internet."