the first person to agree with me

n. The collective body of the writings of all mankind, excepting Hubert Howe Bancroft and AdairWelcker. Theirs are Illiterature.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A follower of Achilles — particularly when he didn't lead.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.

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They took away his vote and gave instead
The right, when he had earned, to eat his bread.
In vain — he clamors for his "boss," pour soul,
To come again and part him from his roll.
—Offenbach Stutz

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a cold private place perfectly designed for awkward teenage encounters of a sexual nature

(n.) professional term for a bruisey kind of boo-boo

anyone who doesn't wanna go to war

https://youtube.com/shorts/g_ZtAouHEO0?feature=share

n.
1. A certain person who is much in society, but whom one does not meet. A bad one.
2. The Adversary of Souls, considered under one of his many charming aspects.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper. In his character of editor he is closely allied to the blackmailer by the tie of occasional identity; for in truth the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent species. Lickspittling is more detestable than blackmailing, precisely as the business of a confidence man is more detestable than that of a highway robber; and the parallel maintains itself throughout, for whereas few robbers will cheat, every sneak will plunder if he dare.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n., verbal form sodomize) an extremely delicate matter; something sailors do after they get bored of rum and the lash

the mysterious otherworldly creature that fuels our imagination and fear

(also: other people)

(n.) the grinning killer of the ocean depths, a squeaking sexual predator, a maritime molester, a blowholed bastard, a swirling nest of aquatic evil

considered one of nature's surprisingly intelligent animals

A term used to explain the concept of infinite regression.

(also: infinite regression)

quotation marks used to denote that you totally did not just use that word.

To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument; as, "He presided at the piccolo."

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The Headliner, holding the copy in hand,
Read with a solemn face:
"The music was very uncommonly grand —
The best that was ever provided,
For our townsman Brown presided
At the organ with skill and grace."
The Headliner discontinued to read,
And, spreading the paper down
On the desk, he dashed in at the top of the screed:
"Great playing by President Brown."
—Orpheus Bowen
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

All men are assured the first death, which is otherwise known as sleep, and then judgement. The second death is when The Lord no longer thinks of you and casts you into the fiery hell.

To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(adj.) first, you have people creating something, exploring it, shaping it, embracing it. and then, someone comes and declares that it's some rule- and etiquette-bound contest. someone wants to be a middleman and get a cut of the cultural profit (also: cred) for doing not much of anything, by drawing and upholding such lines. keep the highbrow-clean-safe-technical-predictable in, and keep the inspired-shocking-crumbling-developing out. the judgment-perversion sneaks its foothold in, and then some next generation grows up thinking *the lines* are the whole of the importance of the thing!
strange how it comes about, eh?..

not (also: original)
not (also: authentic)
(also: gatekeeping)
(also: middlemen)
(also: social games)
(also: excuses to not live)

part of the former yugoslavia, known mostly for

...

well, this is awkward

A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)