an American holiday where people with salaried office jobs get the day off and everyone else still has to serve them.

adj. Not understood.
(also: the devils dictionary)

(n.) a mythical figure associated with the christian solstice holiday; a figure of terror who embodies wretched material excess while engaging in breaking-and-entering and contemptuous neglect of international borders

To speak quietly enough so as not to be heard, yet loudly enough so as to make the people on the adjacent table aware they are being complained about.

Not to be confused with "shoomble", which refers to black markets exclusively trading in niche items.

Ex. "I swear they stole our wine menus," she shumbled from Table 7. "I'm going to steal them back when they're not looking."
"I swear they stole our wine menus," he shumbled from Table 5. "That's why I stole them back when they weren't looking."
"Fools", shumbled the waiter from the foyer. "With all these wine menus, I could start a shoomble."

(1028 – 1087) First Norman King of England
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: william the conqueror quotes)

a mainstream religion that predominates throughout the western world. it purports to follow the teachings of jesus christ/jesus of nazareth, a sectarian leader from roman-occupied judea some 2000 years ago, regarded as a divine figure (either god or a relative of His) by christians. jesus taught many things, but since almost nobody can agree on what exactly they were, discussing these things is a bit difficult.

christianity comes in a number of flavors.
--catholicism: more or less original recipe christianity, supposedly founded by jesus' friend peter, who tried to bring his teachings to rome and in doing so was crucified upside down and became known as the first pope. catholics favor big cathedrals and elaborate vestments, and a complicated hierarchy of bishops, priests, deacons, monks and nuns, and thus they're the only denomination that gets to fight demons in the movies. practically any denomination that is not catholic is protestant.
--other episcopal denominations, who like the vestments and complicated hierarchy but don't want to follow the pope, resulting in a number of schisms. includes the egypt-based coptic church which broke away in 42 AD; the greek-based eastern orthodox church, which broke away in 1054; the german-based lutheran church that broke away in 1517; the england-based anglican church which broke away in 1534; and the episcopaleans who are basically anglican but refuse to acknowledge anything from england.
--then there's a bunch of denominations that don't like having elaborately-dressed bishops or cathedrals at all, so they settle mostly for button down shirts and office buildings: see presbyterians, baptists, and the red-headed stepchild of the family tree, the mormons

as might be inferred, it's a whole big thing.

a song that constantly plays in the background whenever italian things are happening

you know the one i mean.

(n.) a middle tier tyrant, above school principals but below agents of the government; roughly on the same level as a landlord but ruling at a place of work rather than domestic environment.

Mediocre actress and controversial public figure

An imaginary state or quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.
The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: "I don't agree with you," and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A period of leisure, which, when looked at closely, often consists of aimlessly scrolling through social media feeds and refreshing emails, interspersed with fleeting moments of productivity that are quickly overshadowed by feelings of guilt and self-doubt.

It is a peculiar phenomenon that one can simultaneously feel both bored and overwhelmed during free time, as if the endless possibilities of what to do next are both too many and too mundane.

Santa Claus for adults

A game said to be played with cards for some purpose to this lexicographer unknown.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

My Little Pony, or MLP, is a TV show born in the 1980s, though in the modern day it's much better known for its fourth generation and the interesting fandom born around it.

A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.

---

"Behold great Daubert's picture here on view —
Taken from Life." If that description's true,
Grant, heavenly Powers, that I be taken, too.
—Jali Hane
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.

---

The rimer quenches his unheeded fires,
The sound surceases and the sense expires.
Then the domestic dog, to east and west,
Expounds the passions burning in his breast.
The rising moon o'er that enchanted land
Pauses to hear and yearns to understand.
—Mowbray Myles
(also: rime)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) person who obsesses over frogs, sweater weather by the neighborhood and catches feelings for all of their friends; (also: me )

(n.) a possibly nonexistent place to which the soul will supposedly immigrate following death. in the west such a place would generally be referred to as heaven if it's a good place and hell if it's a bad one.

(phrase) The brilliant work of fiction crafted by a cunning student, blending elements of forgetfulness and deception into a tapestry of plausible deniability. A tall tale that seeks to absolve oneself from the burden of unfinished assignments, with a touch of theatrical regret and a sprinkle of innocent confusion. A calculated gambit aimed at evoking sympathy, begging forgiveness, and avoiding the consequences of procrastination. A clever ploy that tests the patience and discernment of teachers, exposing the delicate dance between trust and skepticism in the realm of academia.

you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes, where they going, where they been.