(n.) a room above your house, for storing old things and providing a sporting hiding place for menacing intruders

Enough.

(1721 – 1725) Russian Emperor who expanded the Tsarist Empire to make Russia European power.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: peter the great quotes)

One of the Creator's lamentable mistakes, repented in sashcloth and axes. Being instated as an archangel, Satan made himself multifariously objectionable and was finally expelled from Heaven. Half-way in his descent he paused, bent his head in thought a moment and at last went back. "There is one favor that I should like to ask," said he.
"Name it."

"Man, I understand, is about to be created. He will need laws."

"What, wretch! you his appointed adversary, charged from the dawn of eternity with hatred of his soul — you ask for the right to make his laws?"

"Pardon; what I have to ask is that he be permitted to make them himself."

It was so ordered.
(also: god)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the non-union, discounted equivalent of a penguin

n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."
— Calcraft the Hangman.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a situation in which ideas can compete and evolve to be most agreeable with people's biases

enthrallingly off-putting

a prank where you forcibly submerge someone's head into a shallow ceramic pool of rushing water for several seconds

to look at products longingly

A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.

---

The devil casting a seine of lace,
(With precious stones 'twas weighted)
Drew it into the landing place
And its contents calculated.

All souls of women were in that sack —
A draft miraculous, precious!
But ere he could throw it across his back
They'd all escaped through the meshes.
—Baruch de Loppis

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

"you're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece!"

-a carefully crafted insult intended to describe one whose appearance might be called grabastic

Common; customary. In the Southwestern States of the Union this word is pronounced ornery and means ugly — a striking testimony to the prevalence of the disagreeable.

Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word have been affirmed, but so high an authority as Father Jape says that it comes from a very obvious source — the first words of the ancient Latin hymn Te Deum Laudamus. In this apparently natural derivation there is something that saddens.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The feeling of intense contentment and excitement while watching your pet (or your fav hooman) cuddle/lay next to you .

(also: Happiness ) Cloud11

the devil's dictionary

the last year

(also: year)

A filial coup de grâce whereby one is released from the lingering torments of paternity.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the act of putting something off until... ah screw it

(n.) a portal to other worlds. record your dreams & mine them for riches.