smithareen

the devils dictionary
A fragment, a decomponent part, a remain. The word is used variously, but in the following verses on a noted female reformer who opposed bicycle-riding by women because it "led them to the devil" it is seen at its best:

The wheels go round without a sound —
The maidens hold high revel;
In sinful mood, insanely gay,
True spinsters spin adown the way
From duty to the devil!
They laugh, they sing, and — ting-a-ling!
Their bells go all the morning;
Their lanterns bright bestar the night
Pedestrians a-warning.
With lifted hands Miss Charlotte stands,
Good-Lording and O-mying,
Her rheumatism forgotten quite,
Her fat with anger frying.
She blocks the path that leads to wrath,
Jack Satan's power defying.

The wheels go round without a sound,
The lights burn red and blue and green.
What's this that's found upon the ground?
Poor Charlotte Smith's a smithareen!
—John William Yope

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

i forgot to bring my homework

snape
(phrase) The brilliant work of fiction crafted by a cunning student, blending elements of forgetfulness and deception into a tapestry of plausible deniability. A tall tale that seeks to absolve oneself from the burden of unfinished assignments, with a touch of theatrical regret and a sprinkle of innocent confusion. A calculated gambit aimed at evoking sympathy, begging forgiveness, and avoiding the consequences of procrastination. A clever ploy that tests the patience and discernment of teachers, exposing the delicate dance between trust and skepticism in the realm of academia.

tariff

the devils dictionary
A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

The Enemy of Human Souls
Sat grieving at the cost of coals;
For Hell had been annexed of late,
And was a sovereign Southern State.

"It were no more than right," said he,
"That I should get my fuel free.
The duty, neither just nor wise,
Compels me to economize —
Whereby my broilers, every one,
Are execrably underdone.
What would they have? — although I yearn
To do them nicely to a turn,
I can't afford an honest heat.
This tariff makes even devils cheat!
I'm ruined, and my humble trade
All rascals may at will invade:
Beneath my nose the public press
Outdoes me in sulphureousness;
The bar ingeniously applies
To my undoing my own lies;
My medicines the doctors use
(Albeit vainly) to refuse
To me my fair and rightful prey
And keep their own in shape to pay;
The preachers by example teach
What, scorning to perform, I preach;
And statesmen, aping me, all make
More promises than they can break.
Against such competition I
Lift up a disregarded cry.
Since all ignore my just complaint,
By Hokey-Pokey! I'll turn saint!"
Now, the Republicans, who all
Are saints, began at once to bawl
Against his competition; so
There was a devil of a go!
They locked horns with him, tête-à-tête
In acrimonious debate,
Till Democrats, forlorn and lone,
Had hopes of coming by their own.
That evil to avert, in haste
The two belligerents embraced;
But since 'twere wicked to relax
A tittle of the Sacred Tax,
'Twas finally agreed to grant
The bold Insurgent-protestant
A bounty on each soul that fell
Into his ineffectual Hell.
—Edam Smith
(also: donald trump)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

hobo

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the romanticized image of a homeless vagabond, often depicted as a lovably unshaven traincar-hopping bum clad in battered clothing, whose meager belongings are carried over the shoulder on a bindle.

this depiction is, admittedly, slightly at odds with the type of homeless person one tends to meet in practice.

world peace

thelostghostofnietzsche
A peace only achievable via massive amounts of warfare. It has only been achieved once after World War II. Only twenty minutes and ended with the French Captian Boniface Martin calling the British General Ashton Chesterfield a right British twat and proclaimed his intention of defiling his wife with his French penis.

marriage

thelostghostofnietzsche
A contractual alliance typically between two parties where they agree to share assets and debts. Typical sexual and procreational exclusivity clauses are usually among the first listed in the contract. Comes with an NDA for cases of criminal charges underneath the constitution. The one land only socially accepted escape clause on death of one of the contract holders. However, there exist a method of contractual termination without having activating the escape clause. This method requires documents filled with the appropriate court system and a temporary termination of the contract for a period of sixty to three hundred sixty four days before it can be finalized.

galago

trustycoffeemug
(n.) also called the bush baby and the night monkey, a small, nocturnal, arboreal creature from africa, known for its large ears and big sad eyes that would, on consideration, probably be horrifying if you saw them starting at you in the dead of night.

somewhat resemble a more athletic tarsier, and as a relative of the loris and lemur, a distant cousin of humanity much like the hobbit.

mount everest

boo
(n.) /ˌmaʊnt ˈɛvərɪst/ - The highest mountain in the world, located in the Himalayas between Nepal and Tibet. Its summit reaches an elevation of 29,032 feet (8,849 meters) above sea level, making it a challenging and dangerous feat to climb. Despite its treacherous reputation, climbers from all over the world attempt to conquer the mountain every year, drawn by the allure of standing at the top of the world and the bragging rights that come with it.

difficult

orikami
(n.) the cult of diffi. it's super hush-hush, I wouldn't expect anyone to have heard of it.
(adj.) a person who cannot get along with the common social norms (hence, the need to join a cult or become a hermit).

(also: cult)

cult

orikami
(n.) what inevitably happens when you cut off the tail end of culture and leave it hanging, when you rip the religion (aka nascent metaphysics) out of a culture's foundation and deem it 'passe', 'ignorant' or some such without providing a suitable alternative. a bastard child of culture who, on a bad day, develops bpd, does coke, and engages in love-bombing, isolation, gaslighting and other manipulation.

(also: culture)
(also: religion)
(also: metaphysics)

cold

trustycoffeemug
(adj.) the condition of low temperature, pertaining variously to the weather, to food, to a sensation experienced when one touches a physical surface, to the cruel behavior of my heartless ex-wife, and various other referents

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