(n.) a pair of organs that are somewhere in the backish region or thereabouts, probably slightly above the buttocks

like a slightly disgusting reservoir, the kidney filters toxins out of the bloodstream and directs them to the bladder so that they may be appropriately vented somewhere discreet like the neighbor's fence

grown-up word for umbrella step

In the manner of a traveling railroad magnate.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
(also: period)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
(also: Gandhi)

(n.) the hoary specter of death's pay-by-installment plan

(adj.) describing one who is in the process of mutating into a frailer, wrinklier, balder form of life

(n.) one in a never-ending series of new ideas (including nationality, religion, and boredom) which has inspired human beings to violent conflict. it involves something to do with workers and production, etc. etc.

The original John Henry, this 1st century folk hero died building inroads as fast as the emperor of Rome.

I'm Spartacus

(n.) highly inadvisable activities characterized by being really fun

(also: bacchanalia)

one whose spending is not thrifty

a very big and pointy rock that thrusts upwards from the surface of the earth, as though a magnificent pimple or blackhead on our planet's glorious face. i guess the sinkholes are sweat glands, or something. but never mind.

the climbing of a mountain is sometimes considered a form of recreation, evidently because it's there

An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
(also: alexander graham bell)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A sovereign's right to do wrong.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A filthy paste of servitude, tyranny, fetishism, fear, vanity — and ignorance. The greatest offence one can commit against an ass is to call it a man.

(n.) implement used by one to bring harm onto another, thus sparking off the central intrigue of civilization

“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
― Marilyn Monroe
(also: life)
(also: Marilyn Monroe)

(n.) supposedly that which separates human beings from lowly animals, since animals are influenced largely by desire for things like food, water, and shelter, whereas humans are influenced by much more sophisticated things political demagoguery and subliminal advertising

they're pretty much all like this

In financial affairs, to contribute to the development of a transfer company — one that transfers money from the pocket of the investor to that of the promoter.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)