A certain quality of the human hand in its relation to the coin of the realm. It attains its highest development in the hand of authority and is considered a serviceable equipment for a career in politics. The following illustrative lines were written of a Californian gentleman in high political preferment, who has passed to his accounting:

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Of such tenacity his grip
That nothing from his hand can slip.
Well-buttered eels you may o'erwhelm
In tubs of liquid slippery-elm
In vain — from his detaining pinch
They cannot struggle half an inch!
'Tis lucky that he so is planned
That breath he draws not with his hand,
For if he did, so great his greed
He'd draw his last with eager speed.
Nay, that were well, you say. Not so
He'd draw but never let it go!
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The original John Henry, this 1st century folk hero died building inroads as fast as the emperor of Rome.

(also: spreading democracy)

A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can with some difficulty be made, and which is used also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread per capita of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

To tipple, booze, swill, soak, guzzle, lush, bib or swig. In the individual, toping is regarded with disesteem, but toping nations are in the forefront of civilization and power. When pitted against the hard-drinking Christians the abstemious Mahometans go down like grass before the scythe. In India one hundred thousand beef-eating and brandy-and-soda-guzzling Britons hold in subjection two hundred and fifty million vegetarian abstainers of the same Aryan race. With what an easy grace the whisky-loving American pushed the temperate Spaniard out of his possessions! From the time when the Berserkers ravaged all the coasts of western Europe and lay drunk in every conquered port it has been the same way: everywhere the nations that drink too much are observed to fight rather well and not too righteously. Wherefore the estimable old ladies who abolished the canteen from the American army may justly boast of having materially augmented the nation's military power.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a religion that is not big enough to be dogmatic, but refuses to stay in its lane as independent spirituality until it becomes big enough.

That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning — which is a phenomenon. Nevertheless, the discovery and exposition of noumena offer a rich field for what Lewes calls "the endless variety and excitement of philosophic thought." Hurrah (therefore) for the noumenon!

a play that's supposed to be pretty good or something. sprung from the mind of william shakespeare.

it's the tale of a prince of denmark whose father dies mysteriously, and he comes to believe his uncle killed said father for the throne after he either a) receives a visit from said father's ghost or b) merely hallucinates seeing the ghost. the rest of the play consists of him trying to trip his uncle into admitting it while he makes lots of vagina jokes, and in the end everyone dies. also there are two clowns who keep showing up to caper around so that the main actors have a chance to change costumes.

at least, i think that's the gist of it. it's kinda hard to make sense of all this iambic pentameter.

has very little to do with canadian bacon or british bacon

me

an intern, but less boring

An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.

A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called "trousers" by the enlightened and "pants" by the unworthy.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

an aphrodisiac given to someone else to override their romantic will

(n.) a place for a judge to decide who wins an argument and who has to pay what to whom. 2) in medieval times, a body of officials, retainers, servants, ministers, and assorted other lickspittles who attend on a king or lord

(v.) to attempt strategically to persuade another to have sex with you

(adj.) not in accordance with or otherwise disregarding the dictates of law. describing an action best taken well out of sight of all unbribed authority figures

(n.) nature's hat. one of the few remaining patches of fur covering left on earth's dominant bald apes (see human)

“I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.”
― Kurt Cobain

(n.) one of nature's freakier little bastards, widely reviled for its scuttling posture, venom dripping chelicerae, and beady little clusters of eyes, not to mention its devious use of snares to capture unsuspecting prey. comes in distressingly large sizes and one is watching you almost constantly

(noun):
A mythological figure in spandex, armed with superpowers and a wardrobe that defies practicality. They battle villains, save the day, and occasionally face existential crises about their secret identities.

(also: superhero)
(also: american art of saving the day)