(phrase) The brilliant work of fiction crafted by a cunning student, blending elements of forgetfulness and deception into a tapestry of plausible deniability. A tall tale that seeks to absolve oneself from the burden of unfinished assignments, with a touch of theatrical regret and a sprinkle of innocent confusion. A calculated gambit aimed at evoking sympathy, begging forgiveness, and avoiding the consequences of procrastination. A clever ploy that tests the patience and discernment of teachers, exposing the delicate dance between trust and skepticism in the realm of academia.

An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A bird whose thievish disposition suggested to some one that it might be taught to talk.

A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.

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Sharp, irresistible by mail or shield,
By guard unparried as by flight unstayed,
O serviceable Rumor, let me wield
Against my enemy no other blade.
His be the terror of a foe unseen,
His the inutile hand upon the hilt,
And mine the deadly tongue, long, slender, keen,
Hinting a rumor of some ancient guilt.
So shall I slay the wretch without a blow,
Spare me to celebrate his overthrow,
And nurse my valor for another foe.
—Joel Buxter
(also: humor)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A sacred rite of such efficacy that he who finds himself in heaven without having undergone it will be unhappy forever. It is performed with water in two ways—by immersion, or plunging, and by aspersion, or sprinkling.

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But whether the plan of immersion
Is better than simple aspersion
Let those immersed
And those aspersed
Decide by the Authorized Version,
And by matching their agues tertian.
—G.J.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

People petting you for no real reason.

A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

I wish I could explain this, but there's just.. something I'm missing. Something that, if I had it, would allow me to more easily explain this to people, regardless of the difficulty of understanding the concept itself. Some skill, some quality describing either myself or the ease with which I explained things to others.

If only I knew what that was called, so I could look it up, come to understand it, and hone it within myself, until I had so much.. so much SOMETHING that I could effectively explain what it means to have perspicuity.

But alas. I don't have enough of that word, that concept that would allow as much

n. A child of two races, ashamed of both.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

sitting on a moving truck-car on a seat covered with hay not because you enjoy it but because you're not going to let fall pass by without once sitting on a moving truck-car on a seat covered with hay

someone who goes around and kills. Knights also kill, so that makes the knight-errant a hero too, right?

1847 – 1922) – Scottish inventor of the telephone.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: alexander graham bell quotes)

Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.
(also: american)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a party dude

One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

an affirmation of maximum certainty and assuredness that something will be accomplished or carried out. a vow may be of peace or inaction, such as that of a pacifist. A vow may be of action, such as that of a soldier promising to deliver a memento to a loved one.

(also: military)
(also: oath)

“Whatever you are, be a good one.”
― Abraham Lincoln
(also: Abraham Lincoln)

to parade (your pet) around.

(n.) slang, with enthusiasm!

(also: verve)
(also: spunk)
(also: pluck)

(also: азарт)

(also: slang)

n. The kind of political and social reformer who is more concerned to bring others down to his plane than to lift himself to theirs.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)