mustard

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a somewhat popular condiment commonly enjoyed on emulsified meat tubules, pulverized cow viscera, and sometimes pretzels.

the snobbish moutardier should always remember this mnemonic: if it's tangy and yella, you got crap there, fella. if it's gritty and brown, you're in quality town.

trichinosis

the devils dictionary
The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.

Moses Mendelssohn having fallen ill sent for a Christian physician, who at once diagnosed the philosopher's disorder as trichinosis, but tactfully gave it another name. "You need an immediate change of diet," he said; "you must eat six ounces of pork every other day."

"Pork?" shrieked the patient — "pork? Nothing shall induce me to touch it!"

"Do you mean that?" the doctor gravely asked.

"I swear it!"

"Good! — then I will undertake to cure you."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

zeal

the devils dictionary
ZEALA certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth before a sprawl.
When Zeal sought Gratitude for his reward
He went away exclaiming: "O my Lord!"
"What do you want?" the Lord asked, bending down.
"An ointment for my cracked and bleeding crown."
—Jum Coople
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

rhyme

orikami
(n.) that which helps establish a rhythm and a balance to poetry. feel the flow of your words and thoughts, don't force it. forced rhymes are like nails on a chalkboard, and no one wants that.
unsurprisingly, it is etymologically (thereby, historically and psychologically) connected both to mathematics, precision, reason, as well as to soul, flow, symmetry. a bridge between oft-warring factions (of science and spirituality).

earlier, also written as:
(also: rime)
(also: rhime)

media

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the catch-all term for nationally-syndicated televised news programs; these can be thought of as analogous to cartoons, only viewed by old people (though the cartoons tend to leave the viewer more stable)

antelope

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a category of hoofed animal known for its graceful fragility, probably one of those humanity will wipe out someday. Damn humanity.

many incredible antelope variations exist, particularly in africa; for example, the kudu, the oryx, the wildebeest, the diuker, and the dikdik. wait, that can't be right. dikdik? really? huh.

methamphetamine

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a strong stimulant which promises to transform a sluggish old workhorse into an alert young stallion, at the price of also becoming a bad-tempered and aggressive onager.

their appeal may possible be explained thus: there are very few fat meth users (though there is at least a little overlap in that particular Venn diagram; see trucker)

also called "meth" for those who prefer more streamlined speech

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