a quote whose author needn't be MLA-cited

(n.) a reptilian animal that was at the back of the queue when evolution was handing out limbs

(n.) a party that celebrates surviving one year past a certain event. if the event is a birth it's called a birthday

(n.) activity meant to occupy most of a person's life, both to keep the person out of trouble and to help establish their value to society, which is represented by money

(also: job)

a mission statement about getting rid of the dictionary's rules or, alternatively, a (rap rock/ hip hop/ satire) band
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down_with_Webster

(also: webster)

(n.) that wire chicken you sometimes see perched on top of buildings, pointing in the direction of the wind.

also called a weathercock. under no circumstances should you compress both of these words together to create a vaneycock.

(n.) the eternal cycle of violence and poor career decisions which keeps us all occupied until death

The quality of seeing a problem and seeing a solution while doing the most horrid things to get what you want

(259 – 210 BC) – King of the state of Qin who conquered and united different regions of China in 221 BC.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: shih huang ti quotes)

n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers — particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives. Lead is also of great service as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.

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Hail, holy Lead! — of human feuds the great
And universal arbiter; endowed
With penetration to pierce any cloud
Fogging the field of controversial hate,
And with a swift, inevitable, straight,
Searching precision find the unavowed
But vital point. Thy judgment, when allowed
By the chirurgeon, settles the debate.
O useful metal! — were it not for thee
We'd grapple one another's ears alway:
But when we hear thee buzzing like a bee
We, like old Muhlenberg, "care not to stay."
And when the quick have run away like pullets
Jack Satan smelts the dead to make new bullets.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
Formerly, painting and sculpture were combined in the same work: the ancients painted their statues. The only present alliance between the two arts is that the modern painter chisels his patrons.
(also: art)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(adj.) not in accordance with or otherwise disregarding the dictates of law. describing an action best taken well out of sight of all unbribed authority figures

“He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect for more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you.”
― Bob Marley
(also: Bob Marley)

flɔrɪdə/ (noun): a state in the southeastern United States, known for its warm climate, beaches, and tourist attractions. Florida is pronounced as "FLAW-ruh-duh" or "FLOR-uh-duh" in the IPA. It is also where "Florida man" lives

(n.) the knowledge that something inadvisable would be enjoyable, generally meant to be resisted to avoid consequences

In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.

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Having received an ultimatum from Austria, the Turkish Ministry met to consider it.

"O servant of the Prophet," said the Sheik of the Imperial Chibouk to the Mamoosh of the Invincible Army, "how many unconquerable soldiers have we in arms?"

"Upholder of the Faith," that dignitary replied after examining his memoranda, "they are in numbers as the leaves of the forest!"

"And how many impenetrable battleships strike terror to the hearts of all Christian swine?" he asked the Imaum of the Ever Victorious Navy.

"Uncle of the Full Moon," was the reply, "deign to know that they are as the waves of the ocean, the sands of the desert and the stars of Heaven!"

For eight hours the broad brow of the Sheik of the Imperial Chibouk was corrugated with evidences of deep thought: he was calculating the chances of war. Then, "Sons of angels," he said, "the die is cast! I shall suggest to the Ulema of the Imperial Ear that he advise inaction. In the name of Allah, the council is adjourned."

(also: war)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) one who is foolish or contemptible; the word, originally Hebrew, is widely recognized as an inherently funny one to say

(n.) a singular falsehood soon to be joined by other lies

It's coming any second now

In politics the party that prevents the Government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
The King of Ghargaroo, who had been abroad to study the science of government, appointed one hundred of his fattest subjects as members of a parliament to make laws for the collection of revenue. Forty of these he named the Party of Opposition and had his Prime Minister carefully instruct them in their duty of opposing every royal measure. Nevertheless, the first one that was submitted passed unanimously. Greatly displeased, the King vetoed it, informing the Opposition that if they did that again they would pay for their obstinacy with their heads. The entire forty promptly disemboweled themselves.

"What shall we do now?" the King asked. "Liberal institutions cannot be maintained without a party of Opposition."

"Splendor of the universe," replied the Prime Minister, "it is true these dogs of darkness have no longer their credentials, but all is not lost. Leave the matter to this worm of the dust."

So the Minister had the bodies of his Majesty's Opposition embalmed and stuffed with straw, put back into the seats of power and nailed there. Forty votes were recorded against every bill and the nation prospered. But one day a bill imposing a tax on warts was defeated — the members of the Government party had not been nailed to their seats! This so enraged the King that the Prime Minister was put to death, the parliament was dissolved with a battery of artillery, and government of the people, by the people, for the people perished from Ghargaroo.