(n.) an expression meaning something is straightforward, obvious; not complicated or obscure.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ExactlywhatItSaysOnTheTin

An implement that cries aloud for hands accustomed to the pen.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The 947th method (according to Mimbleshaw's classification) of obtaining money by false pretences. It consists in "reading character" in the wrinkles made by closing the hand. The pretence is not altogether false; character can really be read very accurately in this way, for the wrinkles in every hand submitted plainly spell the word "dupe." The imposture consists in not reading it aloud.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“You never fail until you stop trying.”
― Albert Einstein
(also: Albert Einstein)

A species of tree having several varieties, of which the familiar "itching palm" (Palma hominis) is most widely distributed and sedulously cultivated. This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver. The metal will adhere with remarkable tenacity. The fruit of the itching palm is so bitter and unsatisfying that a considerable percentage of it is sometimes given away in what are known as "benefactions."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem — a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.

---

'Tis said by divers of the scholar-men
That poor Salmasius died of Milton's pen.
Alas! we cannot know if this is true,
For reading Milton's wit we perish too.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

One forgotten of the gods and living to a great age. History is abundantly supplied with examples, from Methuselah to Old Parr, but some notable instances of longevity are less well known. A Calabrian peasant named Coloni, born in 1753, lived so long that he had what he considered a glimpse of the dawn of universal peace. Scanavius relates that he knew an archbishop who was so old that he could remember a time when he did not deserve hanging. In 1566 a linen draper of Bristol, England, declared that he had lived five hundred years, and that in all that time he had never told a lie. There are instances of longevity (macrobiosis) in our own country. Senator Chauncey Depew is old enough to know better. The editor of The American, a newspaper in New York City, has a memory that goes back to the time when he was a rascal, but not to the fact. The President of the United States was born so long ago that many of the friends of his youth have risen to high political and military preferment without the assistance of personal merit. The verses following were written by a macrobian:

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When I was young the world was fair
And amiable and sunny.
A brightness was in all the air,
In all the waters, honey.
The jokes were fine and funny,
The statesmen honest in their views,
And in their lives, as well,
And when you heard a bit of news
'Twas true enough to tell.
Men were not ranting, shouting, reeking,
Nor women "generally speaking."

The Summer then was long indeed:
It lasted one whole season!
The sparkling Winter gave no heed
When ordered by Unreason
To bring the early peas on.
Now, where the dickens is the sense
In calling that a year
Which does no more than just commence
Before the end is near?
When I was young the year extended
From month to month until it ended.

I know not why the world has changed
To something dark and dreary,
And everything is now arranged
To make a fellow weary.
The Weather Man — I fear he
Has much to do with it, for, sure,
The air is not the same:
It chokes you when it is impure,
When pure it makes you lame.
With windows closed you are asthmatic;
Open, neuralgic or sciatic.

Well, I suppose this new régime
Of dun degeneration
Seems eviler than it would seem
To a better observation,
And has for compensation
Some blessings in a deep disguise
Which mortal sight has failed
To pierce, although to angels' eyes
They're visibly unveiled.
If Age is such a boon, good land!
He's costumed by a master hand!
—Venable Strigg

n. A small metal disk given as a reward for virtues, attainments or services more or less authentic.
It is related of Bismarck, who had been awarded a medal for gallantly rescuing a drowning person, that, being asked the meaning of the medal, he replied: "I save lives sometimes." And sometimes he didn't.
(also: war)
(also: sports)
(also: the devils dictionary)

One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

a prank where you forcibly submerge someone's head into a shallow ceramic pool of rushing water for several seconds

The place where the most people in the world talk trash about the military, but also the place where the most people in the world are married to military members, or professional affiliates.

(also: divorce rate)

describing the middle class who ascended to prominence and superceded the landed aristocracy in the seventeenth century. they successfully embarrassed their social betters by proving there was a path to success beyond an inborn divine mandate, while selling out the lower class by perpetuating the cycle of labor exploitation.

also their taste in decor leans incontestably toward the brummagem.

Pirates favourite beverage and a hell of a good time.
(also: alcohol)

(n.) a chunk of matter made of silicon deposits. of great interest to both geologists and hikers who need to pee

A concept that states a thing begets a thing begets a thing which in turn begets a thing without an end point or a beginning point

(1858 – 1947) German theoretical physicist who developed a theory of Quantum physics and discovered energy quanta.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: max planck quotes)

n. A crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman's adoration. "In a multitude of consellors there is wisdom," saith the proverb. If many men of equal individual wisdom are wiser than any one of them, it must be that they acquire the excess of wisdom by the mere act of getting together. Whence comes it? Obviously from nowhere — as well say that a range of mountains is higher than the single mountains composing it. A multitude is as wise as its wisest member if it obey him; if not, it is no wiser than its most foolish.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

exactly what it says on the tin.
not impossible, despite the popular belief and all those venn diagram memes about "choose 2 of 3"..
https://sive.rs/hsu

(also: omni-win)

(noun) /fæst fuːd/

A culinary masterpiece crafted with precision and lightning speed, designed to nourish your hunger while simultaneously shortening your lifespan. It's like a magic trick: one moment it's in your hand, the next moment it's clogging your arteries. Bon appétit, and good luck with your future heartburn!

(n.) a place that draws lines around itself to make it clear to the rest of the world that they are not a part of it