sex

trustycoffeemug
(n.) 1) the carnal realization of one's lascivious, most burning and animal of desires, usually in private environs to hide such dark passions from the disapproving eyes of prudish society

generally agreed by experts to not be all it's cracked up to be.

2) a trait that determines one's role in the reproductive process: male, female, or spectator. different from gender; get over it.

asmr

trustycoffeemug
"autonomous sensory meridian response:" a pleasurably shivery tingly sensation you get when you hear a sound you really like.

a surprising amount of online content has been created and put up on the internet, in order to help viewers experience this sensation.

... it's not pornography. we are assured that it is not pornography.

eclipse

jason
an occurrence in which the view of the sun or moon is obstructed by clouds, resulting in disappointment that you missed the eclipse

palmtop

jason
a computer that can be held in the palm. Smartphones are not palmtops because, in addition to making calculations, storing data, running programs, being programmable, and accessing the Internet, they can also make phone calls.

morning

the devils dictionary
n. The end of night and dawn of dejection. The morning was discovered by a Chaldean astronomer, who, finding his observation of the stars unaccountably interrupted, diligently sought the cause and found it. After several centuries of disputation, morning was generally accepted by the scientific as a reasonable cause of the interruption and a constantly recurrent natural phenomenon.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

olympian

the devils dictionary
Relating to a mountain in Thessaly, once inhabited by gods, now a repository of yellowing newspapers, beer bottles and mutilated sardine cans, attesting the presence of the tourist and his appetite.

His name the smirking tourist scrawls
Upon Minerva's temple walls,
Where thundered once Olympian Zeus,
And marks his appetite's abuse.
—Averil Joop

orphan

the devils dictionary
A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude — a privation appealing with a particular eloquence to all that is sympathetic in human nature. When young the orphan is commonly sent to an asylum, where by careful cultivation of its rudimentary sense of locality it is taught to know its place. It is then instructed in the arts of dependence and servitude and eventually turned loose to prey upon the world as a bootblack or scullery maid.

dream

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the late-night movie that plays within one's head while one is in the throes of sleep. a typical dream is likely to be some combination of unfocused, deranged, erotic, and terrifying.

a goodly amount of folklore surrounds the act of dreaming, with some believing them to be tinged with prophetic foresight or symbolic inner meaning. this is difficult to reconcile with the sheer weight of dreams of an erotic nature, since we all know that shit just ain't happening.

the everly brothers assure you that, should they want you and your charms in their arms, they may achieve this state of affairs within their dreams

(also: nightmare), for dreams that are scary
(also: wet dream), for dreams that are... wet.

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