(n.) life's way of screwing you out of half your Biblically allotted seventy-to-eighty years

the political concept that posits that left-wingers I disagree with and right-wingers I disagree with are equally wrong.

(noun):
A rollercoaster ride of emotions and events, packed into seven neatly organized compartments called days. It starts with the innocent optimism of Monday, where dreams of productivity collide with the reality of hitting the snooze button.

(also: weak)

(also: Monday)
(also: Tuesday)
(also: Wednesday)
(also: Thursday)
(also: Friday)
(also: Saturday)
(also: Sunday)

(n.) an ovular blob fruit, consisting of a scrubby fuzzy skin encasing a ball of green flesh with more seeds than a tommy gun magazine has bullets.

(n.) a flightless bird with scrubby fuzzy plumage

(n.) one hailing from new zealand, a scrubby fuzzy country that floats about near australia

all in all a very versatile word

An ox wearing the popular religious yoke.

(noun):maybe

n. An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as medicine, and now engaged in supplying art with an excellent pigment. He is handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.

---

By means of the Mummy, mankind, it is said,
Attests to the gods its respect for the dead.
We plunder his tomb, be he sinner or saint,
Distil him for physic and grind him for paint,
Exhibit for money his poor, shrunken frame,
And with levity flock to the scene of the shame.
O, tell me, ye gods, for the use of my rhyme:
For respecting the dead what's the limit of time?
—Scopas Brune

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) an oxymoron. you either have your one (1) top priority, or you're diluting the concept and rendering it ineffective as such.

(also: halfway to nowhere)

(n.) something that is not what it is perceived to be, like the way you perceive me as someone who gives a crap

A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) one whose job is to negotiate agreements between nations, which will later be broken as an excuse to have a war

(also: war)

the first person to agree with me

(n.) a choking, gasping, strangled bellowing that accompanies mirth. the best medicine, except for real medicine

(also: color)

(adj.) as in, caustic wit.

(also: biting)
(also: cutting)
(also: acidic)

(also: sarcasm)
(also: wit)
(also: humour)

The modern-day equivalent of a digital witch hunt fueled by outrage and virtue signaling.

(n.) when the flesh is (sometimes inconveniently) willing, though the spirit may or may not be

(v.) acting out of a belief that being good in one situation then allows you to be a dick in another.

https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/why-good-deeds-can-cause-moral-backsliding.html

(1816-1908): a frenchman and scientist in the field of biochemistry, and archenemy of louis pasteur. by modern reckoning pasteur won their last bout, by striking antoine's glass jaw of granular theory with the devastating right hook of germ theory

Dumb and illiterate.
(also: truth)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)