WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.

---

They took away his vote and gave instead
The right, when he had earned, to eat his bread.
In vain — he clamors for his "boss," pour soul,
To come again and part him from his roll.
—Offenbach Stutz

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

possibly derived from "looming naughties," which sums the concept up rather nicely

(n.) the bad thing that happens to balance the universe out after a good thing. sometimes vice versa

(adj.) gathering resources, gettin' plump, blooming, rising star shining bright.

(also: moon)
(also: wheel of life)
(also: wheel of fortune)
(also: shape of stories)

The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York. Its commonest expression is heard in the words, "I beg your pardon," and it is not inconsistent with disregard of the rights of others.

---

The owner of a powder mill
Was musing on a distant hill —
Something his mind foreboded —
When from the cloudless sky there fell
A deviled human kidney! Well,
The man's mill had exploded.
His hat he lifted from his head;
"I beg your pardon, sir," he said;
"I didn't know 'twas loaded."
—Swatkin

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

New York's ugly, unappreciated sister.

This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

(also: god)
(also: the creator)
(also: the universe)

(n.)as holy author said (eref: #70)

We are not experiencing what 3nd person from scientific articles, says. Philosophers and scientists still discussing about it.


(also: colour)

A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.
(also: space)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) what water?

(link is not broken, though it looks like it is)

(noun): The state of mind where you're not sure if you're one step away from a breakdown, or if everyone else is just really bad at dealing with life.

n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the study of ailments which exist only in the mind, though the bill, unfortunately, does not

a country spread across five islands in the easternmost part of east asia.

for some reason, frequently confused with china by outsiders, so let's get this out of the way:

china things: great walls. silken pajamas. jackie chan. mao zedong. confucius. crazy-ass operas.

japan things: ninja. samurai. sumo wrestlers. anime. cherry blossoms. mount fuji. karaoke.

things both places have: noodles. tea. buddhism. urban sprawl.

form of restaurant where they throw hot food at you

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication. It is credited by many of the elder zoölogists with a certain vestigial docility acquired in a former state of seclusion, but naturalists of the postsusananthony period, having no knowledge of the seclusion, deny the virtue and declare that such as creation's dawn beheld, it roareth now. The species is the most widely distributed of all beasts of prey, infesting all habitable parts of the globe, from Greenland's spicy mountains to India's moral strand. The popular name (wolf-man) is incorrect, for the creature is of the cat kind. The woman is lithe and graceful in its movements, especially the American variety (felis pugnans), is omnivorous and can be taught not to talk.
—Balthasar Pober
(also: man)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the organ contained within the head of a life form; all that separates a thinking, living being and a pile of rotting meat

(n.) one who tracks down and apprehends people for money, usually criminals who have jumped bail.

somewhat similar to a private detective but less likely to wear a monochrome trench coat or monologue to oneself in the rain

n. A follower of Achilles — particularly when he didn't lead.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)