reading

the devils dictionary
The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.

We know by one's reading
His learning and breeding;
By what draws his laughter
We know his Hereafter.
Read nothing, laugh never —
The Sphinx was less clever!
—Jupiter Muke
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

noumenon

the devils dictionary
That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning — which is a phenomenon. Nevertheless, the discovery and exposition of noumena offer a rich field for what Lewes calls "the endless variety and excitement of philosophic thought." Hurrah (therefore) for the noumenon!

serial

the devils dictionary
A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a newspaper or magazine. Frequently appended to each instalment is a "synopsis of preceding chapters" for those who have not read them, but a direr need is a synopsis of succeeding chapters for those who do not intend to read them. A synopsis of the entire work would be still better.
The late James F. Bowman was writing a serial tale for a weekly paper in collaboration with a genius whose name has not come down to us. They wrote, not jointly but alternately, Bowman supplying the instalment for one week, his friend for the next, and so on, world without end, they hoped. Unfortunately they quarreled, and one Monday morning when Bowman read the paper to prepare himself for his task, he found his work cut out for him in a way to surprise and pain him. His collaborator had embarked every character of the narrative on a ship and sunk them all in the deepest part of the Atlantic.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

doggy daycare

orikami
(n.) when dogs become children, you start to feel bad to just leave them, and so you give them over to a 4-or-5 star hotel of their own. but, it's one thing to treat pets as children. that's not even the problem.
but to treat any sentient being as a 'doll' to match your 'lifestyle' (with outfits, spa services, vegan/ gluten-free diets, etc.) is truly cruel. upper end doggy daycares may include such extravagances as spa treatments & getting nails done, clearly pandering more to the humans in charge than the dogs.

mail

nightowl
"Mail" (also know as "post") is a purely human and entirely abstract concept developed in most civilised (and uncivilised) civilisations. It refers to the means by which information is transferred from deliverer to reciever, usually by that of an archaic paper-based medium, or its electronical equivalent.

The concept of mail was briefly considered on the planet Joquin Deux, but was quickly disregarded as little more than a modern fad. The way in which the Joquinths would deliver their mail was via psychic projection; shooting the information across the planet as wavelengths, to be sent directly into the head of the intended recipient. Some complaint ensued, however, as the physical sensation of info-waves penetrating the skull was found to resemble that of a gunshot; the bi-weekly delivery of 'How To Get Ahead in Marvolian Advertising' being frequently mistaken for assassination attempts. Upon receiving your mail on Joquin Deux, always be sure to check for an exit wound.

Ex. "Ah, I see the mail has been delivered. Not, in fact, my soul. That was a close one."

ant

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a tiny little insect that compensates for its shrimpiness with endless reinforcements. attracted to exposed foodstuffs, some of the more vicious varieties bite. known also for its monarchist sympathies

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