The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly (Musca maledicta). The father of Zoölogy was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us. Two of the science's most illustrious expounders were Buffon and Oliver Goldsmith, from both of whom we learn (L'Histoire générale des animaux and A History of Animated Nature) that the domestic cow sheds its horns every two years.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) music for those moody angst-ridden teenager types; derived from a mix of african-american styles like jazz and country or gospel

A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
Alas, things ain't what we should see
If Eve had let that apple be;
And many a feller which had ought
To set with monarchses of thought,
Or play some rosy little game
With battle-chaps on fields of fame,
Is downed by his unlucky star,
And hollers: "Peanuts! — here you are!"
—"The Sturdy Beggar"
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(adj.) of or pertaining to Canada, in some way, shape or form. not liable for any niceness, or lack thereof, that you may expect.

(also: Canada)

(noun phrase) A whirlwind of nerves, anticipation, and boundless enthusiasm as a teacher steps into the classroom for the very first time. It's a symphony of introductions, establishing authority, and setting the stage for a year of growth. Excitement mingles with jitters as the teacher navigates a delicate balance of creating a welcoming environment, building connections with students, and conveying a passion for learning. It's a pivotal moment, a blank canvas waiting to be filled with knowledge, inspiration, and the joy of discovery.

(also: i left my textbook at home)

(6th Century BC – ) Author of Tao Te Ching and founder of Taoism
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: lao tzu quotes)

The quickest way to end an argument.

To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the supposed incorporeal remnant of a dead person; although their existence is not scientifically verified, pursuit of them remains of interest to crazy people and meddling kids with talking dogs

(v.) to employ a cunning tactic of ceasing communication with someone so that they will forget your existence

(n.) the organ contained within the head of a life form; all that separates a thinking, living being and a pile of rotting meat

Fun fact: italians are either the best people ever, or racists

source: i'm italian

(n.) the closest thing to god that humanity has yet created, and very likely to destroy us some time in the future. the internet is like a vast beehive of information of which computers are mere waxy cells.

according to legend, the heart of the internet is a gigantic central server built into a volcano, guarded by armies of orcs in little button-down shirts and maybe al gore or something

n. a process by which several legal professionals argue with each other with an older legal professional serving as referee in order to convince a small group of people who couldn't talk themselves out of jury duty that one legal professional is more correct than the other.

ex wife of johnny depp

An African insect (Glossina morsitans) whose bite is commonly regarded as nature's most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist (Mendax interminabilis).
(also: fly)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Japanese cartoons

(n.) the catalyst who transforms a solo nut into a leader
Derek Sivers is too good not to share:

(also: leader)
(also: second follower)

(1827 – 1912) British surgeon who pioneered the use of sterilisation and antiseptic surgery.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: joseph lister quotes)

a method of poverty reduction in which poverty is located and bombed to oblivion

n. One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.

(also: the devil's dictionary)