tenacity

the devils dictionary
A certain quality of the human hand in its relation to the coin of the realm. It attains its highest development in the hand of authority and is considered a serviceable equipment for a career in politics. The following illustrative lines were written of a Californian gentleman in high political preferment, who has passed to his accounting:

Of such tenacity his grip
That nothing from his hand can slip.
Well-buttered eels you may o'erwhelm
In tubs of liquid slippery-elm
In vain — from his detaining pinch
They cannot struggle half an inch!
'Tis lucky that he so is planned
That breath he draws not with his hand,
For if he did, so great his greed
He'd draw his last with eager speed.
Nay, that were well, you say. Not so
He'd draw but never let it go!
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

opposition

the devils dictionary
In politics the party that prevents the Government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
The King of Ghargaroo, who had been abroad to study the science of government, appointed one hundred of his fattest subjects as members of a parliament to make laws for the collection of revenue. Forty of these he named the Party of Opposition and had his Prime Minister carefully instruct them in their duty of opposing every royal measure. Nevertheless, the first one that was submitted passed unanimously. Greatly displeased, the King vetoed it, informing the Opposition that if they did that again they would pay for their obstinacy with their heads. The entire forty promptly disemboweled themselves.

"What shall we do now?" the King asked. "Liberal institutions cannot be maintained without a party of Opposition."

"Splendor of the universe," replied the Prime Minister, "it is true these dogs of darkness have no longer their credentials, but all is not lost. Leave the matter to this worm of the dust."

So the Minister had the bodies of his Majesty's Opposition embalmed and stuffed with straw, put back into the seats of power and nailed there. Forty votes were recorded against every bill and the nation prospered. But one day a bill imposing a tax on warts was defeated — the members of the Government party had not been nailed to their seats! This so enraged the King that the Prime Minister was put to death, the parliament was dissolved with a battery of artillery, and government of the people, by the people, for the people perished from Ghargaroo.

love quotes

quote
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

theosophy

the devils dictionary
An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science. The modern Theosophist holds, with the Buddhists, that we live an incalculable number of times on this earth, in as many several bodies, because one life is not long enough for our complete spiritual development; that is, a single lifetime does not suffice for us to become as wise and good as we choose to wish to become. To be absolutely wise and good — that is perfection; and the Theosophist is so keen-sighted as to have observed that everything desirous of improvement eventually attains perfection. Less competent observers are disposed to except cats, which seem neither wiser nor better than they were last year. The greatest and fattest of recent Theosophists was the late Madame Blavatsky, who had no cat.
(also: buddha)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

bloopers

jason
an extra feature of a movie where you get to see the start of a scene, but then it gets interrupted by a character laughing, and then the rest of the characters laughing

tangled headphones

boo
(noun):
The mischievous work of a wire-wielding poltergeist, lurking in the shadows of your pockets and bags, eagerly plotting to turn your headphones into a tangled mess of frustration. It's a cosmic prank that rivals the greatest slapstick comedy, as if Charlie Chaplin himself orchestrated the chaos. Untangling the knotty mess becomes a high-stakes puzzle, a battle of wits against an invisible foe with a PhD in knotting. It's a spectacle that leaves you questioning your life choices and contemplating a career as a professional knot detangler. So grab your patience, your sense of humor, and a strong cup of coffee, because in the world of tangled headphones, laughter is the only way to keep your sanity intact.



(also: headphones)

bastille day

jason
French holiday when all prisoners are released in honor of just kidding the prisoners celebrate Bastille Day in prison. God that must be a real slap in the face.

unity

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the great and noble thing we must all strive for, which we lack only because we're bogged down by petty arguments

except for when healthy disagreement is a good thing and we would see that if we weren't so bogged down by lack of ideological diversity

so basically everything is completely wrong either way. see order and chaos

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