someone who makes shoes. Was that not obvious? Why did you have to look this up? You're not a bright one, are you?

(n.) a professional who pretends to be someone else in order to tell a story.

once regarded as having the same low social status as a prostitute, though this is not the case today as prostitutes are becoming more and more appreciated.

(n.) a ground beef sandwich requiring a special dome-shaped bread packaging.

may also include ingredients like special sauce, lettuce, cheese pickles, onions and sesame seeds. occasionally you get more exotic toppings thrown on as well. but some claim this is just playing silly burgers.

(n.) a pattern of behaviour that demeans, weakens, demoralizes the soul. something that strengthens one's belief in a real-but-not-true passivity towards one's circumstances.

(also: real but not true)

it's your fault if I rip you off

Vegan
Ovo Vegetarian
Lacto Vegetarian
Lacto-ovo Vegetarian
Pescatarian
Flexitarian
Beegan
(also: Macrobiotic)

(n.) a terrorist who works with the good guys

(also: terrorist)

(also: market)

n. The mummy of a pig embalmed in brine. To "save one's bacon" is to narrowly escape some particular woman, or other peril.

---

By heaven forsaken,
By Justice o'ertaken,
He saved his bacon
By cutting a single slice of it;
For 'twas cut from the throat,
And we venture to quote
Death, hell and the grave as the price of it.
—S. F. Journal of Commerce


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

No better.

(n.) a breed of European that combines the culinary pretensions of the french with the fiery passions of the spanish. they were briefly the center of the civilized western world but today are better known for pizza and pasta

a popular t-shirt, available at most Targets.

so undeniably true that you cannot possibly take the risk that you might accidentally show it false

(1766 – 1834) English scholar who raised concern over growing population.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: thomas malthus quotes)

The variable (and audible) part of the roadway for an automobile.
(also: poor)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
― Marilyn Monroe
(also: life)
(also: Marilyn Monroe)

In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an old man. Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an old book.
"Old books? The devil take them!" Goby said.
"Fresh every day must be my books and bread."
Nature herself approves the Goby rule
And gives us every moment a fresh fool.
—Harley Shum

To take the property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of theft. To effect a change of ownership with the candid concomitance of a brass band. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanished opportunity.
(also: valhalla calling me)
(also: my mother told me)
(also: bad parents)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) one who can of course quit anytime they want but they're still working out how to want.

(also: drunk)

A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.

---

The devil casting a seine of lace,
(With precious stones 'twas weighted)
Drew it into the landing place
And its contents calculated.

All souls of women were in that sack —
A draft miraculous, precious!
But ere he could throw it across his back
They'd all escaped through the meshes.
—Baruch de Loppis

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)