apache pistol

trustycoffeemug
a weapon utilized for a brief time in the 19th century which proves that something primarily intended to be cool usually winds up being very stupid indeed

named for les apaches, a hardened street gang which terrorized paris in la belle époque, this weapon consisted of a cheaply made pepperbox pistol with a brass knuckleduster in place of a proper grip, and a low-grade knife blade protruding from the barrel like a bayonet

naturally, the gun bit was about as accurate as a coked-up economist and the knife bit had only marginally more shear strength than play-doh, so in effect les apaches were famous for more or less ruining a perfectly functional set of brass knuckles.

debt jubilee

orikami
(n.) rejoice! the debts, and the anxieties over those same debts, won't be attacking your dreams tonight.

practiced in the Jewish tradition every 50 or so years, freeing all slaves and releasing all debts.
practiced in ancient Babylonia and Syria (or so I've skim-read a few minutes ago).

(also: tabula rasa)

sheriff

the devils dictionary
In America the chief executive office of a county, whose most characteristic duties, in some of the Western and Southern States, are the catching and hanging of rogues.

John Elmer Pettibone Cajee
(I write of him with little glee)
Was just as bad as he could be.

'Twas frequently remarked: "I swon!
The sun has never looked upon
So bad a man as Neighbor John."

A sinner through and through, he had
This added fault: it made him mad
To know another man was bad.

In such a case he thought it right
To rise at any hour of night
And quench that wicked person's light.

Despite the town's entreaties, he
Would hale him to the nearest tree
And leave him swinging wide and free.

Or sometimes, if the humor came,
A luckless wight's reluctant frame
Was given to the cheerful flame.

While it was turning nice and brown,
All unconcerned John met the frown
Of that austere and righteous town.

"How sad," his neighbors said, "that he
So scornful of the law should be —
An anar c, h, i, s, t."

(That is the way that they preferred
To utter the abhorrent word,
So strong the aversion that it stirred.)

"Resolved," they said, continuing,
"That Badman John must cease this thing
Of having his unlawful fling.

"Now, by these sacred relics" — here
Each man had out a souvenir
Got at a lynching yesteryear —

"By these we swear he shall forsake
His ways, nor cause our hearts to ache
By sins of rope and torch and stake.

"We'll tie his red right hand until
He'll have small freedom to fulfil
The mandates of his lawless will."

So, in convention then and there,
They named him Sheriff. The affair
Was opened, it is said, with prayer.
—J. Milton Sloluck


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

evolution

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the process by which a species changes and adapts. on a short term basis the process consists of ensuring that the less helpful members of the population do not breed. it does not always work.

cheese

cheese man
Pronunciation: Chēz

(n) How do you not know what cheese is? Are you dumb? It's cheese. Literally cheese. You eat it, you make it with milk, and it's often paired with wine. It can be found on pizzas, sandwiches, and even the odd pasta dish if you're feeling frisky.

face

trustycoffeemug
(n.) bit of flesh stuck to the front of your head. the standard issue face tends to include two eyes, a mouth, and a nose.

one with hidden sinister intentions is said to be two-faced
according to one expert, the world may be seen crashing down all around one's face, unless it's only mesh and lace

(v.) to aim one's face at another's face, for face-to-face combat, or, as some call it, conversation

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