(n.) um... ask your mother.

n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. (See MOLECULE.) According to Leibnitz, as nearly as he seems willing to be understood, the monad has body without bulk, and mind without manifestation — Leibnitz knows him by the innate power of considering. He has founded upon him a theory of the universe, which the creature bears without resentment, for the monad is a gentleman. Small as he is, the monad contains all the powers and possibilities needful to his evolution into a German philosopher of the first class — altogether a very capable little fellow. He is not to be confounded with the microbe, or bacillus; by its inability to discern him, a good microscope shows him to be of an entirely distinct species.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a reasonably famous piece of hong kong cinema released in 1978, when the martial arts craze was still going relatively strong. the domestic popularity of the film was such that the central cast was propelled to significant local fame

the plot runs as such: the aged master of the poison clan once had five students, each trained to fight like a different kind of venomous animal: the quick-handed centipede, the flexible snake, the stingy scorpion, the really-good-at-climbing-walls lizard, and the, um, *indestructible* toad. however, this aged master is now on death's doorstoop, and he is haunted by a dream that one or more of these students have used his teachings for evil. he calls on his newest, youngest, sixth student to go to the nearby village and investigate to see which, if any, of the five are guilty, which is complicated by the fact that all the students wore masks and their identities are secret.

in case you're curious (but not curious enough to actually watch the movie): scorpion is evil, centipede is a willing accomplice, snake is an unwilling accomplice, toad is murdered and lizard is a hero who teams up with the main character.

n. Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.

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M is for Moses,
Who slew the Egyptian.
As sweet as a rose is
The meekness of Moses.
No monument shows his
Post-mortem inscription,
But M is for Moses
Who slew the Egyptian.
—The Biographical Alphabet

(also: the devil's dictionary)
(also: revenge)
(also: sheep)

To weigh probabilities in the scales of desire.
(also: desire)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a painfully stupid bird prone to screeching, violent spasms and getting itself killed flailing against panes of glass. regarded as a symbol of peace, presumably because they're so fragile and have trouble defending themselves

Action that either going to lead to kissing or an extreme act of violence.

(n.) an unexpectedly successful colony of the americas originally established as a free range insane asylum. currently a popular destination for sun and sand, until people actually go there and see how little of both there actually is

The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(also: infinity)

(n.) licensed grave robbery, carried out by the more rugged and outdoorsy variety of academic. But not quite as rugged or outdoorsy as you're thinking.

(n.) big swimming sacks of flammable oil that make mooing/whimpering noises and breach for the amusement of tourists

saving them from imminent extinction is a major goal of environmentalists, and hunting them to extinction is a major goal of crusty old men with peg-legs, norwegians and japanese people

Noun. The mystical force that transforms ordinary humans into button-pressing, world-changing wizards, or sometimes just makes the toaster work.

(also: power dynamics)

'not my fault', says the physician. And so the investigation is over

n. A tormenting vehicle in which a pirate jolts you through devious ways to the wrong place, where he robs you.

God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It's just that the translations have gone wrong.

Originally a reptile inhabiting fire; later, an anthropomorphous immortal, but still a pyrophile. Salamanders are now believed to be extinct, the last one of which we have an account having been seen in Carcassonne by the Abbé Belloc, who exorcised it with a bucket of holy water.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a song that best describes summer

a continent includes china japan and korea.

someone who wears an animal costume for their own amusement. this presumably excepts people who wear animal costumes for the amusement of audiences at sporting events (mascots). but I'm still keeping an eye on that phillie phanatic guy.