(1469 – 1527) Italian diplomat and Renaissance writer considered the father of political science.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: niccolo machiavelli quotes)

n. An act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Expression. The artful response to someone's attempt at assistance that's akin to receiving a single raisin as payment for winning a chocolate factory.

(also: shame on you)

One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
(also: war)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A competition in which, two teams of men share balls in an attempt to stuff them into more holes than the opposing team.

(also: football)

(n.) a repository for the unwell, so that their unwellness does not become a source of distress for those whose unwellness is easier to conceal.

n. An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as medicine, and now engaged in supplying art with an excellent pigment. He is handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.

---

By means of the Mummy, mankind, it is said,
Attests to the gods its respect for the dead.
We plunder his tomb, be he sinner or saint,
Distil him for physic and grind him for paint,
Exhibit for money his poor, shrunken frame,
And with levity flock to the scene of the shame.
O, tell me, ye gods, for the use of my rhyme:
For respecting the dead what's the limit of time?
—Scopas Brune

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.)(also: problem)

(c 1391 – 1271 BC) A key figure of Jewish / Christian history gave10 Commandments of Old Testament
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: 10 Commandments )

The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.

---

He swore that all other religions were gammon,
And wore out his knees in the worship of Mammon.
—Jared Oopf
(also: the devils dictionary)

To dine.

---

Hail, Gastronome, Apostle of Excess,
Well skilled to overeat without distress!
Thy great invention, the unfatal feast,
Shows Man's superiority to Beast.
—John Boop

a politician who gets the electorate involved.

black
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Life...is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast

(1707 – 1783) Swiss mathematician who made prolific discoveries in calculus and graph theory.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: leonhard euler quotes)

(adj.) of the same name

(also: name)
(also: names)
(also: naming)

(n.) another name for puma, which is also commonly called a mountain lion

to be quite honest you should probably stick with using one of those two latter terms, to avoid confusion with... ah... your mom's friend who is very physically affectionate with young men your age.

(n.) a corrupted term deriving from bantu by way of haiti. according to folklore the zombie is a hollowed-out shell of a human being, utterly devoid of any semblance of free will, just like (insert-adherents-of-unpopular-political-movement here).

if there is any truth to the stories of zombies, it may derive from the shamanic use of pufferfish toxin to place individuals in a state of excited catatonia. whereas this is a topic best analyzed by historians, and therefore boring, the concept has influenced a number of popular horror movies in which masses of zombies are presented as a stand-in for consumerism or man's inhumanity to man or some nonsense.

irish rock band the cranberries once expressed interest in the contents of a zombie's head

n. An infernal river whose waters caused those who drank them to forget all they knew; whereas the drinker of Spring Valley forgets nothing but the Third Commandment and the pious precepts of a sainted mother.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A main ingredient in glorious beer, which in itself is a main ingredient in a glorious day.