n. An herb of the genus Lactuca, "Wherewith," says that pious gastronome, Hengist Pelly, "God has been pleased to reward the good and punish the wicked. For by his inner light the righteous man has discerned a manner of compounding for it a dressing to the appetency whereof a multitude of gustible condiments conspire, being reconciled and ameliorated with profusion of oil, the entire comestible making glad the heart of the godly and causing his face to shine. But the person of spiritual unworth is successfully tempted of the Adversary to eat of lettuce with destitution of oil, mustard, egg, salt and garlic, and with a rascal bath of vinegar polluted with sugar. Wherefore the person of spiritual unworth suffers an intestinal pang of strange complexity and raises the song."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
The science of spelling by the eye instead of the ear. Advocated with more heat than light by the outmates of every asylum for the insane. They have had to concede a few things since the time of Chaucer, but are none the less hot in defence of those to be conceded hereafter.
A spelling reformer indicted
For fudge was before the court cicted.
The judge said: "Enough —
His candle we'll snough,
And his sepulchre shall not be whicted."
A spelling reformer indicted
For fudge was before the court cicted.
The judge said: "Enough —
His candle we'll snough,
And his sepulchre shall not be whicted."
although I am unable to rationalize your misfortune, perhaps God, with His infinite intelligence, might be able to rationalize it.
(n.) planet earth's seventh continent, as long as one decides to list it seventh while counting, and which is not a continent, technically speaking (it's just australia, which *is* a continent, and all the other places in the pacific that don't belong to any others)
in addition to australia, oceania is usually considered to include
* micronesia (including kiribati, resting comfortably right on the international date line)
* melanesia (including papua new guinea and, like... I guess some places they might have used for filming in "survivor." anyone remember that show?)
* and polynesia (including new zealand, hawaii, samoa, and the delightful statue heads at easter island)
in addition to australia, oceania is usually considered to include
* micronesia (including kiribati, resting comfortably right on the international date line)
* melanesia (including papua new guinea and, like... I guess some places they might have used for filming in "survivor." anyone remember that show?)
* and polynesia (including new zealand, hawaii, samoa, and the delightful statue heads at easter island)
(also: success)
(v.) yes, a verb. magic is the universe alive. magic is no miracle (that is, no rarity), but precious all the same.
(n.) the angels are not limited to human form.
so maybe, be a little afraid, just don't go off the deep end.
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/biblically-accurate-angels-be-not-afraid
![be not afraid]( "be not afraid")
![be not afraid]( "be not afraid")
"Basically, when the people writing Scripture tried to describe what they saw when they saw an angel… they run into the end of their imagination… they can never quite seem to fully explain it because they had trouble even comprehending what they saw, let alone being able to describe it to someone else."
![be not afraid]( "be not afraid")
![be not afraid]( "be not afraid")
(also: angels)
(also: multi-headed)
(also: multi-handed)
(also: bible)
(also: doctor who)
so maybe, be a little afraid, just don't go off the deep end.
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/biblically-accurate-angels-be-not-afraid
"Basically, when the people writing Scripture tried to describe what they saw when they saw an angel… they run into the end of their imagination… they can never quite seem to fully explain it because they had trouble even comprehending what they saw, let alone being able to describe it to someone else."
(also: angels)
(also: multi-headed)
(also: multi-handed)
(also: bible)
(also: doctor who)
Bunion of soviet union
(also: onion)
(also: onion)
(n.) a pancake covered in square braille indents for people with blind tongues
All men are assured the first death, which is otherwise known as sleep, and then judgement. The second death is when The Lord no longer thinks of you and casts you into the fiery hell.
(n.) the state after having cleared all the muckity muck from the mucky pond -- the doubts, worries, envies, misfortunes. when giving something new a chance becomes possible.
(also: debt jubilee)
(also: phoenix)
(also: newborn)
(also: baby)
(also: debt jubilee)
(also: phoenix)
(also: newborn)
(also: baby)
The act of reminding people of the horrible things they already knew, allowing you slight relief from the guilt of doing nothing about it yourself.
(1632-1723) Dutch chemist – founder of microbiology.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: antony van leeuwenhoek quotes)
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: antony van leeuwenhoek quotes)
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vipers (always venomous):
*rattlesnakes (snakes with built in warning maracas; not mariachi players)
*fer-de-lances (snakes with fancy french names; not medieval knights)
*bushmasters (south american jungle snake; not a porn category)
*puff adders (north african grassland snake; not a good smoking buddy)
*night adders (another african grassland snake; not played by rowan atkinson)
*copperheads (and cottonmouths, which are basically the same things)
elapids (sometimes venomous):
*cobras (hooded snakes; not affiliated with the klan)
*king cobras (hooded snakes; not affiliated with the british royal family)
*coral snakes (colorful snake; not a harmless milksnake, though it strongly resembles one, leading to one of nature's more fun gambling games)
*death adders (snake with a cool name; does not play death metal)
*kraits (very venomous snakes from india; not meant to be smashed by donkey kong)
*taipan (very venomous snakes from around india; not a tie or a pan)
colubras (rarely venomous):
*boomslangs (not similar to boomerangs)
*kingsnakes (not the last scion of numenor seeking to reclaim throne of gondor)
*garter snakes (a harmless bum who just wants to crash in your garden; not an article of women's underwear)
pythons (never venomous, they simply crush the life out of prey instead)
boas (constrictors like pythons; not feathery scarves)
there are more but let's be honest, you don't care
*rattlesnakes (snakes with built in warning maracas; not mariachi players)
*fer-de-lances (snakes with fancy french names; not medieval knights)
*bushmasters (south american jungle snake; not a porn category)
*puff adders (north african grassland snake; not a good smoking buddy)
*night adders (another african grassland snake; not played by rowan atkinson)
*copperheads (and cottonmouths, which are basically the same things)
elapids (sometimes venomous):
*cobras (hooded snakes; not affiliated with the klan)
*king cobras (hooded snakes; not affiliated with the british royal family)
*coral snakes (colorful snake; not a harmless milksnake, though it strongly resembles one, leading to one of nature's more fun gambling games)
*death adders (snake with a cool name; does not play death metal)
*kraits (very venomous snakes from india; not meant to be smashed by donkey kong)
*taipan (very venomous snakes from around india; not a tie or a pan)
colubras (rarely venomous):
*boomslangs (not similar to boomerangs)
*kingsnakes (not the last scion of numenor seeking to reclaim throne of gondor)
*garter snakes (a harmless bum who just wants to crash in your garden; not an article of women's underwear)
pythons (never venomous, they simply crush the life out of prey instead)
boas (constrictors like pythons; not feathery scarves)
there are more but let's be honest, you don't care
A young person of the unfair sex addicted to clewless conduct and views that madden to crime. The genus has a wide geographical distribution, being found wherever sought and deplored wherever found. The maiden is not altogether unpleasing to the eye, nor (without her piano and her views) insupportable to the ear, though in respect to comeliness distinctly inferior to the rainbow, and, with regard to the part of her that is audible, beaten out of the field by the canary — which, also, is more portable.
A lovelorn maiden she sat and sang —
This quaint, sweet song sang she:
"It's O for a youth with a football bang
And a muscle fair to see!
The Captain he
Of a team to be!
On the gridiron he shall shine,
A monarch by right divine,
And never to roast on it — me!"
—Opaline Jones
(also: the devils dictionary)
A lovelorn maiden she sat and sang —
This quaint, sweet song sang she:
"It's O for a youth with a football bang
And a muscle fair to see!
The Captain he
Of a team to be!
On the gridiron he shall shine,
A monarch by right divine,
And never to roast on it — me!"
—Opaline Jones
(also: the devils dictionary)
To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument; as, "He presided at the piccolo."
The Headliner, holding the copy in hand,
Read with a solemn face:
"The music was very uncommonly grand —
The best that was ever provided,
For our townsman Brown presided
At the organ with skill and grace."
The Headliner discontinued to read,
And, spreading the paper down
On the desk, he dashed in at the top of the screed:
"Great playing by President Brown."
—Orpheus Bowen
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
The Headliner, holding the copy in hand,
Read with a solemn face:
"The music was very uncommonly grand —
The best that was ever provided,
For our townsman Brown presided
At the organ with skill and grace."
The Headliner discontinued to read,
And, spreading the paper down
On the desk, he dashed in at the top of the screed:
"Great playing by President Brown."
—Orpheus Bowen
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability, as a domestic horse to the hitching-post, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination — free, lawless, immune to bit and rein. Your novelist is a poor creature, as Carlyle might say — a mere reporter. He may invent his characters and plot, but he must not imagine anything taking place that might not occur, albeit his entire narrative is candidly a lie. Why he imposes this hard condition on himself, and "drags at each remove a lengthening chain" of his own forging he can explain in ten thick volumes without illuminating by so much as a candle's ray the black profound of his own ignorance of the matter. There are great novels, for great writers have "laid waste their powers" to write them, but it remains true that far and away the most fascinating fiction that we have is "The Thousand and One Nights."
(also: marriage)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: marriage)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: pantaloons)
sign-up or face the consequences!
“"observers" must obey the call.”
join