n. In architecture, the upper part of a column, upon which, in all good architecture, sits the thoughtful stork pondering unutterable things.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(adj.) suffering, as a result of alcohol, from reduced good judgment and impaired sense of balance, but with the positive effect of total immunity from criticism and greater insight into hidden or nonexistent beauty
also (n.) one who frequently and uncontrollably becomes drunk
also (n.) one who frequently and uncontrollably becomes drunk
(1451 – 1506) – Italian explorer landed in America.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: christopher columbus quotes)
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: christopher columbus quotes)
An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness. In this country satire never had more than a sickly and uncertain existence, for the soul of it is wit, wherein we are dolefully deficient, the humor that we mistake for it, like all humor, being tolerant and sympathetic. Moreover, although Americans are "endowed by their Creator" with abundant vice and folly, it is not generally known that these are reprehensible qualities, wherefore the satirist is popularly regarded as a sour-spirited knave, and his every victim's outcry for codefendants evokes a national assent.
Hail Satire! be thy praises ever sung
In the dead language of a mummy's tongue,
For thou thyself art dead, and damned as well —
Thy spirit (usefully employed) in Hell.
Had it been such as consecrates the Bible
Thou hadst not perished by the law of libel.
—Barney Stims
(also: humor)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
Hail Satire! be thy praises ever sung
In the dead language of a mummy's tongue,
For thou thyself art dead, and damned as well —
Thy spirit (usefully employed) in Hell.
Had it been such as consecrates the Bible
Thou hadst not perished by the law of libel.
—Barney Stims
(also: humor)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(noun):
A mythological figure in spandex, armed with superpowers and a wardrobe that defies practicality. They battle villains, save the day, and occasionally face existential crises about their secret identities.
(also: superhero)
(also: american art of saving the day)
A mythological figure in spandex, armed with superpowers and a wardrobe that defies practicality. They battle villains, save the day, and occasionally face existential crises about their secret identities.
(also: superhero)
(also: american art of saving the day)
(n.) suckers; potential customers
n. A follower of Joseph Smith, who received from an angel a revelation inscribed on brass plates and afterward revised and enlarged by his successor in the prophethood. While still an inoffensive people the Mormons were bitterly persecuted, their prophet assassinated, their homes burned and themselves driven into the desert, where they prospered, practiced polygamy and themselves took a hand in the game of persecution.
They say the Mormons are liars. They say that Joseph Smith did not receive from the hands of an angel the written revelation that we obey. Let them prove it!
—Brigham Young, Prophet and Logician.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
They say the Mormons are liars. They say that Joseph Smith did not receive from the hands of an angel the written revelation that we obey. Let them prove it!
—Brigham Young, Prophet and Logician.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(n.) speaking back and forth to other people.
Despite the frustratingly complex rules involved, it's not usually considered a sport, possibly because nobody bothers remembering how to score.
Despite the frustratingly complex rules involved, it's not usually considered a sport, possibly because nobody bothers remembering how to score.
“The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger--but recognize the opportunity.”
― John F. Kennedy
(also: John F. Kennedy)
― John F. Kennedy
(also: John F. Kennedy)
(n.) an account of how things stand. what (or who!) has come in, what (or who) has gone out. handy for an overview.
historically, (n.) "a book that lies permanently in some specified place."
historically, also (adj.) "remaining in a place, permanent, stationary"
historically, (n.) "a book that lies permanently in some specified place."
historically, also (adj.) "remaining in a place, permanent, stationary"
(259 – 210 BC) – King of the state of Qin who conquered and united different regions of China in 221 BC.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: shih huang ti quotes)
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: shih huang ti quotes)
hell
the hindsight-fueled ramblings of older individuals who forget their own past mistakes and offer vague platitudes.
(also: Relationship advice)
(also: Relationship advice)
A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
a quarantine or infirmary for the care and separation of the impoverished
One forgotten of the gods and living to a great age. History is abundantly supplied with examples, from Methuselah to Old Parr, but some notable instances of longevity are less well known. A Calabrian peasant named Coloni, born in 1753, lived so long that he had what he considered a glimpse of the dawn of universal peace. Scanavius relates that he knew an archbishop who was so old that he could remember a time when he did not deserve hanging. In 1566 a linen draper of Bristol, England, declared that he had lived five hundred years, and that in all that time he had never told a lie. There are instances of longevity (macrobiosis) in our own country. Senator Chauncey Depew is old enough to know better. The editor of The American, a newspaper in New York City, has a memory that goes back to the time when he was a rascal, but not to the fact. The President of the United States was born so long ago that many of the friends of his youth have risen to high political and military preferment without the assistance of personal merit. The verses following were written by a macrobian:
When I was young the world was fair
And amiable and sunny.
A brightness was in all the air,
In all the waters, honey.
The jokes were fine and funny,
The statesmen honest in their views,
And in their lives, as well,
And when you heard a bit of news
'Twas true enough to tell.
Men were not ranting, shouting, reeking,
Nor women "generally speaking."
The Summer then was long indeed:
It lasted one whole season!
The sparkling Winter gave no heed
When ordered by Unreason
To bring the early peas on.
Now, where the dickens is the sense
In calling that a year
Which does no more than just commence
Before the end is near?
When I was young the year extended
From month to month until it ended.
I know not why the world has changed
To something dark and dreary,
And everything is now arranged
To make a fellow weary.
The Weather Man — I fear he
Has much to do with it, for, sure,
The air is not the same:
It chokes you when it is impure,
When pure it makes you lame.
With windows closed you are asthmatic;
Open, neuralgic or sciatic.
Well, I suppose this new régime
Of dun degeneration
Seems eviler than it would seem
To a better observation,
And has for compensation
Some blessings in a deep disguise
Which mortal sight has failed
To pierce, although to angels' eyes
They're visibly unveiled.
If Age is such a boon, good land!
He's costumed by a master hand!
—Venable Strigg
When I was young the world was fair
And amiable and sunny.
A brightness was in all the air,
In all the waters, honey.
The jokes were fine and funny,
The statesmen honest in their views,
And in their lives, as well,
And when you heard a bit of news
'Twas true enough to tell.
Men were not ranting, shouting, reeking,
Nor women "generally speaking."
The Summer then was long indeed:
It lasted one whole season!
The sparkling Winter gave no heed
When ordered by Unreason
To bring the early peas on.
Now, where the dickens is the sense
In calling that a year
Which does no more than just commence
Before the end is near?
When I was young the year extended
From month to month until it ended.
I know not why the world has changed
To something dark and dreary,
And everything is now arranged
To make a fellow weary.
The Weather Man — I fear he
Has much to do with it, for, sure,
The air is not the same:
It chokes you when it is impure,
When pure it makes you lame.
With windows closed you are asthmatic;
Open, neuralgic or sciatic.
Well, I suppose this new régime
Of dun degeneration
Seems eviler than it would seem
To a better observation,
And has for compensation
Some blessings in a deep disguise
Which mortal sight has failed
To pierce, although to angels' eyes
They're visibly unveiled.
If Age is such a boon, good land!
He's costumed by a master hand!
—Venable Strigg
A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.
(also: suicidal novelists)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: suicidal novelists)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
sign-up or face the consequences!
“"observers" must obey the call.”
join