A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect. One of these egotists was addressed in the lines following, by Agamemnon Melancthon Peters:

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Dear Frank, that scrap-book where you boast
You keep a record true
Of every kind of peppered roast
That's made of you;

Wherein you paste the printed gibes
That revel round your name,
Thinking the laughter of the scribes
Attests your fame;

Where all the pictures you arrange
That comic pencils trace —
Your funny figure and your strange
Semitic face —

Pray lend it me. Wit I have not,
Nor art, but there I'll list
The daily drubbings you'd have got
Had God a fist.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(noun) A spicy candy that dares you to eat more than one, tempting fate with each fiery bite. The preferred snack of daredevils and masochists.

(n.) the act of keeping 'our kind of people' separate from 'not our kind of people.' widely regarded as a bad move and has made many people upset

(also: apartheid)

There are only two tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want, the other is getting it.
(also: life)
(also: getting what you want)

(n.) one who is idiotic; one whose lack of mental acuity is a source of perennial frustration; those who invariably surround the consternated genius in the room

An adherent without sense.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

people you're bound to by blood and birth, with no choice in the matter (also: hematology)

(n.) an unexpectedly successful colony of the americas originally established as a free range insane asylum. at one point was marketed as a luxury vacation destination until the tourism board realized they weren't fooling anyone.

An animated acceptance of the doctrines of Malthus.
(also: the devils dictionary)

(1917 – 1963) 38th President of the US. Served at the height of the Cold War and helped defuse Cuban Missile Crisis.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: john f. kennedy quotes)

(n.) the act of hurling someone out of a window. No, that's actually it.

(n.) a reptile with a hard shell surrounding its body, widely considered a symbol of persistence in the face of things that would discourage persistence.

Their ability to stack on top of one another has deep seated cosmological implications: (also: turtles all the way down)

n. A descendant of Levi, from whose posterity the Lord ordained all the Jewish priests — an instance of nepotism deserving of the severest censure, as incompatible with free institutions and the principle of civil and religious equality.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A fool considered under another aspect.
(author: admin)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) talking good, like what I do

(n.) often found in white-collar companies. a type of bullshit job. and the more they shout they're vital and important and irreplaceable, the more you can be assured that they're standing on a very precarious cliff.

(also: paper-pusher)
(also: bullshit jobs)

(abbreviated to Piano), n. An instrument thoughtfully provided by American husbands and fathers for their wives and daughters, in observance of Bulwer's dictum that "the best way to keep the dear creatures from playing the devil is to encourage them in playing the fool."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Mostly Harmless.
(also: Mostly Harmless)