french revolution

trustycoffeemug
the last big hurrah of the 18th century, featuring liberty, equality, and brotherhood as side dishes alongside a main course of blood, horror, devastation and death. brought to us by france; we assume it was all staged in an attempt to win at eurovision

what exactly happened (in a nutshell): after several massive wars, droughts, hailstones, and the aftermath of a massive volcanic eruption in iceland, france was facing a fairly serious famine and economic crisis. public sentiment was tipping very heavily against the monarchy (at the time, headed by king louis xvi), and this finally reached its fever pitch in 1789, when an angry mob raided the bastille (a political prison) to steal weapons; three years after that, the monarchy was abolished, and two years after that, after the king was caught sneaking off to austria to raise an army against the revolutionaries, he was messily executed with members of his family.

so democracy came to france, and many people were executed, and eventually a war broke out across all of europe. then napoleon came into power and even more war broke out across all of europe! good times

in the end: it wound up not mattering a whole lot because after napoleon fell in 1814 france went back to being a monarchy. live and learn.

learn about the major players in the french revolution by clicking here! well, not here-here, i mean where those blue words are.

olympian

the devils dictionary
Relating to a mountain in Thessaly, once inhabited by gods, now a repository of yellowing newspapers, beer bottles and mutilated sardine cans, attesting the presence of the tourist and his appetite.

His name the smirking tourist scrawls
Upon Minerva's temple walls,
Where thundered once Olympian Zeus,
And marks his appetite's abuse.
—Averil Joop

election

trustycoffeemug
a means of selecting political leaders in which candidates perform for the amusement of the citizenry and attempt to suppress their objectionable characteristics, in exchange for which eligible citizens award them points in the form of little slips of paper with the candidates' names written on them. the points are then tallied to determine the winner and everyone goes home unhappy

elections are generally seen as mercifully less exciting than the previous system of violent uprisings and revolutions

instagram model

kivi
(Noun) A person who has mastered the art of taking photos of themselves in awkward poses and unattainable locations. Often known for their surgically-enhanced assets and the ability to promote teeth whitening products while holding a detox tea in one hand. While they may appear to have it all, their constant need for attention and validation from strangers on the internet is truly sad. And let's be real, how many times can one person post the same bikini photo before it starts to get boring?

(also: activities in dubai for tired people)
(also: dubai)
(also: economy of dubai)
(also: united arab emirates)
(also: dubai for starters)

boston

tobitobi
The name for a state within the USA, once known as Massachusetts. But because the capital is so much easier to say, and because no one knows where the hell it is without its capital existing, the name of the state might as well be its capital: Boston.

Example:
Dood1: hey, didn't you say you were going to Massive Two Shits or whatever?

Dood2: what? Oh you mean Boston? Yeah I went, it was filled with cholos from the vineyards.

dolphins

douglas adams
It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons.(also: intelligence)

Curiously enough, the dolphins had long known of the impending destruction of the planet Earth and had made many attempts to alert mankind of the danger; but most of their communications were misinterpreted as amusing attempts to punch footballs or whistle for tidbits, so they eventually gave up and left the Earth by their own means shortly before the Vogons arrived.

The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the "Star Spangled Banner", but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.

(also: mice)
(also: humans)

art

the devils dictionary
n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related as follows by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape, S.J.

One day a wag—what would the wretch be at?—
Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT,
And said it was a god's name! Straight arose
Fantastic priests and postulants (with shows,
And mysteries, and mummeries, and hymns,
And disputations dire that lamed their limbs)
To serve his temple and maintain the fires,
Expound the law, manipulate the wires.
Amazed, the populace the rites attend,
Believe whate'er they cannot comprehend,
And, inly edified to learn that two
Half-hairs joined so and so (as Art can do)
Have sweeter values and a grace more fit
Than Nature's hairs that never have been split,
Bring cates and wines for sacrificial feasts,
And sell their garments to support the priests.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

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