an edgy word for spoiled brats

(n.) something untrue that people will nonetheless believe in, and thus the exact reverse of scientific research

An implement of torture yielded by a goose and commonly wielded by an ass. This use of the quill is now obsolete, but its modern equivalent, the steel pen, is wielded by the same everlasting Presence.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1632-1723) Dutch chemist – founder of microbiology.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: antony van leeuwenhoek quotes)

A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted, and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a "joke."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a blind human who insists that every sighted person is a liar

person who takes unwanted things and makes them farther away.

Undergoing or awaiting punishment.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

an excuse for European countries to get (ahem, how to put this nicely..) creative.

well, you'd think just European countries. after all, it's in the name, right? --wrong.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_in_the_Eurovision_Song_Contest#Participants
(also: russia)
(also: israel)
(also: australia)
(also: turkey)

(also: pop music)
(also: geopolitics)
(also: block voting)

(btw here, 'my' means 'мы', ergo different pronunciation -- https://forvo.com/word/%D0%BC%D1%8B/)

(also: weirdness abounds)
(also: costume-heavy)
(also: twin-tastic)
(also: high notes)
(also: opera singers)
(also: cultural stereotypes)

and overthinking eurovision in all its glory:
2013: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KDRg_scQSPtB2VoO0cpzg-VeHIsaZFB
2014: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KDRg_scQSNvAwL8Gb6oKx2o68kTBRXR
2015: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KDRg_scQSP_7Bd0rDLjNoLfpG-BuCTj
2016: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KDRg_scQSNq04GQ_agpfBp7sV-V_Gog
2017: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KDRg_scQSNFak9-d88kdTrfACAn7FqJ
2018: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KDRg_scQSOxUEkWwIUp6q02p2IKzOX5

A nation of gun toting both godless and godfearing bible thumping heathens lead by a two year old parchment, that even though it is written in plain English, requires a Corp of scholars to understand. It is said the inhabitants of America subsist only on a hearty diet freedom or a freedom based freedom substitute, Democracy.

v.t. To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source of error in an opponent.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus tells of a peasant who was occupied by a different devil for every day in the week, and on Sundays by two. They were frequently seen, always walking in his shadow, when he had one, but were finally driven away by the village notary, a holy man; but they took the peasant with them, for he vanished utterly. A devil thrown out of a woman by the Archbishop of Rheims ran through the streets, pursued by a hundred persons, until the open country was reached, where by a leap higher than a church spire he escaped into a bird. A chaplain in Cromwell's army exorcised a soldier's obsessing devil by throwing the soldier into the water, when the devil came to the surface. The soldier, unfortunately, did not.

where to begin? egyptian history spans over 5000 years. egypt was ancient long before the single day on which rome was built.

to be as brief as is feasible, the upper and lower portions of egypt first became unified sometime between 3200 and 3000 BC, possibly by somebody named Narmer or Menes, who thus became the founder of the first dynasty of pharaohs. narmer's dynasty dicks around for a bit, leave behind a few prototype tombs in the village of saqqara, and is replaced by a second dynasty. that dynasty does more dicking around and is replaced again. this more or less sets the tone for the rest of egyptian history.

old kingdom egypt (3rd-6th dynasties); the big pointy pyramids you're thinking of come from the fourth dynasty
* an intermediate period (7th-11th dynasties)
middle kingdom egypt (11th-13th dynasties); the book of the dead, that famous egyptian book you've heard of, only shows up in rough draft form around this period
* another intermediate period (13th-17th dynasties)
new kingdom egypt (18th-20th dynasties); tutankhamun, the one pharaoh everyone has heard of, was the second-to-last pharaoh of the 18th dynasty
* sure, why not another intermediate period (21st-25th dynasties), followed by some twilight years (the late period extending to the 31st dynasty), during which egypt got conquered by persians


By this point it's already the 330s BC, and greece (led by alexander the great) took over egypt and left it in control of some doofus named ptolemy. not too long after that, it was conquered again by the romans, by which time we've only just arrived at caesar boinking cleopatra.

(n.) the eternal cycle of violence and poor career decisions which keeps us all occupied until death

A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
(also: marriage)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

quotation marks used to denote that you totally did not just use that word.

(1878 – 1953) Absolute ruler of the Soviet Union from 1924 to his death. Led the Soviet Union in WWII.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: joseph stalin quotes)

(n.) that friendly 1950's fellow living next to ya in your white picket-fence Canadian suburb.
not to be confused with neighbor.

(also: neighbor)
(also: Canadian)

(n.) those who inhabit the netherlands. also the same place as holland, just so there's no confusion

in many ways, the luckiest and the dankest people in the world

(american) an american variation of football, refined to have even more complicated rules so that the on-field action becomes even more slow and excruciating. while nobody in recorded history actually knows how this game is played, and americans are too embarrassed to admit it, it seems to involve large men trying to dogpile each other while a pig's bladder is thrown out of bounds.