A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted, and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a "joke."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.

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They took away his vote and gave instead
The right, when he had earned, to eat his bread.
In vain — he clamors for his "boss," pour soul,
To come again and part him from his roll.
—Offenbach Stutz

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

adj. Conforming a local and mutable standard of right. Having the quality of general expediency.

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It is sayd there be a raunge of mountaynes in the Easte, on one syde of the which certayn conducts are immorall, yet on the other syde they are holden in good esteeme; wherebye the mountayneer is much conveenyenced, for it is given to him to goe downe eyther way and act as it shall suite his moode, withouten offence.
—Gooke's Meditations

(also: moral backsliding)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the purported secretive cabal consisting of key influential individuals in the many halls of power, and which engineers globally insidious undertakings of all descriptions, including the activities of satanic cults, the cia, the military, ancient egyptians, atlantis, alien invaders, the entertainment industry, the pharmaceutical industry, the arms industry, the confectionery industry, unhinged lone wolf assassins, the knights templar, your mom, french revolutionaries, freemasons, and underappreciated webcartoonists of the 2010s who just sort of stopped updating with no warning one day.

... but not coofl. definitely not coofl.

(n.) a Sufi order, whirling towards God.


(the following link is not broken, though it appears to be)


(also: sufi)
(also: dance)
(also: trance)
(also: meditation)

Noun. The mystical force that transforms ordinary humans into button-pressing, world-changing wizards, or sometimes just makes the toaster work.

(also: power dynamics)

Is a breed of human that chooses to identify in society" as people who play video games"

(n.) a real fun guy

wears a cool toque and might be into the goth scene, as he's often seen relishing in darkness and decay. can be a good guy to have around on pizza night.

dying is part of life

Bacon is simply the best part of the pig, in my opinion. It is salt cured, often smoked, and usually from the belly. The fatty belly pieces are just amazing and can be used in so many ways. I like to grill or fry bacon, and use it in sandwiches, bacon & egg and other breakfast combinations, wrapped around grilled scallops, as a topping for grilled oysters, etc. I much prefer it in decent sized slices, not bacon bits, but bacon bits do have their uses, e.g. in salad.

n. A malevolent deity of the Scandinavian mythology, described in the Edda as a serpent embracing the world. This is the greatest snake story on record and is now generally disbelieved.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

making the beast with two backs when you've only got the one back

there are two kinds of people in the world, those who just got done masturbating and those who are still doing it right now

(n.) 1) an alleged act of supernatural improbability, that in all likelihood never happened. 2) a potential act of supernatural improbability that in all likelihood isn't gonna happen

(n.) a great big pretty boat with sails and navigation tools and a cargo hold and cabins where unspeakable things happen.

In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.

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Having received an ultimatum from Austria, the Turkish Ministry met to consider it.

"O servant of the Prophet," said the Sheik of the Imperial Chibouk to the Mamoosh of the Invincible Army, "how many unconquerable soldiers have we in arms?"

"Upholder of the Faith," that dignitary replied after examining his memoranda, "they are in numbers as the leaves of the forest!"

"And how many impenetrable battleships strike terror to the hearts of all Christian swine?" he asked the Imaum of the Ever Victorious Navy.

"Uncle of the Full Moon," was the reply, "deign to know that they are as the waves of the ocean, the sands of the desert and the stars of Heaven!"

For eight hours the broad brow of the Sheik of the Imperial Chibouk was corrugated with evidences of deep thought: he was calculating the chances of war. Then, "Sons of angels," he said, "the die is cast! I shall suggest to the Ulema of the Imperial Ear that he advise inaction. In the name of Allah, the council is adjourned."

(also: war)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the perfect tool for the discriminating lunatic who enjoys swinging something with a bit of heft but just feels a mace or club isn't slicey enough.

A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.
(also: democracy)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the keratinous digital pads on the plantar surface of a cat's foot, so designated due to their ovular shape and squishy texture

how sickeningly saccharine

(n.) noodles prepared by italians, as opposed to noodles prepared by east asian people, which are referred to as "takeout"