n. A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved at Mecca. The patriarch had perhaps asked the archangel for bread.

(n.) supposedly that which separates human beings from lowly animals, since animals are influenced largely by desire for things like food, water, and shelter, whereas humans are influenced by much more sophisticated things political demagoguery and subliminal advertising

whose voice will give you lovely dreams, if you listen to her talks and really reflect as you're going to sleep.

(also: meditation)
(also: magic)

n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) one who sings. not to be confused with one who singes.

a nation invented in 1871
(also: Prussia)

a nation that exists to give Greece extra bonus points in eurovision

In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) professional term for the more bleedy kind of boo-boo

(n.) a political leader who uses cheap rhetoric to flatter and incite the badly informed public, exploiting their naïveté. But you folks are too smart to fall for that kind of thing

Wild rabbit is a type of dog food that is fun to chase. Occasionally, a dog can dig up a nest and find the helpless babies to eat.

(n.) a quality of esteem conferred upon individuals by their community, usually to mark bravery and a sense of fair play

cultural constructs such as these probably evolved as a way of ensuring our nobler instincts can occasionally override our deep-seated desire to be self-preserving dicks

A peace only achievable via massive amounts of warfare. It has only been achieved once after World War II. Only twenty minutes and ended with the French Captian Boniface Martin calling the British General Ashton Chesterfield a right British twat and proclaimed his intention of defiling his wife with his French penis.

(n.) a mythical figure associated with the christian solstice holiday; a figure of terror who embodies wretched material excess while engaging in breaking-and-entering and contemptuous neglect of international borders

(n.) a big fancy piano sort of thing that you can play. alternatively, a series of meatsacks within your body which are used to play you.

Supa Hot Fire [soo-pah haat fahy*uh*r]

*noun*

Not a rapper.

(also: Rap)
(also: Art)

n. Dr. Bartlett, of the Bulletin.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

charles bukowski: the man, the poet, the big big drinker.
and he will tell you to reinvent yourself,

and to go through your own struggles, rather than seeking approval from someone like him.

n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. (See MOLECULE.) According to Leibnitz, as nearly as he seems willing to be understood, the monad has body without bulk, and mind without manifestation — Leibnitz knows him by the innate power of considering. He has founded upon him a theory of the universe, which the creature bears without resentment, for the monad is a gentleman. Small as he is, the monad contains all the powers and possibilities needful to his evolution into a German philosopher of the first class — altogether a very capable little fellow. He is not to be confounded with the microbe, or bacillus; by its inability to discern him, a good microscope shows him to be of an entirely distinct species.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A competition in which, two teams of men share balls in an attempt to stuff them into more holes than the opposing team.

(also: football)