severalty

the devils dictionary
Separateness, as, lands in severalty, i.e., lands held individually, not in joint ownership. Certain tribes of Indians are believed now to be sufficiently civilized to have in severalty the lands that they have hitherto held as tribal organizations, and could not sell to the Whites for waxen beads and potato whisky.

Lo! the poor Indian whose unsuited mind
Saw death before, hell and the grave behind;
Whom thrifty settlers ne'er besought to stay —
His small belongings their appointed prey;
Whom Dispossession, with alluring wile,
Persuaded elsewhere every little while!
His fire unquenched and his undying worm
By "land in severalty" (charming term!)
Are cooled and killed, respectively, at last,
And he to his new holding anchored fast!

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

toothpick

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a small tree able to be held between two fingers, used to scrape leftovers from between your teeth or debris from other hard-to-reach spaces.

... usually it is considered a bad idea to do both with the same toothpick.

lore

the devils dictionary
n. Learning—particularly that sort which is not derived from a regular course of instruction but comes of the reading of occult books, or by nature. This latter is commonly designated as folk-lore and embraces popular myths and superstitions. In Baring-Gould's Curious Myths of the Middle Ages the reader will find many of these traced backward, through various peoples on converging lines, toward a common origin in remote antiquity. Among these are the fables of "Teddy the Giant Killer," "The Sleeping John Sharp Williams," "Little Red Riding Hood and the Sugar Trust," "Beauty and the Brisbane," "The Seven Aldermen of Ephesus," "Rip Van Fairbanks," and so forth. The fable which Goethe so affectingly relates under the title of "The Erl-King" was known two thousand years ago in Greece as "The Demos and the Infant Industry." One of the most general and ancient of these myths is that Arabian tale of "
Ali Baba and the Forty Rockefellers."

(also: Rockefeller)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

canada

orikami
"sorry!"

canada

----- -----
(also: north america)
(also: trans-canada highway)
(also: some gorgeous landscapes)
(also: some bloody history)
(also: multilingualism for the win (not just english+french))

(also: spelling things with style ("u" bet!))
(also: metric system)
(also: western democracy)
(also: no one is happy with Trudeau; not the progressives, not the conservatives)
(also: first world activism & guilt)
(also: saviour complex)

(also: the world wide social web is blurring global boundaries)
(also: steeped in mainstream (materialist, consumerist, reductionist, divisive) thinking)
(also: social justice debates and concerns)
(also: recycling/green craze, we should be reducing/ reusing (simple & effective))
(also: budding psychedelic renaissance)
(also: smaller anti-vax movement than US)

birth

trustycoffeemug
the process by which a new human being is brought into the world. traditionally occurs nine months after the act of coitus between a fertile male and female individual.

births are generally regarded as joyous occasions, until the oxytocin wears off and the dread sets in.

satyr

the devils dictionary
One of the few characters of the Grecian mythology accorded recognition in the Hebrew. (Leviticus, xvii, 7.) The satyr was at first a member of the dissolute community acknowledging a loose allegiance to Dionysus, but underwent many transformations and improvements. Not infrequently he is confounded with the faun, a later and decenter creation of the Romans, who was less like a man and more like a goat.
(also: mythology)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

monad

the devils dictionary
n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. (See MOLECULE.) According to Leibnitz, as nearly as he seems willing to be understood, the monad has body without bulk, and mind without manifestation — Leibnitz knows him by the innate power of considering. He has founded upon him a theory of the universe, which the creature bears without resentment, for the monad is a gentleman. Small as he is, the monad contains all the powers and possibilities needful to his evolution into a German philosopher of the first class — altogether a very capable little fellow. He is not to be confounded with the microbe, or bacillus; by its inability to discern him, a good microscope shows him to be of an entirely distinct species.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)



dream

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the late-night movie that plays within one's head while one is in the throes of sleep. a typical dream is likely to be some combination of unfocused, deranged, erotic, and terrifying.

a goodly amount of folklore surrounds the act of dreaming, with some believing them to be tinged with prophetic foresight or symbolic inner meaning. this is difficult to reconcile with the sheer weight of dreams of an erotic nature, since we all know that shit just ain't happening.

the everly brothers assure you that, should they want you and your charms in their arms, they may achieve this state of affairs within their dreams

(also: nightmare), for dreams that are scary
(also: wet dream), for dreams that are... wet.

your child is a good listener

snape
(phrase) The familiar refrain of educators adept in the art of white lies. A diplomatic declaration bestowed upon students who possess an uncanny ability to hear sound waves while conveniently ignoring their content. Like a selective audio sponge, they master the art of nodding and smiling while mentally vacationing on distant shores. A testament to their imagination and the perpetual optimism of teachers caught in the labyrinth of classroom diplomacy.

(also: Your child is a joy to teach)
(also: Your child is a quick learner)

chimpanzee

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the nearest relative to humanity in the animal kingdom, sharing our boundless savagery but generally looking cuter in tiny clothes or while riding a unicycle

not to be confused with bonobos, assuming one wishes to keep their face glued onto their skull

spouse

trustycoffeemug
(n.) person you live with who refuses to admit that they snore and never seems to know what they want for dinner.

the final evolved-form of a boyfriend or girlfriend (or less gender-specific significant other); often distinguishable from the early forms by the additional 25-30 pounds.

satire

the devils dictionary
An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness. In this country satire never had more than a sickly and uncertain existence, for the soul of it is wit, wherein we are dolefully deficient, the humor that we mistake for it, like all humor, being tolerant and sympathetic. Moreover, although Americans are "endowed by their Creator" with abundant vice and folly, it is not generally known that these are reprehensible qualities, wherefore the satirist is popularly regarded as a sour-spirited knave, and his every victim's outcry for codefendants evokes a national assent.

Hail Satire! be thy praises ever sung
In the dead language of a mummy's tongue,
For thou thyself art dead, and damned as well —
Thy spirit (usefully employed) in Hell.
Had it been such as consecrates the Bible
Thou hadst not perished by the law of libel.
—Barney Stims
(also: humor)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

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