(n.) a merry-go-round; a carnival attraction consisting of a large round gazebo, rotating slowly as it emits menacing calliope music, and filled with petrified and impaled animals on which merrymakers are invited to ride.

n. A tall building on the seashore in which the government maintains a lamp and the friend of a politician.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The original John Henry, this 1st century folk hero died building inroads as fast as the emperor of Rome.

A famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.
An ancient philosopher, expounding his conviction that life is no better than death, was asked by a disciple why, then, he did not die. "Because," he replied, "death is no better than life." It is longer.
(also: feedom)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.”
― Victor Hugo

(n.) ravening hordes, unwashed masses, hoi polloi or riffraff

(also: horde)

"autonomous sensory meridian response:" a pleasurably shivery tingly sensation you get when you hear a sound you really like.

a surprising amount of online content has been created and put up on the internet, in order to help viewers experience this sensation.

... it's not pornography. we are assured that it is not pornography.

The leading figure in a small group of men of whom — and of whom only — it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.

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If that's an honor surely 'tis a greater
To have been a simple and undamned spectator.
Behold in me a man of mark and note
Whom no elector e'er denied a vote! —
An undiscredited, unhooted gent
Who might, for all we know, be President
By acclamation. Cheer, ye varlets, cheer —
I'm passing with a wide and open ear!
—Jonathan Fomry
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1723-1790) Scottish social philosopher and pioneer of classical economics.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: adam smith quotes)

(american) an american variation of football, refined to have even more complicated rules so that the on-field action becomes even more slow and excruciating. while nobody in recorded history actually knows how this game is played, and americans are too embarrassed to admit it, it seems to involve large men trying to dogpile each other while a pig's bladder is thrown out of bounds.

someone better than you, but you're not resorting to accusing them of cheating, only of making an effort.

A receptacle for such sacred objects as pieces of the true cross, short-ribs of the saints, the ears of Balaam's ass, the lung of the cock that called Peter to repentance and so forth. Reliquaries are commonly of metal, and provided with a lock to prevent the contents from coming out and performing miracles at unseasonable times. A feather from the wing of the Angel of the Annunciation once escaped during a sermon in Saint Peter's and so tickled the noses of the congregation that they woke and sneezed with great vehemence three times each. It is related in the Gesta Sanctorum that a sacristan in the Canterbury cathedral surprised the head of Saint Dennis in the library. Reprimanded by its stern custodian, it explained that it was seeking a body of doctrine. This unseemly levity so enraged the diocesan that the offender was publicly anathematized, thrown into the Stour and replaced by another head of Saint Dennis, brought from Rome.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

nefarious ends

(noun) A numerical dance floor where digits frolic and numbers tango. An essential collection of mathematical partnerships, showcasing the art of combining and multiplying. From the sprightly duo of 1 and 1 to the energetic ensemble of 12 times 12, these tables unveil the secrets of multiplication, transforming minds into nimble calculators and turning ordinary arithmetic into a dazzling symphony of mathematical harmony.

Teaching Tip: Help students memorize multiplication tables by incorporating mnemonic devices or songs that make the process more engaging and memorable. Use visual aids like multiplication charts or manipulatives to provide a concrete representation of the concepts. Additionally, encourage regular practice through interactive games or timed drills to reinforce multiplication facts.

Denial of something desired; as an elderly maiden's hand in marriage, to a rich and handsome suitor; a valuable franchise to a rich corporation, by an alderman; absolution to an impenitent king, by a priest and so forth. Refusals are graded in a descending scale of finality thus: the refusal absolute, the refusal conditional, the refusal tentative and the refusal feminine. The last is called by some casuists the refusal assentive.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a device used to do a thing. the use of tools is a major component of intelligence.

the four main tools include the lever, the pulley, the inclined plane and their older brother the internal combustion engine. tools without good agents include hammers, screwdrivers, gimlets, tongs, other hammers, backscratchers, and many more.

having the adjective after the noun in nominal form joined by 'with', such as 'a person with autism' (rather than 'an autistic' or 'an autistic person'), 'a person with bisexuality' (instead of 'a bisexual' or 'a bisexual person'), or 'the person with presidency' (instead of 'the president' or 'the presidential person')

The chief factor in the progress of the human race.
(also: male)
(also: the devils dictionary)

The most acceptable hypocrisy.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)