the hindsight-fueled ramblings of older individuals who forget their own past mistakes and offer vague platitudes.

(also: Relationship advice)

(n.) an imagined society rife with injustice and suffering; wankers are often convinced they already live in one

n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

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The bones of Agamemnon are a show,
And ruined is his royal monument,

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but Agamemnon's fame suffers no diminution in consequence. The monument custom has its reductiones ad absurdum in monuments "to the unknown dead" — that is to say, monuments to perpetuate the memory of those who have left no memory.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A house of atonement, or expiatory chapel, fitted with several stools of repentance, as distinguished from monogamy, which has but one.
(also: marriage)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a large feline predator of south asia that takes a rather odd approach to camouflage but is always dressed in the right colors for halloween parties

some also come in monochrome and tones of gold

Specifically, a cave-dweller of the paleolithic period, after the Tree and before the Flat. A famous community of troglodytes dwelt with David in the Cave of Adullam. The colony consisted of "every one that was in distress, and every one that was in debt, and every one that was discontented" — in brief, all the Socialists of Judah.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1809 -– 1882) –Scientist who proposed and popularised theory of evolution.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: charles darwin quotes)

A particular type of disappointment. By the kind of intelligence that sees in an exception a proof of the rule the wisdom of an act is judged by the outcome, the result. This is immortal nonsense; the wisdom of an act is to be judged by the light that the doer had when he performed it.

An average sized man who was born on an island, and died on a different island. He als had some interesting adventures in between.

csrthrsth

the place people are talking about when they say america, other american places apparently not counting

a piano haunted by the ghost of a pianist, left to forever play whatever piece it was that led to his death.

To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose.
For the one with purpose (also: ultimatum)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the desired state of many a soft soul out there.
genuine, silent, powerful.
decidedly not a Hollywood strong-female-character (TM) move, and not captured by the quirky-dream-girl (TM) either.
ambient downtempo friendly/ compatible.

another one of france's contributions to society (pastry). france is just on a roll, y'all.

a state in which either body or mind is in an unnatural position for a relatively short time period... much like a drifting car - e.g. drugged state or an artist when creating.

(also: art)

The extreme outpost of the face. From the circumstance that great conquerors have great noses, Getius, whose writings antedate the age of humor, calls the nose the organ of quell. It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.

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There's a man with a Nose,
And wherever he goes
The people run from him and shout:
"No cotton have we
For our ears if so be
He blow that interminous snout!"

So the lawyers applied
For injunction. "Denied,"
Said the Judge: "the defendant prefixion,
Whate'er it portend,
Appears to transcend
The bounds of this court's jurisdiction."
—Arpad Singiny

(n.) you'd think this would be some sort of combination caravan and a carousel, but lamentably the term simply refers to a kind of boat.

n. The distinguishing device of civilization and enlightenment.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(Noun) A social media platform that's turned into a breeding ground for narcissism and superficiality. It's a place where people go to brag about their achievements and make their lives look more glamorous than they actually are. From staged photoshoots to over-edited selfies, it's all about presenting a perfect image to the world. While it may seem harmless, Instagram is also notorious for promoting unrealistic beauty standards and perpetuating body image issues. It's also a hotbed for misinformation and fake news, as people share conspiracy theories and spread propaganda without any fact-checking. In short, Instagram is the perfect platform for those who want to live in a self-obsessed bubble and ignore the real issues of the world.

(also: instagram model)

Thirty million generations of philosophers have debated the definition of intelligence. The most popular definition appears in the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation android manuals:
"Intelligence is the ability to reconcile totally contradictory situations without going completely bonkers. For example, having a stomach ache and not having a stomach ache at the same time, holding a hole without the doughnut, having good luck and bad luck simultaneously, or seeing a real estate agent waive his fee."
(also: philosophy)
(also: mice)