n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.
Ah, punster, would my lot were cast,
Where the cobbler is unknown,
So that I might forget his last
And hear your own.
—Gargo Repsky

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) Taking a utilitarian, thrifty attitude towards human remains.

outré, i.e. violently bigoted

(also: market)

a computer program that pretends to be a different genre of pornography

(n.) a place for a judge to decide who wins an argument and who has to pay what to whom. 2) in medieval times, a body of officials, retainers, servants, ministers, and assorted other lickspittles who attend on a king or lord

(v.) to attempt strategically to persuade another to have sex with you

(n.) the real OG! tracing words through time and cultures (aka the memetic flow).

n. A long glove covering a part of the arm. Worn in New Jersey. But "mousquetaire" is a mighty poor way to spell muskeeter.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a mission statement about getting rid of the dictionary's rules or, alternatively, a (rap rock/ hip hop/ satire) band
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down_with_Webster

(also: webster)

A mostly empty frozen waste Land with a few dozen people scattered around the southern edges.

(also: australia)

(also: disco)

(also: techno)
(also: punk)

(also: 80s hair)
https://www.allure.com/gallery/80s-hairstyles-trends
(also: roller skates)
(also: scratch and sniff stickers)
http://www.liketotally80s.com/2008/08/scratch-sniff-stickers/

https://mentalitch.com/top-political-events-of-the-80s/
(also: war on drugs) (at its height)
https://drugpolicy.org/issues/brief-history-drug-war
https://slimemoldtimemold.com/2021/04/19/higher-than-the-shoulders-of-giants-or-a-scientists-history-of-drugs/

(also: hiv/ aids crisis)
https://www.history.com/topics/1980s/hiv-aids-crisis-timeline
(also: Tiananmen Square Massacre)
(also: cults)
https://www.arcgis.com/apps/Cascade/index.html?appid=7b33d5df643842a8875ff9f675ce6ae2
https://medium.com/s/how-to-cult/by-the-decade-notorious-20th-century-american-cults-d62939b065e5

the mysterious otherworldly creature that fuels our imagination and fear

(also: other people)

vlad iii (1428ish-1476ish) was a ruler in romania who became famous for brutally massacring turkish people to get out of paying them back for their assistance in brutally massacring the hungarians

he was not a vampire, but at some point bram stoker, and then the entire world, decided he would be more interesting if he were a vampire. so now everyone just pretends he was. today, dracula-the-vampire is one of the most prolific characters in all of fiction, but has probably not seen a penny of the royalties himself, which just goes to show who the real bloodsuckers are.

The most acceptable hypocrisy.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. One who steals a whole herd of cattle, as distinguished from the inferior actor who steals one animal at a time—a superior stock actor, as it were.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A substance (a vapor i believe) in yiur brain that makes you forget what you like hate or want. Making the entire universe seem like game of shadows it washes your brain of the colourful passion which makes you drunk. You can say mood is decided by ratio of these two substances

(n.) the knowledge that something inadvisable would be enjoyable, generally meant to be resisted to avoid consequences

(385–303BC) Chinese philosopher one of the principal interpreters of Confucianism.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: mencius quotes)

A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.
(also: space)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a flavoring that is nigh omnipresent on food products in the western world between late summer and autumn. presumably there is some deep ritualistic significance behind this custom, though it remains doggedly beyond the understanding of our finest minds

originally used on pumpkins, a variety of pumpkin spiced watermelon