(n.) a near-identical cousin of the chimpanzee, that. Um. greatly enjoys the company of others of its kind.

... giggity.

Reparation without satisfaction.
Among the Anglo-Saxons a subject conceiving himself wronged by the king was permitted, on proving his injury, to beat a brazen image of the royal offender with a switch that was afterward applied to his own naked back. The latter rite was performed by the public hangman, and it assured moderation in the plaintiff's choice of a switch.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

interjection after accidentally speaking in unison with someone that obligates them to buy you a Dr. Pepper. Some people use it to obligate them to buy them a Coca-Cola. This is a solecism.

(n.) a big dumb animal occasionally handy for riding. extremely vulnerable to death by overfeeding, underfeeding, overworking, and minor leg injuries

A filthy paste of servitude, tyranny, fetishism, fear, vanity — and ignorance. The greatest offence one can commit against an ass is to call it a man.

(n.) a food with extra carbohydrate covering

(n.) forbidden, not to be confused with elicit

(n.) a pancake covered in square braille indents for people with blind tongues

Talented actor, humble, charitable, empathetic, flawed and damaged from childhood abuse, struggling with addiction, introvert, artistic

(also: amber heard)

(also: earth)

n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. Three great scientific theories of the structure of the universe are the molecular, the corpuscular and the atomic. A fourth affirms, with Haeckel, the condensation or precipitation of matter from ether — whose existence is proved by the condensation or precipitation. The present trend of scientific thought is toward the theory of ions. The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion. A fifth theory is held by idiots, but it is doubtful if they know any more about the matter than the others.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. An African animal having three horns, two on the head and one on the nape of the neck by which to hang up the carcass after the head has been removed. In those varieties that are not hunted by man, this third horn is imperfectly developed or wholly wanting.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.

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They say that hens do cackle loudest when
There's nothing vital in the eggs they've laid;
And there are hens, professing to have made
A study of mankind, who say that men
Whose business 'tis to drive the tongue or pen
Make the most clamorous fanfaronade
O'er their most worthless work; and I'm afraid
They're not entirely different from the hen.
Lo! the drum-major in his coat of gold,
His blazing breeches and high-towering cap —
Imperiously pompous, grandly bold,
Grim, resolute, an awe-inspiring chap!
Who'd think this gorgeous creature's only virtue
Is that in battle he will never hurt you?
—Hannibal Hunsiker

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The first letter in every properly constructed alphabet. It is the first natural utterance of the human vocal organs, and is variously sounded, according to the pleasure and convenience of the speaker. In logic, A asserts and B denies. Assertions being proverbially untrue, the presumption would be in favor of B's innocence were it not that denials are notoriously false. In grammar, A is called the indefinite article, probably because, denoting a definite number, it is so obviously a numeral adjective.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A super hero whose super power is essentialy trow straws

me

one of several feast days on the gregorian calendar, commemorated by the discounting of storebought confectionery

the frozen wasteland in the north of the american continent (but not quite canada)

like most frozen fantasy lands to the far north, it is ruled by a sinister and shadowy dark lord, this particular one being named vince lombardi. main things to see here include cheese and sausage

A benighted person who prefers home-made deities and indigenous religious rites.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

an engine component that increases the engine's impressiveness.