A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
(also: marriage)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A book full of symbols that explain other symbols so the symbols that explain the symbols can have some meaning.

(adjective): A term bestowed upon something so captivatingly enchanting that it could charm the socks off a grumpy troll. Like a unicorn on roller skates, it possesses an otherworldly allure that leaves mortals entranced and speechless. Use with caution, as excessive exposure may result in an uncontrollable urge to break into spontaneous song and dance.

One who holds the conviction that the governing authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Is the time when you realize that you wasted your entire life,and that you are a horrible person,and the biggest loser in the world,and that no one will remember you after your death and schools will call you the biggest loser in the entire human history and will teach student how not to be like you.

1) the galaxy in which our puny planet resides. because our earth lies relatively far from the center, we can observe most of this galaxy stretched out across the night sky in a glorious cosmic arch, should one desire a reminder of our utter insignificance

2) a confection consisting of a rectangular bit of whipped mousse and molten sugarcane, coated in a mixture of ground chalk and boiled potato skins with milk chocolate flavoring. british people will insist on calling it a mars bar, with the effect of rendering it far less out of this world.

adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
(also: alcohol)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

more theen one cat
(also: cat)

An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.

a very silly and not-at-all good thing that happened in south africa

sounds aptly and surprisingly like "apart-hate" when pronounced correctly.

(n.) person you live with who refuses to admit that they snore and never seems to know what they want for dinner.

the final evolved-form of a boyfriend or girlfriend (or less gender-specific significant other); often distinguishable from the early forms by the additional 25-30 pounds.

(n.) a terrorist who works with the good guys

(also: terrorist)

Walking about. Relating to the philosophy of Aristotle, who, while expounding it, moved from place to place in order to avoid his pupils' objections. A needless precaution — they knew no more of the matter than he.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A race of ancient killers of mice and small birds. They merely tolerate humans thanks large to our ancestors viewing that as gods and feeding them. Mainly the feeding. They are ancient foes of the dogs.

(n., verbal form sodomize) an extremely delicate matter; something sailors do after they get bored of rum and the lash

(n.) just one of the paradoxes throwing a wrench in the explanations of scientific materialism.

(also: paradox)

A supervillain who is currently building an army of intelligence vehicles named Tesla.

To speak quietly enough so as not to be heard, yet loudly enough so as to make the people on the adjacent table aware they are being complained about.

Not to be confused with "shoomble", which refers to black markets exclusively trading in niche items.

Ex. "I swear they stole our wine menus," she shumbled from Table 7. "I'm going to steal them back when they're not looking."
"I swear they stole our wine menus," he shumbled from Table 5. "That's why I stole them back when they weren't looking."
"Fools", shumbled the waiter from the foyer. "With all these wine menus, I could start a shoomble."

Tasks performed out of necessity or in exhange for currency
(also: chores)
(also: career)