Acourding to the flat earth community australia is a lie from the government,and anyone from australia is actualy a spy from florida.

adj. Pertaining to a kind of marriage between a man of exalted rank and a woman of low degree by which the wife gets nothing but a husband, and not much of a husband. From Morgan (J. P.), a king of finance, by a transaction with whom nobody gets anything at all.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

If their food had some flavor, maybe Helen wouldn't have grown up to be such a world-wrecking bitch.

n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."
— Calcraft the Hangman.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(also: cats)

An infamous city within the Roman Empire, where residents couldn't stop naming things. They'd start with a simple concept like happy or sad, then they'd end up with a word for "temporary lustful attachment to an unidentified mushroom on the forest floor."

the point in a story when they wrap it all up, not because the plot has been building towards resolution, but because this is the end of the book and the editor wants a resolution.

(also: pantaloons)

A country in the middle of europe with a, for lack of a better term, troubled history during the 20th century.
It also is a founding member of the European Union.

(also: European Union)

Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as, the Dalai Lama of Thibet; the Moogum of M'bwango; the temple of Apes in Ceylon; the Cow in India; the Crocodile, the Cat and the Onion of ancient Egypt; the Mufti of Moosh; the hair of the dog that bit Noah, etc.

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All things are either sacred or profane.
The former to ecclesiasts bring gain;
The latter to the devil appertain.
—Dumbo Omohundro

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.”
― John Lennon
(author: John Lennon)

To tipple, booze, swill, soak, guzzle, lush, bib or swig. In the individual, toping is regarded with disesteem, but toping nations are in the forefront of civilization and power. When pitted against the hard-drinking Christians the abstemious Mahometans go down like grass before the scythe. In India one hundred thousand beef-eating and brandy-and-soda-guzzling Britons hold in subjection two hundred and fifty million vegetarian abstainers of the same Aryan race. With what an easy grace the whisky-loving American pushed the temperate Spaniard out of his possessions! From the time when the Berserkers ravaged all the coasts of western Europe and lay drunk in every conquered port it has been the same way: everywhere the nations that drink too much are observed to fight rather well and not too righteously. Wherefore the estimable old ladies who abolished the canteen from the American army may justly boast of having materially augmented the nation's military power.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

ultimate cure for internet boredom and depression epidemic

The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death. Augustine Nicholas relates that a poor peasant who had been accused of sorcery was put to the torture to compel a confession. After enduring a few gentle agonies the suffering simpleton admitted his guilt, but naïvely asked his tormentors if it were not possible to be a sorcerer without knowing it.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the basic human decency afforded by obeying me

(n.) a contradiction that, once really accepted and explored and understood, reveals a deeper truth. but, as they say, it's turtles all the way down, so don't get cocky now. your deeper truth probably (99.9999% of the time) leans on an even deeper truth.

(also: koan)
(also: thesis-antithesis-synthesis)
(also: turtles all the way down)

n. A malevolent deity of the Scandinavian mythology, described in the Edda as a serpent embracing the world. This is the greatest snake story on record and is now generally disbelieved.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

to parade (your pet) around.

(n.) a cat or something close enough to a cat

also: lion, tiger, leopard, jaguar, cheetah, puma, lynx... clearly someone went overboard on the varieties of cat

(adj.) describing something that is like a cat or like a thing that is close enough to a cat

(n.) person you live with who refuses to admit that they snore and never seems to know what they want for dinner.

the final evolved-form of a boyfriend or girlfriend (or less gender-specific significant other); often distinguishable from the early forms by the additional 25-30 pounds.