(n.) a shaggy, garishly-dressed, drugged up young person who spends his time zoned out of his mind in some kind of psychedelic rock concert and protesting the general state of things and stuff

they were a major source of parental alarm in the 60s and 70s until they were replaced by, oh, let's say punks

(n.) a figment of one's conscious mind that rates the moral consequences of one's actions; the central aim of civilization is learning that the conscience's dictates cannot be ignored, and thus must be more cleverly circumvented

The name for a state within the USA, once known as Massachusetts. But because the capital is so much easier to say, and because no one knows where the hell it is without its capital existing, the name of the state might as well be its capital: Boston.

Example:
Dood1: hey, didn't you say you were going to Massive Two Shits or whatever?

Dood2: what? Oh you mean Boston? Yeah I went, it was filled with cholos from the vineyards.

To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
(also: the universe)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.
(also: Congress)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A rumor. The sound of a firearm.

---

"Why did you not march to my relief, sir?" said General Ewell to the commander of one of his divisions. "Did you not hear the report of my guns?"
"Well, yes, General, I did hear that report, but I did not believe it."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

am•bur hurd-ing :/ (adj)

One who lies on, gaslights, verbally & physically abuses their partner/spouse.

also:/
One who commits perjury.

also:/
One who fake cries, forces ugly and “sad” facial expressions, and continuously avoids questions she's being asked by the defense, and answers the questions she hears in her own small peanut brain.

Used in a sentence:/

“Can you believe how hard Ashley is Amber Hearding her husband?!? You can clearly see why Justin had to get away from her!”

“ Stay away from that one, the next thing you know she will be you Amber Hearding you to death!”

n. A mealtime inversion that delights the palate and confuses the digestive system.

(also: Breakfast)

(adj.) surpassing the surly bonds of our own mundane experiences in its singular excellence; nonexistent.

(also: european union)

(n.) one of the less intense and therefore more insidious addicting drugs; in many cultures, morning consumption of coffee is part of a daily ritual in which they affirm their resentment of their daily obligations

a historical temple complex tucked into the jungles of the yucatan in mexico, one of the more famous remnants of mayan culture.

chichen itza's central jewel is a pyramid called el castillo, the castle, itself known for the astonishingly painstaking detail used by its architects, who imbued the structure's design with veritable assloads of mathematical significance. the entire complex is almost perfectly arranged so the west-facing staircase of el castillo lines up with the equator, the temple of the warriors with the tropic of cancer, and the thousand columns with the tropic of capricorn, with the sunrise aligning with each on the appropriate equinoxes and solstices. the north-facing staircase of el castillo is decorated with a snaky motif that points in the direction of a sacred cenote, or underground sinkhole-lake.

it also makes funny noises when you clap near it. sort of a tennis ball noise. go on, try it.

beware of mayan stall vendors, they are at their most obdurate in chichen itza and may mob you in a desperate bid to sell you a bird call.

(n.) a thing in the middle (see monkey, malcolm)

usually refers specifically to the thing in the middle of an atom

my book
(author: douglas adams)

Like a simple American citizen beduking himself in his lodge, or affirming his consequence in the Scheme of Things as an elemental unit of a parade.

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The Knights of Dominion were so resplendent in their velvet-and-gold that their masters would hardly have known them.
—"Chronicles of the Classes"
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect. One of these egotists was addressed in the lines following, by Agamemnon Melancthon Peters:

---

Dear Frank, that scrap-book where you boast
You keep a record true
Of every kind of peppered roast
That's made of you;

Wherein you paste the printed gibes
That revel round your name,
Thinking the laughter of the scribes
Attests your fame;

Where all the pictures you arrange
That comic pencils trace —
Your funny figure and your strange
Semitic face —

Pray lend it me. Wit I have not,
Nor art, but there I'll list
The daily drubbings you'd have got
Had God a fist.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. excuse to take a break

interestingly at all developing countries


(also: developing countries which never developing)

n. The day of good deeds and a reformed life. The beginning of happiness

(also: tomorrow) when we get to it
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)