n. Creation's afterthought; an animal that Adam did not name.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

an african big feline, not too different from the north american lynx but with big vaguely chalupa-shaped ears

interjection after accidentally speaking in unison with someone that obligates them to buy you a Dr. Pepper. Some people use it to obligate them to buy them a Coca-Cola. This is a solecism.

n. The end of night and dawn of dejection. The morning was discovered by a Chaldean astronomer, who, finding his observation of the stars unaccountably interrupted, diligently sought the cause and found it. After several centuries of disputation, morning was generally accepted by the scientific as a reasonable cause of the interruption and a constantly recurrent natural phenomenon.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a battle between the greeks and the trojans which probably never happened, but remains one of the most famous battles not in history.

the war allegedly began (sometime in the 12th century BC) over helen of troy, a queen who jilted her greek husband, king menelaus, for a trojan prince named paris. menelaus, incensed, declared war on the trojans and summoned his fellow greeks (including his brother agamemnon, who sacrificed his own daughter to the gods to get them some favorable sailing winds) to lay siege to the shining city of troy.

what follows is a long complicated story involving guys with long greek names, and is most notably summed up in homer's "iliad." the famous conclusion of the war, which actually isn't in said story, involved greeks sneaking themselves into troy inside a big wooden horse and massacring the populace. some of the participants got their own little self-contained sequels; for example, the tale of odysseus' return home in homer's "odyssey," and agamemnon getting iced by his wife in a play by aeschylus

beautiful (white)

Bacon is simply the best part of the pig, in my opinion. It is salt cured, often smoked, and usually from the belly. The fatty belly pieces are just amazing and can be used in so many ways. I like to grill or fry bacon, and use it in sandwiches, bacon & egg and other breakfast combinations, wrapped around grilled scallops, as a topping for grilled oysters, etc. I much prefer it in decent sized slices, not bacon bits, but bacon bits do have their uses, e.g. in salad.

(n.) bit at the front or top of many life forms, where the brain is kept.

among the reasonable, the head is said to be good upon the owner's shoulders; among the infatuated, it is said to be above their heels; one who is in the throes of panic has lost their head; and so on. clearly matters of head are quite culturally significant

n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable. Liability to attacks of laughter is one of the characteristics distinguishing man from the animals — these being not only inaccessible to the provocation of his example, but impregnable to the microbes having original jurisdiction in bestowal of the disease. Whether laughter could be imparted to animals by inoculation from the human patient is a question that has not been answered by experimentation. Dr. Meir Witchell holds that the infectious character of laughter is due to the instantaneous fermentation of sputa diffused in a spray. From this peculiarity he names the disorder Convulsio spargens.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

An implement that cries aloud for hands accustomed to the pen.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

an extra feature of a movie where you get to see the start of a scene, but then it gets interrupted by a character laughing, and then the rest of the characters laughing

privacy policy and user agreement

this privacy policy describes our policies and procedures on the collection, use and disclosure of your information when you use the service and tells you about your privacy rights and how the law protects you.

we use your personal data to provide and improve the service. by using the service, you agree to the collection and use of information in accordance with this privacy policy.

usage data is collected automatically when using the service

usage data may include information such as your device's internet protocol address (e.g. ip address), browser type, browser version, the pages of our service that you visit, the time and date of your visit, the time spent on those pages, unique device identifiers and other diagnostic data.

when you access the service by or through a mobile device, we may collect certain information automatically, including, but not limited to, the type of mobile device you use, your mobile device unique id, the ip address of your mobile device, your mobile operating system, the type of mobile internet browser you use, unique device identifiers and other diagnostic data.

we may also collect information that your browser sends whenever you visit our service or when you access the service by or through a mobile device.

if you decide to register through or otherwise grant us access to a third-party social media service, we may collect personal data that is already associated with your third-party social media service's account, such as your name, your email address, your activities or your contact list associated with that account.

you may also have the option of sharing additional information with the company through your third-party social media service's account. if you choose to provide such information and personal data, during registration or otherwise, you are giving the company permission to use, share, and store it in a manner consistent with this privacy policy

we use cookies and similar tracking technologies to track the activity on our service and store certain information. tracking technologies used are beacons, tags, and scripts to collect and track information and to improve and analyze our service.

retention of your personal data

the company will retain your personal data only for as long as is necessary for the purposes set out in this privacy policy. we will retain and use your personal data to the extent necessary to comply with our legal obligations (for example, if we are required to retain your data to comply with applicable laws), resolve disputes, and enforce our legal agreements and policies.

the company will also retain usage data for internal analysis purposes. usage data is generally retained for a shorter period of time, except when this data is used to strengthen the security or to improve the functionality of our service, or we are legally obligated to retain this data for longer time periods.

children's privacy
our service does not address anyone under the age of 13. we do not knowingly collect personally identifiable information from anyone under the age of 13. if you are a parent or guardian and you are aware that your child has provided us with personal data, please contact us. if we become aware that we have collected personal data from anyone under the age of 13 without verification of parental consent, we take steps to remove that information from our servers.

if we need to rely on consent as a legal basis for processing your information and your country requires consent from a parent, we may require your parent's consent before we collect and use that information.

links to other websites
our service may contain links to other websites that are not operated by us. if you click on a third party link, you will be directed to that third party's site. we strongly advise you to review the privacy policy of every site you visit.
we have no control over and assume no responsibility for the content, privacy policies or practices of any third party sites or services.

if you have any questions about this privacy policy, you can contact us
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A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

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"More dear than all my bosom knows, O thou
Whose 'lips are sealed' and will not disavow!"
So sang the blithe reporter-man as grew
Beneath his hand the leg-long "interview."
—Barson Maith
(also: report)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Worse version of Czech republic full of angry villagers

(double U) has, of all the letters in our alphabet, the only cumbrous name, the names of the others being monosyllabic. This advantage of the Roman alphabet over the Grecian is the more valued after audibly spelling out some simple Greek word, like epixoriambikos. Still, it is now thought by the learned that other agencies than the difference of the two alphabets may have been concerned in the decline of "the glory that was Greece" and the rise of "the grandeur that was Rome." There can be no doubt, however, that by simplifying the name of W (calling it "wow," for example) our civilization could be, if not promoted, at least better endured.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the destination

an intern, but less boring

Freedom without limits is just a word.
(also: error)

n. A property, condition or state of matter. The existence and possibility of motion is denied by many philosophers, who point out that a thing cannot move where it is and cannot move where it is not. Others, with Galileo, say: "And yet it moves." It is not the province of the lexicographer to decide.

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How charming is divine Philosophy!
—Milton

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) one brother fighting over possession of a toy, when the brothers are nations and the toy is disputed territory