(n.) a place of assembly and worship in wisconsonian religion, in which the sacred duty of milk and cheese production is carried out.

(482 – 565) Emperor of Eastern Roman Empire
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: justinian i quotes)

The place where the most people in the world talk trash about the military, but also the place where the most people in the world are married to military members, or professional affiliates.

(also: divorce rate)

a genre of political cartoon that flourished during the prelude to the French Revolution. Historians often consider it scathing satire when in fact it is drawings of political figures masturbating as if that were a point. While the term is historical, the spirit lives on whenever someone says Trump has a small penis.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

falling into the misconception that you've found your significant other and want to spend the rest of your life with them, aka (also: marriage)

WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.

---

They took away his vote and gave instead
The right, when he had earned, to eat his bread.
In vain — he clamors for his "boss," pour soul,
To come again and part him from his roll.
—Offenbach Stutz

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.
(also: humans)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

some feelings
(also: tragedy)

A mechanical device acting automatically to prevent the fall of an elevator, or cage, in case of an accident to the hoisting apparatus.
(also: apparatus)
(also: elevator)

---

Once I seen a human ruin
In an elevator-well,
And his members was bestrewin'
All the place where he had fell.

And I says, apostrophisin'
That uncommon woful wreck:
"Your position's so surprisin'
That I tremble for your neck!"

Then that ruin, smilin' sadly
And impressive, up and spoke:
"Well, I wouldn't tremble badly,
For it's been a fortnight broke."

Then, for further comprehension
Of his attitude, he begs
I will focus my attention
On his various arms and legs —

How they all are contumacious;
Where they each, respective, lie;
How one trotter proves ungracious,
T'other one an alibi.

These particulars is mentioned
For to show his dismal state,
Which I wasn't first intentioned
To specifical relate.

None is worser to be dreaded
That I ever have heard tell
Than the gent's who there was spreaded
In that elevator-well.

Now this tale is allegoric —
It is figurative all,
For the well is metaphoric
And the feller didn't fall.

I opine it isn't moral
For a writer-man to cheat,
And despise to wear a laurel
As was gotten by deceit.

For 'tis Politics intended
By the elevator, mind,
It will boost a person splendid
If his talent is the kind.

Col. Bryan had the talent
(For the busted man is him)
And it shot him up right gallant
Till his head begun to swim.

Then the rope it broke above him
And he painful come to earth
Where there's nobody to love him
For his detrimented worth.

Though he's livin' none would know him,
Or at leastwise not as such.
Moral of this woful poem:
Frequent oil your safety-clutch.
—Porfer Poog

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

What's normal anyways?
(also: life)
(also: the universe)
(also: humans)

(n.) an imagined society rife with injustice and suffering; wankers are often convinced they already live in one

...

---

To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it,
Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)
At work upon a book, and so read out of it
The qualities that you have first read into it.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless. That is the view that prevails in the underworld, where the Brotherhood of Man finds its most logical development and candid advocacy. To denizens of the midworld the word means good and wise.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

noun: to yearn for a result that may or may not benefit an individual's situation due to overlooking consequences and only considering the rewards

a neutral political stance sitting between the extremes of egalitarian not-quite-free-market bureaucratic republicanism and not-quite-egalitarian free-market bureaucratic republicanism

I'm Spartacus

flɔrɪdə/ (noun): a state in the southeastern United States, known for its warm climate, beaches, and tourist attractions. Florida is pronounced as "FLAW-ruh-duh" or "FLOR-uh-duh" in the IPA. It is also where "Florida man" lives

has very little to do with canadian bacon or british bacon

Batman is a furry who beats the shit outa poor people, and then wants them to talk after breaking ther jaw. If you see him run.