Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(n.) life's way of screwing you out of half your Biblically allotted seventy-to-eighty years
an individual, often female, whose affection is more easily negotiable than is common
Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place.
In Boorioboola-Gha a man is presentable on occasions of ceremony if he have his abdomen painted a bright blue and wear a cow's tail; in New York he may, if it please him, omit the paint, but after sunset he must wear two tails made of the wool of a sheep and dyed black.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
In Boorioboola-Gha a man is presentable on occasions of ceremony if he have his abdomen painted a bright blue and wear a cow's tail; in New York he may, if it please him, omit the paint, but after sunset he must wear two tails made of the wool of a sheep and dyed black.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
The part of Africa where the natives got screwed by the Dutch, and then the British screwed both the natives and the Dutch, and then the Dutch and the British teamed up to really brutally screw the natives for decades.
Today the system of screwing ('apartheid') is dismantled and its aftereffects slowly being undone, but there's no help to be had for those crazy accents.
Today the system of screwing ('apartheid') is dismantled and its aftereffects slowly being undone, but there's no help to be had for those crazy accents.
(n.) someone trained to operate aboard a spacecraft, braving such dangers as the pitiless vacuum of space, the burning agony of unshielded radiation, the wasting-away of their bone and muscle mass, and the existential agony that accompanies total realization of one's insignificance in the grand scheme of things, all in the hopes of exploring totally uninhabitable places with generally little in the way of mineral wealth.
astronauts may be said to blur the line between courageous heroism and flagrant stupidity
astronauts may be said to blur the line between courageous heroism and flagrant stupidity
n. A financial doctrinaire in 1896; in 1904 a purveyor of "crow" to the masses.
(also: list of all isms)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: list of all isms)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.
(also: time)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: time)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.
As the lean leech, its victim found, is pleased
To fix itself upon a part diseased
Till, its black hide distended with bad blood,
It drops to die of surfeit in the mud,
So the base sycophant with joy descries
His neighbor's weak spot and his mouth applies,
Gorges and prospers like the leech, although,
Unlike that reptile, he will not let go.
Gelasma, if it paid you to devote
Your talent to the service of a goat,
Showing by forceful logic that its beard
Is more than Aaron's fit to be revered;
If to the task of honoring its smell
Profit had prompted you, and love as well,
The world would benefit at last by you
And wealthy malefactors weep anew —
Your favor for a moment's space denied
And to the nobler object turned aside.
Is't not enough that thrifty millionaires
Who loot in freight and spoliate in fares,
Or, cursed with consciences that bid them fly
To safer villainies of darker dye,
Forswearing robbery and fain, instead,
To steal (they call it "cornering") our bread
May see you groveling their boots to lick
And begging for the favor of a kick?
Still must you follow to the bitter end
Your sycophantic disposition's trend,
And in your eagerness to please the rich
Hunt hungry sinners to their final ditch?
In Morgan's praise you smite the sounding wire,
And sing hosannas to great Havemeyer!
What's Satan done that him you should eschew?
He too is reeking rich — deducting you.
As the lean leech, its victim found, is pleased
To fix itself upon a part diseased
Till, its black hide distended with bad blood,
It drops to die of surfeit in the mud,
So the base sycophant with joy descries
His neighbor's weak spot and his mouth applies,
Gorges and prospers like the leech, although,
Unlike that reptile, he will not let go.
Gelasma, if it paid you to devote
Your talent to the service of a goat,
Showing by forceful logic that its beard
Is more than Aaron's fit to be revered;
If to the task of honoring its smell
Profit had prompted you, and love as well,
The world would benefit at last by you
And wealthy malefactors weep anew —
Your favor for a moment's space denied
And to the nobler object turned aside.
Is't not enough that thrifty millionaires
Who loot in freight and spoliate in fares,
Or, cursed with consciences that bid them fly
To safer villainies of darker dye,
Forswearing robbery and fain, instead,
To steal (they call it "cornering") our bread
May see you groveling their boots to lick
And begging for the favor of a kick?
Still must you follow to the bitter end
Your sycophantic disposition's trend,
And in your eagerness to please the rich
Hunt hungry sinners to their final ditch?
In Morgan's praise you smite the sounding wire,
And sing hosannas to great Havemeyer!
What's Satan done that him you should eschew?
He too is reeking rich — deducting you.
Definition in theory: A cooperative roleplaying game where the players interact with the world and characters of the Dungeon Master's creation, and roll dice to determine the success or failure of their outcomes.
Definition in reality: An absolutely chaotic choose-own-adventure where the players get into every shenanigan possible, the DM constantly weighing their questions of “can I do this random bullshit?” against the rules, story, and overall balance of the game, and an absolute blast of a game that leaves everyone involved excited for next session.
“I heard you're playing Dungeons and Dragons, Jimmy! Haha, you're such a nerd!”
“We managed to con an evil wizard out of some very powerful items by wining a rap battle. He got mad and tried to kill us. We put him in a magical box with a bunch of huge, angry hamsters and watched then fight to the death. If that makes me a nerd, Carl, then I'll happily accept the title.”
“...soooo, that actually sounds kinda fun. When's your next session, and can I play too?”
Definition in reality: An absolutely chaotic choose-own-adventure where the players get into every shenanigan possible, the DM constantly weighing their questions of “can I do this random bullshit?” against the rules, story, and overall balance of the game, and an absolute blast of a game that leaves everyone involved excited for next session.
“I heard you're playing Dungeons and Dragons, Jimmy! Haha, you're such a nerd!”
“We managed to con an evil wizard out of some very powerful items by wining a rap battle. He got mad and tried to kill us. We put him in a magical box with a bunch of huge, angry hamsters and watched then fight to the death. If that makes me a nerd, Carl, then I'll happily accept the title.”
“...soooo, that actually sounds kinda fun. When's your next session, and can I play too?”
(n.) path that isn't straight
personality type involving quirks like perfectionism, fastidiousness, and recurring horrific images of oneself committing suicide that can get so disturbing that one cowers in a ball motionless for over an hour to stop one from killing myself
the smallest particle, which cannot be subdivided into "sub-atomic particles"
(n.) an elderly man in a pointy hat and robe with star patterns on it. one must hope they also have magical abilities to accompany this garb, or else they'll simply be a very sad and badly-dressed man.
The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.
(also: humans)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: humans)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
one who spends their wealth in a socially acceptable way
Reparation without satisfaction.
Among the Anglo-Saxons a subject conceiving himself wronged by the king was permitted, on proving his injury, to beat a brazen image of the royal offender with a switch that was afterward applied to his own naked back. The latter rite was performed by the public hangman, and it assured moderation in the plaintiff's choice of a switch.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
Among the Anglo-Saxons a subject conceiving himself wronged by the king was permitted, on proving his injury, to beat a brazen image of the royal offender with a switch that was afterward applied to his own naked back. The latter rite was performed by the public hangman, and it assured moderation in the plaintiff's choice of a switch.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(n.) the bad thing that happens to balance the universe out after a good thing. sometimes vice versa
(n.) a category of hoofed animal known for its graceful fragility, probably one of those humanity will wipe out someday. Damn humanity.
many incredible antelope variations exist, particularly in africa; for example, the kudu, the oryx, the wildebeest, the diuker, and the dikdik. wait, that can't be right. dikdik? really? huh.
many incredible antelope variations exist, particularly in africa; for example, the kudu, the oryx, the wildebeest, the diuker, and the dikdik. wait, that can't be right. dikdik? really? huh.
sign-up or face the consequences!
“"observers" must obey the call.”
join