"Mail" (also know as "post") is a purely human and entirely abstract concept developed in most civilised (and uncivilised) civilisations. It refers to the means by which information is transferred from deliverer to reciever, usually by that of an archaic paper-based medium, or its electronical equivalent.

The concept of mail was briefly considered on the planet Joquin Deux, but was quickly disregarded as little more than a modern fad. The way in which the Joquinths would deliver their mail was via psychic projection; shooting the information across the planet as wavelengths, to be sent directly into the head of the intended recipient. Some complaint ensued, however, as the physical sensation of info-waves penetrating the skull was found to resemble that of a gunshot; the bi-weekly delivery of 'How To Get Ahead in Marvolian Advertising' being frequently mistaken for assassination attempts. Upon receiving your mail on Joquin Deux, always be sure to check for an exit wound.

Ex. "Ah, I see the mail has been delivered. Not, in fact, my soul. That was a close one."

(n.) the actions of a spy; for when military action is too indelicate and diplomacy is too delicate

n. The kind of fortune that never misses.
(also: life)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(adj.) suffering, as a result of alcohol, from reduced good judgment and impaired sense of balance, but with the positive effect of total immunity from criticism and greater insight into hidden or nonexistent beauty

also (n.) one who frequently and uncontrollably becomes drunk

The act of talking to oneself eloquently and grandiosely, as if someone were listening. To see it as anything but a sign of delusions of grandeur is to break the fourth wall.

someone who enjoys gobbling down fine food

(also: european union)

(n.) an edible grass that is traditionally hunted and served in a thick milky soup alongside herbs known as marshmallows

(n.) politely saying sorry after you hit them with a hockey stick

n. The distinguishing device of civilization and enlightenment.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a popular plot device where a character must form relationships anew without the need to introduce new characters

A race of ancient killers of mice and small birds. They merely tolerate humans thanks large to our ancestors viewing that as gods and feeding them. Mainly the feeding. They are ancient foes of the dogs.

Slang for a penis.

(n.) the flesh of a pig

to oil up for God, who said "only the slickest shall enter my kingdom"

Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect.
(also: Stupid)
(also: rascal)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A certain literary quality frequently observed in popular novels, especially in those written by women and young girls, who give it another name and think that in introducing it they are occupying a neglected field of letters and reaping an overlooked harvest. If they have the misfortune to live long enough they are tormented with a desire to burn their sheaves.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a communicable disease that's very dedicated to its work

(n.) Shaping and then baking clay at a high temperature to create hard containers, and Link's mortal enemy.
(also: poetry)