(n.) one who tosses; a wanker.

(also: wanker)

Size. Magnitude being purely relative, nothing is large and nothing small. If everything in the universe were increased in bulk one thousand diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remained unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been. To an understanding familiar with the relativity of magnitude and distance the spaces and masses of the astronomer would be no more impressive than those of the microscopist. For anything we know to the contrary, the visible universe may be a small part of an atom, with its component ions, floating in the life-fluid (luminiferous ether) of some animal. Possibly the wee creatures peopling the corpuscles of our own blood are overcome with the proper emotion when contemplating the unthinkable distance from one of these to another.

(adj.) coming from the origin, and remaining connected to it; perhaps transformed, but never warped nor mutilated.
many people of the modern first world live their lives carrying (and burdened by) the mistaken idea that to be original means something has to be new: artists. teenagers. but that's simply not what original means, in its true spirit!
and I do say burdened because it can weigh heavy if you want to be original and leave an original legacy. and it will feel like an impossible task.
release that ego weight.



it's about being true, not about being new.

(also: nothing new under the sun)
(also: a little love is not so bad)

a chronic condition characterized by sudden and uncontrollable onset of sleep. the main thing to remember about narcolepsy iszzzzzzzzzz...

In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an old man. Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an old book.
"Old books? The devil take them!" Goby said.
"Fresh every day must be my books and bread."
Nature herself approves the Goby rule
And gives us every moment a fresh fool.
—Harley Shum

the ancient gaelic harvest festival, held at the midpoint between the autumnal equinox and the winter solstice. by happenstance this causes the date to coincide with the modern holiday of halloween

the word would most properly be pronounced as "so-when," because the irish evidently just do not give a damn

(1721 – 1725) Russian Emperor who expanded the Tsarist Empire to make Russia European power.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: peter the great quotes)

(noun) A numerical dance floor where digits frolic and numbers tango. An essential collection of mathematical partnerships, showcasing the art of combining and multiplying. From the sprightly duo of 1 and 1 to the energetic ensemble of 12 times 12, these tables unveil the secrets of multiplication, transforming minds into nimble calculators and turning ordinary arithmetic into a dazzling symphony of mathematical harmony.

Teaching Tip: Help students memorize multiplication tables by incorporating mnemonic devices or songs that make the process more engaging and memorable. Use visual aids like multiplication charts or manipulatives to provide a concrete representation of the concepts. Additionally, encourage regular practice through interactive games or timed drills to reinforce multiplication facts.

A senseless thing that holds food without eating it.

---

She uttered her mind, without ceasing:
And this is the thought that it carried.
"I fear that your love is decreasing.
How is it, dear, now that we're married?"

Replied that aciduous sinner,
Fatigued of her reasonless chatter:
"When a fellow has eaten his dinner
He doesn't make love to the platter"
—Belijah H. Bimbee
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Apparently.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Bill Nye Day (n.) a kind of day when you don't feel like doing your job. When you walk into the classroom and the TV is in the room and lights are off, you know it's going to be a bill nye day. Bill Nye is a kid's show scientist, which many only watched in school on these kind of days.

a type of candy that is either unpalatable or made of sugar

t is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.
(also: coofl)
(also: key of success)

I'm sorry

n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. Three great scientific theories of the structure of the universe are the molecular, the corpuscular and the atomic. A fourth affirms, with Haeckel, the condensation or precipitation of matter from ether — whose existence is proved by the condensation or precipitation. The present trend of scientific thought is toward the theory of ions. The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion. A fifth theory is held by idiots, but it is doubtful if they know any more about the matter than the others.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the skin of a pig

this entry would have been funnier if you had read ham and pork first. i guess that's your problem.

someone that espouses the virtue of nothing matters and matter is nothing.

These creatures are not quite as they appear. They are merely the protrusion into our dimension of vast hyperintelligent pan-dimensional beings. The whole business with the cheese and the squeaking is just a front.

They spent a lot of their time in behavioral research laboratories running round inside wheels and conducting frighteningly elegant and subtle experiments on man. The fact that once again man completely misinterpreted this relationship was entirely according to these creatures' plans.

(also: Dolphins)

One of two primary sources of food for Italians.

(n.) a way of saying "creature" with an excess of saccharine folksy American charm