n. A descendant of Levi, from whose posterity the Lord ordained all the Jewish priests — an instance of nepotism deserving of the severest censure, as incompatible with free institutions and the principle of civil and religious equality.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a chunk of matter made of silicon deposits. of great interest to both geologists and hikers who need to pee

1st meal of the day... Unless you have a pre-breakfast snack!

(also: bacon)

Reparation without satisfaction.
Among the Anglo-Saxons a subject conceiving himself wronged by the king was permitted, on proving his injury, to beat a brazen image of the royal offender with a switch that was afterward applied to his own naked back. The latter rite was performed by the public hangman, and it assured moderation in the plaintiff's choice of a switch.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Fear of humans in large quantities

(n.) a political leader who uses cheap rhetoric to flatter and incite the badly informed public, exploiting their naïveté. But you folks are too smart to fall for that kind of thing

(n.) a vehicle that consists of one or more carriages that are propelled down a railway track. neither as loving as the o'jays would have you believe nor as sentient as thomas the tank engine would

n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

acting in a humanlike way

(1723-1790) Scottish social philosopher and pioneer of classical economics.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: adam smith quotes)

A very cute small furry thing with a big bushy tail that is fun to -- no, wait, I think that's illegal. But they're still cute and furry.

Mediocre actress and controversial public figure

The first letter in every properly constructed alphabet. It is the first natural utterance of the human vocal organs, and is variously sounded, according to the pleasure and convenience of the speaker. In logic, A asserts and B denies. Assertions being proverbially untrue, the presumption would be in favor of B's innocence were it not that denials are notoriously false. In grammar, A is called the indefinite article, probably because, denoting a definite number, it is so obviously a numeral adjective.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) european country; country you call when you need a replacement germany. famous for old classical musicians or something

Skilled in the art and practice of dissimulation.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A dead sinner revised and edited.
The Duchess of Orleans relates that the irreverent old calumniator, Marshal Villeroi, who in his youth had known St. Francis de Sales, said, on hearing him called saint: "I am delighted to hear that Monsieur de Sales is a saint. He was fond of saying indelicate things, and used to cheat at cards. In other respects he was a perfect gentleman, though a fool."

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
― Marilyn Monroe
(also: life)
(also: Marilyn Monroe)

"Rome wasn't built in a day" is a phrase that has been around for centuries but when it comes to the construction of the ancient city of Rome it may as well have been built in the blink of an eye compared to the amount of time it takes to build a decent cup of tea.

Yes, that's right, I'm talking about the art of tea-making. The perfect cup of tea takes time, effort and patience - much like the building of an ancient city. You have to get the water temperature just right, let the tea steep for the optimal amount of time and add just the right amount of milk and sugar.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Lister, how can you compare the construction of an ancient city to making a cup of tea?" Well, let me tell you, both require a delicate balance of ingredients and timing. One misstep and you could end up with a bitter cup of tea or a collapsing city.

So, let us not forget the true meaning behind the phrase "Rome wasn't built in a day". It's not just about the construction of ancient cities, it's about the finer things in life like a good cup of tea. So, next time you're in the middle of a long, drawn-out tea-making process, remember, great things take time. And if it takes you a little longer to make a decent cup of tea, just think of all the time and effort that went into building the mighty city of Rome.

In conclusion, let us raise a cup of tea to perseverance, patience and the ancient Romans for inspiring us to take our tea-making just as seriously as they took city-building.

the ancient gaelic harvest festival, held at the midpoint between the autumnal equinox and the winter solstice. by happenstance this causes the date to coincide with the modern holiday of halloween

the word would most properly be pronounced as "so-when," because the irish evidently just do not give a damn

n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.