although I am unable to rationalize your misfortune, perhaps God, with His infinite intelligence, might be able to rationalize it.

(c. 1200 BC) Iranian prophet who founded the religion of Zoroastrianism.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: zoroaster quotes)

(1451 – 1504) Queen of Castille, who helped create a powerful and unified state of Spain whose influence spread to the Americas.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: queen isabella i quotes)

(n.) a celebrated political figure, generally more respected than a typical politician by virtue of being dead

(n.) medium sized insectivore with protruding nasal implement.

interjection after accidentally speaking in unison with someone that obligates them to buy you a Dr. Pepper. Some people use it to obligate them to buy them a Coca-Cola. This is a solecism.

sex-neutral version of penis

n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

in ancient egypt: a poo-bah, a big shot. the king (not elvis... except in semipopular musical stageplay "joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat")

a direct translation to english apparently would be "great house"

One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

A particular type of disappointment. By the kind of intelligence that sees in an exception a proof of the rule the wisdom of an act is judged by the outcome, the result. This is immortal nonsense; the wisdom of an act is to be judged by the light that the doer had when he performed it.

britain's version of the deep south, located inconveniently in the north

known for its kilts, heather, bagpipes, fried things, beards, and jabbering. while england is represented by the lion, scotland is (less commonly) associated with the unicorn, and, like the unicorn, scotsmen look like a bunch of sissy girly skirt-wearers until they gore you in the stomach

(1721 – 1725) Russian Emperor who expanded the Tsarist Empire to make Russia European power.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: peter the great quotes)

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
― Albert Einstein
(also: Albert Einstein)

n. Creation's afterthought; an animal that Adam did not name.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The purchase of that which neither belongs to the seller, nor can belong to the buyer. The most unprofitable of investments.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related as follows by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape, S.J.

---

One day a wag—what would the wretch be at?—
Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT,
And said it was a god's name! Straight arose
Fantastic priests and postulants (with shows,
And mysteries, and mummeries, and hymns,
And disputations dire that lamed their limbs)
To serve his temple and maintain the fires,
Expound the law, manipulate the wires.
Amazed, the populace the rites attend,
Believe whate'er they cannot comprehend,
And, inly edified to learn that two
Half-hairs joined so and so (as Art can do)
Have sweeter values and a grace more fit
Than Nature's hairs that never have been split,
Bring cates and wines for sacrificial feasts,
And sell their garments to support the priests.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1509 – 27 May 1564) Christian theologian who developed a strict brand of Protestant Christianity which stressed the doctrine of predestination.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: john calvin quotes)

An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
(also: alexander graham bell)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)