The young of the Procyanthropos, or Americanus dominans. It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a cat or something close enough to a cat

also: lion, tiger, leopard, jaguar, cheetah, puma, lynx... clearly someone went overboard on the varieties of cat

(adj.) describing something that is like a cat or like a thing that is close enough to a cat

(n.) an arthropodal critter that combines features of the spider and the snake. some species are equipped with venom for the incapacitation of prey, for times when creepy legs are insufficient

a one-off decision by lawmakers to let democracy determine the course of governance.

(n.) the process by which a species changes and adapts. on a short term basis the process consists of ensuring that the less helpful members of the population do not breed. it does not always work.

as it happens, i think you'll find i'm the one who's spartacus

The state and title of a king. Regarded with a just contempt by the Most Eminent Grand Masters, Grand Chancellors, Great Incohonees and Imperial Potentates of the ancient and honorable orders of republican America.
(also: America)
(also: the devils dictionary)

To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
(also: the universe)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(noun):
A charming little surprise that life throws at you when you least expect it, like a mischievous imp hiding in the shadows. It's a tiny annoyance that grows into an epic saga, making simple tasks feel like climbing Mount Everest with a rubber chicken.



(also: rubber chicken)

the final prayers of the day before driving home from church

marcus antonious (83-30 BC) is a dead roman guy.

once a sidekick to julius caesar, whom he served faithfully as a general but also humiliated a few times by routinely turning up to the senate pig-bastard drunk (this got him into a pissing match with cicero).

when julius kicked the bucket, marc took over as big cheese and set to work thrashing his old master's assassins. however, he was beaten to the punch by augustus caesar, the adopted son of the late caesar, who managed to take control of rome while marcy went skulking around the eastern world looking for allies. this led marc antony to shack up with cleopatra vii, with whom he had a torrid love affair. this sordid romance came to an end when marc antony's armies were well and truly smashed in actium, and he committed suicide to escape octavian's reprisal.

a dead british guy named william shakespeare wrote a little ditty about it.

Someone who spends his life drunk half of the time, while either sleeping or getting drunk the other half.

(also: Me)
(also: Drunk)

(n.) the non-union, discounted equivalent of a penguin

a game that begins to lay the psychological framework of addictive personality disorder within the minds of children, in a subtle-enough way that parents do not notice it, until the process is long-completed.

(also: indoctrination)

a horrific mouthless bird-monster used in heraldry. It doesn't represent anything.

one of the baltic nations alongside latvia and lithuania. came out of nowhere in the foggy annals of history when those uncouth crusaders from prussia decided to attack it. after that it spent a lot of time getting roughed up by prussians, nazis, and soviets, and now presumably wishes it could go back to obscurity

The uniform of the poor, serving to distinguish these creatures from their creators.
(also: poor)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

This animal dirive little fishes to surface ,and close his mouth finally dive back
(also: elon musk)
(also: bitcoin)

In politics the party that prevents the Government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
The King of Ghargaroo, who had been abroad to study the science of government, appointed one hundred of his fattest subjects as members of a parliament to make laws for the collection of revenue. Forty of these he named the Party of Opposition and had his Prime Minister carefully instruct them in their duty of opposing every royal measure. Nevertheless, the first one that was submitted passed unanimously. Greatly displeased, the King vetoed it, informing the Opposition that if they did that again they would pay for their obstinacy with their heads. The entire forty promptly disemboweled themselves.

"What shall we do now?" the King asked. "Liberal institutions cannot be maintained without a party of Opposition."

"Splendor of the universe," replied the Prime Minister, "it is true these dogs of darkness have no longer their credentials, but all is not lost. Leave the matter to this worm of the dust."

So the Minister had the bodies of his Majesty's Opposition embalmed and stuffed with straw, put back into the seats of power and nailed there. Forty votes were recorded against every bill and the nation prospered. But one day a bill imposing a tax on warts was defeated — the members of the Government party had not been nailed to their seats! This so enraged the King that the Prime Minister was put to death, the parliament was dissolved with a battery of artillery, and government of the people, by the people, for the people perished from Ghargaroo.

an eastern european nation known for the strong bones of its peasant women and the exceptional quality of its turnips