(n.) a craft intended to move across the top of a body of water. if it's really big it's called a ship. musical performer styx famously used one of these to saaaaaaaail away

(also: guidance)

(n.) one brother fighting over possession of a toy, when the brothers are nations and the toy is disputed territory

(n.) one who is idiotic; one whose lack of mental acuity is a source of perennial frustration; those who invariably surround the consternated genius in the room

socially scarce, and thus socially valuable

(n.) country that serves as the origin place of western society and democracy (at least, the original kind of western society and democracy, with less individual freedom and more gay sex).

Famed for the understated beauty of their marble statues (even though those statues were originally painted and look nothing like the artists originally intended)

A certain quality of the human hand in its relation to the coin of the realm. It attains its highest development in the hand of authority and is considered a serviceable equipment for a career in politics. The following illustrative lines were written of a Californian gentleman in high political preferment, who has passed to his accounting:

---

Of such tenacity his grip
That nothing from his hand can slip.
Well-buttered eels you may o'erwhelm
In tubs of liquid slippery-elm
In vain — from his detaining pinch
They cannot struggle half an inch!
'Tis lucky that he so is planned
That breath he draws not with his hand,
For if he did, so great his greed
He'd draw his last with eager speed.
Nay, that were well, you say. Not so
He'd draw but never let it go!
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) planet earth's seventh continent, as long as one decides to list it seventh while counting, and which is not a continent, technically speaking (it's just australia, which *is* a continent, and all the other places in the pacific that don't belong to any others)

in addition to australia, oceania is usually considered to include
* micronesia (including kiribati, resting comfortably right on the international date line)
* melanesia (including papua new guinea and, like... I guess some places they might have used for filming in "survivor." anyone remember that show?)
* and polynesia (including new zealand, hawaii, samoa, and the delightful statue heads at easter island)

a method of poverty reduction in which poverty is located and bombed to oblivion

Expression. The artful response to someone's attempt at assistance that's akin to receiving a single raisin as payment for winning a chocolate factory.

(also: shame on you)

(n.) the element Superman came from

(n.) an expensive yet high quality nut

Get your mind out of the gutter

(n.) the frog's wartier, homelier cousin

britain's version of the deep south, located inconveniently in the north

known for its kilts, heather, bagpipes, fried things, beards, and jabbering. while england is represented by the lion, scotland is (less commonly) associated with the unicorn, and, like the unicorn, scotsmen look like a bunch of sissy girly skirt-wearers until they gore you in the stomach

(n.) ain't it the most common kind?

rsvp, répondez s'il vous plaît
asap, as soon as possible
lmao, laughing my ass off
rofl, rolling on the floor laughing
wdym, what do you mean
fwiw, for what it's worth
iirc, if I recall correctly
imho, in my honest/ humble opinion
ttyl, talk to you later
tyvm, thank you very much
tgif, thank god it's friday
byob, bring your own beer/ bottle
nsfw, not safe for work
acab, all cops are bastards
awol, absent without leave
ymmv, your mileage may vary

http, hyper-text transfer protocol
fifo, first in, first out
adhd, hyperactivity disorder
mdma, 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine
nasa, National Aeronautics and Space Administration
ussr, union of soviet state republic

(n.) an evasive and ambiguous phrase used in lieu of a direct and to-the-point phrase, for the sake of tact

Mediocre actress and controversial public figure

An habiliment of the stage designed to reinforce the general acclamation of the press agent with a particular publicity. Public attention was once somewhat diverted from this garment to Miss Lillian Russell's refusal to wear it, and many were the conjectures as to her motive, the guess of Miss Pauline Hall showing a high order of ingenuity and sustained reflection. It was Miss Hall's belief that nature had not endowed Miss Russell with beautiful legs. This theory was impossible of acceptance by the male understanding, but the conception of a faulty female leg was of so prodigious originality as to rank among the most brilliant feats of philosophical speculation! It is strange that in all the controversy regarding Miss Russell's aversion to tights no one seems to have thought to ascribe it to what was known among the ancients as "modesty." The nature of that sentiment is now imperfectly understood, and possibly incapable of exposition with the vocabulary that remains to us. The study of lost arts has, however, been recently revived and some of the arts themselves recovered. This is an epoch of renaissances, and there is ground for hope that the primitive "blush" may be dragged from its hiding-place amongst the tombs of antiquity and hissed on to the stage.
(also: infinite)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

mushy, often colorful excrescence on the underside of tables

A fancy word for "beat to death"

(also: violence)