A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect. One of these egotists was addressed in the lines following, by Agamemnon Melancthon Peters:

---

Dear Frank, that scrap-book where you boast
You keep a record true
Of every kind of peppered roast
That's made of you;

Wherein you paste the printed gibes
That revel round your name,
Thinking the laughter of the scribes
Attests your fame;

Where all the pictures you arrange
That comic pencils trace —
Your funny figure and your strange
Semitic face —

Pray lend it me. Wit I have not,
Nor art, but there I'll list
The daily drubbings you'd have got
Had God a fist.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

story of a worldwide event present in many independent accounts around the world. The fact that it is evidenced in so many cultures shows that they all ripped each other off

a very silly and not-at-all good thing that happened in south africa

sounds aptly and surprisingly like "apart-hate" when pronounced correctly.

(n.) an Australian creature similar to a dog; it rejects the human partnership of its domestic cousin in favor of a life of eating babies

A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not a rabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explained that the comestible known as toad-in-a-hole is really not a toad, and that riz-de-veau à la financière is not the smile of a calf prepared after the recipe of a she banker.
(also: humor)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

bil·lion·aire CEO lives on em·ploy·ee's sal·a·ry | ˌbilyəˈner ˌsēˈēˈō ˈlivz ɒn ɛmˈplɔɪˌiz ˈsæləri |
noun
a modern-day fairytale in which a billionaire CEO, known for their insatiable greed and exploitation of workers, miraculously sustains their extravagant lifestyle by siphoning off meager salaries from their hardworking employees.

v.i. to treat with merited indifference the landlord's notification that he has let his house to a party willing to pay.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A form of penance practiced by the medieval pious. The rite was performed, sometimes with a knife, sometimes with a hot iron, but always, says Arsenius Asceticus, acceptably if the penitent spared himself no pain nor harmless disfigurement. Scarification, with other crude penances, has now been superseded by benefaction. The founding of a library or endowment of a university is said to yield to the penitent a sharper and more lasting pain than is conferred by the knife or iron, and is therefore a surer means of grace. There are, however, two grave objections to it as a penitential method: the good that it does and the taint of justice.

(also: god)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

One of the most plentiful meats around. For some it is a dietary staple. Others a foreign delicacy.

(n.) music for those long-haired snobby elitist artsy-fartsy types; derived from really old stuff

The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.
(also: humans)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

In a math textbook, a self-important term for a word problem

(also: everything)
(also: dominic toretto)

(n.) your opponent's argument reconstructed and polished with so much care and rigour that they thank you, even if you end up proving them wrong.

(also: good faith acts)
(also: good faith actors)

(also: rationality)
https://www.lesswrong.com/rationality
https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/04/07/yes-we-have-noticed-the-skulls/

(also: strawman)

flɔrɪdə/ (noun): a state in the southeastern United States, known for its warm climate, beaches, and tourist attractions. Florida is pronounced as "FLAW-ruh-duh" or "FLOR-uh-duh" in the IPA. It is also where "Florida man" lives

Freedom fighters meaner twin sister but insurgent's morally goth girlfriend.

A mostly empty frozen waste Land with a few dozen people scattered around the southern edges.

(also: australia)

(n.) a terrorist who works with the good guys

(also: terrorist)

(n.) a lifestyle of comfort and enjoyment, justifiable only through abstruse philosophical ramblings

(also: bacchanalia)
(also: food)
(also: drugs)
(also: sex)
(also: alcohol)