adj. Less objectionable.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility. His principal qualification is a degree of plausible inveracity next below that of an ambassador.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavor to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with. From the Latin mens, a fact unknown to that honest shoe-seller, who, observing that his learned competitor over the way had displayed the motto "Mens conscia recti," emblazoned his own shop front with the words "Men's, women's and children's conscia recti."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
n. The period of a thousand years when the lid is to be screwed down, with all reformers on the under side.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
n. One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.
(also: the devil's dictionary)
(also: the devil's dictionary)
n. (Literally, seafoam, and by many erroneously supposed to be made of it.) A fine white clay, which for convenience in coloring it brown is made into tobacco pipes and smoked by the workmen engaged in that industry. The purpose of coloring it has not been disclosed by the manufacturers.
There was a youth (you've heard before,
This woful tale, may be),
Who bought a meerschaum pipe and swore
That color it would he!
He shut himself from the world away,
Nor any soul he saw.
He smoked by night, he smoked by day,
As hard as he could draw.
His dog died moaning in the wrath
Of winds that blew aloof;
The weeds were in the gravel path,
The owl was on the roof.
"He's gone afar, he'll come no more,"
The neighbors sadly say.
And so they batter in the door
To take his goods away.
Dead, pipe in mouth, the youngster lay,
Nut-brown in face and limb.
"That pipe's a lovely white," they say,
"But it has colored him!"
The moral there's small need to sing —
'Tis plain as day to you:
Don't play your game on any thing
That is a gamester too.
—Martin Bulstrode
(also: the devil's dictionary)
There was a youth (you've heard before,
This woful tale, may be),
Who bought a meerschaum pipe and swore
That color it would he!
He shut himself from the world away,
Nor any soul he saw.
He smoked by night, he smoked by day,
As hard as he could draw.
His dog died moaning in the wrath
Of winds that blew aloof;
The weeds were in the gravel path,
The owl was on the roof.
"He's gone afar, he'll come no more,"
The neighbors sadly say.
And so they batter in the door
To take his goods away.
Dead, pipe in mouth, the youngster lay,
Nut-brown in face and limb.
"That pipe's a lovely white," they say,
"But it has colored him!"
The moral there's small need to sing —
'Tis plain as day to you:
Don't play your game on any thing
That is a gamester too.
—Martin Bulstrode
(also: the devil's dictionary)
n. Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
M is for Moses,
Who slew the Egyptian.
As sweet as a rose is
The meekness of Moses.
No monument shows his
Post-mortem inscription,
But M is for Moses
Who slew the Egyptian.
—The Biographical Alphabet
(also: the devil's dictionary)
(also: revenge)
(also: sheep)
M is for Moses,
Who slew the Egyptian.
As sweet as a rose is
The meekness of Moses.
No monument shows his
Post-mortem inscription,
But M is for Moses
Who slew the Egyptian.
—The Biographical Alphabet
(also: the devil's dictionary)
(also: revenge)
(also: sheep)
n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.
(also: drugs)
(also: the devils dictionary)
(also: drugs)
(also: the devils dictionary)
v.i. To butt in.
(also: the devils dictionary)
(also: the devils dictionary)
n. A small metal disk given as a reward for virtues, attainments or services more or less authentic.
It is related of Bismarck, who had been awarded a medal for gallantly rescuing a drowning person, that, being asked the meaning of the medal, he replied: "I save lives sometimes." And sometimes he didn't.
(also: war)
(also: sports)
(also: the devils dictionary)
It is related of Bismarck, who had been awarded a medal for gallantly rescuing a drowning person, that, being asked the meaning of the medal, he replied: "I save lives sometimes." And sometimes he didn't.
(also: war)
(also: sports)
(also: the devils dictionary)
To proceed sinuously and aimlessly. The word is the ancient name of a river about one hundred and fifty miles south of Troy, which turned and twisted in the effort to get out of hearing when the Greeks and Trojans boasted of their prowess.
(also: the devils dictionary)
(also: the devils dictionary)
pro. The objectionable case of I. The personal pronoun in English has three cases, the dominative, the objectionable and the oppressive. Each is all three.
(also: you)
(also: the devils dictionary)
(also: you)
(also: the devils dictionary)
n. One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
(also: the devils dictionary)
(also: the devils dictionary)
n. The final and funniest folly of the rich.
(also: the devils dictionary)
(also: the devils dictionary)
Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.
Material things I know, or feel, or see;
All else is immaterial to me.
—Jamrach Holobom
(also: moral backsliding)
(also: the devils dictionary)
Material things I know, or feel, or see;
All else is immaterial to me.
—Jamrach Holobom
(also: moral backsliding)
(also: the devils dictionary)
sign-up or face the consequences!
“"observers" must obey the call.”
join