also called "galactic basic" or the common tongue of westeros.
language originating in england, where it began as a variant of german before receiving some slapdash latin/french seasoning, resulting in a linguistic abomination. having spread to most of america and australia, it has become one of the more unavoidable languages on the planet.
(n) that sort of fibrous, hairy looking frost that you sometimes see if the weather is just right
you thought it was something else, didn't you? admit it
you thought it was something else, didn't you? admit it
making the beast with two backs when you've only got the one back
there are two kinds of people in the world, those who just got done masturbating and those who are still doing it right now
there are two kinds of people in the world, those who just got done masturbating and those who are still doing it right now
there were many cleopatras in history, but if you'll permit me to duck the niceties, there is virtually no chance you mean any other cleopatra beside cleopatra vii
cleopatra vii (70-30 BC) was a descendant of ptolemy and queen of egypt (in her time a country ruled not by the tourism board but greek nobles). known for having affairs with both julius caesar and marc antony, and somewhat less known for marrying her ten year old brother when she was 18. often depicted as a schemer, a seductress, and an exotic beauty by those who forget ancient people did not use the same hairstyles or makeup styles as modern people.
cleopatra vii (70-30 BC) was a descendant of ptolemy and queen of egypt (in her time a country ruled not by the tourism board but greek nobles). known for having affairs with both julius caesar and marc antony, and somewhat less known for marrying her ten year old brother when she was 18. often depicted as a schemer, a seductress, and an exotic beauty by those who forget ancient people did not use the same hairstyles or makeup styles as modern people.
marcus antonious (83-30 BC) is a dead roman guy.
once a sidekick to julius caesar, whom he served faithfully as a general but also humiliated a few times by routinely turning up to the senate pig-bastard drunk (this got him into a pissing match with cicero).
when julius kicked the bucket, marc took over as big cheese and set to work thrashing his old master's assassins. however, he was beaten to the punch by (augustus caesar), the adopted son of the late caesar, who managed to take control of rome while marcy went skulking around the eastern world looking for allies. this led marc antony to shack up with cleopatra vii, with whom he had a torrid love affair. this sordid romance came to an end when marc antony's armies were well and truly smashed in actium, and he committed suicide to escape octavian's reprisal.
a dead british guy named william shakespeare wrote a little ditty about it.
once a sidekick to julius caesar, whom he served faithfully as a general but also humiliated a few times by routinely turning up to the senate pig-bastard drunk (this got him into a pissing match with cicero).
when julius kicked the bucket, marc took over as big cheese and set to work thrashing his old master's assassins. however, he was beaten to the punch by (augustus caesar), the adopted son of the late caesar, who managed to take control of rome while marcy went skulking around the eastern world looking for allies. this led marc antony to shack up with cleopatra vii, with whom he had a torrid love affair. this sordid romance came to an end when marc antony's armies were well and truly smashed in actium, and he committed suicide to escape octavian's reprisal.
a dead british guy named william shakespeare wrote a little ditty about it.
a weapon utilized for a brief time in the 19th century which proves that something primarily intended to be cool usually winds up being very stupid indeed
named for les apaches, a hardened street gang which terrorized paris in la belle époque, this weapon consisted of a cheaply made pepperbox pistol with a brass knuckleduster in place of a proper grip, and a low-grade knife blade protruding from the barrel like a bayonet
naturally, the gun bit was about as accurate as a coked-up economist and the knife bit had only marginally more shear strength than play-doh, so in effect les apaches were famous for more or less ruining a perfectly functional set of brass knuckles.
named for les apaches, a hardened street gang which terrorized paris in la belle époque, this weapon consisted of a cheaply made pepperbox pistol with a brass knuckleduster in place of a proper grip, and a low-grade knife blade protruding from the barrel like a bayonet
naturally, the gun bit was about as accurate as a coked-up economist and the knife bit had only marginally more shear strength than play-doh, so in effect les apaches were famous for more or less ruining a perfectly functional set of brass knuckles.
all of you shut up, it's me that's spartacus
as it happens, i think you'll find i'm the one who's spartacus
No, i'm spartacus
I'm Spartacus
spartacus (103-71 BC) is a somewhat mysterious historical figure. a greek, or possibly a thracian (from what is today bulgaria), little is known of his life except that he was a military leader, then a gladiator, then he led a massive slave uprising against rome, one of the few wars in history where it's totally uncontroversial to side entirely with one of the belligerents.
since his background is so mysterious, he is one of those historical figures you could potentially turn out to be if you're ever a time traveler (blackbeard is another!)
since his background is so mysterious, he is one of those historical figures you could potentially turn out to be if you're ever a time traveler (blackbeard is another!)
ptolemy i soter (367-282 BC) was a doofy-looking greek man who served as a military commander under alexander the great, for which he was made satrap (governor) of egypt, starting a new greek dynasty over the whole country (as well as other bits of the levant). he also responsible for establishing the musaium, the great library and university at alexandria.
following alexander's somewhat mysterious death while on campaign in babylon, ptolemy was on hand to have the conqueror's body taken to alexandria to be properly buried, which would have been read, by the custom of the time, as a declaration that he was alexander's "real, for true" successor (and it's rumored by some that he might have been alexander's illegitimate brother, though this is unlikely)
the ptolemaic dynasty of egypt was plagued by incest and treachery (yadda yadda) until it finally ended in 30 BC, when julius caesar decided egypt would make a nice backyard extension.
following alexander's somewhat mysterious death while on campaign in babylon, ptolemy was on hand to have the conqueror's body taken to alexandria to be properly buried, which would have been read, by the custom of the time, as a declaration that he was alexander's "real, for true" successor (and it's rumored by some that he might have been alexander's illegitimate brother, though this is unlikely)
the ptolemaic dynasty of egypt was plagued by incest and treachery (yadda yadda) until it finally ended in 30 BC, when julius caesar decided egypt would make a nice backyard extension.
an epic poem written by the 1st century roman poet virgil, it describes the flight of trojan refugees following the destruction of their home city in the conclusion of the trojan war. the central character, a young royal named aeneas, leads his people west, hoping to find a place of sanctuary, finally finding it in alba longa.
the strong implication of the story is that aeneas and his band of trojan refugees will eventually be responsible for founding the city of rome, thus giving romans a more impressive and mythical pedigree (the story even attempts to explain the long rivalry between romans and carthaginians by having aeneas get up to hanky panky with a carthaginian woman with the somewhat stupid name of dido).
do you believe this story? you probably shouldn't.
the strong implication of the story is that aeneas and his band of trojan refugees will eventually be responsible for founding the city of rome, thus giving romans a more impressive and mythical pedigree (the story even attempts to explain the long rivalry between romans and carthaginians by having aeneas get up to hanky panky with a carthaginian woman with the somewhat stupid name of dido).
do you believe this story? you probably shouldn't.
a battle between the greeks and the trojans which probably never happened, but remains one of the most famous battles not in history.
the war allegedly began (sometime in the 12th century BC) over helen of troy, a queen who jilted her greek husband, king menelaus, for a trojan prince named paris. menelaus, incensed, declared war on the trojans and summoned his fellow greeks (including his brother agamemnon, who sacrificed his own daughter to the gods to get them some favorable sailing winds) to lay siege to the shining city of troy.
what follows is a long complicated story involving guys with long greek names, and is most notably summed up in homer's "iliad." the famous conclusion of the war, which actually isn't in said story, involved greeks sneaking themselves into troy inside a big wooden horse and massacring the populace. some of the participants got their own little self-contained sequels; for example, the tale of odysseus' return home in homer's "odyssey," and agamemnon getting iced by his wife in a play by aeschylus
the war allegedly began (sometime in the 12th century BC) over helen of troy, a queen who jilted her greek husband, king menelaus, for a trojan prince named paris. menelaus, incensed, declared war on the trojans and summoned his fellow greeks (including his brother agamemnon, who sacrificed his own daughter to the gods to get them some favorable sailing winds) to lay siege to the shining city of troy.
what follows is a long complicated story involving guys with long greek names, and is most notably summed up in homer's "iliad." the famous conclusion of the war, which actually isn't in said story, involved greeks sneaking themselves into troy inside a big wooden horse and massacring the populace. some of the participants got their own little self-contained sequels; for example, the tale of odysseus' return home in homer's "odyssey," and agamemnon getting iced by his wife in a play by aeschylus
Userma'atre'setepenre, mercifully also known as ramses ii (1303-1213 BC) was a pharaoh of ancient egypt, more specifically early in the nineteenth dynasty, and considered one of the better and more significant rulers in egyptian history.
among his more notable achievements: ordering the construction of the temples at abu simbel, marrying nefertari, many outstanding military victories against the syrians and nubians and pirates, and even signing one of history's oldest recorded peace treaties (with the hittites, egypt's longtime enemies, since you asked). he is also sometimes believed to be the pharaoh mentioned in the biblical tale of exodus (evidence is sketchy, though the book of exodus does allude to the city of pi ramses, which was founded by and dedicated to ramses ii).
he died, somewhat predictably- according to manetho the historian, from simple complications relating to advanced age after 66 years of rule- and was entombed in the valley of kings, in a tomb today called KV7 by academics.
today he is best known for lending his name (or its greek form "ozymandias") to a poem by percy shelley. the theme of the poem is that the weight of history will gradually drag even men of great achievement into the dark depths of obscurity.
among his more notable achievements: ordering the construction of the temples at abu simbel, marrying nefertari, many outstanding military victories against the syrians and nubians and pirates, and even signing one of history's oldest recorded peace treaties (with the hittites, egypt's longtime enemies, since you asked). he is also sometimes believed to be the pharaoh mentioned in the biblical tale of exodus (evidence is sketchy, though the book of exodus does allude to the city of pi ramses, which was founded by and dedicated to ramses ii).
he died, somewhat predictably- according to manetho the historian, from simple complications relating to advanced age after 66 years of rule- and was entombed in the valley of kings, in a tomb today called KV7 by academics.
today he is best known for lending his name (or its greek form "ozymandias") to a poem by percy shelley. the theme of the poem is that the weight of history will gradually drag even men of great achievement into the dark depths of obscurity.
the paramilitary division of the schutzstaffel, the private club to which all all the cool kids in nazi germany belonged
known for their killer's sense of fashion.
known for their killer's sense of fashion.
(n.) the perfect tool for the discriminating lunatic who enjoys swinging something with a bit of heft but just feels a mace or club isn't slicey enough.
(n.) a corrupted term deriving from bantu by way of haiti. according to folklore the zombie is a hollowed-out shell of a human being, utterly devoid of any semblance of free will, just like (insert-adherents-of-unpopular-political-movement here).
if there is any truth to the stories of zombies, it may derive from the shamanic use of pufferfish toxin to place individuals in a state of excited catatonia. whereas this is a topic best analyzed by historians, and therefore boring, the concept has influenced a number of popular horror movies in which masses of zombies are presented as a stand-in for consumerism or man's inhumanity to man or some nonsense.
irish rock band the cranberries once expressed interest in the contents of a zombie's head
if there is any truth to the stories of zombies, it may derive from the shamanic use of pufferfish toxin to place individuals in a state of excited catatonia. whereas this is a topic best analyzed by historians, and therefore boring, the concept has influenced a number of popular horror movies in which masses of zombies are presented as a stand-in for consumerism or man's inhumanity to man or some nonsense.
irish rock band the cranberries once expressed interest in the contents of a zombie's head
there are a number of naturally occurring metallic elements which have historically been noted to be worth significant monetary value, by which standard mining them has been known to be extremely lucrative. historically some of them have been used to mint coins, and today people invest in large lumps of them
among these precious metals are gold (the mac daddy of precious metals, which glows like the sun) and silver (the mac mommy, which glows like the moon), as well as platinum and its orgy buddies ruthenium, rhodium, palladium, osmium, and iridium (these guys just sort of glow like industrial kitchenware).
it is unclear which of these is used to make printer's ink, but it must surely be one of them.
among these precious metals are gold (the mac daddy of precious metals, which glows like the sun) and silver (the mac mommy, which glows like the moon), as well as platinum and its orgy buddies ruthenium, rhodium, palladium, osmium, and iridium (these guys just sort of glow like industrial kitchenware).
it is unclear which of these is used to make printer's ink, but it must surely be one of them.
(n.) a dining room cabinet or sideboard, short enough to serve as a secondary table, in which one (presumably one unwilling to admit they have a problem) may store their booze.
the name 'credenza' comes to us from italian, and means 'trusted one,' apparently because these cabinets were where food was taste-tested for poison before being presented to the pope
the name 'credenza' comes to us from italian, and means 'trusted one,' apparently because these cabinets were where food was taste-tested for poison before being presented to the pope
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