confessions

nightowl

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shumble

nightowl
To speak quietly enough so as not to be heard, yet loudly enough so as to make the people on the adjacent table aware they are being complained about.

Not to be confused with "shoomble", which refers to black markets exclusively trading in niche items.

Ex. "I swear they stole our wine menus," she shumbled from Table 7. "I'm going to steal them back when they're not looking."
"I swear they stole our wine menus," he shumbled from Table 5. "That's why I stole them back when they weren't looking."
"Fools", shumbled the waiter from the foyer. "With all these wine menus, I could start a shoomble."

mail

nightowl
"Mail" (also know as "post") is a purely human and entirely abstract concept developed in most civilised (and uncivilised) civilisations. It refers to the means by which information is transferred from deliverer to reciever, usually by that of an archaic paper-based medium, or its electronical equivalent.

The concept of mail was briefly considered on the planet Joquin Deux, but was quickly disregarded as little more than a modern fad. The way in which the Joquinths would deliver their mail was via psychic projection; shooting the information across the planet as wavelengths, to be sent directly into the head of the intended recipient. Some complaint ensued, however, as the physical sensation of info-waves penetrating the skull was found to resemble that of a gunshot; the bi-weekly delivery of 'How To Get Ahead in Marvolian Advertising' being frequently mistaken for assassination attempts. Upon receiving your mail on Joquin Deux, always be sure to check for an exit wound.

Ex. "Ah, I see the mail has been delivered. Not, in fact, my soul. That was a close one."

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