(n.) one who wanks; a tosser.

(also: tosser)

n. Learning—particularly that sort which is not derived from a regular course of instruction but comes of the reading of occult books, or by nature. This latter is commonly designated as folk-lore and embraces popular myths and superstitions. In Baring-Gould's Curious Myths of the Middle Ages the reader will find many of these traced backward, through various peoples on converging lines, toward a common origin in remote antiquity. Among these are the fables of "Teddy the Giant Killer," "The Sleeping John Sharp Williams," "Little Red Riding Hood and the Sugar Trust," "Beauty and the Brisbane," "The Seven Aldermen of Ephesus," "Rip Van Fairbanks," and so forth. The fable which Goethe so affectingly relates under the title of "The Erl-King" was known two thousand years ago in Greece as "The Demos and the Infant Industry." One of the most general and ancient of these myths is that Arabian tale of "
Ali Baba and the Forty Rockefellers."

(also: Rockefeller)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

adj. Less objectionable.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1042 – 29 July 1099) Influential Pope who ordered the first Crusade to the Holy Land and set up the Papal Court
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: pope urban ii quotes)

Batman is a furry who beats the shit outa poor people, and then wants them to talk after breaking ther jaw. If you see him run.

noun: a person coping with his (or her) childhood trauma by inadvertently choosing people who do not look out for his (or her) interest and thus, may be perceived as either naive or unintelligent due to outside perspectives that his (or her) decisions were misguided and unwise.
example: Over time, many people who are depressed or anxious can overcome their johnnydepp mindset.

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noun: a person whose coping mechanisms cause him/her to be prone to creating/engaging in emotionally draining situations.
example: Teenagers tend to be johnnydepps because they want to fit in.

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noun: a person who is perceived as a victim whether or not he/she has good intentions to help people
example: Mr.Bentley was a johnnydepp because he donated millions to charity, but people still chastised him for spending his money irresponsibly.

a group of individuals who verbally, physically, mentally, and legally submit periods of service to the needs of their country. Historically, support and approval of military has highs and lows, globally. Historically, most needs of military members are not fully honored by the countries they submit service to.

(also: oath)
(also: vow)
(also: submit)

The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

an excuse for European countries to get (ahem, how to put this nicely..) creative.

well, you'd think just European countries. after all, it's in the name, right? --wrong.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_in_the_Eurovision_Song_Contest#Participants
(also: russia)
(also: israel)
(also: australia)
(also: turkey)

(also: pop music)
(also: geopolitics)
(also: block voting)

(btw here, 'my' means 'мы', ergo different pronunciation -- https://forvo.com/word/%D0%BC%D1%8B/)

(also: weirdness abounds)
(also: costume-heavy)
(also: twin-tastic)
(also: high notes)
(also: opera singers)
(also: cultural stereotypes)

and overthinking eurovision in all its glory:
2013: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KDRg_scQSPtB2VoO0cpzg-VeHIsaZFB
2014: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KDRg_scQSNvAwL8Gb6oKx2o68kTBRXR
2015: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KDRg_scQSP_7Bd0rDLjNoLfpG-BuCTj
2016: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KDRg_scQSNq04GQ_agpfBp7sV-V_Gog
2017: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KDRg_scQSNFak9-d88kdTrfACAn7FqJ
2018: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KDRg_scQSOxUEkWwIUp6q02p2IKzOX5

A mistake is only an error, it becomes a mistake when you fail to correct it
(also: error)

(n.) a swenka horse

Just about the most massively useful thing any interstellar Hitchhiker can carry.
(also: the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy)

(n.) a thing which a reporter may report on, in the hopes of validating their career decisions

n. A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Missis (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. In the general abolition of social titles in this our country they miraculously escaped to plague us. If we must have them let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to Mh.

(also: misfortune)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban descendant with a cigarette.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.

Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Fear of humans in large quantities

Sky water that makes your already bad day even worse