a play that's supposed to be pretty good or something. sprung from the mind of william shakespeare.

it's the tale of a prince of denmark whose father dies mysteriously, and he comes to believe his uncle killed said father for the throne after he either a) receives a visit from said father's ghost or b) merely hallucinates seeing the ghost. the rest of the play consists of him trying to trip his uncle into admitting it while he makes lots of vagina jokes, and in the end everyone dies. also there are two clowns who keep showing up to caper around so that the main actors have a chance to change costumes.

at least, i think that's the gist of it. it's kinda hard to make sense of all this iambic pentameter.

has very little to do with canadian bacon or british bacon

(n.) basically a small pork chop.

(n.) uh... ham.

(n.) a vile candy that beguiles you with a bright red shell, tempting you with the sweet taste of strawberries or cherries, only to reveal itself as filthy, tongue-searing cinnamon

(n.) the skin of a pig

this entry would have been funnier if you had read ham and pork first. i guess that's your problem.

(n.) the fat of a pig

(n.) the flesh of a pig

(n.) the flesh of a pig

(also: gambling)

(n.) the non-union, discounted equivalent of a penguin

(n.) an animal much like a bee, but characterized by pure evil and bent on wreaking misery throughout the cosmos.

(also: hornet), and for that matter (also: yellowjacket), cuz they're all the same damn thing, no doubt employing some fiendish masquerade to better infiltrate human society.

(n.) the quintessential hymenopteran insect, the most recognizable variety of bee is a small bombinating ball of fuzz colored in yellow and black. the bee is known for its diligence, its ecological value as a pollinator, its utility to humans as a producer of honey, wax, and other products, and its use of kamikaze tactics when threatened.

if you think we can get by without these fellas then you must bee crazy

(n.) a sweet substance that is employed as a condiment on a wide variety of foodstuffs. nigh miraculously, the substance can endure the utmost marauds of time without losing its palatability.

it is made from bee vomit.

(n.) a place of assembly and worship in wisconsonian religion, in which the sacred duty of milk and cheese production is carried out.

(n.) nature's hat. one of the few remaining patches of fur covering left on earth's dominant bald apes (see human)

one possible means by which the universe may have come into existence, which has eclipsed the "laid by a giant space chicken" hypothesis

succinctly put, this theory proposes that the universe originally existed in an infinitesimal, incomprehensibly small state, then exploded outward and has continued to grow and spread continually ever since, ably accounting for the blueshift of cosmic background radiation

the puzzle of how the universe can expand, implying the existence of an outward territory which is not part of it (despite it supposedly containing everything) is one of those cranium-confounders for big shot physicists to solve.

the little box that the magic voices are trapped in

(n.) a vehicle powered by pasta. well, in a roundabout sort of way.

a man who has never won an oscar despite deserving it more than all the other oscar-winners combined.

yes, i said it. i'd say it again, too.