(v.) to borrow an item with full intent to apologize to the owner if/when caught

(also: theft)

(v.) a tactic employed in contests of athletic or academic skill, which enables craftier competitors to level the playing field with superior athletes and academics

(also: lie)
(also: steal)

(n.) a complex thingy made of various interconnected bits of stuff. the web of a spider is made of silken strands strewn in a net-shape between tree branches and other detritus. the web of political intrigue is made of backstabs and power-grabs strewn between taxpayer dollars.

alternatively, "web" may also be a distinctly radical way of saying "the internet."

someone who wears an animal costume for their own amusement. this presumably excepts people who wear animal costumes for the amusement of audiences at sporting events (mascots). but I'm still keeping an eye on that phillie phanatic guy.

(n.) a comic presented to its audience through the power of the web. the web provides a platform on which comics need not be subject to the gimlet eye and cruel iron fist of the newspaper syndicate, thus freeing webcomic creators to fully realize their true creative vision (usually furry porn)

overstimulating brainrot content for ipad kids to laugh at as they fall into the misery of ipad addiction

describing the middle class who ascended to prominence and superceded the landed aristocracy in the seventeenth century. they successfully embarrassed their social betters by proving there was a path to success beyond an inborn divine mandate, while selling out the lower class by perpetuating the cycle of labor exploitation.

also their taste in decor leans incontestably toward the brummagem.

(n.) essentially a goose but more bourgeois

(n.) buffoonery or clowning-around

sucks to be tom, i guess

a week that commemorates the week jesus christ returned to jerusalem, which ended with his betrayal, crucifixion and eventual resurrection. for catholic people this week marks the end of lent. for everyone else, it is simply the week leading up to discount chocolate at the grocery store.

* palm sunday: supposedly represents the day jesus returned to jerusalem
* holy monday: represents the day jesus cursed at a fig tree (or something)
* holy tuesday: represents the day jesus received the vision of his own impending death
* spy wednesday: represents the day judas iscariot arranged for jesus' betrayal. does not involve james bond.
* maundy thursday: no idea what a maundy is, but this supposedly represents the day of the last supper jesus enjoyed with his disciples
* good friday: represents the day of the crucifixion
* black saturday: represents jesus chilling while being dead
* easter

it can be assumed all of these involve some kind of praying or something.

(n.) little black bird that suddenly appears every time roadkill is near

(n. or v.) the act of destroying or damaging something or someone else for one's own advantage.

something which the beastie boys cannot stand and know you planned

"you're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece!"

-a carefully crafted insult intended to describe one whose appearance might be called grabastic

(adj.) describing something which appears cobbled together from unrelated components, like a quilt made by grandmother, a monster made by frankenstein or a car made by an albanian

a handily decimalized system of measurements that encapsulates means for gauging distance (meter), volume (liter), mass (gram), and temperature (degree celsius). eschewed by americans as one of those things they do to pretend they're not part of the world.

(n.) one afflicted by madness or frenzy; one who dances like they've never danced before

(n.) a ferocious little animal hailing from australia. it may have the power to spin around really fast and make disgusting gurgling/snarling noises. it may not. let's just say it does.

(n.) a probably-extinct critter once native to africa. more properly called the thylacine; although this rhymes with wolverine, this creature is not a close relative of that life form, and is unlikely to snikt, bub, or fight for the rights of mutants.

(n.) a category of hoofed animal known for its graceful fragility, probably one of those humanity will wipe out someday. Damn humanity.

many incredible antelope variations exist, particularly in africa; for example, the kudu, the oryx, the wildebeest, the diuker, and the dikdik. wait, that can't be right. dikdik? really? huh.

actually camels are not horses! horses are odd-toed ungulates, while camels belong to the order of even-toed ungulates, and are therefore more closely related to cows, pigs, goats, sheep, deer, antelope, giraffes, and even whales

now you know, and knowing is half the saddle.