A dead sinner revised and edited.
The Duchess of Orleans relates that the irreverent old calumniator, Marshal Villeroi, who in his youth had known St. Francis de Sales, said, on hearing him called saint: "I am delighted to hear that Monsieur de Sales is a saint. He was fond of saying indelicate things, and used to cheat at cards. In other respects he was a perfect gentleman, though a fool."

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

God is a concept by which we measure our(also: humans) pain

(part of speech) that which hooks up words and phrases and clauses

(also: humans)

(n.) a vehicle that consists of one or more carriages that are propelled down a railway track. neither as loving as the o'jays would have you believe nor as sentient as thomas the tank engine would

In financial affairs, to contribute to the development of a transfer company — one that transfers money from the pocket of the investor to that of the promoter.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mindbogglingly big it is. I mean you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space

If you hold a lungful of air you can survive in the total vacuum of space for about thirty seconds. However, what with space being the mindboggling size it is, the chances of getting picked up by another ship within those thirty seconds are two to the power of two hundred and seventy-six thousand seven hundred and nine to one against.

(also: infinity)

(n.) politely saying sorry after you hit them with a hockey stick

(phrase) The brilliant work of fiction crafted by a cunning student, blending elements of forgetfulness and deception into a tapestry of plausible deniability. A tall tale that seeks to absolve oneself from the burden of unfinished assignments, with a touch of theatrical regret and a sprinkle of innocent confusion. A calculated gambit aimed at evoking sympathy, begging forgiveness, and avoiding the consequences of procrastination. A clever ploy that tests the patience and discernment of teachers, exposing the delicate dance between trust and skepticism in the realm of academia.

(n.) stating that people in a hierarchy tend to rise to their "level of incompetence".
employees are promoted based on their success in previous jobs until they reach a position where they are no longer competent.

(also: incompetence)

(noun) Mother Nature's whimsical playground, showcasing her artistic prowess through a kaleidoscope of captivating landscapes. From majestic mountains that playfully challenge climbers to serene lakes that mirror the sky's every mood, and from treacherous canyons that test bravery to soothing beaches that beckon relaxation, Earth's geological features are a collection of masterpieces that inspire awe, humbling us mere humans with their grandeur.

Teaching Tip: Engage students by using interactive simulations or hands-on activities that allow them to explore and manipulate models of Earth's geological features. This hands-on approach helps foster a deeper understanding and promotes active learning.

a frightfully important person working in the army. if such a person works instead for the navy, they are an admiral. if they don't like the sound of either of those names then they might instead call themselves marshal.

when one is not general, then one is actually specific, and the specific is on the opposite side of the world from the atlantic, and tyler perry built a film studio in atlantic, georgia, and georgia patton is a very famous general so you see, it's all coming together.

the existence of a postmaster-general, an attorney-general, or a surgeon-general does not imply that they lead an army of postmasters, lawyers or surgeons, although that would be mildly amusing.

Bunion of soviet union
(also: onion)

One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.

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As the lean leech, its victim found, is pleased
To fix itself upon a part diseased
Till, its black hide distended with bad blood,
It drops to die of surfeit in the mud,
So the base sycophant with joy descries
His neighbor's weak spot and his mouth applies,
Gorges and prospers like the leech, although,
Unlike that reptile, he will not let go.
Gelasma, if it paid you to devote
Your talent to the service of a goat,
Showing by forceful logic that its beard
Is more than Aaron's fit to be revered;
If to the task of honoring its smell
Profit had prompted you, and love as well,
The world would benefit at last by you
And wealthy malefactors weep anew —
Your favor for a moment's space denied
And to the nobler object turned aside.
Is't not enough that thrifty millionaires
Who loot in freight and spoliate in fares,
Or, cursed with consciences that bid them fly
To safer villainies of darker dye,
Forswearing robbery and fain, instead,
To steal (they call it "cornering") our bread
May see you groveling their boots to lick
And begging for the favor of a kick?
Still must you follow to the bitter end
Your sycophantic disposition's trend,
And in your eagerness to please the rich
Hunt hungry sinners to their final ditch?
In Morgan's praise you smite the sounding wire,
And sing hosannas to great Havemeyer!
What's Satan done that him you should eschew?
He too is reeking rich — deducting you.

(n.) more often than not, a blessing in disguise. a call to refocus on what your body really needs for health. a reframing of values and priorities.

(also: pain)
(also: priorities)

n. A financial doctrinaire in 1896; in 1904 a purveyor of "crow" to the masses.
(also: list of all isms)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) an intense windstorm which forms around a low pressure front over warm tropical water.

generally sent by divine providence to shake florida up every once in a while, when things have gotten too sane

World of Tanks, or WoT, is a video game, generally disliked by most of the people who stubbornly play it. It's a videogame about Tanks, of which there are very few games, so there aern't many other options.
(also: gamer)

(n.) what inevitably happens when you cut off the tail end of culture and leave it hanging, when you rip the religion (aka nascent metaphysics) out of a culture's foundation and deem it 'passe', 'ignorant' or some such without providing a suitable alternative. a bastard child of culture who, on a bad day, develops bpd, does coke, and engages in love-bombing, isolation, gaslighting and other manipulation.

(also: culture)
(also: religion)
(also: metaphysics)

An armed force for protection and participation.
(also: revolution)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)