(n.) a pattern of behaviour that demeans, weakens, demoralizes the soul. something that strengthens one's belief in a real-but-not-true passivity towards one's circumstances.

(also: real but not true)

A species of tree having several varieties, of which the familiar "itching palm" (Palma hominis) is most widely distributed and sedulously cultivated. This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver. The metal will adhere with remarkable tenacity. The fruit of the itching palm is so bitter and unsatisfying that a considerable percentage of it is sometimes given away in what are known as "benefactions."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a special notice intended to take advantage of those who lack free will

n. One who is compelled by the evidence to believe in free will, and whose will is therefore free to reject that doctrine.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A contractual alliance typically between two parties where they agree to share assets and debts. Typical sexual and procreational exclusivity clauses are usually among the first listed in the contract. Comes with an NDA for cases of criminal charges underneath the constitution. The one land only socially accepted escape clause on death of one of the contract holders. However, there exist a method of contractual termination without having activating the escape clause. This method requires documents filled with the appropriate court system and a temporary termination of the contract for a period of sixty to three hundred sixty four days before it can be finalized.

a subspecies of clown that exhibits muted rather than garish coloration, and remains silent instead of boisterous. derives from something very french and philosophical, or so we're told.

(n.) professional term for the more scrapey kind of boo-boo

(n.) what gives meaning to life.
sometimes resulting through a loss of blood.



(also: life)
(also: blood)

n. The kind of fortune that never misses.
(also: life)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

K is a consonant that we get from the Greeks, but it can be traced away back beyond them to the Cerathians, a small commercial nation inhabiting the peninsula of Smero. In their tongue it was called Klatch, which means "destroyed." The form of the letter was originally precisely that of our H, but the erudite Dr. Snedeker explains that it was altered to its present shape to commemorate the destruction of the great temple of Jarute by an earthquake, circa 730 B.C. This building was famous for the two lofty columns of its portico, one of which was broken in half by the catastrophe, the other remaining intact. As the earlier form of the letter is supposed to have been suggested by these pillars, so, it is thought by the great antiquary, its later was adopted as a simple and natural—not to say touching—means of keeping the calamity ever in the national memory. It is not known if the name of the letter was altered as an additional mnemonic, or if the name was always Klatch and the destruction one of nature's puns. As each theory seems probable enough, I see no objection to believing both—and Dr. Snedeker arrayed himself on that side of the question.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) just one of the paradoxes throwing a wrench in the explanations of scientific materialism.

(also: paradox)

A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1578 – 3 June 1657) English physician who made contributions to understanding how blood circulated in the body.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: william harvey quotes)

(n.) what unpaved ground largely consists of. ain't exactly rocks and it ain't exactly decaying organic matter, but a perverted blend of both

One who holds the conviction that the governing authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Having full power. A Minister Plenipotentiary is a diplomatist possessing absolute authority on condition that he never exert it.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a north american hybrid between a dog and a hobo.

In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a kind of snake

which kind? doesn't matter. just some kind. that's all you need to know. move along.

n. The smallest current coin.

---

"The man was in such deep distress,"
Said Tom, "that I could do no less
Than give him good advice." Said Jim:
"If less could have been done for him
I know you well enough, my son,
To know that's what you would have done."
—Jebel Jocordy


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)