(n.) politely saying sorry after you hit them with a hockey stick

college debt

the momentary condition of the planet's atmosphere, particularly with regards to heat, cold, precipitation intensity,, earth, wind, fire, torrents of falling fish... that sort of stuff.

(noun phrase) A metaphorical beacon that embodies the selfless dedication of teachers, illuminating the path of knowledge for generations. Yet, tragically, this luminary role often remains underappreciated and underpaid.

(also: teaching)

(n.) a term used in physics that describes a condition of microstates not being organized into a coherent macrostate, or in other words a condition of disorder

the second thermodynamic law demands that the universe always gravitate towards more entropy; even the act of painstakingly bringing order a system increases entropy on the microscopic level.

The natural conclusion to these facts is that the universe will eventually reach heat death, in which no energy is left for the universe to continue going. here's hoping.

n.

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Once Law was sitting on the bench,
And Mercy knelt a-weeping.
"Clear out!" he cried, "disordered wench!
Nor come before me creeping.
Upon your knees if you appear,
'Tis plain you have no standing here."

Then Justice came. His Honor cried:
"Your status? — devil seize you!"
"Amica curiæ," she replied —
"Friend of the court, so please you."
"Begone!" he shouted — "there's the door —
I never saw your face before!"
—G.J.

(also: law of triviality)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a frightfully important person working in the army. if such a person works instead for the navy, they are an admiral. if they don't like the sound of either of those names then they might instead call themselves marshal.

when one is not general, then one is actually specific, and the specific is on the opposite side of the world from the atlantic, and tyler perry built a film studio in atlantic, georgia, and georgia patton is a very famous general so you see, it's all coming together.

the existence of a postmaster-general, an attorney-general, or a surgeon-general does not imply that they lead an army of postmasters, lawyers or surgeons, although that would be mildly amusing.

A magical device for sedentary lifestyle enthusiasts that lovingly cushions your butt cheeks, like the babysitter your parents threatened to kill.
(also: enthusiasts)
(also: cushions)
(also: babysitter)

(1749 – 1823) Developed the world's first vaccine (the smallpox vaccine). Known as the father of immunology.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: edward jenner quotes)

(n.) an attempt to do oneself in through the most pleasant means at hand, including drunkenness, gluttony, and general revelry

(also: debauchery)
(also: hedonism)
(also: New Orleans)

(n.) the act of hurling someone out of a window. No, that's actually it.

Jewish and/or Christian, used in religious discussions of Christianity by Christians who think discussing Christianity is inherently offensive to Jews. It is often used to prevent Islamophobic rhetoric from sounding anti-Semitic.

a holiday which appears to originate from Gaelic traditions surrounding the autumn harvest festival

in modern america, a typical halloween consists of children wearing expensive costumes to disguise their identities, and wandering from house to house begging for candy, a custom which was difficult to explain to the soviet union

for adults, the custom consists largely of watching horror-themed movies with various levels of eroticism, and dressing up in costumes with various levels of eroticism.

marcus antonious (83-30 BC) is a dead roman guy.

once a sidekick to julius caesar, whom he served faithfully as a general but also humiliated a few times by routinely turning up to the senate pig-bastard drunk (this got him into a pissing match with cicero).

when julius kicked the bucket, marc took over as big cheese and set to work thrashing his old master's assassins. however, he was beaten to the punch by augustus caesar, the adopted son of the late caesar, who managed to take control of rome while marcy went skulking around the eastern world looking for allies. this led marc antony to shack up with cleopatra vii, with whom he had a torrid love affair. this sordid romance came to an end when marc antony's armies were well and truly smashed in actium, and he committed suicide to escape octavian's reprisal.

a dead british guy named william shakespeare wrote a little ditty about it.

Fun fact: italians are either the best people ever, or racists

source: i'm italian

A series of sound that makes sense.

A mobile phone which has a touchscreen and can run a multitude of different apps like video games or social media

(also: mobile phone)
(also: social media)
(also: video games)

(adj.) beautiful and desirable due to being different from that which is boringly familiar

A gift from Heaven signifying, "This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased."
—John D. Rockefeller
The reward of toil and virtue.
—J.P. Morgan

The savings of many in the hands of one.
—Eugene Debs

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To these excellent definitions the inspired lexicographer feels that he can add nothing of value.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) to utilize the element of surprise by avoiding prying eyes, so as to victimize, barbarize, and cut-down-to-size one's enemize

see also ambuscado, bacon tree