These creatures are not quite as they appear. They are merely the protrusion into our dimension of vast hyperintelligent pan-dimensional beings. The whole business with the cheese and the squeaking is just a front.

They spent a lot of their time in behavioral research laboratories running round inside wheels and conducting frighteningly elegant and subtle experiments on man. The fact that once again man completely misinterpreted this relationship was entirely according to these creatures' plans.

(also: Dolphins)

Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.
(also: american)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) see currency, medium of exchange, storehouse of value, moolah, simoleons, shekels, dinero, cash. something designated as having value equivalent to a certain amount of goods or services; this designated value is considered one of the lies that forms a central pillar of civilization.

(n.) an viewing device whose leisure delights are used to treat psychological problems such as independent thought, lack of apathy, and concern with the outside world

A place where criminal lets you know he's sorry.

machine used to make people's voices less pleasant for usage in humorous similes.

(n.) a chunk of matter made of silicon deposits. of great interest to both geologists and hikers who need to pee

(n.) a european nation that's doing very well since the divorce from slovakia

home to prague, the spookiest european capital, as well as... presumably other things

(n.) weapons intended primarily to fight food

Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.

---

Material things I know, or feel, or see;
All else is immaterial to me.
—Jamrach Holobom
(also: moral backsliding)
(also: the devils dictionary)

(v.) doing something you shouldn't be doing.. it'll bite you back.

(also: taking more than your share)
takers v. givers v. otherish

(also: luck)

The climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked arboreal ancestors whom it keenly concerned. The setting up of official weather bureaus and their maintenance in mendacity prove that even governments are accessible to suasion by the rude forefathers of the jungle.

---

Once I dipt into the future far as human eye could see,
And I saw the Chief Forecaster, dead as any one can be —
Dead and damned and shut in Hades as a liar from his birth,
With a record of unreason seldom paralleled on earth.
While I looked he reared him solemnly, that incandescent youth,
From the coals that he'd preferred to the advantages of truth.
He cast his eyes about him and above him; then he wrote
On a slab of thin asbestos what I venture here to quote —
For I read it in the rose-light of the everlasting glow:
"Cloudy; variable winds, with local showers; cooler; snow."
—Halcyon Jones

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

K is a consonant that we get from the Greeks, but it can be traced away back beyond them to the Cerathians, a small commercial nation inhabiting the peninsula of Smero. In their tongue it was called Klatch, which means "destroyed." The form of the letter was originally precisely that of our H, but the erudite Dr. Snedeker explains that it was altered to its present shape to commemorate the destruction of the great temple of Jarute by an earthquake, circa 730 B.C. This building was famous for the two lofty columns of its portico, one of which was broken in half by the catastrophe, the other remaining intact. As the earlier form of the letter is supposed to have been suggested by these pillars, so, it is thought by the great antiquary, its later was adopted as a simple and natural—not to say touching—means of keeping the calamity ever in the national memory. It is not known if the name of the letter was altered as an additional mnemonic, or if the name was always Klatch and the destruction one of nature's puns. As each theory seems probable enough, I see no objection to believing both—and Dr. Snedeker arrayed himself on that side of the question.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) life's way of screwing you out of half your Biblically allotted seventy-to-eighty years

six hundred two sextillion, two hundred fourteen quintillion, seventy-five quadrillion, and eight hundred sixty-two trillion

AFAB
Agender
Aliagender
AMAB
Androgyne
Aporagender
Bigender
Binarism
Body dysphoria
Boi
Butch
Cisgender
Cisnormativity
Cissexism
Demiboy
Demigender
Dyadic
Feminine-of-center
Feminine-presenting
Femme
Female-to-male (FTM)
Gender apathetic
Gender binary
Gender dysphoria
Gender normative
Gender presentation
Gender questioning
Gender variant
Genderfluid
Genderlove
Genderqueer
Graygender
Intergender
Intersex
Masculine-of-center
Masculine-presenting
Maverique
Misgender

Male-to-female (MTF)

Multi-gender
bigender
trigender
pangender
polygender
Neutrois
Nonbinary
Novigender
Pangender
Polygender
Sex assigned at birth
Social dysphoria
Soft butch
Stone butch
Third gender
Transfeminine
Transgender or trans
Transmasculine
Transitioning
Transsexual
Trigender
Two-spirit

(n.) an arthropodal critter that combines features of the spider and the snake. some species are equipped with venom for the incapacitation of prey, for times when creepy legs are insufficient

(noun): A game of numbers in which the winner is the one who accumulates the most imaginary points, while convincing others that these points actually have value.

(also: business world)

(n.) Shaping and then baking clay at a high temperature to create hard containers, and Link's mortal enemy.
(also: poetry)

ultimate cure for internet boredom and depression epidemic