(1783 – 1830) – Liberator of Latin American countries
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: simon bolivar quotes)

(n.) code words used to make one's job sound more difficult than it, in fact, is

A document treacherously inflicted upon a citizen going abroad, exposing him as an alien and pointing him out for special reprobation and outrage.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a performer who either highlights the melancholy of life by pretending to be happy, or highlights the joy of life by pretending to be sad and miserable

writing or other creative work viewed by publishers as something to fill books with.

(adj.) describing something which appears cobbled together from unrelated components, like a quilt made by grandmother, a monster made by frankenstein or a car made by an albanian

ptolemy i soter (367-282 BC) was a doofy-looking greek man who served as a military commander under alexander the great, for which he was made satrap (governor) of egypt, starting a new greek dynasty over the whole country (as well as other bits of the levant). he also responsible for establishing the musaium, the great library and university at alexandria.

following alexander's somewhat mysterious death while on campaign in babylon, ptolemy was on hand to have the conqueror's body taken to alexandria to be properly buried, which would have been read, by the custom of the time, as a declaration that he was alexander's "real, for true" successor (and it's rumored by some that he might have been alexander's illegitimate brother, though this is unlikely)

the ptolemaic dynasty of egypt was plagued by incest and treachery (yadda yadda) until it finally ended in 30 BC, when julius caesar decided egypt would make a nice backyard extension.

(n.) a special notice intended to take advantage of those who lack free will

Anything assuring protection to one in peril. Moses and Joshua provided six cities of refuge — Bezer, Golan, Ramoth, Kadesh, Schekem and Hebron — to which one who had taken life inadvertently could flee when hunted by relatives of the deceased. This admirable expedient supplied him with wholesome exercise and enabled them to enjoy the pleasures of the chase; whereby the soul of the dead man was appropriately honored by observations akin to the funeral games of early Greece.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

title used for royal lawyer-knights

(600 – 530 BC) Founder of the Achaemenid Empire, the first Persian Empire. Relatively enlightened ruler.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: cyrus the great quotes)

the game is: guess the subject matter before watching the eponymous video.


(also: beef)

(also: eponymous)

The final arbiter in international disputes. Formerly these disputes were settled by physical contact of the disputants, with such simple arguments as the rudimentary logic of the times could supply — the sword, the spear and so forth. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous. Its capital defect is that it requires personal attendance at the point of propulsion.

n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility. His principal qualification is a degree of plausible inveracity next below that of an ambassador.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the keratinous digital pads on the plantar surface of a cat's foot, so designated due to their ovular shape and squishy texture

how sickeningly saccharine

(n.) a boss-man or pooh-bah, usually in sinister secret societies or chess clubs

something like this
(also: link isn't broken)

(n.) a quality of esteem conferred upon individuals by their community, usually to mark bravery and a sense of fair play

cultural constructs such as these probably evolved as a way of ensuring our nobler instincts can occasionally override our deep-seated desire to be self-preserving dicks

n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."
— Calcraft the Hangman.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

adj. Destitute of hair from hereditary or accidental causes—never from.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)