n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) life's way of screwing you out of half your Biblically allotted seventy-to-eighty years

(n.) a kind of snake

which kind? doesn't matter. just some kind. that's all you need to know. move along.

n. The day of good deeds and a reformed life. The beginning of happiness

(also: tomorrow) when we get to it
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a singer (to be precise, both a wailer and a crooner) who enjoyed enormous popularity between the nineteen-fifties and nineteen-seventies, culminating with his going to seed and an ignominious death on the toilet

known for his distinctive voice and sense of style, he has been called the king of rock and roll. although he had a surname (presley), it is rarely necessary to use it, as he is the most famous bearer of the name 'elvis' in history.

these facts, taken into consideration with the hordes of those who seek to impersonate him at las vegas and who insist they have seen him alive and well long after his death, suggest that he is roughly on par with jesus of nazareth in his religious significance

(1879 – 1955) German/ US scientist discovered Theory of Relativity.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: albert einstein quotes)

(also: people)

(n.) your opponent's argument reconstructed and polished with so much care and rigour that they thank you, even if you end up proving them wrong.

(also: good faith acts)
(also: good faith actors)

(also: rationality)
https://www.lesswrong.com/rationality
https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/04/07/yes-we-have-noticed-the-skulls/

(also: strawman)

to desire a situation that didn't happen due, usually due to making a decision that was more logical or convenient or more beneficial (at that point-in-time)
example: i regret not going to community college and then transferring to university because i would've saved thousands of dollars and still would've graduated within four years anyway!

(n.) a probably nonexistent cosmic force that supposedly determines whether chance-based outcomes are positive or negative. the central figure in a strange modern religion usually practiced in casinos and stock exchanges

It's coming any second now

(n.) an attempt to do oneself in through the most pleasant means at hand, including drunkenness, gluttony, and general revelry

(also: debauchery)
(also: hedonism)
(also: New Orleans)

a politician who is both good and bad, which is worse than bad, because it messes up your classification scheme.

The original John Henry, this 1st century folk hero died building inroads as fast as the emperor of Rome.

n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility. His principal qualification is a degree of plausible inveracity next below that of an ambassador.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.”
― E.M. Forster

A place to collect expensive games, only to end up with none that you want to play. (also: water vapor)

(british) a sport originally played in britain in the middle ages. it is played by two opposing teams who stand on opposite ends of a lawn and try to kick a ball into the opposing side's net. conceptually a fairly mind-numbing pastime, most people watch it in hopes of seeing the game degenerate into violence.

"classic" brutish british football is played according to strict association rules developed over centuries, and is thus called soccer (mostly by americans). however, several "unofficial" variations of the sport exist, including those that evolved into rugby, american football (see below) and probably some other, even worse ones.

(adj.) describing one who reduces culture to a matter of determining the latest fads before they can become insufficiently latest

(n.) the grinning killer of the ocean depths, a squeaking sexual predator, a maritime molester, a blowholed bastard, a swirling nest of aquatic evil

considered one of nature's surprisingly intelligent animals