The finished product of which we are the raw material. The contents of the Taj Mahal, the Tombeau Napoleon and the Grantarium. Worms'-meat is usually outlasted by the structure that houses it, but "this too must pass away." Probably the silliest work in which a human being can engage is construction of a tomb for himself. The solemn purpose cannot dignify, but only accentuates by contrast the foreknown futility.

---

Ambitious fool! so mad to be a show!
How profitless the labor you bestow
Upon a dwelling whose magnificence
The tenant neither can admire nor know.

Build deep, build high, build massive as you can,
The wanton grass-roots will defeat the plan
By shouldering asunder all the stones
In what to you would be a moment's span.

Time to the dead so all unreckoned flies
That when your marble is all dust, arise,
If wakened, stretch your limbs and yawn —
You'll think you scarcely can have closed your eyes.

What though of all man's works your tomb alone
Should stand till Time himself be overthrown?
Would it advantage you to dwell therein
Forever as a stain upon a stone?
—Joel Huck
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the academic discipline of measuring time, usually making clocks.

... you thought it was something else. Admit it.

(n.) a demonic chant meant to bring a horrible for whom it is directed

(also: brazil)

a holiday when you try to find a date for the day, or a 'valentine', and if you can't find one, you lose

A mechanical marvel, that is powered by a mighty mainspring, which sends power through, typically, 4 gears and their pinions to a finely tuned balance. All that only to tell you the time of day.
Many watches also possess extra functions (or complications) such as:
-stopwatches (chronographs)
-showing the current date
-the ever beloved automatic winding of the mainspring

Though not as needed in the current times, they still are beautiful constructs, used to show status, or just to look nice.

(also: digital watches)
(also: time)

(i) not a bird nor a plane. Sometimes a man, sometimes a myth.
(ii) the decoder ring on a map. can you believe it, map creators stuck the lock and key together? amateurs. they couldn't even give us a puzzle or riddle to look forward to.

really want it to be etymologically linked to ledger, but alas.

Afflicting us with greater or less frequency. That, however, is not the sense in which the word is used in the phrase "occasional verses," which are verses written for an "occasion," such as an anniversary, a celebration or other event. True, they afflict us a little worse than other sorts of verse, but their name has no reference to irregular recurrence.

n. The kind of political and social reformer who is more concerned to bring others down to his plane than to lift himself to theirs.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.

---

The devil casting a seine of lace,
(With precious stones 'twas weighted)
Drew it into the landing place
And its contents calculated.

All souls of women were in that sack —
A draft miraculous, precious!
But ere he could throw it across his back
They'd all escaped through the meshes.
—Baruch de Loppis

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Mother, in the language of children. Contraction of mommer.

actually camels are not horses! horses are odd-toed ungulates, while camels belong to the order of even-toed ungulates, and are therefore more closely related to cows, pigs, goats, sheep, deer, antelope, giraffes, and even whales

now you know, and knowing is half the saddle.

A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.

---

The rimer quenches his unheeded fires,
The sound surceases and the sense expires.
Then the domestic dog, to east and west,
Expounds the passions burning in his breast.
The rising moon o'er that enchanted land
Pauses to hear and yearns to understand.
—Mowbray Myles
(also: rime)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Government by those who are wise in personal property and good in real estate.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a battle between the greeks and the trojans which probably never happened, but remains one of the most famous battles not in history.

the war allegedly began (sometime in the 12th century BC) over helen of troy, a queen who jilted her greek husband, king menelaus, for a trojan prince named paris. menelaus, incensed, declared war on the trojans and summoned his fellow greeks (including his brother agamemnon, who sacrificed his own daughter to the gods to get them some favorable sailing winds) to lay siege to the shining city of troy.

what follows is a long complicated story involving guys with long greek names, and is most notably summed up in homer's "iliad." the famous conclusion of the war, which actually isn't in said story, involved greeks sneaking themselves into troy inside a big wooden horse and massacring the populace. some of the participants got their own little self-contained sequels; for example, the tale of odysseus' return home in homer's "odyssey," and agamemnon getting iced by his wife in a play by aeschylus

It's coming any second now

Friendship
(also: Friendship)

(noun):maybe

a tiny alpine country nestled between france, germany, and italy. throughout history it has managed to stay wealthy and peaceful by providing other countries with things they need (formerly mercenaries, nowadays tax havens) without otherwise getting involved in international politics in any way whatsoever.

offers nice skiing, decent education, clean, orderly cities and quiet seclusion, but the price for this is that there's virtually no nightlife. you can have swiss banks or french brothels, but, it would appear, not both.

(n.) basically a small pork chop.

French holiday when all prisoners are released in honor of just kidding the prisoners celebrate Bastille Day in prison. God that must be a real slap in the face.