(n.) "lowly, humble," literally "on the ground". an act of submission.

(also: humus)
(also: humble)
(also: humiliation)

The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending and descending.

(n.) someone best left alone in a room with lots of beakers and chalkboards in the hopes that they'll accidentally figure out how to make nuclear weapons. or root beer. whichever.

When people know you are far too clever to give a simple answer but they don't know you are far too lazy to come up with something epic so you land in a neutral answer to confuse the hell out of people.

(1732 – 1799) – Leader of US forces during American Revolution and 1st President of US.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: george washington quotes)
(also: united states of america)

cultural stuff that is more inherently edifying and intellectually stimulating; this means nobody wants to actually pay for it, but fortunately it usually qualifies for government subsidy

A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
"What is your religion, my son?" inquired the Archbishop of Rheims.

"Pardon, monseigneur," replied Rochebriant; "I am ashamed of it."

"Then why do you not become an atheist?"

"Impossible! I should be ashamed of atheism."

"In that case, monsieur, you should join the Protestants."
(also: god)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame's eternal dumping ground. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.

Land of sun, drunken tourists and self flagellating history. Green on the North and yellow on the south.

The literary sloven's word for "virtually."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a ferocious little animal hailing from australia. it may have the power to spin around really fast and make disgusting gurgling/snarling noises. it may not. let's just say it does.

collectively, all the processes required to get from ingredients to the desired finished food or dish. I include combining and arranging, like for a salad or a sandwich with ham and cheese, which require no actual heating or other transformation of the ingredients, but some may not (that is, they may only consider it cooking if you actually CHANGE the ingredient in some way like heat it or perhaps cure it).

(also: list of hobbies)

college debt

a process of converting someone to a specific belief, perspective, or series of behavior processes. These methods vary by culture, and by government. an ancient alien race known as the reapers may or may not be the originators of these complex and multi-faceted techniques of behavior (and thought) modification.

(also: military)
(also: minecraft)

series of letters of decreasing size that you could certainly memorize. Every eye chart is the same sequence, and it's only 66 letters.

A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in dissuading from dissent.

(n.) a place of assembly and worship in wisconsonian religion, in which the sacred duty of milk and cheese production is carried out.

(v.) a british regional term for dithering, babbling, or jabbering

(also: amber heard)

That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets.

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I climbed to the top of a mountain one day
To see the sun setting in glory,
And I thought, as I looked at his vanishing ray,
Of a perfectly splendid story.

'Twas about an old man and the ass he bestrode
Till the strength of the beast was o'ertested;
Then the man would carry him miles on the road
Till Neddy was pretty well rested.

The moon rising solemnly over the crest
Of the hills to the east of my station
Displayed her broad disk to the darkening west
Like a visible new creation.

And I thought of a joke (and I laughed till I cried)
Of an idle young woman who tarried
About a church-door for a look at the bride,
Although 'twas herself that was married.

To poets all Nature is pregnant with grand
Ideas — with thought and emotion.
I pity the dunces who don't understand
The speech of earth, heaven and ocean.
—Stromboli Smith