Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.

(n.) 1) someone who is no longer your wife. this was certainly worth an entry, wasn't it? 2) good-for-nothing shrewish harpy hag

a daily dietary staple of American cuisine. Freedom has been described as tasting like milk and/or honey. Thus America is known as the both the Land of the Free or the Land of Milk and Honey

(n.) a flatbread smeared with crushed tomato and cheeses, topped with the spicier forms of meat and perhaps more exotic toppings. widely enjoyed as a form of food which the eater does not have to make themselves

was invented by italians, probably as a form of atonement for either opera or mussolini

(n.) one of nature's freakier little bastards, widely reviled for its scuttling posture, venom dripping chelicerae, and beady little clusters of eyes, not to mention its devious use of snares to capture unsuspecting prey. comes in distressingly large sizes and one is watching you almost constantly

(1483-1546) Sought to reform the Roman Catholic Church – starting the Protestant Reformation.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: martin luther quotes)

a computer that can be held in the palm. Smartphones are not palmtops because, in addition to making calculations, storing data, running programs, being programmable, and accessing the Internet, they can also make phone calls.

There are a number of theories as to the ultimate cause which brought the universe into existence.

personally, i prefer to believe we were laid by an unimaginably vast chicken as a cosmic egg, and in honor of that, the egg is to be worshiped. will our souls ascend to a grand new state of being in the divine hatching, or will we be burned in the eternally frying pan of damnation?

To take the property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of theft. To effect a change of ownership with the candid concomitance of a brass band. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanished opportunity.
(also: valhalla calling me)
(also: my mother told me)
(also: bad parents)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

one who is having a bad time, forcing you to sympathize

(n.) the act of borrowing something at a very favorable rate to the borrower.

(n.) a hard confection made from molten sugar and butter. resembles the nose of a late-stage syphilis sufferer, or at least that's what popular knowledge would have us believe

(n.) forbidden, not to be confused with elicit

hired guide who does the heavy lifting while you feel proud of your accomplishment and bravery.

mostly russian
(also: russia)

The climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked arboreal ancestors whom it keenly concerned. The setting up of official weather bureaus and their maintenance in mendacity prove that even governments are accessible to suasion by the rude forefathers of the jungle.

---

Once I dipt into the future far as human eye could see,
And I saw the Chief Forecaster, dead as any one can be —
Dead and damned and shut in Hades as a liar from his birth,
With a record of unreason seldom paralleled on earth.
While I looked he reared him solemnly, that incandescent youth,
From the coals that he'd preferred to the advantages of truth.
He cast his eyes about him and above him; then he wrote
On a slab of thin asbestos what I venture here to quote —
For I read it in the rose-light of the everlasting glow:
"Cloudy; variable winds, with local showers; cooler; snow."
—Halcyon Jones

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The immortal parts of dead Greeks and Romans. They were in a state of dull discomfort until the bodies from which they had exhaled were buried and burned; and they seem not to have been particularly happy afterward.
(also: the devils dictionary)

Separateness, as, lands in severalty, i.e., lands held individually, not in joint ownership. Certain tribes of Indians are believed now to be sufficiently civilized to have in severalty the lands that they have hitherto held as tribal organizations, and could not sell to the Whites for waxen beads and potato whisky.

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Lo! the poor Indian whose unsuited mind
Saw death before, hell and the grave behind;
Whom thrifty settlers ne'er besought to stay —
His small belongings their appointed prey;
Whom Dispossession, with alluring wile,
Persuaded elsewhere every little while!
His fire unquenched and his undying worm
By "land in severalty" (charming term!)
Are cooled and killed, respectively, at last,
And he to his new holding anchored fast!

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the political concept that posits that left-wingers I disagree with and right-wingers I disagree with are equally wrong.

“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
(also: wasting time)