n. A sacred rite of such efficacy that he who finds himself in heaven without having undergone it will be unhappy forever. It is performed with water in two ways—by immersion, or plunging, and by aspersion, or sprinkling.
But whether the plan of immersion
Is better than simple aspersion
Let those immersed
And those aspersed
Decide by the Authorized Version,
And by matching their agues tertian.
—G.J.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
The place where the most people in the world talk trash about the military, but also the place where the most people in the world are married to military members, or professional affiliates.
(also: divorce rate)
(also: divorce rate)
(1723-1790) Scottish social philosopher and pioneer of classical economics.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: adam smith quotes)
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: adam smith quotes)
Obstinate in a course that we approve.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with the grin that apes a smile. Being a blind faith, it is inaccessible to the light of disproof — an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.
the ancient chinese art of mystical housekeeping
(n.) a razor-sharp grin attached to a large fish, with a dorsal fin to give fair warning
a crueler, land-based form of the animal prefers to swindle rather than outright eat its prey
a crueler, land-based form of the animal prefers to swindle rather than outright eat its prey
scale used to measure how impressed you should be when I eat a pepper
acting in a humanlike way
A church officer having a superior degree of holiness and a fat preferment. One of Heaven's aristocracy. A gentleman of God.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
A computer built by a race of hyperintelligent pan-dimensional beings to calculate once and for all the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything, to which the answer is 42.
This computer was so large that it was frequently mistaken for a planet - especially by the strange ape-like beings who roamed its surface, totally unaware that they were simply part of a gigantic computer program. And this is very odd, because without that fairly simple and obvious piece of knowledge, nothing that ever happened on the Earth could possibly make the slightest bit of sense.
Sadly however, just before the critical moment of readout, the Earth was unexpectedly demolished by the Vogons to make way - so they claimed - for a new hyperspace bypass, and so all hope of discovering a meaning for life was lost for ever.
This computer was so large that it was frequently mistaken for a planet - especially by the strange ape-like beings who roamed its surface, totally unaware that they were simply part of a gigantic computer program. And this is very odd, because without that fairly simple and obvious piece of knowledge, nothing that ever happened on the Earth could possibly make the slightest bit of sense.
Sadly however, just before the critical moment of readout, the Earth was unexpectedly demolished by the Vogons to make way - so they claimed - for a new hyperspace bypass, and so all hope of discovering a meaning for life was lost for ever.
(n.) a professional who pretends to be someone else in order to tell a story.
once regarded as having the same low social status as a prostitute, though this is not the case today as prostitutes are becoming more and more appreciated.
once regarded as having the same low social status as a prostitute, though this is not the case today as prostitutes are becoming more and more appreciated.
(n.) a frightfully important person in the religion of Catholicism and other religions that are catholic-flavored. apparently known for habit of moving diagonally.
A filthy paste of servitude, tyranny, fetishism, fear, vanity — and ignorance. The greatest offence one can commit against an ass is to call it a man.
(n.) a european who eats spicy food and is despised by portuguese
n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.
The bones of Agamemnon are a show,
And ruined is his royal monument,
but Agamemnon's fame suffers no diminution in consequence. The monument custom has its reductiones ad absurdum in monuments "to the unknown dead" — that is to say, monuments to perpetuate the memory of those who have left no memory.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
The bones of Agamemnon are a show,
And ruined is his royal monument,
but Agamemnon's fame suffers no diminution in consequence. The monument custom has its reductiones ad absurdum in monuments "to the unknown dead" — that is to say, monuments to perpetuate the memory of those who have left no memory.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
sign-up or face the consequences!
“"observers" must obey the call.”
join