mail

nightowl
"Mail" (also know as "post") is a purely human and entirely abstract concept developed in most civilised (and uncivilised) civilisations. It refers to the means by which information is transferred from deliverer to reciever, usually by that of an archaic paper-based medium, or its electronical equivalent.

The concept of mail was briefly considered on the planet Joquin Deux, but was quickly disregarded as little more than a modern fad. The way in which the Joquinths would deliver their mail was via psychic projection; shooting the information across the planet as wavelengths, to be sent directly into the head of the intended recipient. Some complaint ensued, however, as the physical sensation of info-waves penetrating the skull was found to resemble that of a gunshot; the bi-weekly delivery of 'How To Get Ahead in Marvolian Advertising' being frequently mistaken for assassination attempts. Upon receiving your mail on Joquin Deux, always be sure to check for an exit wound.

Ex. "Ah, I see the mail has been delivered. Not, in fact, my soul. That was a close one."

cold

trustycoffeemug
(adj.) the condition of low temperature, pertaining variously to the weather, to food, to a sensation experienced when one touches a physical surface, to the cruel behavior of my heartless ex-wife, and various other referents

catholicism

trustycoffeemug
(n.) Christianity, classic recipe. Distinguished by its use of big elaborately decorated places of worship and tall fancy hats. Originators of the oral sex loophole for preserving virginity.

day

trustycoffeemug
(n.) an elementary unit of time for human beings, consisting of one sunny phase that they spend awake and one dark phase that they spend asleep. known for passing extremely slowly on an individual basis, but practically flying by in the plural

five deadly venoms

trustycoffeemug
a reasonably famous piece of hong kong cinema released in 1978, when the martial arts craze was still going relatively strong. the domestic popularity of the film was such that the central cast was propelled to significant local fame

the plot runs as such: the aged master of the poison clan once had five students, each trained to fight like a different kind of venomous animal: the quick-handed centipede, the flexible snake, the stingy scorpion, the really-good-at-climbing-walls lizard, and the, um, *indestructible* toad. however, this aged master is now on death's doorstoop, and he is haunted by a dream that one or more of these students have used his teachings for evil. he calls on his newest, youngest, sixth student to go to the nearby village and investigate to see which, if any, of the five are guilty, which is complicated by the fact that all the students wore masks and their identities are secret.

in case you're curious (but not curious enough to actually watch the movie): scorpion is evil, centipede is a willing accomplice, snake is an unwilling accomplice, toad is murdered and lizard is a hero who teams up with the main character.

sylph

the devils dictionary
An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted by factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization. Sylphs were allied to gnomes, nymphs and salamanders, which dwelt, respectively, in earth, water and fire, all now insalubrious. Sylphs, like fowls of the air, were male and female, to no purpose, apparently, for if they had progeny they must have nested in inaccessible places, none of the chicks having ever been seen.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

money

trustycoffeemug
(n.) see currency, medium of exchange, storehouse of value, moolah, simoleons, shekels, dinero, cash. something designated as having value equivalent to a certain amount of goods or services; this designated value is considered one of the lies that forms a central pillar of civilization.

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