n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable. Liability to attacks of laughter is one of the characteristics distinguishing man from the animals — these being not only inaccessible to the provocation of his example, but impregnable to the microbes having original jurisdiction in bestowal of the disease. Whether laughter could be imparted to animals by inoculation from the human patient is a question that has not been answered by experimentation. Dr. Meir Witchell holds that the infectious character of laughter is due to the instantaneous fermentation of sputa diffused in a spray. From this peculiarity he names the disorder Convulsio spargens.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

(n.) a gliding lemur-creature hailing from southeast asia, presumably having emigrated there from some sort of other planet inhabited by nightmares

despite the implication of the name, it is not a hybrid of the colubra and the galago

blækˌlaɪt/ (n.):
A type of ultraviolet lamp that makes certain substances fluoresce. Often used to uncover the evidence of a dog's indiscretions around the house, or to highlight the bodily fluids and questionable stains from a wild night of partying.

(also: party)

the best video game ever made
(also: spider)

someone who spends their free time online or playing video games, but believes they spend it reading

v. (from videogames) to take a lot of damage from the enemy team and dole it back out
n. to be the one who does so

(n.) a communicable disease that's very dedicated to its work

(n.) something meant to be sat upon. one of those modern conveniences that are thankfully easy to improvise in times of shortage

scale used to measure how impressed you should be when I eat a pepper

An imaginary state or quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.
The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: "I don't agree with you," and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1042 – 29 July 1099) Influential Pope who ordered the first Crusade to the Holy Land and set up the Papal Court
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: pope urban ii quotes)

No, i'm spartacus

cozumel, an idyllic island between cancun and cuba, offers opportunities for sightseeing, diving, and food which are not to be passed up by the adventurous traveler. however, it is paramount to be wary of the chief threat on the island, extremely pushy stall vendors

to walk down the corredor de artesanos is to run the gauntlet of shell jewelry, textiles, sunglasses, and the odd jar of local preserves. avoiding their gaze will not deter them. politely declining will not dissuade them. they cannot be haggled with, they cannot be reasoned with, they do not feel pity, remorse, or fear. they absolutely will not stop until the cash in your pockets has been converted into kitsch

but if you can get by them there's a pretty good taco place on the beach.

(n.) a portal to other worlds. record your dreams & mine them for riches.

to burgle with bravado

The chief factor in the progress of the human race.
(also: male)
(also: the devils dictionary)

(1766 – 1834) English scholar who raised concern over growing population.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: thomas malthus quotes)

(n.) buffoonery or clowning-around

sucks to be tom, i guess

(n.) a life form whose insurance wouldn't cover the dinged-up genetic code.