(n.) a revolting little filth beetle that is in the running for ultimate life form on the planet

(adj.) randy, baby

the devil's dictionary

(n.) an octopus that has crossed into our universe from the funhouse mirror dimension

Specifically, a cave-dweller of the paleolithic period, after the Tree and before the Flat. A famous community of troglodytes dwelt with David in the Cave of Adullam. The colony consisted of "every one that was in distress, and every one that was in debt, and every one that was discontented" — in brief, all the Socialists of Judah.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(adjective): A term bestowed upon something so captivatingly enchanting that it could charm the socks off a grumpy troll. Like a unicorn on roller skates, it possesses an otherworldly allure that leaves mortals entranced and speechless. Use with caution, as excessive exposure may result in an uncontrollable urge to break into spontaneous song and dance.

A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not a rabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explained that the comestible known as toad-in-a-hole is really not a toad, and that riz-de-veau à la financière is not the smile of a calf prepared after the recipe of a she banker.
(also: humor)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude — a privation appealing with a particular eloquence to all that is sympathetic in human nature. When young the orphan is commonly sent to an asylum, where by careful cultivation of its rudimentary sense of locality it is taught to know its place. It is then instructed in the arts of dependence and servitude and eventually turned loose to prey upon the world as a bootblack or scullery maid.

A mechanical apparatus designed to do the work of a man- from The encyclopedia galactica.

"Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With."- from the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.

(n.) a member of an organization for young boys so that they may engage in outdoorsmanship, civic virtue and charity mugging; also someone who has the corny sense of morality attributed to such a person

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be prepared! that's the boy scout's marching song. be prepared! as thru life you go along
be prepared to hide your liquor pretty well. don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell
be prepared! to hide that pack of cigarettes. don't make book, if you cannot cover bets
keep those reefers hidden where you're sure they won't be found
be careful not to smoke them when the scoutmaster's around
for he only will insist that they be shared- be prepared!

be prepared! that's the boy scout's solemn creed. be prepared! and be clean in word and deed
don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice (unless you get a good percentage of her price)
be prepared! and be careful not to do your good deed, when there's no-one watching you
if you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind
and you come across a girl scout who is similarly inclined
don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared- be prepared!
-tom lehrer

(n.) 1) a word that censors will not allow you to say through a public medium. 2) supposedly a supernatural affliction that brings misfortune, often as punishment for wronging some supernatural entity. possibly what censors think they're protecting you from, though who knows.

(n.) a sensation that follows right after one gets one's hopes up, during which the hopes come crashing down and break into shards of bitter, bitter reality.

A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.

n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn. In Russia and the Orient the monarch has still a considerable influence in public affairs and in the disposition of the human head, ((also: vladimir putin)) but in western Europe political administration is mostly entrusted to his ministers, he being somewhat preoccupied with reflections relating to the status of his own head.

(also: governing people)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A mundane way to pass time. You either love it, hate it or you don't care and do it for the money.

(also: boss)

Noun: A thick heavy weapon, used mostly when you need to bludgeon the hell out of something.

Verb: The process of whacking the shit out of something.

Yes, you can use bludgeons to bludgeon.

(noun):
A rollercoaster ride of emotions and events, packed into seven neatly organized compartments called days. It starts with the innocent optimism of Monday, where dreams of productivity collide with the reality of hitting the snooze button.

(also: weak)

(also: Monday)
(also: Tuesday)
(also: Wednesday)
(also: Thursday)
(also: Friday)
(also: Saturday)
(also: Sunday)

(n.) big swimming sacks of flammable oil that make mooing/whimpering noises and breach for the amusement of tourists

saving them from imminent extinction is a major goal of environmentalists, and hunting them to extinction is a major goal of crusty old men with peg-legs, norwegians and japanese people

(n.) "lowly, humble," literally "on the ground". an act of submission.

(also: humus)
(also: humble)
(also: humiliation)

(n.) a real go-getter of a communicable disease