ZEALA certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth before a sprawl.
When Zeal sought Gratitude for his reward
He went away exclaiming: "O my Lord!"
"What do you want?" the Lord asked, bending down.
"An ointment for my cracked and bleeding crown."
—Jum Coople
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. The kind of political and social reformer who is more concerned to bring others down to his plane than to lift himself to theirs.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(adj.) a good state for the world to be in.
a good state for any real system to be in, really.

(also: rivers)
(also: healing)
(also: health)

(c 563 – 483 BC) Spiritual Teacher and founder of Buddhism.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: buddha quotes)

Acronym for non functional testicles

Basically when someone says he's got NFTs, he is saying he's infertile

(n.) 1) the broad, flat thing that would kill you if you fell from a great height. the thing you are most likely standing on whenever gravity works as intended; 2) the dead remains of coffee

(v.) 1) to confine a young person to their room, as punishment for misbehavior; 2) to confine electric currents to an equalized surface, as punishment for trying to zap people

ground is a lot of things, it transpires.

(adj.) describing someone who hasn't been following the discussion very closely

(n.) a member of an organization for young boys so that they may engage in outdoorsmanship, civic virtue and charity mugging; also someone who has the corny sense of morality attributed to such a person

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be prepared! that's the boy scout's marching song. be prepared! as thru life you go along
be prepared to hide your liquor pretty well. don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell
be prepared! to hide that pack of cigarettes. don't make book, if you cannot cover bets
keep those reefers hidden where you're sure they won't be found
be careful not to smoke them when the scoutmaster's around
for he only will insist that they be shared- be prepared!

be prepared! that's the boy scout's solemn creed. be prepared! and be clean in word and deed
don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice (unless you get a good percentage of her price)
be prepared! and be careful not to do your good deed, when there's no-one watching you
if you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind
and you come across a girl scout who is similarly inclined
don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared- be prepared!
-tom lehrer

A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.

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Juno drank a cup of nectar,
But the draught did not affect her.
Juno drank a cup of rye —
Then she bade herself good-bye.
—J.G.

The worst part of an egg

(also: egg)

(n.) a strong stimulant which promises to transform a sluggish old workhorse into an alert young stallion, at the price of also becoming a bad-tempered and aggressive onager.

their appeal may possible be explained thus: there are very few fat meth users (though there is at least a little overlap in that particular Venn diagram; see trucker)

also called "meth" for those who prefer more streamlined speech

a logical fallacy where I don't follow

The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk.
Asked how he knew that an elephant was going on a journey, the illustrious Jo. Miller cast a reproachful look upon his tormentor, and answered, absently: "When it is ajar," and threw himself from a high promontory into the sea. Thus perished in his pride the most famous humorist of antiquity, leaving to mankind a heritage of woe! No successor worthy of the title has appeared, though Mr. Edward Bok, of The Ladies' Home Journal, is much respected for the purity and sweetness of his personal character.

n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.

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By misdemeanors he essayed to climb
Into the aristocracy of crime.
O, woe was him! — with manner chill and grand
"Captains of industry" refused his hand,
"Kings of finance" denied him recognition
And "railway magnates" jeered his low condition.
He robbed a bank to make himself respected.
They still rebuffed him, for he was detected.
—S.V. Hanipur

(also: crime)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A judicial officer of limited jurisdiction and unbounded incapacity.

(n.) plural = teeth

those little bone nubs in your mouth that help you tear up food

n. A financial doctrinaire in 1896; in 1904 a purveyor of "crow" to the masses.
(also: list of all isms)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Bacon is simply the best part of the pig, in my opinion. It is salt cured, often smoked, and usually from the belly. The fatty belly pieces are just amazing and can be used in so many ways. I like to grill or fry bacon, and use it in sandwiches, bacon & egg and other breakfast combinations, wrapped around grilled scallops, as a topping for grilled oysters, etc. I much prefer it in decent sized slices, not bacon bits, but bacon bits do have their uses, e.g. in salad.

(n.) a quality historically defining the upper class (noblemen); considered to be roughly synonymous with grace, dignity, erudition and composure, in practice it's more shorthand for "friends in high places and doesn't have to work for a living"