n. One of the most important organs of the female system — an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males. The male of our species has a rudimentary lap, imperfectly developed and in no way contributing to the animal's substantial welfare.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the haunting knowledge that one has done something wrong despite their better judgment; generally a deterrent against future wrongdoing until the individual forgets about it

(also: shame)

(n.) one of few surviving aquatic dinosaurs. serves as an inspiration for many middle aged men by compensating for its unimpressive build with a very dapper style of dress

(british) a sport originally played in britain in the middle ages. it is played by two opposing teams who stand on opposite ends of a lawn and try to kick a ball into the opposing side's net. conceptually a fairly mind-numbing pastime, most people watch it in hopes of seeing the game degenerate into violence.

"classic" brutish british football is played according to strict association rules developed over centuries, and is thus called soccer (mostly by americans). however, several "unofficial" variations of the sport exist, including those that evolved into rugby, american football (see below) and probably some other, even worse ones.

italian interjection, conveying surprise. similar to "my goodness!"

ex:
"we ran out of pizza rolls!"
"mamma mia!"

(1766 – 1834) English scholar who raised concern over growing population.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: thomas malthus quotes)

An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of the human mind and has a fair prospect of existing with increasing activity to the end of time.
(also: truthful)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a place for a judge to decide who wins an argument and who has to pay what to whom. 2) in medieval times, a body of officials, retainers, servants, ministers, and assorted other lickspittles who attend on a king or lord

(v.) to attempt strategically to persuade another to have sex with you

A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.
(also: suicidal novelists)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a vehicle powered by pasta. well, in a roundabout sort of way.

Is a breed of human that chooses to identify in society" as people who play video games"

Providence without industry. The thrift of power.
(also: power)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A portmanteau of “goals” and “moth”

It's a seldom known fact that moths, perceiving the glare of light to have darkness behind it, will continually fly towards light sources, paradoxically looking for a place of darkness to rest. Additionally, gothic people, known for their characteristic appreciation of things that are both literally and metaphorically dark, such as death, the color black, etc, have similarly dark goals.

Such was the etymological birth of the word “goth.”

A european country known for an excessive amount of beer consumption and pen thieving president

(also: long pork)

Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mindbogglingly big it is. I mean you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space

If you hold a lungful of air you can survive in the total vacuum of space for about thirty seconds. However, what with space being the mindboggling size it is, the chances of getting picked up by another ship within those thirty seconds are two to the power of two hundred and seventy-six thousand seven hundred and nine to one against.

(also: infinity)

A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame — a little more supportable than the one and a little more intolerable than the other. Sometimes it is conferred by an unfriendly and inconsiderate hand.

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I touched the harp in every key,
But found no heeding ear;
And then Ithuriel touched me
With a revealing spear.

Not all my genius, great as 'tis,
Could urge me out of night.
I felt the faint appulse of his,
And leapt into the light!
—W.J. Candleton
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(eref: #101)

n. A person who goes to the capital of his country to increase his own; one who makes laws and money.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a deceptive statement, but one that is intended to enhance understanding rather than obfuscate it