A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
(also: marriage)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a neutral political stance sitting between the extremes of egalitarian not-quite-free-market bureaucratic republicanism and not-quite-egalitarian free-market bureaucratic republicanism

(n.) a successor to the augurs of ancient rome who would attempt to predict weather trends by reading animal viscera, albeit the augurs were more often accurate

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A search engine that uses a trojan to use my processor illegally. When you search about "the answer of life universe and everything" a calculator appears and display and answer as 42.
Everybody knows that it is copyrighted content of me.
(also: great question of life the universe and everything)
(also: copyrights)
(also: 42)

(also: the creator)

The most tempting touchable in all known existence. It's also a source of great peril, fraught with blood and pain. Only touch the floof at your own risk.

“Jenny tried to rub Mrs. Flufferbutt's cat belly, and was rewarded with many scratches.”

(also: pork belly)

(n.) a device used to scan one's surroundings and convert the scan into a two-dimensional image which can later be shown to your neighbors at boring get-togethers.

may also steal souls.

The best time to do everything you have planned for today.

a mid tier choir in the angel hierarchy. The middle manager of the middle management among angels. Nestled safely above the 3rd Ranked angels, archangels, and principalities so they aren't as well known those but they don't have to do much of the grunt stuff. But they are beneath the 1st ranks so they only get the word of god second hand. If they get a glimpse of god is it usually because he is meeting with a much cooler hotshot archangel to offer them a position or discuss their performance review in the company. It is common knowledge that if you are looking for a promotion from virtues to 1st Rank, you need to be an archangel.

A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe in which so many pious naturalists have seen a conspicuous evidence of design. The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.

part of the former yugoslavia, known mostly for

...

well, this is awkward

v.t. To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

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As sovereigns are anointed by the priesthood,
So pigs to lead the populace are greased good.
—Judibras

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(also: success)

(n.) an organ somewhere in, I'm guessing, the torso, that probably does something important with blood or bile or somesuch

(n.) drops of water which condense within clouds and fall from the sky. this tends to happen only when the weatherman said it would not

...

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To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it,
Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)
At work upon a book, and so read out of it
The qualities that you have first read into it.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(also: guide)

A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors. In order to effect this purpose it is necessary to supply a contrast in the person of one who is called the defendant, the prisoner or the accused. If the contrast is made sufficiently clear this person is made to undergo such an affliction as will give the virtuous gentlemen a comfortable sense of their immunity, added to that of their worth. In our day the accused is usually a human being, or a socialist, but in mediæval times, animals, fishes, reptiles and insects were brought to trial. A beast that had taken human life, or practiced sorcery, was duly arrested, tried and, if condemned, put to death by the public executioner. Insects ravaging grain fields, orchards or vineyards were cited to appeal by counsel before a civil tribunal, and after testimony, argument and condemnation, if they continued in contumaciam the matter was taken to a high ecclesiastical court, where they were solemnly excommunicated and anathematized. In a street of Toledo, some pigs that had wickedly run between the viceroy's legs, upsetting him, were arrested on a warrant, tried and punished. In Naples an ass was condemned to be burned at the stake, but the sentence appears not to have been executed. D'Addosio relates from the court records many trials of pigs, bulls, horses, cocks, dogs, goats, etc., greatly, it is believed, to the betterment of their conduct and morals. In 1451 a suit was brought against the leeches infesting some ponds about Berne, and the Bishop of Lausanne, instructed by the faculty of Heidelberg University, directed that some of "the aquatic worms" be brought before the local magistracy. This was done and the leeches, both present and absent, were ordered to leave the places that they had infested within three days on pain of incurring "the malediction of God." In the voluminous records of this cause célèbre nothing is found to show whether the offenders braved the punishment, or departed forthwith out of that inhospitable jurisdiction.
(also: judge)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Santa Claus for adults