(n.) the study of precious precious blood and its constituent components

precious precious constituent components

The controversial method of an opponent, distinguished from one's own by superior insincerity and fooling. This method is that of the later Sophists, a Grecian sect of philosophers who began by teaching wisdom, prudence, science, art and, in brief, whatever men ought to know, but lost themselves in a maze of quibbles and a fog of words.

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His bad opponent's "facts" he sweeps away,
And drags his sophistry to light of day;
Then swears they're pushed to madness who resort
To falsehood of so desperate a sort.
Not so; like sods upon a dead man's breast,
He lies most lightly who the least is pressed.
—Polydore Smith

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a singular falsehood soon to be joined by other lies

(also: Governing People)

To weigh probabilities in the scales of desire.
(also: desire)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a comic presented to its audience through the power of the web. the web provides a platform on which comics need not be subject to the gimlet eye and cruel iron fist of the newspaper syndicate, thus freeing webcomic creators to fully realize their true creative vision (usually furry porn)

(n.) 1) a trait which is inherited in a non-physical, non-genetic way, such as language. 2) the most insufferable goddam thing you can conceive of if it cloned itself, had sex with the clone and then ate the resulting babies for the +2 insufferability bonus.

(n.) a category of hoofed animal known for its graceful fragility, probably one of those humanity will wipe out someday. Damn humanity.

many incredible antelope variations exist, particularly in africa; for example, the kudu, the oryx, the wildebeest, the diuker, and the dikdik. wait, that can't be right. dikdik? really? huh.

a nation that exists to give Greece extra bonus points in eurovision

Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place.
In Boorioboola-Gha a man is presentable on occasions of ceremony if he have his abdomen painted a bright blue and wear a cow's tail; in New York he may, if it please him, omit the paint, but after sunset he must wear two tails made of the wool of a sheep and dyed black.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the demon cluck-bird is its name, eat its wings to make it tame

these birds, often raised domestically on farms, are known for their gormless stupidity and delicious versatility: their flesh is high in protein, their eggs make a nourishing breakfast, and their necks are easily wrung for convenient sacrifices.

defying the age old philosophical query, there is no particular motivation a chicken might have for crossing a road, as they do not know what roads are.

(n.) a contraption of silicon, glass and plastic that serves as a secondary brain so that people do not have to handle all that tedious thought by themselves

The fundamental element and special glory of popular literature. A thought that snores in words that smoke. The wisdom of a million fools in the diction of a dullard. A fossil sentiment in artificial rock. A moral without the fable. All that is mortal of a departed truth. A demi-tasse of milk-and-morality. The Pope's-nose of a featherless peacock. A jelly-fish withering on the shore of the sea of thought. The cackle surviving the egg. A desiccated epigram.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

just like depression, it keeps you down.

a smol creature dedicated to destroying ur belongings with its epic cuteness and sharp beak

n. A child of two races, ashamed of both.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) professional term for a bruisey kind of boo-boo

enthrallingly off-putting

(n.) a foodstuff consisting of a cylindrical tubule of visceral meat components. Widely appreciated by members of the German diaspora and those who have not seen them actually being made.

(also: food)

In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.