(n.) a feline predator of the americas, of a spotty complexion

to be sure you're looking at a jaguar, as opposed to a leopard, or cheetah, examine the spots closely to see if they resemble big splotches rather than small dots. Go on, get right up near that thing.

(n.) some rich toff's daughter with expensive clothes who exists to be rescued by the hero in approximately seventy percent of all stories featuring them. we always skip over the bit where she's later brutally killed in a peasant rebellion.

a two-week-long suicide threat

n. A tormenting vehicle in which a pirate jolts you through devious ways to the wrong place, where he robs you.

Insensible to the value of our advice.

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"Now lay your bet with mine, nor let
These gamblers take your cash."
"Nay, this child makes no bet." "Great snakes!
How can you be so rash?"
—Bootle P. Gish
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

adj. Less objectionable.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A race of ancient killers of mice and small birds. They merely tolerate humans thanks large to our ancestors viewing that as gods and feeding them. Mainly the feeding. They are ancient foes of the dogs.

thing you should do but don't.

(also: panic)

different question, please

(n.) the frog's wartier, homelier cousin

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde
(also: Oscar Wilde quotes)

It always seems impossible until it's done. Nelson Mandela
(also: Nelson Mandela)

A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility. His principal qualification is a degree of plausible inveracity next below that of an ambassador.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a pitiable state in which one person is friends with another, rather than sexual partners

adj. Destitute of hair from hereditary or accidental causes—never from.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(phrase) The brilliant work of fiction crafted by a cunning student, blending elements of forgetfulness and deception into a tapestry of plausible deniability. A tall tale that seeks to absolve oneself from the burden of unfinished assignments, with a touch of theatrical regret and a sprinkle of innocent confusion. A calculated gambit aimed at evoking sympathy, begging forgiveness, and avoiding the consequences of procrastination. A clever ploy that tests the patience and discernment of teachers, exposing the delicate dance between trust and skepticism in the realm of academia.

Orville (1871 – 1948) – Wilbur (1867 – 1912) – Created and flew the first aeroplane.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: orville and wilbur wright quotes)

The urge to slap, hit, punch, kill, or otherwise physically harm your sibling.
Named after Cain who, in biblical canon, commited the first murder by hitting his brother on the head with a rock.
(also: fratricide)
(also: bible)

(n.) what unpaved ground largely consists of. ain't exactly rocks and it ain't exactly decaying organic matter, but a perverted blend of both