A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

---

The Enemy of Human Souls
Sat grieving at the cost of coals;
For Hell had been annexed of late,
And was a sovereign Southern State.

"It were no more than right," said he,
"That I should get my fuel free.
The duty, neither just nor wise,
Compels me to economize —
Whereby my broilers, every one,
Are execrably underdone.
What would they have? — although I yearn
To do them nicely to a turn,
I can't afford an honest heat.
This tariff makes even devils cheat!
I'm ruined, and my humble trade
All rascals may at will invade:
Beneath my nose the public press
Outdoes me in sulphureousness;
The bar ingeniously applies
To my undoing my own lies;
My medicines the doctors use
(Albeit vainly) to refuse
To me my fair and rightful prey
And keep their own in shape to pay;
The preachers by example teach
What, scorning to perform, I preach;
And statesmen, aping me, all make
More promises than they can break.
Against such competition I
Lift up a disregarded cry.
Since all ignore my just complaint,
By Hokey-Pokey! I'll turn saint!"
Now, the Republicans, who all
Are saints, began at once to bawl
Against his competition; so
There was a devil of a go!
They locked horns with him, tête-à-tête
In acrimonious debate,
Till Democrats, forlorn and lone,
Had hopes of coming by their own.
That evil to avert, in haste
The two belligerents embraced;
But since 'twere wicked to relax
A tittle of the Sacred Tax,
'Twas finally agreed to grant
The bold Insurgent-protestant
A bounty on each soul that fell
Into his ineffectual Hell.
—Edam Smith
(also: donald trump)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A woman that is just a tool for one proccess.

(551 – 479 BC) – Chinese philosopher.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: confucius quotes)

(n.) a large feline predator of south asia that takes a rather odd approach to camouflage but is always dressed in the right colors for halloween parties

some also come in monochrome and tones of gold

(n.) a performer who either highlights the melancholy of life by pretending to be happy, or highlights the joy of life by pretending to be sad and miserable

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
― Thomas A. Edison
(also: Thomas Edison)

(n.) the sincerest form of flattery which mediocrity can pay to greatness. also the insincerest form of crab meat.

(also: crab)

(n.) something untrue that people will nonetheless believe in, and thus the exact reverse of scientific research

Harmless.

A distance where you can recognize details and how the subject you face works.

(n.) person you live with who refuses to admit that they snore and never seems to know what they want for dinner.

the final evolved-form of a boyfriend or girlfriend (or less gender-specific significant other); often distinguishable from the early forms by the additional 25-30 pounds.

(n.) the late-night movie that plays within one's head while one is in the throes of sleep. a typical dream is likely to be some combination of unfocused, deranged, erotic, and terrifying.

a goodly amount of folklore surrounds the act of dreaming, with some believing them to be tinged with prophetic foresight or symbolic inner meaning. this is difficult to reconcile with the sheer weight of dreams of an erotic nature, since we all know that shit just ain't happening.

the everly brothers assure you that, should they want you and your charms in their arms, they may achieve this state of affairs within their dreams

(also: nightmare), for dreams that are scary
(also: wet dream), for dreams that are... wet.

(also: money losing methods)
(eref: #125)

God is a concept by which we measure our(also: humans) pain

(british) a sport originally played in britain in the middle ages. it is played by two opposing teams who stand on opposite ends of a lawn and try to kick a ball into the opposing side's net. conceptually a fairly mind-numbing pastime, most people watch it in hopes of seeing the game degenerate into violence.

"classic" brutish british football is played according to strict association rules developed over centuries, and is thus called soccer (mostly by americans). however, several "unofficial" variations of the sport exist, including those that evolved into rugby, american football (see below) and probably some other, even worse ones.

n. In Theology, a miscreant who does his thinking at home instead of putting it out. He is regarded by the priesthood and clergy with the same aversion that a barber feels for the man who shaves himself.



(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a possibly nonexistent place to which the soul will supposedly immigrate following death. in the west such a place would generally be referred to as heaven if it's a good place and hell if it's a bad one.

A part — in the loose locution of the letterless unworthy. "Part" means a fraction or piece of the whole, but "portion" means a share and implies an allotment. By reverent observance of this distinction great public disaster may be averted.
(also: fat)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(v.) acting out of a belief that being good in one situation then allows you to be a dick in another.

https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/why-good-deeds-can-cause-moral-backsliding.html

(1863 – 1947) Owner of Ford Motor Company. Revolutionised mass-production techniques
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: henry ford quotes)