discord

orikami
(n.) disagreement.
as highlighted by the two previous posts in this section, it is actually disconcerting how the people behind the chat app decided to name it because, and I quote, "the word had something to do with talking, sounded cool, was easily pronounceable, memorable, and had an available domain name."
something to do with talking, you guys. just think of the crazy level of vague thought embedded in that statement (in the context of naming your company & product, a pretty big deal!)

mental health

kivi
(noun): The state of mind where you're not sure if you're one step away from a breakdown, or if everyone else is just really bad at dealing with life.

aging

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the hoary specter of death's pay-by-installment plan

(adj.) describing one who is in the process of mutating into a frailer, wrinklier, balder form of life

luck

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a probably nonexistent cosmic force that supposedly determines whether chance-based outcomes are positive or negative. the central figure in a strange modern religion usually practiced in casinos and stock exchanges

english

trustycoffeemug
also called "galactic basic" or the common tongue of westeros.

language originating in england, where it began as a variant of german before receiving some slapdash latin/french seasoning, resulting in a linguistic abomination. having spread to most of america and australia, it has become one of the more unavoidable languages on the planet.

pregnancy

jason
a sexually transmitted infection in which a parasite grows inside, and after about 3/4 of a year, emerges, causing extreme pain. It is recommended that one goes to the hospital to be attended to when the parasite emerges.

apathy

jason
a state of emotional distress experienced while ashamed of emotion, preferring the aesthetic of stone-hearted rationality and objectivity.

peas

trustycoffeemug
(n.) small green leguminous vegetables. we know a remote farm in lincolnshire, owned by mrs. buckley, where peas grow, every July...

do you really mean that? i thought we were going to have a, a picture of a snowy field on this entry. isn't that the fun of it? we have the snowy field and then we cut to the can of peas. a big dish of peas. we're talking about this buckley broad and she's picking them. right? i don't understand you, what's...

why? why would i link on "in?" that doesn't make any sense. sorry, there's no known way to write an article about peas and segue into the link for the word "in." get me a jury and show me how that's done and i'll go down on you. that's just idiotic, if you don't mind me saying so. "in." impossible. meaningless. you're not thinking. there's too much editing going on around here. i accept edits from one person under protest, two i don't sit still. who the hell are you, anyway? why the hell are you asking me for more links? jesus.

you don't know what i'm up against here. this is a very wearying one. unpleasant to write. unrewarding. i wouldn't edit any living writer the way you're doing this. the right text for this article is the text i'm writing. and now i've spent like twenty times more text on this article than anything else i've ever written. you are such pests. what is it you want? What, in the depths of your ignorance, what is it you want? whatever it is you want, i can't deliver. i just don't see it. no money is worth this.

anyway, here under protest is beef burgers

cheese

cheese man
Pronunciation: Chēz

(n) How do you not know what cheese is? Are you dumb? It's cheese. Literally cheese. You eat it, you make it with milk, and it's often paired with wine. It can be found on pizzas, sandwiches, and even the odd pasta dish if you're feeling frisky.

redemption

the devils dictionary
Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religion, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.

We must awake Man's spirit from its sin,
And take some special measure for redeeming it;
Though hard indeed the task to get it in
Among the angels any way but teaming it,
Or purify it otherwise than steaming it.
I'm awkward at Redemption — a beginner:
My method is to crucify the sinner.
—Golgo Brone
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

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