(n.) one afflicted by madness or frenzy; one who dances like they've never danced before

(n.) the part of time that has not yet happened; the state of being the world shall eventually achieve when we all have jet-packs

(also: past), an antonym

scale used to measure how impressed you should be when I eat a pepper

To take the property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of theft. To effect a change of ownership with the candid concomitance of a brass band. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanished opportunity.
(also: valhalla calling me)
(also: my mother told me)
(also: bad parents)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

there are a number of naturally occurring metallic elements which have historically been noted to be worth significant monetary value, by which standard mining them has been known to be extremely lucrative. historically some of them have been used to mint coins, and today people invest in large lumps of them

among these precious metals are gold (the mac daddy of precious metals, which glows like the sun) and silver (the mac mommy, which glows like the moon), as well as platinum and its orgy buddies ruthenium, rhodium, palladium, osmium, and iridium (these guys just sort of glow like industrial kitchenware).

it is unclear which of these is used to make printer's ink, but it must surely be one of them.

The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk.
Asked how he knew that an elephant was going on a journey, the illustrious Jo. Miller cast a reproachful look upon his tormentor, and answered, absently: "When it is ajar," and threw himself from a high promontory into the sea. Thus perished in his pride the most famous humorist of antiquity, leaving to mankind a heritage of woe! No successor worthy of the title has appeared, though Mr. Edward Bok, of The Ladies' Home Journal, is much respected for the purity and sweetness of his personal character.

Fear of humans in large quantities

A performance given without a preparation.

(n.) an attempt to locate and kill an animal, usually to eat. much of human history has been our attempt to get the upper hand against those damn animals

(v.) to do the thing i just said

Everywhere at once. That the power of omnipresence, or ubiquity, is denied to mortals was known as early as the time of Sir Boyle Roche, who in a speech in Parliament said: "A man cannot be in two places at once unless he is a bird."

(n.) the closest thing to god that humanity has yet created, and very likely to destroy us some time in the future. the internet is like a vast beehive of information of which computers are mere waxy cells.

according to legend, the heart of the internet is a gigantic central server built into a volcano, guarded by armies of orcs in little button-down shirts and maybe al gore or something

A vindictive sociopath, who will manipulate, abuse, discard and then exploit anyone who serves some sort of purpose to further her motives, without having any regrets while doing so.

a type of graph that I haven't seen since I learned about it in grade school, and I look at a lot of graphs these days.

(n.) what water?

(link is not broken, though it looks like it is)

(v.) doing something you shouldn't be doing.. it'll bite you back.

(also: taking more than your share)
takers v. givers v. otherish

(also: luck)

When you are above

(n.) a medieval system in which your landlord also gets to be the government and your boss

(n.) the catch-all term for nationally-syndicated televised news programs; these can be thought of as analogous to cartoons, only viewed by old people (though the cartoons tend to leave the viewer more stable)

There are a number of theories as to the ultimate cause which brought the universe into existence.

personally, i prefer to believe we were laid by an unimaginably vast chicken as a cosmic egg, and in honor of that, the egg is to be worshiped. will our souls ascend to a grand new state of being in the divine hatching, or will we be burned in the eternally frying pan of damnation?

(noun):
Hilariously disastrous stories that make you question humanity's ability to navigate the simplest of tasks, like opening a door or using a toaster without setting the house on fire.

(also: tales from pizza guy)