An animal that will be amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.

(also: tin opener)

Vegan
Ovo Vegetarian
Lacto Vegetarian
Lacto-ovo Vegetarian
Pescatarian
Flexitarian
Beegan
(also: Macrobiotic)

aeschylus (525-465 BC) was a playwright of ancient athens, perhaps best known for his oresteia trilogy ('agamemnon,' 'the libation bearers,' and 'the eumenides'), which is about a family caught in a bloody and endless cycle of revenge, as well as 'seven against thebes,' which is about some motherlover who tries to enjoy retirement but is repeatedly interrupted by his awful sons.

aeschylus was also an initiate into the cult of the eleusinian mysteries, joining cults being all the rage at that time.

aeschylus reportedly died when a hawk tried to smash a turtle open on the playwright's bald head, which the hawk had mistaken for a rock. this bizarre vagary of fate reminds us that one man's tragedy is always another man's comedy.

So called question that made humans leave me alone for 7.5 million years.
The answer is 42 ,because why not.

(also: 42)
(also: life)
(also: the universe)

Insensible to the value of our advice.

---

"Now lay your bet with mine, nor let
These gamblers take your cash."
"Nay, this child makes no bet." "Great snakes!
How can you be so rash?"
—Bootle P. Gish
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) explorers who are less concerned with the wondrous new lands and customs and more concerned with the workload they're escaping

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1770 – 1827) German composer of the classical and romantic period.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: ludwig van beethoven quotes)

(n.) a political leader who uses cheap rhetoric to flatter and incite the badly informed public, exploiting their naïveté. But you folks are too smart to fall for that kind of thing

An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.

(n.)A mostly empty solar oven with a few dozen people scattered around the edges

1) the galaxy in which our puny planet resides. because our earth lies relatively far from the center, we can observe most of this galaxy stretched out across the night sky in a glorious cosmic arch, should one desire a reminder of our utter insignificance

2) a confection consisting of a rectangular bit of whipped mousse and molten sugarcane, coated in a mixture of ground chalk and boiled potato skins with milk chocolate flavoring. british people will insist on calling it a mars bar, with the effect of rendering it far less out of this world.

One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Self imposed torture to gain more knowledge in an area just to fail miserably the very next day on the test

(n.) a cat or something close enough to a cat

also: lion, tiger, leopard, jaguar, cheetah, puma, lynx... clearly someone went overboard on the varieties of cat

(adj.) describing something that is like a cat or like a thing that is close enough to a cat

(n.) a comic presented to its audience through the power of the web. the web provides a platform on which comics need not be subject to the gimlet eye and cruel iron fist of the newspaper syndicate, thus freeing webcomic creators to fully realize their true creative vision (usually furry porn)

In literary affairs, to become the fundamental element in a cone of critics.

A toxic wasteland of self-righteousness, cancel culture, and pseudo-intellectualism.

A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect. One of these egotists was addressed in the lines following, by Agamemnon Melancthon Peters:

---

Dear Frank, that scrap-book where you boast
You keep a record true
Of every kind of peppered roast
That's made of you;

Wherein you paste the printed gibes
That revel round your name,
Thinking the laughter of the scribes
Attests your fame;

Where all the pictures you arrange
That comic pencils trace —
Your funny figure and your strange
Semitic face —

Pray lend it me. Wit I have not,
Nor art, but there I'll list
The daily drubbings you'd have got
Had God a fist.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long. It has been largely superseded by a more complex electrical device worn upon another part of the person; and this is rapidly giving place to an apparatus known as the preachment.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)