(n.) intense physical activity used to improve one's physical condition so that they may justify overeating and laziness to their own conscience

a legendary monster made up by the people of far-off wisconsin in a desperate attempt to convince people to go there and buy merchandise. clear parallels can be detected between the aliens supposedly seen in roswell, new mexico; mothman in parts of west virginia; and leonardo dicaprio in hollywood.

in any case, supposedly the hodag looks a bit like someone added a lot of spikes and fangs to a bull.

(adj.) surpassing the surly bonds of our own mundane experiences in its singular excellence; nonexistent.

(n.) talking good, like what I do

(n.) professional term for the more scrapey kind of boo-boo

The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity. Its habit of incubating its eggs in a ball of ordure may also have commended it to the favor of the priesthood, and may some day assure it an equal reverence among ourselves. True, the American beetle is an inferior beetle, but the American priest is an inferior priest.
(also: SCARABEE)
(also: mice)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Feeling that you can't force.
You can only stalk and hope for the best.

the Merriam-Webster dictionary, https://www.merriam-webster.com/

(n.) a device used to scan one's surroundings and convert the scan into a two-dimensional image which can later be shown to your neighbors at boring get-togethers.

may also steal souls.

To dine.

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Hail, Gastronome, Apostle of Excess,
Well skilled to overeat without distress!
Thy great invention, the unfatal feast,
Shows Man's superiority to Beast.
—John Boop

(n.) someone best left alone in a room with lots of beakers and chalkboards in the hopes that they'll accidentally figure out how to make nuclear weapons. or root beer. whichever.

(n.) basically between the camel and the sheep on the hoofed animal hierarchy. an unabashedly surly animal that can eat basically anything that fits in its mouth

(noun):
A rollercoaster ride of emotions and events, packed into seven neatly organized compartments called days. It starts with the innocent optimism of Monday, where dreams of productivity collide with the reality of hitting the snooze button.

(also: weak)

(also: Monday)
(also: Tuesday)
(also: Wednesday)
(also: Thursday)
(also: Friday)
(also: Saturday)
(also: Sunday)

A weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh. Among the Jews observance of the day was enforced by a Commandment of which this is the Christian version: "Remember the seventh day to make thy neighbor keep it wholly." To the Creator it seemed fit and expedient that the Sabbath should be the last day of the week, but the Early Fathers of the Church held other views. So great is the sanctity of the day that even where the Lord holds a doubtful and precarious jurisdiction over those who go down to (and down into) the sea it is reverently recognized, as is manifest in the following deep-water version of the Fourth Commandment:

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Six days shalt thou labor and do all thou art able,
And on the seventh holystone the deck and scrape the cable.

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Decks are no longer holystoned, but the cable still supplies the captain with opportunity to attest a pious respect for the divine ordinance.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death. Augustine Nicholas relates that a poor peasant who had been accused of sorcery was put to the torture to compel a confession. After enduring a few gentle agonies the suffering simpleton admitted his guilt, but naïvely asked his tormentors if it were not possible to be a sorcerer without knowing it.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

darkness happening in daylight

(also: tragedy)

Florida is a state in us,settled by florida man.

(n.) a near-identical cousin of the chimpanzee, that. Um. greatly enjoys the company of others of its kind.

... giggity.

The downfall of all villains.

(n.) a term used in physics that describes a condition of microstates not being organized into a coherent macrostate, or in other words a condition of disorder

the second thermodynamic law demands that the universe always gravitate towards more entropy; even the act of painstakingly bringing order a system increases entropy on the microscopic level.

The natural conclusion to these facts is that the universe will eventually reach heat death, in which no energy is left for the universe to continue going. here's hoping.