Pestilent bits of metal suspected of destroying civilization and enlightenment, despite their obvious agency in this incomparable dictionary.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: dictionary)

(n.) an viewing device whose leisure delights are used to treat psychological problems such as independent thought, lack of apathy, and concern with the outside world

attila (b. probably circa 406 AD) was a king of the huns and also ruled over a number of tribes in central asia and eastern europe between 434 and 453. he spent a lot of his time in office beating up the roman empire, which heaved a giant collective sigh of relief when he finally passed away on his wedding night. after that the huge kingdom he built basically dissolved into infighting.

sort of a western prototype for genghis khan.

according to a german opera-writer he is also the brother of brunnhilde, valkyrie and apparent queen of iceland, though he doesn't do much in the story besides marry Kriemheld (who wants revenge for the death of her husband siegfried, who was killed because he had a love triangle going with brunnhilde because he'd helped his friend woo her and yadda yadda yadda, there's a magic treasure involved or something)

(Noun) A social media platform that's turned into a breeding ground for narcissism and superficiality. It's a place where people go to brag about their achievements and make their lives look more glamorous than they actually are. From staged photoshoots to over-edited selfies, it's all about presenting a perfect image to the world. While it may seem harmless, Instagram is also notorious for promoting unrealistic beauty standards and perpetuating body image issues. It's also a hotbed for misinformation and fake news, as people share conspiracy theories and spread propaganda without any fact-checking. In short, Instagram is the perfect platform for those who want to live in a self-obsessed bubble and ignore the real issues of the world.

(also: instagram model)

(n.) an online fashion shop platform, or short for depopulation. take your pick.

a government composed of poopyheads

(1809 -– 1882) –Scientist who proposed and popularised theory of evolution.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: charles darwin quotes)

Calepine of Obloquy, Flippancy, & Lampoonery
https://www.wordnik.com/words/calepine

(n.) a board game derived from earlier antecedents in Persia or China, in which players must use lesser pieces to successfully capture the enemy king

considered a good way to teach tactical thinking, presumably for some upcoming war where both sides politely take turns, held entirely on a featureless flat plane

(n.) the frog's wartier, homelier cousin

a Herculean task that requires the strength of a thousand warriors and the willpower of a saint.

someone who spends time doing what they love

Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.
(also: trash)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1561 – 1626) Creator of the scientific method and key figure in Scientific Revolution of the Enlightenment.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: francis bacon quotes)

Skilled in the art and practice of dissimulation.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(also: success)

(n.) what will eat the world whole, if allowed.

(also: arrogance)

(n.) a somewhat roguish canine creature, not quite as rugged as a wolf, roughly analogous to wood-elves in the same manner domestic dogs are analogous to hobbits. usually red in color with splashes of white.

species of fox live on every continent except antarctica. the hunting of foxes in britain is an example of the kind of pointlessly cruel idiocy (see bloodsport) characteristic of the upper class.

A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.

time is an illusion
lunchtime doubly so