Slang for a penis.

I'm Spartacus

(385–303BC) Chinese philosopher one of the principal interpreters of Confucianism.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: mencius quotes)

One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the fan-made art of scanning, translation, and editing of comics from one language to another (usually with Japanese manga; usually without author permission but hopefully taken in good faith).
ostensibly, derived by combining 'scanning and translation', but works just as well with 'scanning and collation'. two portmanteaus with one word, though a pretty clunky one, all in all.

(also: manga)
(also: good faith)

(also: portmanteau)
(also: two birds with one stone)
(also: vegans, don't crucify me)

Action that either going to lead to kissing or an extreme act of violence.

falling into the misconception that you've found your significant other and want to spend the rest of your life with them, aka (also: marriage)

A benighted person who prefers home-made deities and indigenous religious rites.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Vegan
Ovo Vegetarian
Lacto Vegetarian
Lacto-ovo Vegetarian
Pescatarian
Flexitarian
Beegan
(also: Macrobiotic)

according to encyclopedia galactica

institutionalized social system in which men dominate over others.

a subspecies of clown that exhibits muted rather than garish coloration, and remains silent instead of boisterous. derives from something very french and philosophical, or so we're told.

Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mindbogglingly big it is. I mean you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space

If you hold a lungful of air you can survive in the total vacuum of space for about thirty seconds. However, what with space being the mindboggling size it is, the chances of getting picked up by another ship within those thirty seconds are two to the power of two hundred and seventy-six thousand seven hundred and nine to one against.

(also: infinity)

(n.) that big flat thing you're usually perpendicular to

In an English court a man named Home was tried for slander in having accused his neighbor of murder. His exact words were: "Sir Thomas Holt hath taken a cleaver and stricken his cook upon the head, so that one side of the head fell upon one shoulder and the other side upon the other shoulder." The defendant was acquitted by instruction of the court, the learned judges holding that the words did not charge murder, for they did not affirm the death of the cook, that being only an inference.
(also: technically)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Churches for the powerless. Pawnshops for the stingy and weak. Many join to live parasitically off the backs of their card-carrying simpleton colleagues. Some join to become spies. Others, the most sincere, join to end up in jail from where they can observe the mean-spiritedness of all the rest.

(n.) a place that draws lines around itself to make it clear to the rest of the world that they are not a part of it

making the beast with two backs when you've only got the one back

there are two kinds of people in the world, those who just got done masturbating and those who are still doing it right now

n. Dr. Bartlett, of the Bulletin.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

has toe beans
(also: toe beans)

In politics the party that prevents the Government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
The King of Ghargaroo, who had been abroad to study the science of government, appointed one hundred of his fattest subjects as members of a parliament to make laws for the collection of revenue. Forty of these he named the Party of Opposition and had his Prime Minister carefully instruct them in their duty of opposing every royal measure. Nevertheless, the first one that was submitted passed unanimously. Greatly displeased, the King vetoed it, informing the Opposition that if they did that again they would pay for their obstinacy with their heads. The entire forty promptly disemboweled themselves.

"What shall we do now?" the King asked. "Liberal institutions cannot be maintained without a party of Opposition."

"Splendor of the universe," replied the Prime Minister, "it is true these dogs of darkness have no longer their credentials, but all is not lost. Leave the matter to this worm of the dust."

So the Minister had the bodies of his Majesty's Opposition embalmed and stuffed with straw, put back into the seats of power and nailed there. Forty votes were recorded against every bill and the nation prospered. But one day a bill imposing a tax on warts was defeated — the members of the Government party had not been nailed to their seats! This so enraged the King that the Prime Minister was put to death, the parliament was dissolved with a battery of artillery, and government of the people, by the people, for the people perished from Ghargaroo.