graverobbing

trustycoffeemug
one of the less savory human avocations, the act of graverobbing amounts to theft of a corpse or its sundry accoutrements from their proper place of internment.

graverobbing has been an epidemic concern at various points in history. for example, in egypt, even in ancient times (when it was better known as ancient egypt), the elaborate tombs of pharaohs were tempting targets for taphological treasure-hunting transgressors, who would seek to pillage not only the gold ornaments with which pharaohs were buried, but also occasionally the mummies themselves (apparently they were considered to have medicinal purposes. mmm, human jerky)

graverobbing was also a source of concern in victorian england, as the need for fresh corpses for medical research (and lack of willing donors) left doctors' associations with little other recourse but to accept stolen cadavers, maintaining plausible deniability by not asking too many questions.

graverobbing may strike the reader as callous, heartless, and reprehensible, but the open-minded among us should remember, you can't take it with you

lead

the devils dictionary
n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers — particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives. Lead is also of great service as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.

Hail, holy Lead! — of human feuds the great
And universal arbiter; endowed
With penetration to pierce any cloud
Fogging the field of controversial hate,
And with a swift, inevitable, straight,
Searching precision find the unavowed
But vital point. Thy judgment, when allowed
By the chirurgeon, settles the debate.
O useful metal! — were it not for thee
We'd grapple one another's ears alway:
But when we hear thee buzzing like a bee
We, like old Muhlenberg, "care not to stay."
And when the quick have run away like pullets
Jack Satan smelts the dead to make new bullets.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

blind

trustycoffeemug
(adj.) lacking the ability to see things

"Roses are red; violets are blue. Or so I'm told. Spare a dollar or two?"

"I think that I shall never see. My cataracts have blinded me."

halloween

trustycoffeemug
a holiday which appears to originate from Gaelic traditions surrounding the autumn harvest festival

in modern america, a typical halloween consists of children wearing expensive costumes to disguise their identities, and wandering from house to house begging for candy, a custom which was difficult to explain to the soviet union

for adults, the custom consists largely of watching horror-themed movies with various levels of eroticism, and dressing up in costumes with various levels of eroticism.

machination

the devils dictionary
The method employed by one's opponents in baffling one's open and honorable efforts to do the right thing.
So plain the advantages of machination

It constitutes a moral obligation,
And honest wolves who think upon't with loathing
Feel bound to don the sheep's deceptive clothing.
So prospers still the diplomatic art,
And Satan bows, with hand upon his heart.
—R.S.K.

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