my book
(author: douglas adams)
has very little to do with canadian bacon or british bacon
A sovereign's right to do wrong.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
Size. Magnitude being purely relative, nothing is large and nothing small. If everything in the universe were increased in bulk one thousand diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remained unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been. To an understanding familiar with the relativity of magnitude and distance the spaces and masses of the astronomer would be no more impressive than those of the microscopist. For anything we know to the contrary, the visible universe may be a small part of an atom, with its component ions, floating in the life-fluid (luminiferous ether) of some animal. Possibly the wee creatures peopling the corpuscles of our own blood are overcome with the proper emotion when contemplating the unthinkable distance from one of these to another.
(adj.) greyish and somber-looking, as from advanced age
one of those words you've got to be pretty careful using
one of those words you've got to be pretty careful using
The same as scarabaeus.
He fell by his own hand
Beneath the great oak tree.
He'd traveled in a foreign land.
He tried to make her understand
The dance that's called the Saraband,
But he called it Scarabee.
He had called it so through an afternoon,
And she, the light of his harem if so might be,
Had smiled and said naught. O the body was fair to see,
All frosted there in the shine o' the moon —
Dead for a Scarabee
And a recollection that came too late.
O Fate!
They buried him where he lay,
He sleeps awaiting the Day,
In state,
And two Possible Puns, moon-eyed and wan,
Gloom over the grave and then move on.
Dead for a Scarabee!
—Fernando Tapple
(also: scarabaeus)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
He fell by his own hand
Beneath the great oak tree.
He'd traveled in a foreign land.
He tried to make her understand
The dance that's called the Saraband,
But he called it Scarabee.
He had called it so through an afternoon,
And she, the light of his harem if so might be,
Had smiled and said naught. O the body was fair to see,
All frosted there in the shine o' the moon —
Dead for a Scarabee
And a recollection that came too late.
O Fate!
They buried him where he lay,
He sleeps awaiting the Day,
In state,
And two Possible Puns, moon-eyed and wan,
Gloom over the grave and then move on.
Dead for a Scarabee!
—Fernando Tapple
(also: scarabaeus)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basis of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion — thus:
Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man.
Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; therefore —
Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second.
This may be called the syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man.
Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; therefore —
Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second.
This may be called the syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
a person who uses their great wealth to purchase virtuousness, which is contractually obligated to be mentioned titularly in any articles about scandals or atrocities.
time is an illusion
lunchtime doubly so
lunchtime doubly so
The ratio of people tired of someone else's shit. Typically measured by county, city, or state, where applicable.
(also: North Carolina)
(also: North Carolina)
n. A place of deposit in which the feeble and incompetent are left, where they have a good time reading our esteemed contemporaries.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(n.) a particle even smaller than an atom, which apparently read "atoms cannot be subdivided into smaller particles" somewhere and decided "hell with you, I do what I want"
come in six refreshing flavors: up, down, top, bottom, strange, and charm.
come in six refreshing flavors: up, down, top, bottom, strange, and charm.
Cock and Ball torture, a sexual activity involving torture of the male's genitals
This can include: Wax Play, Genital Spanking, Squeezing, Ball Busting, Genital Flogging, Genital Flogging, Urethral Playing, Tickle Torture, Erotic electrostimulation, and Kicking.
This can include: Wax Play, Genital Spanking, Squeezing, Ball Busting, Genital Flogging, Genital Flogging, Urethral Playing, Tickle Torture, Erotic electrostimulation, and Kicking.
Pestilent bits of metal suspected of destroying civilization and enlightenment, despite their obvious agency in this incomparable dictionary.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: dictionary)
(n.) that which follows the dissolution or destruction of government authority; like most philosophical things, we are assured it would be really cool if we did it correctly next time
(n.) a razor-sharp grin attached to a large fish, with a dorsal fin to give fair warning
a crueler, land-based form of the animal prefers to swindle rather than outright eat its prey
a crueler, land-based form of the animal prefers to swindle rather than outright eat its prey
(n.) if a shelf does not hold books or spices, is it a real shelf?
sign-up or face the consequences!
“"observers" must obey the call.”
join