An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science. The modern Theosophist holds, with the Buddhists, that we live an incalculable number of times on this earth, in as many several bodies, because one life is not long enough for our complete spiritual development; that is, a single lifetime does not suffice for us to become as wise and good as we choose to wish to become. To be absolutely wise and good — that is perfection; and the Theosophist is so keen-sighted as to have observed that everything desirous of improvement eventually attains perfection. Less competent observers are disposed to except cats, which seem neither wiser nor better than they were last year. The greatest and fattest of recent Theosophists was the late Madame Blavatsky, who had no cat.
(also: buddha)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
where to begin? egyptian history spans over 5000 years. egypt was ancient long before the single day on which rome was built.
to be as brief as is feasible, the upper and lower portions of egypt first became unified sometime between 3200 and 3000 BC, possibly by somebody named Narmer or Menes, who thus became the founder of the first dynasty of pharaohs. narmer's dynasty dicks around for a bit, leave behind a few prototype tombs in the village of saqqara, and is replaced by a second dynasty. that dynasty does more dicking around and is replaced again. this more or less sets the tone for the rest of egyptian history.
old kingdom egypt (3rd-6th dynasties); the big pointy pyramids you're thinking of come from the fourth dynasty
* an intermediate period (7th-11th dynasties)
middle kingdom egypt (11th-13th dynasties); the book of the dead, that famous egyptian book you've heard of, only shows up in rough draft form around this period
* another intermediate period (13th-17th dynasties)
new kingdom egypt (18th-20th dynasties); tutankhamun, the one pharaoh everyone has heard of, was the second-to-last pharaoh of the 18th dynasty
* sure, why not another intermediate period (21st-25th dynasties), followed by some twilight years (the late period extending to the 31st dynasty), during which egypt got conquered by persians
By this point it's already the 330s BC, and greece (led by alexander the great) took over egypt and left it in control of some doofus named ptolemy. not too long after that, it was conquered again by the romans, by which time we've only just arrived at caesar boinking cleopatra.
to be as brief as is feasible, the upper and lower portions of egypt first became unified sometime between 3200 and 3000 BC, possibly by somebody named Narmer or Menes, who thus became the founder of the first dynasty of pharaohs. narmer's dynasty dicks around for a bit, leave behind a few prototype tombs in the village of saqqara, and is replaced by a second dynasty. that dynasty does more dicking around and is replaced again. this more or less sets the tone for the rest of egyptian history.
old kingdom egypt (3rd-6th dynasties); the big pointy pyramids you're thinking of come from the fourth dynasty
* an intermediate period (7th-11th dynasties)
middle kingdom egypt (11th-13th dynasties); the book of the dead, that famous egyptian book you've heard of, only shows up in rough draft form around this period
* another intermediate period (13th-17th dynasties)
new kingdom egypt (18th-20th dynasties); tutankhamun, the one pharaoh everyone has heard of, was the second-to-last pharaoh of the 18th dynasty
* sure, why not another intermediate period (21st-25th dynasties), followed by some twilight years (the late period extending to the 31st dynasty), during which egypt got conquered by persians
By this point it's already the 330s BC, and greece (led by alexander the great) took over egypt and left it in control of some doofus named ptolemy. not too long after that, it was conquered again by the romans, by which time we've only just arrived at caesar boinking cleopatra.
I'm Spartacus
reputable graverobber.
(also: graverobbing)
(also: graverobbing)
A type fungi create zombies, then control their minds.
(n.) one who can of course quit anytime they want but they're still working out how to want.
(also: drunk)
(also: drunk)
(n.) the mental state in which all people live at all times while doing their best not to let it show
(n.) one who is foolish or contemptible; the word, originally Hebrew, is widely recognized as an inherently funny one to say
(n.) an academic discipline based around finding out what happened back in the past
and, the even more difficult bit, finding out what really happened in the past
and, the even more difficult bit, finding out what really happened in the past
(n.) a place where animals are processed into meat products. excellent place to go if one is a vegetarian on the verge of lapsing
An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
the bit of eastern europe that is least likely to be confused for russia. known today for being that place dracula and crappy cars come from
(n.) a contraption of silicon, glass and plastic that serves as a secondary brain so that people do not have to handle all that tedious thought by themselves
(n.) a big fancy piano sort of thing that you can play. alternatively, a series of meatsacks within your body which are used to play you.
In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
Having received an ultimatum from Austria, the Turkish Ministry met to consider it.
"O servant of the Prophet," said the Sheik of the Imperial Chibouk to the Mamoosh of the Invincible Army, "how many unconquerable soldiers have we in arms?"
"Upholder of the Faith," that dignitary replied after examining his memoranda, "they are in numbers as the leaves of the forest!"
"And how many impenetrable battleships strike terror to the hearts of all Christian swine?" he asked the Imaum of the Ever Victorious Navy.
"Uncle of the Full Moon," was the reply, "deign to know that they are as the waves of the ocean, the sands of the desert and the stars of Heaven!"
For eight hours the broad brow of the Sheik of the Imperial Chibouk was corrugated with evidences of deep thought: he was calculating the chances of war. Then, "Sons of angels," he said, "the die is cast! I shall suggest to the Ulema of the Imperial Ear that he advise inaction. In the name of Allah, the council is adjourned."
(also: war)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
Having received an ultimatum from Austria, the Turkish Ministry met to consider it.
"O servant of the Prophet," said the Sheik of the Imperial Chibouk to the Mamoosh of the Invincible Army, "how many unconquerable soldiers have we in arms?"
"Upholder of the Faith," that dignitary replied after examining his memoranda, "they are in numbers as the leaves of the forest!"
"And how many impenetrable battleships strike terror to the hearts of all Christian swine?" he asked the Imaum of the Ever Victorious Navy.
"Uncle of the Full Moon," was the reply, "deign to know that they are as the waves of the ocean, the sands of the desert and the stars of Heaven!"
For eight hours the broad brow of the Sheik of the Imperial Chibouk was corrugated with evidences of deep thought: he was calculating the chances of war. Then, "Sons of angels," he said, "the die is cast! I shall suggest to the Ulema of the Imperial Ear that he advise inaction. In the name of Allah, the council is adjourned."
(also: war)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
a mainstream religion that predominates throughout the western world. it purports to follow the teachings of jesus christ/jesus of nazareth, a sectarian leader from roman-occupied judea some 2000 years ago, regarded as a divine figure (either god or a relative of His) by christians. jesus taught many things, but since almost nobody can agree on what exactly they were, discussing these things is a bit difficult.
christianity comes in a number of flavors.
--catholicism: more or less original recipe christianity, supposedly founded by jesus' friend peter, who tried to bring his teachings to rome and in doing so was crucified upside down and became known as the first pope. catholics favor big cathedrals and elaborate vestments, and a complicated hierarchy of bishops, priests, deacons, monks and nuns, and thus they're the only denomination that gets to fight demons in the movies. practically any denomination that is not catholic is protestant.
--other episcopal denominations, who like the vestments and complicated hierarchy but don't want to follow the pope, resulting in a number of schisms. includes the egypt-based coptic church which broke away in 42 AD; the greek-based eastern orthodox church, which broke away in 1054; the german-based lutheran church that broke away in 1517; the england-based anglican church which broke away in 1534; and the episcopaleans who are basically anglican but refuse to acknowledge anything from england.
--then there's a bunch of denominations that don't like having elaborately-dressed bishops or cathedrals at all, so they settle mostly for button down shirts and office buildings: see presbyterians, baptists, and the red-headed stepchild of the family tree, the mormons
as might be inferred, it's a whole big thing.
christianity comes in a number of flavors.
--catholicism: more or less original recipe christianity, supposedly founded by jesus' friend peter, who tried to bring his teachings to rome and in doing so was crucified upside down and became known as the first pope. catholics favor big cathedrals and elaborate vestments, and a complicated hierarchy of bishops, priests, deacons, monks and nuns, and thus they're the only denomination that gets to fight demons in the movies. practically any denomination that is not catholic is protestant.
--other episcopal denominations, who like the vestments and complicated hierarchy but don't want to follow the pope, resulting in a number of schisms. includes the egypt-based coptic church which broke away in 42 AD; the greek-based eastern orthodox church, which broke away in 1054; the german-based lutheran church that broke away in 1517; the england-based anglican church which broke away in 1534; and the episcopaleans who are basically anglican but refuse to acknowledge anything from england.
--then there's a bunch of denominations that don't like having elaborately-dressed bishops or cathedrals at all, so they settle mostly for button down shirts and office buildings: see presbyterians, baptists, and the red-headed stepchild of the family tree, the mormons
as might be inferred, it's a whole big thing.
Every German who chugs a beer! Every Zulu with an assegai spear!
Every Chinaman in a junk! Every Mexican in a trunk!
Every Bedouin on a dune! Every Frenchman playing Claire de Lune!
Every Syrian and Kazakhstani! Every Giorgio and his Armani!
Every Spaniard playing second flute! Every Dane, Norwegian and Aleut!
Every single guy who's Aborigine! Every Englishman who's Walter Pidgeon-y
From Hollywood, home of big celebrities- to Vanuatu in the Outer Hebrides!
From New Yorkers eatin' steak tartare! To every friend of Pablo Escobar!
From the Taiwanese and Cuban Petes, to the Russians with their soup of beets
Every Tamil, Tatar, Thai, Tibetan; everybody else that we're forgettin'
Everyone from Niger, Tonga, Bali; the French Sudan which is now called Mali
Everybody up in Katmandu! Every Canadian, cuz we're there too
Every Tajikistani with a yak! Every Bolivian in a sack!
Every caner in Singapore! Everybody who's really sore!
Every Turk in a Teaneck diner, or South African diamond miner
Every gypsy playin' finger cymbals! Everyone who ever shopped at Gimble's
We are there.
Every Chinaman in a junk! Every Mexican in a trunk!
Every Bedouin on a dune! Every Frenchman playing Claire de Lune!
Every Syrian and Kazakhstani! Every Giorgio and his Armani!
Every Spaniard playing second flute! Every Dane, Norwegian and Aleut!
Every single guy who's Aborigine! Every Englishman who's Walter Pidgeon-y
From Hollywood, home of big celebrities- to Vanuatu in the Outer Hebrides!
From New Yorkers eatin' steak tartare! To every friend of Pablo Escobar!
From the Taiwanese and Cuban Petes, to the Russians with their soup of beets
Every Tamil, Tatar, Thai, Tibetan; everybody else that we're forgettin'
Everyone from Niger, Tonga, Bali; the French Sudan which is now called Mali
Everybody up in Katmandu! Every Canadian, cuz we're there too
Every Tajikistani with a yak! Every Bolivian in a sack!
Every caner in Singapore! Everybody who's really sore!
Every Turk in a Teaneck diner, or South African diamond miner
Every gypsy playin' finger cymbals! Everyone who ever shopped at Gimble's
We are there.
In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.
(also: america)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: america)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
sign-up or face the consequences!
“"observers" must obey the call.”
join