(n.) the red-tinted stepchild of precious metals, a mutt born of wanton copper and petulant, abrasive tin.

ever in the shadow of its more accomplished siblings gold and silver, bronze lived an unromantic yet functional existence as a material for weaponcrafting, until it reached high school in the 13th century and was bullied out of existence by steel

(n.) the fat of a pig

(n.) the desired state of many a soft soul out there.
genuine, silent, powerful.
decidedly not a Hollywood strong-female-character (TM) move, and not captured by the quirky-dream-girl (TM) either.
ambient downtempo friendly/ compatible.

another one of france's contributions to society (pastry). france is just on a roll, y'all.

A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) licensed grave robbery, carried out by the more rugged and outdoorsy variety of academic. But not quite as rugged or outdoorsy as you're thinking.

One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
(also: war)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

New York's ugly, unappreciated sister.

A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) professional term for the more scrapey kind of boo-boo

(n.) the academic discipline of measuring time, usually making clocks.

... you thought it was something else. Admit it.

An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) drops of water which condense within clouds and fall from the sky. this tends to happen only when the weatherman said it would not

a type of candy that is either unpalatable or made of sugar

a mission statement about getting rid of the dictionary's rules or, alternatively, a (rap rock/ hip hop/ satire) band
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down_with_Webster

(also: webster)

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
― Helen Keller
(also: happiness)

In the multiplex theism of certain Christian churches, three entirely distinct deities consistent with only one. Subordinate deities of the polytheistic faith, such as devils and angels, are not dowered with the power of combination, and must urge individually their claims to adoration and propitiation. The Trinity is one of the most sublime mysteries of our holy religion. In rejecting it because it is incomprehensible, Unitarians betray their inadequate sense of theological fundamentals. In religion we believe only what we do not understand, except in the instance of an intelligible doctrine that contradicts an incomprehensible one. In that case we believe the former as a part of the latter.
(also: god)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. (Reporterese.) Milk.

(also: milk)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The classical prototype of the modern "small hot bird."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a nation in the north of the Asian continent, primarily known for having such abundant reserves of human suffering that it became their primary export

(n.) source of all life; is wet.