an 1881 novel written by mary shelley. arguably one of the earliest known works of science fiction and the origin point for one of fiction's greatest monsters, nobody has read it, because there's a more popular movie.

the plot concerns an obsessive doctor who believes he can synthesize his own life form, but upon doing so, he fails to raise it properly, leading to a very bad wedding, an expedition to the north pole, and many ponderous philosophical arguments.

differences from the source material: in the book, the monster was motivated by revenge outright, and was pretty chatty. since the 1931 movie, people have thought of frankenstein's monster as a voiceless, child-brained hulk who doesn't fully realize the consequences of his own actions.

to be absolutely clear, the monster is not named frankenstein. the monster is never given a name. but we can call him dave, if you like. in any case he is widely acknowledged as one of the all-time groovy ghoulies, like dracula and the wolf man

A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) one who feels greater affinity for the clothes not customarily prescribed for those of their gender. famous transvestites include all lumberjacks and j. edgar hoover

(n.) basically between the camel and the sheep on the hoofed animal hierarchy. an unabashedly surly animal that can eat basically anything that fits in its mouth

(noun):
A lovably mischievous creature that serves as the loyal sidekick to an evil mastermind, often seen wearing adorable overalls and speaking in their own unique language that sounds like a mix of gibberish and silliness.


(also: serving as a loyal sidekick)
(also: wearing adorable overalls)
(also: speaking in unique language)
(also: sounding like gibberish and silliness)
(also: being mischievous and lovable)
(also: accompanying an evil mastermind)

I wish I could explain this, but there's just.. something I'm missing. Something that, if I had it, would allow me to more easily explain this to people, regardless of the difficulty of understanding the concept itself. Some skill, some quality describing either myself or the ease with which I explained things to others.

If only I knew what that was called, so I could look it up, come to understand it, and hone it within myself, until I had so much.. so much SOMETHING that I could effectively explain what it means to have perspicuity.

But alas. I don't have enough of that word, that concept that would allow as much

(n.) people within an organization commonly giving disproportionate weight to trivial issues.

(also: peter's principle)

(adj.) sinister; causing unease.

one may think of a house that has these qualities as a spookhouse. but we don't advise this.

“Slutty,” but spelled wrong.

noun: to yearn for a result that may or may not benefit an individual's situation due to overlooking consequences and only considering the rewards

(n.) bribery artist

quotation marks used to denote that you totally did not just use that word.

A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries, but it appears to have been imperfectly expounded. An example of this faulty exposition is found in the only extant sermon of the pious Bishop Rowley, a characteristic passage from which is here given:
"Now righteousness consisteth not merely in a holy state of mind, nor yet in performance of religious rites and obedience to the letter of the law. It is not enough that one be pious and just: one must see to it that others also are in the same state; and to this end compulsion is a proper means. Forasmuch as my injustice may work ill to another, so by his injustice may evil be wrought upon still another, the which it is as manifestly my duty to estop as to forestall mine own tort. Wherefore if I would be righteous I am bound to restrain my neighbor, by force if needful, in all those injurious enterprises from which, through a better disposition and by the help of Heaven, I do myself refrain."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A way of cultural information being shared

A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ's tenderness toward widows was one of the most marked features of his character.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the organ contained within the head of a life form; all that separates a thinking, living being and a pile of rotting meat

A piece of material suitable for consumption to gain energy within one's body. Unfortunately it will not help with crippling sadness, but some may treat it as though it does.
(also: crippling sadness)
(also: common misunderstandings)

The common battle cry of the American Hillbilly. It is typically proceeded by a challenge or a wager. Then a display of superiority followed by the death of the challenged. Though it is usually an epic display, the countless lives lost has some officials thinking of banning it.

where to begin? egyptian history spans over 5000 years. egypt was ancient long before the single day on which rome was built.

to be as brief as is feasible, the upper and lower portions of egypt first became unified sometime between 3200 and 3000 BC, possibly by somebody named Narmer or Menes, who thus became the founder of the first dynasty of pharaohs. narmer's dynasty dicks around for a bit, leave behind a few prototype tombs in the village of saqqara, and is replaced by a second dynasty. that dynasty does more dicking around and is replaced again. this more or less sets the tone for the rest of egyptian history.

old kingdom egypt (3rd-6th dynasties); the big pointy pyramids you're thinking of come from the fourth dynasty
* an intermediate period (7th-11th dynasties)
middle kingdom egypt (11th-13th dynasties); the book of the dead, that famous egyptian book you've heard of, only shows up in rough draft form around this period
* another intermediate period (13th-17th dynasties)
new kingdom egypt (18th-20th dynasties); tutankhamun, the one pharaoh everyone has heard of, was the second-to-last pharaoh of the 18th dynasty
* sure, why not another intermediate period (21st-25th dynasties), followed by some twilight years (the late period extending to the 31st dynasty), during which egypt got conquered by persians


By this point it's already the 330s BC, and greece (led by alexander the great) took over egypt and left it in control of some doofus named ptolemy. not too long after that, it was conquered again by the romans, by which time we've only just arrived at caesar boinking cleopatra.

(1818-1883): an unruly german whose writings on political economy and good labor relations formed the basis for our modern understanding of communism.

debates will be ongoing on whether he would have approved of any of his fans from russia