Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.

n. An apparatus with which we think that we think. That which distinguishes the man who is content to be something from the man who wishes to do something. A man of great wealth, or one who has been pitchforked into high station, has commonly such a headful of brain that his neighbors cannot keep their hats on. In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, brain is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity. The student of history who has not been taught to expect the unexpected may justly boast himself inaccessible to the light. "In time of peace prepare for war" has a deeper meaning than is commonly discerned; it means, not merely that all things earthly have an end — that change is the one immutable and eternal law — but that the soil of peace is thickly sown with the seeds of war and singularly suited to their germination and growth. It was when Kubla Khan had decreed his "stately pleasure dome" — when, that is to say, there were peace and fat feasting in Xanadu — that he

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heard from afar
Ancestral voices prophesying war.

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One of the greatest of poets, Coleridge was one of the wisest of men, and it was not for nothing that he read us this parable. Let us have a little less of "hands across the sea," and a little more of that elemental distrust that is the security of nations. War loves to come like a thief in the night; professions of eternal amity provide the night.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) one who is idiotic; one whose lack of mental acuity is a source of perennial frustration; those who invariably surround the consternated genius in the room

a person who uses their great wealth to purchase virtuousness, which is contractually obligated to be mentioned titularly in any articles about scandals or atrocities.

A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
Alas, things ain't what we should see
If Eve had let that apple be;
And many a feller which had ought
To set with monarchses of thought,
Or play some rosy little game
With battle-chaps on fields of fame,
Is downed by his unlucky star,
And hollers: "Peanuts! — here you are!"
—"The Sturdy Beggar"
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

an intern, but less boring

n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he "lost his election"; and of that eminent man, the poet Gilder, that he has "lost his mind." It is in the former and more legitimate sense, that the word is used in the famous epitaph:

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Here Huntington's ashes long have lain
Whose loss is our own eternal gain,
For while he exercised all his powers
Whatever he gained, the loss was ours.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) place where sick or injured people are taken, so that the bills and administrative errors can test the full extent of their will to live

Specifically, a cave-dweller of the paleolithic period, after the Tree and before the Flat. A famous community of troglodytes dwelt with David in the Cave of Adullam. The colony consisted of "every one that was in distress, and every one that was in debt, and every one that was discontented" — in brief, all the Socialists of Judah.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a real go-getter of a communicable disease

A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

(n.) a horse from the wrong side of the tracks, which grew up meaner and could not afford scoliosis treatment

Neohuman (n.): 'New Human'. Typically a general name for superhumans, such as a metahuman or supernatural.

(phrase) The optimistic assessment delivered by educators, serving as a beacon of hope amidst the vast landscape of academic possibilities.

(also: student's parents)

(1509 – 27 May 1564) Christian theologian who developed a strict brand of Protestant Christianity which stressed the doctrine of predestination.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: john calvin quotes)

To proceed sinuously and aimlessly. The word is the ancient name of a river about one hundred and fifty miles south of Troy, which turned and twisted in the effort to get out of hearing when the Greeks and Trojans boasted of their prowess.
(also: the devils dictionary)

A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.
An ancient philosopher, expounding his conviction that life is no better than death, was asked by a disciple why, then, he did not die. "Because," he replied, "death is no better than life." It is longer.
(also: feedom)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Just about the most massively useful thing any interstellar Hitchhiker can carry.
(also: the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy)

(also: pantaloons)