n. A mealtime inversion that delights the palate and confuses the digestive system.
(also: Breakfast)
explosive i guess
(also: creation of the universe)
(also: creation of the universe)
n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(1809 - 1882) –Scientist who proposed and popularised theory of evolution.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: charles darwin quotes)
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: charles darwin quotes)
(noun):
Hilariously disastrous stories that make you question humanity's ability to navigate the simplest of tasks, like opening a door or using a toaster without setting the house on fire.
(also: tales from pizza guy)
Hilariously disastrous stories that make you question humanity's ability to navigate the simplest of tasks, like opening a door or using a toaster without setting the house on fire.
(also: tales from pizza guy)
(1395 – 1468) – Inventor of the printing press.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: johann gutenberg quotes)
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: johann gutenberg quotes)
(n.) a culinary concoction of flour and shortening heated until appropriately flaky, pillowy, or, doughy, as tastes warrant. one of france's contributions to society
(1542-1604) third ruler of the mughal empire, which was based in india but whose ruling class was persian. akbar was a fascinating study in contradictions; although illiterate (possibly dyslexic), he was a patron of intellectuals and philosophers. although an accomplished military leader in a land of sectarian conflict, he promoted peace and understanding between his muslim and hindu subjects
under his rule, the mughal empire grew to encompass much of india, and reached a golden age characterized by unimaginable heights of prosperity. then everything just sort of fell apart after he died. ah well.
no, he was not a space squid, and he did not help destroy the death star
under his rule, the mughal empire grew to encompass much of india, and reached a golden age characterized by unimaginable heights of prosperity. then everything just sort of fell apart after he died. ah well.
no, he was not a space squid, and he did not help destroy the death star
(n.) someone trained to operate aboard a spacecraft, braving such dangers as the pitiless vacuum of space, the burning agony of unshielded radiation, the wasting-away of their bone and muscle mass, and the existential agony that accompanies total realization of one's insignificance in the grand scheme of things, all in the hopes of exploring totally uninhabitable places with generally little in the way of mineral wealth.
astronauts may be said to blur the line between courageous heroism and flagrant stupidity
astronauts may be said to blur the line between courageous heroism and flagrant stupidity
Earth 1.0
The finished product of which we are the raw material. The contents of the Taj Mahal, the Tombeau Napoleon and the Grantarium. Worms'-meat is usually outlasted by the structure that houses it, but "this too must pass away." Probably the silliest work in which a human being can engage is construction of a tomb for himself. The solemn purpose cannot dignify, but only accentuates by contrast the foreknown futility.
Ambitious fool! so mad to be a show!
How profitless the labor you bestow
Upon a dwelling whose magnificence
The tenant neither can admire nor know.
Build deep, build high, build massive as you can,
The wanton grass-roots will defeat the plan
By shouldering asunder all the stones
In what to you would be a moment's span.
Time to the dead so all unreckoned flies
That when your marble is all dust, arise,
If wakened, stretch your limbs and yawn —
You'll think you scarcely can have closed your eyes.
What though of all man's works your tomb alone
Should stand till Time himself be overthrown?
Would it advantage you to dwell therein
Forever as a stain upon a stone?
—Joel Huck
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
Ambitious fool! so mad to be a show!
How profitless the labor you bestow
Upon a dwelling whose magnificence
The tenant neither can admire nor know.
Build deep, build high, build massive as you can,
The wanton grass-roots will defeat the plan
By shouldering asunder all the stones
In what to you would be a moment's span.
Time to the dead so all unreckoned flies
That when your marble is all dust, arise,
If wakened, stretch your limbs and yawn —
You'll think you scarcely can have closed your eyes.
What though of all man's works your tomb alone
Should stand till Time himself be overthrown?
Would it advantage you to dwell therein
Forever as a stain upon a stone?
—Joel Huck
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(n.) a complicated coat hanger to drape your skin over. made from a white hard stuff made from hardened milk or something
Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles and the like. The first of these rights was once universally believed to be derived directly from the will of God; and this is still sometimes affirmed in partibus infidelium outside the enlightened realms of Democracy; as in the well-known lines of Sir Abednego Bink, following:
By what right, then, do royal rulers rule?
Whose is the sanction of their state and pow'r?
He surely were as stubborn as a mule
Who, God unwilling, could maintain an hour
His uninvited session on the throne, or air
His pride securely in the Presidential chair.
Whatever is is so by Right Divine;
Whate'er occurs, God wills it so. Good land!
It were a wondrous thing if His design
A fool could baffle or a rogue withstand!
If so, then God, I say (intending no offence)
Is guilty of contributory negligence.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
By what right, then, do royal rulers rule?
Whose is the sanction of their state and pow'r?
He surely were as stubborn as a mule
Who, God unwilling, could maintain an hour
His uninvited session on the throne, or air
His pride securely in the Presidential chair.
Whatever is is so by Right Divine;
Whate'er occurs, God wills it so. Good land!
It were a wondrous thing if His design
A fool could baffle or a rogue withstand!
If so, then God, I say (intending no offence)
Is guilty of contributory negligence.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(n.) a mammal too stuck-up to slum it on the ground with the rest of us, the nocturnal bat takes to the air on wings made from the leathern webbing betwixt their long creepy fingers, using its unearthly shrieking to track prey
contrary to popular legend, bats do not drink the blood of human beings (or at least do not leave witnesses)
contrary to popular legend, bats do not drink the blood of human beings (or at least do not leave witnesses)
a type of candy that is either unpalatable or made of sugar
(n.) bravery; ability to act in the face of fear, pain or grief
among other things this quality is believed to make a king of a slave, induce the flag on the mast to wave, and put the 'ape' in 'apricot'
among other things this quality is believed to make a king of a slave, induce the flag on the mast to wave, and put the 'ape' in 'apricot'
sign-up or face the consequences!
“"observers" must obey the call.”
join