(n.) noodles prepared by italians, as opposed to noodles prepared by east asian people, which are referred to as "takeout"

grown-up word for umbrella step

“The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger--but recognize the opportunity.”
― John F. Kennedy
(also: John F. Kennedy)

(n.) some rich toff's daughter with expensive clothes who exists to be rescued by the hero in approximately seventy percent of all stories featuring them. we always skip over the bit where she's later brutally killed in a peasant rebellion.

n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son of a cavern in Mount Ætna, and I have myself seen a man come out of a wine cellar.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a neutral political stance sitting between the extremes of egalitarian not-quite-free-market bureaucratic republicanism and not-quite-egalitarian free-market bureaucratic republicanism

the game is: guess the subject matter before watching the eponymous video.


(also: beef)

(also: eponymous)

v.t.
1. To correct an erring friend or admonish a needy one. Of women the word abandoned is used in the sense of indiscreet.
2. To confer the advantage of being rid of you. To recant

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Thank heaven, I have abandoned the follies of youth for those of age.
—Chauncey Depew


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Every German who chugs a beer! Every Zulu with an assegai spear!
Every Chinaman in a junk! Every Mexican in a trunk!
Every Bedouin on a dune! Every Frenchman playing Claire de Lune!
Every Syrian and Kazakhstani! Every Giorgio and his Armani!
Every Spaniard playing second flute! Every Dane, Norwegian and Aleut!
Every single guy who's Aborigine! Every Englishman who's Walter Pidgeon-y
From Hollywood, home of big celebrities- to Vanuatu in the Outer Hebrides!
From New Yorkers eatin' steak tartare! To every friend of Pablo Escobar!
From the Taiwanese and Cuban Petes, to the Russians with their soup of beets
Every Tamil, Tatar, Thai, Tibetan; everybody else that we're forgettin'
Everyone from Niger, Tonga, Bali; the French Sudan which is now called Mali
Everybody up in Katmandu! Every Canadian, cuz we're there too
Every Tajikistani with a yak! Every Bolivian in a sack!
Every caner in Singapore! Everybody who's really sore!
Every Turk in a Teaneck diner, or South African diamond miner
Every gypsy playin' finger cymbals! Everyone who ever shopped at Gimble's
We are there.

(1878 – 1953) Absolute ruler of the Soviet Union from 1924 to his death. Led the Soviet Union in WWII.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: joseph stalin quotes)

(noun) A colorful candy that promises to "taste the rainbow," but really just tastes like sugar-coated disappointment.

(noun) /fæst fuːd/

A culinary masterpiece crafted with precision and lightning speed, designed to nourish your hunger while simultaneously shortening your lifespan. It's like a magic trick: one moment it's in your hand, the next moment it's clogging your arteries. Bon appétit, and good luck with your future heartburn!

(adj.) suffering, as a result of alcohol, from reduced good judgment and impaired sense of balance, but with the positive effect of total immunity from criticism and greater insight into hidden or nonexistent beauty

also (n.) one who frequently and uncontrollably becomes drunk

Inaccessible to the truth as it is manifest in the splendor and stress of our advocacy.
The popular type and exponent of obstinacy is the mule, a most intelligent animal.

To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
(also: the universe)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

his telephone number is 001-39-6-6982
(also: god)

adj. Conforming a local and mutable standard of right. Having the quality of general expediency.

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It is sayd there be a raunge of mountaynes in the Easte, on one syde of the which certayn conducts are immorall, yet on the other syde they are holden in good esteeme; wherebye the mountayneer is much conveenyenced, for it is given to him to goe downe eyther way and act as it shall suite his moode, withouten offence.
—Gooke's Meditations

(also: moral backsliding)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1736 – 1819) Scottish engineer. Watt improved the Newcome steam engine creating an efficient steam engine
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: james watt quotes)

(double U) has, of all the letters in our alphabet, the only cumbrous name, the names of the others being monosyllabic. This advantage of the Roman alphabet over the Grecian is the more valued after audibly spelling out some simple Greek word, like epixoriambikos. Still, it is now thought by the learned that other agencies than the difference of the two alphabets may have been concerned in the decline of "the glory that was Greece" and the rise of "the grandeur that was Rome." There can be no doubt, however, that by simplifying the name of W (calling it "wow," for example) our civilization could be, if not promoted, at least better endured.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) place where sick or injured people are taken, so that the bills and administrative errors can test the full extent of their will to live