The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.

---

Moses Mendelssohn having fallen ill sent for a Christian physician, who at once diagnosed the philosopher's disorder as trichinosis, but tactfully gave it another name. "You need an immediate change of diet," he said; "you must eat six ounces of pork every other day."

"Pork?" shrieked the patient — "pork? Nothing shall induce me to touch it!"

"Do you mean that?" the doctor gravely asked.

"I swear it!"

"Good! — then I will undertake to cure you."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A tall building on the seashore in which the government maintains a lamp and the friend of a politician.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1460s –1524) Portuguese explorer, first European to reach India and establish a route for imperialism.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: vasco da gama quotes)

here's my hot take*: what's moral isn't always legal, what's legal isn't always moral.

legality and morality have a venn-diagram relationship, you know. they might mostly overlap, but dear god, please don't confuse one for the other. society's good at a lot of things, but accounting for nuanced situations through legal code.. is, uh, not one of them.
be your own pillar of strength and morality. be accountable to yourself. you know when you are crossing those lines, and you know it will backfire -- not necessarily because someone comes to punish you directly, but because what comes up must go down. and you need to know that when you transgress, you can make amends and redeem yourself. not because some legal system tells you 'pay $10000 or a year in prison or whatever, and it will make the situation better', but because you have learned and you have changed.

* /s, it's not even that hot.. but people act like what's legal is moral & vice versa with such conviction sometimes.

(also: normal vs moral)

The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.
(also: humans)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

To convey the impacts of climate change, tell your students that if Earth were a pizza, we've been adding way too many "greenhouse toppings" that are making it cook faster than expected, leaving us with a crispy planet that's harder to digest

(n.) surprisingly, also a nice fellow! just American.



(also: neighbour)

(1712-1778) – French philosopher, author of Social Contract
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: jean-jacques rousseau quotes)

(n.) an insectivorous animal no doubt brimming with resentment about the aardvark.

(also: aardvark)

(n.) a straw human acting as a piece of autumnul decor, as well as to frighten corn thieves away from corn. it operates on the same principle as the panopticon; the corn thief cannot be sure if the scarecrow is a real human capable of reprisal or simply a sack of hay. the uncertainty eats them alive from the inside until they destroy themselves.

compare gargoyles, similarly created as symbols of fear to ward off evil

(n.) leaves, grasses, needles (or the like) + hot water. and idc what the tea snobs say.


https://www.teasource.com/pages/types-of-tea
https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Lemongrass-Tea

(also: bubble tea)


(n.) leaked drama, generally about e-celebs.
there are whole youtube channels dedicated to 'spilling the tea' on popular YouTubers.
(also: spill the tea)

(noun): A game of numbers in which the winner is the one who accumulates the most imaginary points, while convincing others that these points actually have value.

(also: business world)

n.
1. A certain person who is much in society, but whom one does not meet. A bad one.
2. The Adversary of Souls, considered under one of his many charming aspects.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Acting upon the Cain instinct.
(also: Cain instinct)

n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.

---

'Twas a pair of boots that the lady bought,
And the salesman laced them tight
To a very remarkable height —
Higher, indeed, than I think he ought —
Higher than can be right.
For the Bible declares — but never mind:
It is hardly fit
To censure freely and fault to find
With others for sins that I'm not inclined
Myself to commit.
Each has his weakness, and though my own
Is freedom from every sin,
It still were unfair to pitch in,
Discharging the first censorious stone.
Besides, the truth compels me to say,
The boots in question were made that way.
As he drew the lace she made a grimace,
And blushingly said to him:
"This boot, I'm sure, is too high to endure,
It hurts my — hurts my — limb."
The salesman smiled in a manner mild,
Like an artless, undesigning child;
Then, checking himself, to his face he gave
A look as sorrowful as the grave,
Though he didn't care two figs
For her pains and throes,
As he stroked her toes,
Remarking with speech and manner just
Befitting his calling: "Madam, I trust
That it doesn't hurt your twigs."
—B. Percival Dike

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a european who eats spicy food and is despised by portuguese

is where most people are afraid to be there when it's dark

Having a grandeur or splendor superior to that to which the spectator is accustomed, as the ears of an ass, to a rabbit, or the glory of a glowworm, to a maggot.