(n.) a lifestyle of comfort and enjoyment, justifiable only through abstruse philosophical ramblings

(also: bacchanalia)
(also: food)
(also: drugs)
(also: sex)
(also: alcohol)

A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
A pessimist applied to God for relief.

"Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness," said God. "No," replied the petitioner, "I wish you to create something that would justify them."

"The world is all created," said God, "but you have overlooked something — the mortality of the optimist."

(also: Alabama)
(also: Alaska)
(also: Arizona)
(also: Arkansas)
(also: California)
(also: Colorado)
(also: Connecticut)
(also: Delaware)
(also: Florida)
(also: Georgia)
(also: Hawaii)
(also: Idaho)
(also: Illinois)
(also: Indiana)
(also: Iowa)
(also: Kansas)
(also: Kentucky)
(also: Louisiana)
(also: Maine)
(also: Maryland)
(also: Massachusetts)
(also: Michigan)
(also: Minnesota)
(also: Mississippi)
(also: Missouri)
(also: Montana)
(also: Nebraska)
(also: Nevada)
(also: New Hampshire)
(also: New Jersey)
(also: New Mexico)
(also: New York)
(also: North Carolina)
(also: North Dakota)
(also: Ohio)
(also: Oklahoma)
(also: Oregon)
(also: Pennsylvania)
(also: Rhode Island)
(also: South Carolina)
(also: South Dakota)
(also: Tennessee)
(also: Texas)
(also: Utah)
(also: Vermont)
(also: Virginia)
(also: Washington)
(also: West Virginia)
(also: Wisconsin)
(also: Wyoming)

“He that can have patience can have what he will.”
― Benjamin Franklin
(also: Benjamin Franklin)

A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
Alas, things ain't what we should see
If Eve had let that apple be;
And many a feller which had ought
To set with monarchses of thought,
Or play some rosy little game
With battle-chaps on fields of fame,
Is downed by his unlucky star,
And hollers: "Peanuts! — here you are!"
—"The Sturdy Beggar"
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect for more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you.”
― Bob Marley
(also: Bob Marley)

A vindictive sociopath, who will manipulate, abuse, discard and then exploit anyone who serves some sort of purpose to further her motives, without having any regrets while doing so.

Common; customary. In the Southwestern States of the Union this word is pronounced ornery and means ugly — a striking testimony to the prevalence of the disagreeable.

Disable comments in a video about freedom of speech.

The state and title of a king. Regarded with a just contempt by the Most Eminent Grand Masters, Grand Chancellors, Great Incohonees and Imperial Potentates of the ancient and honorable orders of republican America.
(also: America)
(also: the devils dictionary)

Consciousness of a brief immunity from something disagreeable.

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Stunning events cast their shadows before.
—Scampbell
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

To speak quietly enough so as not to be heard, yet loudly enough so as to make the people on the adjacent table aware they are being complained about.

Not to be confused with "shoomble", which refers to black markets exclusively trading in niche items.

Ex. "I swear they stole our wine menus," she shumbled from Table 7. "I'm going to steal them back when they're not looking."
"I swear they stole our wine menus," he shumbled from Table 5. "That's why I stole them back when they weren't looking."
"Fools", shumbled the waiter from the foyer. "With all these wine menus, I could start a shoomble."

(noun): The state of mind where you're not sure if you're one step away from a breakdown, or if everyone else is just really bad at dealing with life.

(n.) music for the moody angst-ridden teenager types, evolved from styles played in the caribbean

A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.

n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(also: success)

(also: advice)

n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods. For your lexicographer, having written his dictionary, comes to be considered "as one having authority," whereas his function is only to make a record, not to give a law. The natural servility of the human understanding having invested him with judicial power, surrenders its right of reason and submits itself to a chronicle as if it were a statute. Let the dictionary (for example) mark a good word as "obsolete" or "obsolescent" and few men thereafter venture to use it, whatever their need of it and however desirable its restoration to favor — whereby the process of impoverishment is accelerated and speech decays. On the contrary, the bold and discerning writer who, recognizing the truth that language must grow by innovation if it grow at all, makes new words and uses the old in an unfamiliar sense, has no following and is tartly reminded that "it isn't in the dictionary" — although down to the time of the first lexicographer (Heaven forgive him!) no author ever had used a word that was in the dictionary. In the golden prime and high noon of English speech; when from the lips of the great Elizabethans fell words that made their own meaning and carried it in their very sound; when a Shakspeare and a Bacon were possible, and the language now rapidly perishing at one end and slowly renewed at the other was in vigorous growth and hardy preservation — sweeter than honey and stronger than a lion — the lexicographer was a person unknown, the dictionary a creation which his Creator had not created him to create.

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God said: "Let Spirit perish into Form,"
And lexicographers arose, a swarm!
Thought fled and left her clothing, which they took,
And catalogued each garment in a book.
Now, from her leafy covert when she cries:
"Give me my clothes and I'll return," they rise
And scan the list, and say without compassion:
"Excuse us — they are mostly out of fashion."
—Sigismund Smith

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

socially scarce, and thus socially valuable