(adj.) careful, quiet, and circumspect- indeed, one might say inconspicuous

to be confused with discrete

n. A follower of Joseph Smith, who received from an angel a revelation inscribed on brass plates and afterward revised and enlarged by his successor in the prophethood. While still an inoffensive people the Mormons were bitterly persecuted, their prophet assassinated, their homes burned and themselves driven into the desert, where they prospered, practiced polygamy and themselves took a hand in the game of persecution.
They say the Mormons are liars. They say that Joseph Smith did not receive from the hands of an angel the written revelation that we obey. Let them prove it!
—Brigham Young, Prophet and Logician.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a frightfully important person working in the army. if such a person works instead for the navy, they are an admiral. if they don't like the sound of either of those names then they might instead call themselves marshal.

when one is not general, then one is actually specific, and the specific is on the opposite side of the world from the atlantic, and tyler perry built a film studio in atlantic, georgia, and georgia patton is a very famous general so you see, it's all coming together.

the existence of a postmaster-general, an attorney-general, or a surgeon-general does not imply that they lead an army of postmasters, lawyers or surgeons, although that would be mildly amusing.

(also: Governing People)

A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.

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The devil casting a seine of lace,
(With precious stones 'twas weighted)
Drew it into the landing place
And its contents calculated.

All souls of women were in that sack —
A draft miraculous, precious!
But ere he could throw it across his back
They'd all escaped through the meshes.
—Baruch de Loppis

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A fossil patriot of the early agricultural period, found in the old red soapstone underlying Kansas; characterized by an uncommon spread of ear, which some naturalists contend gave him the power of flight, though Professors Morse and Whitney, pursuing independent lines of thought, have ingeniously pointed out that had he possessed it he would have gone elsewhere. In the picturesque speech of his period, some fragments of which have come down to us, he was known as "The Matter with Kansas."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

noun: a lost soul who may or may not be manipulative but is advocating for what one believes is right.
example: i'm sorry for breaking up your marriage, but i was just being an amberheard because i thought he loved me.

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verb: to act righteously whether morally right or wrong.
example: ricky was perceived as a compulsive liar but he was just amberhearding because he was raised to believe that's the only way to survive in corporate america.

n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavor to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with. From the Latin mens, a fact unknown to that honest shoe-seller, who, observing that his learned competitor over the way had displayed the motto "Mens conscia recti," emblazoned his own shop front with the words "Men's, women's and children's conscia recti."

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a special kind of grown-up root beer that quenches the sweltering fires in both your throat and your loins

for some reason quite popular among cowboys in the movies. well. "some" reason.

A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The founding or endowing of universities and public libraries by gift or bequest.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) an unexpectedly successful colony of the americas originally established as a free range insane asylum. currently a popular destination for sun and sand, until people actually go there and see how little of both there actually is

(1863 – 1947) Owner of Ford Motor Company. Revolutionised mass-production techniques
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: henry ford quotes)

the point at which you are most expected to pay attention

an occurrence in which the view of the sun or moon is obstructed by clouds, resulting in disappointment that you missed the eclipse

The science of spelling by the eye instead of the ear. Advocated with more heat than light by the outmates of every asylum for the insane. They have had to concede a few things since the time of Chaucer, but are none the less hot in defence of those to be conceded hereafter.

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A spelling reformer indicted
For fudge was before the court cicted.
The judge said: "Enough —
His candle we'll snough,
And his sepulchre shall not be whicted."

The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A vitreous plane upon which to display a fleeting show for man's disillusion given.
The King of Manchuria had a magic looking-glass, whereon whoso looked saw, not his own image, but only that of the king. A certain courtier who had long enjoyed the king's favor and was thereby enriched beyond any other subject of the realm, said to the king: "Give me, I pray, thy wonderful mirror, so that when absent out of thine august presence I may yet do homage before thy visible shadow, prostrating myself night and morning in the glory of thy benign countenance, as which nothing has so divine splendor, O Noonday Sun of the Universe!"

Pleased with the speech, the king commanded that the mirror be conveyed to the courtier's palace; but after, having gone thither without apprisal, he found it in an apartment where was naught but idle lumber. And the mirror was dimmed with dust and overlaced with cobwebs. This so angered him that he fisted it hard, shattering the glass, and was sorely hurt. Enraged all the more by this mischance, he commanded that the ungrateful courtier be thrown into prison, and that the glass be repaired and taken back to his own palace; and this was done. But when the king looked again on the mirror he saw not his image as before, but only the figure of a crowned ass, having a bloody bandage on one of its hinder hooves—as the artificers and all who had looked upon it had before discerned but feared to report. Taught wisdom and charity, the king restored his courtier to liberty, had the mirror set into the back of the throne and reigned many years with justice and humility; and one day when he fell asleep in death while on the throne, the whole court saw in the mirror the luminous figure of an angel, which remains to this day.

(also: life lessons from boomers)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) remedy, poison, and scapegoat -- a trifecta.
remedy because it can heal, in the right circumstances and the right amounts.
poison because it can cause damage, in the wrong place, at the wrong time, on the wrong person, in the wrong form.
scapegoat because the act of summoning all evils and fallings-short of, say, a community onto one person & then casting them out/ sacrificing them can lead to a clean slate and healing, or it can lead to things being swept under the rug and continued festering.

being reactive (aka, living within past assumptions; aka, blind to your current circumstances) can lead you astray. you may apply some substance, activity or method and expect to heal, but instead, it only causes damage. ready-made "cure-alls" and "easy fixes" fall into this category.

(also: paradox)
(also: damage)
(also: healing)
(also: pay attention)

a misunderstood free system of exchange that helps you move to the big city and get vaccinated on schedule