“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.”
― Mark Twain

Mars (aka the Red Planet) is a planet in the solar system colored red by Iron Oxide, and is home to the largest volcano in the solar system, Olympus Mons, as well as one of the largest canyons in the solar system, Valles Marineris. Mars has two moons, Phobos and Deimos.

A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

(n.) implement used by one to bring harm onto another, thus sparking off the central intrigue of civilization

A woman that has sex with everyone and wears revealing clothing.

A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted. In the American army it is ingeniously called "rev-e-lee," and to that pronunciation our countrymen have pledged their lives, their misfortunes and their sacred dishonor.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

🠕. That one.

(n.) a variety of music that gives one the impression of being bearhugged by a fat, friendly bavarian even when none are present

(1901–1976) German theoretical physicist – one of the pioneers of Quantum mechanics
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: werner heisenberg quotes)

So called question that made humans leave me alone for 7.5 million years.
The answer is 42 ,because why not.

(also: 42)
(also: life)
(also: the universe)

the little box that the magic voices are trapped in

(n.) one who can of course quit anytime they want but they're still working out how to want.

(also: drunk)

The grunt of the human hog (Pignoramus intolerabilis) with an audible memory. The speech of one who utters with his tongue what he thinks with his ear, and feels the pride of a creator in accomplishing the feat of a parrot. A means (under Providence) of setting up as a wit without a capital of sense.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(adj.) of the same name

(also: name)
(also: names)
(also: naming)

to behave under the knowledge that you could be taken out by a drone strike ten seconds from now, so it's no use waiting for anything ever.

(n.) the warehouse in which pee is stored before being, shall we say, shipped out for delivery

(n.) elongated fragments of potato that have had the nutritional value fried and salted out of them. a highly accessible food sold in many venues as a side dish

playfully referred to as "french fries," though our best intelligence suggests they may have come from belgium instead (they may also be called "freedom fries" if the french are going through a period of significant unpopularity)

n. The distinguishing device of civilization and enlightenment.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed. The question, "Is life worth living?" has been much discussed; particularly by those who think it is not, many of whom have written at great length in support of their view and by careful observance of the laws of health enjoyed for long terms of years the honors of successful controversy.

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"Life's not worth living, and that's the truth,"
Carelessly caroled the golden youth.
In manhood still he maintained that view
And held it more strongly the older he grew.
When kicked by a jackass at eighty-three,
"Go fetch me a surgeon at once!" cried he.
—Han Soper

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(v.) to borrow an item with full intent to apologize to the owner if/when caught

(also: theft)