leaving the planet

douglas adams

*This entry automatically adjusts itself to apply to the planet you are currently on.
(also: leaving the earth)
If the information below is not applicable to the planet on which you currently find yourself, then you are on the wrong planet and should rectify that at your earliest convenience.*

1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (713) 483-3111. Explain that it's very important that you get away as soon as possible.(also: nasa)
2. If they do not cooperate, phone a friend you might have in the White House- (202) 456-1414- to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.
3. If you don't have any friends in the White House, phone the Kremlin (Ask the overseas operator for 0107-095- 295-9051). They don't have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you might as well try.(also: white house)
4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 001-39-6-6982, and I gather that his switchboard is infallible.(also: pope)
5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it's vitally important you get away before your phone bill arrives.

colugo

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a gliding lemur-creature hailing from southeast asia, presumably having emigrated there from some sort of other planet inhabited by nightmares

despite the implication of the name, it is not a hybrid of the colubra and the galago

feminism

kivi
Feminism is a movement that aims to promote equality between the sexes however, in its current form it has strayed far from this noble goal. The modern feminist movement has become increasingly divisive, focusing on the idea of "victimhood" and promoting the idea that men are inherently oppressors and women are inherently oppressed. This kind of thinking is not only intellectually lazy but it is also dangerous.

It is important to recognize that while there are certainly still issues of inequality that need to be addressed, the vast majority of men are not oppressors and the vast majority of women are not victims. The problems faced by women are complex and multifaceted, and cannot be reduced to simplistic notions of patriarchy and oppression.

For example, the gender pay gap, which is often cited as evidence of systemic discrimination against women, is actually much more complicated than it seems. Studies have shown that when factors such as education, experience, and job choice are taken into account, the pay gap all but disappears. This is not to say that discrimination does not exist, but it is important to recognize that the problem is more complex than a simple narrative of men oppressing women.

Furthermore, the modern feminist movement often promotes the idea that women are weak and in need of protection, which is not only patronizing, but also undermines their capability. Women should be encouraged to take responsibility for their own lives and to strive for excellence.

It is also worth noting that the feminist movement often ignore the issues that men face, such as the pressure to conform to societal expectations of masculinity and the lack of positive role models for men. Men and women have different needs and facing different challenges, and to truly achieve equality, both men and women need to be considered.

Additionally, the feminist movement often promotes the idea that traditional gender roles are inherently oppressive, and that women should reject them in order to be truly equal. This is a fundamentally flawed idea, as traditional gender roles are not the cause of inequality, but rather a result of biological differences between men and women. Women and men have different strengths and weaknesses, and should be encouraged to play to their strengths in order to achieve their full potential.

Finally, it should be acknowledged that the feminist movement has been hijacked by extremist groups, who are more interested in promoting their own agenda, than in promoting true equality. This kind of extremism is damaging to the cause of gender equality, and it is important to reject it.

It is important to remember that the goal of feminism should be equality, not the elevation of one sex over the other. To truly achieve equality, we must reject divisive and extremist ideologies and instead focus on finding common ground and working together towards a better future for all.

physiognomy

the devils dictionary
The art of determining the character of another by the resemblances and differences between his face and our own, which is the standard of excellence.

"There is no art," says Shakespeare, foolish man,
"To read the mind's construction in the face."
The physiognomists his portrait scan,
And say: "How little wisdom here we trace!
He knew his face disclosed his mind and heart,
So, in his own defence, denied our art."
—Lavatar Shunk
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

bypasses

douglas adams
Bypasses are devices which allow some people to drive from point A to point B very fast whilst other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people of point B are so keen to get there, and what's so great about point B that so many people of point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.
(also: airbus)
(also: boeing)
(also: toyota corolla)

loss

the devils dictionary
n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he "lost his election"; and of that eminent man, the poet Gilder, that he has "lost his mind." It is in the former and more legitimate sense, that the word is used in the famous epitaph:

Here Huntington's ashes long have lain
Whose loss is our own eternal gain,
For while he exercised all his powers
Whatever he gained, the loss was ours.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

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