(n.) a life form whose insurance wouldn't cover the dinged-up genetic code.

Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.
(also: boredom)

Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that themselves are sane. For illustration, this present (and illustrious) lexicographer is no firmer in the faith of his own sanity than is any inmate of any madhouse in the land; yet for aught he knows to the contrary, instead of the lofty occupation that seems to him to be engaging his powers he may really be beating his hands against the window bars of an asylum and declaring himself Noah Webster, to the innocent delight of many thoughtless spectators.

(n.) a lifestyle of comfort and enjoyment, justifiable only through abstruse philosophical ramblings

(also: bacchanalia)
(also: food)
(also: drugs)
(also: sex)
(also: alcohol)

(n.) the bad thing that happens to balance the universe out after a good thing. sometimes vice versa

(n.) a monstrous bird-beast that ruled the earth in a simpler, less hectic time before the hustle and bustle of urban living. also that which is antiquated or obsolete.

An implement that cries aloud for hands accustomed to the pen.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be.”
― Albert Einstein
(also: Albert Einstein)

A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can with some difficulty be made, and which is used also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread per capita of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

An implement of torture yielded by a goose and commonly wielded by an ass. This use of the quill is now obsolete, but its modern equivalent, the steel pen, is wielded by the same everlasting Presence.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) when the flesh is (sometimes inconveniently) willing, though the spirit may or may not be

(n.) a genre of frivolous entertainment intended to distract from mortality

Batman is a furry who beats the shit outa poor people, and then wants them to talk after breaking ther jaw. If you see him run.

A weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh. Among the Jews observance of the day was enforced by a Commandment of which this is the Christian version: "Remember the seventh day to make thy neighbor keep it wholly." To the Creator it seemed fit and expedient that the Sabbath should be the last day of the week, but the Early Fathers of the Church held other views. So great is the sanctity of the day that even where the Lord holds a doubtful and precarious jurisdiction over those who go down to (and down into) the sea it is reverently recognized, as is manifest in the following deep-water version of the Fourth Commandment:

---

Six days shalt thou labor and do all thou art able,
And on the seventh holystone the deck and scrape the cable.

---

Decks are no longer holystoned, but the cable still supplies the captain with opportunity to attest a pious respect for the divine ordinance.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the angels are not limited to human form.
so maybe, be a little afraid, just don't go off the deep end.

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/biblically-accurate-angels-be-not-afraid


"Basically, when the people writing Scripture tried to describe what they saw when they saw an angel… they run into the end of their imagination… they can never quite seem to fully explain it because they had trouble even comprehending what they saw, let alone being able to describe it to someone else."




(also: angels)
(also: multi-headed)
(also: multi-handed)
(also: bible)
(also: doctor who)

(n.) one with admirable qualities worthy of emulation and laudable achievement, like being a main character; one who is not a zero

not a greek sandwich

an 1881 novel written by mary shelley. arguably one of the earliest known works of science fiction and the origin point for one of fiction's greatest monsters, nobody has read it, because there's a more popular movie.

the plot concerns an obsessive doctor who believes he can synthesize his own life form, but upon doing so, he fails to raise it properly, leading to a very bad wedding, an expedition to the north pole, and many ponderous philosophical arguments.

differences from the source material: in the book, the monster was motivated by revenge outright, and was pretty chatty. since the 1931 movie, people have thought of frankenstein's monster as a voiceless, child-brained hulk who doesn't fully realize the consequences of his own actions.

to be absolutely clear, the monster is not named frankenstein. the monster is never given a name. but we can call him dave, if you like. in any case he is widely acknowledged as one of the all-time groovy ghoulies, like dracula and the wolf man

(n.) one in a never-ending series of new ideas (including nationality, religion, and boredom) which has inspired human beings to violent conflict. it involves something to do with workers and production, etc. etc.

(n.) one of the more savage surviving dinosaurs, with a particularly delicious liver

adj. Crowned with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's court, acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing-mute at every royal funeral. Of all incumbents of that high office, Robert Southey had the most notable knack at drugging the Samson of public joy and cutting his hair to the quick; and he had an artistic color-sense which enabled him so to blacken a public grief as to give it the aspect of a national crime.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)