palm

the devils dictionary
A species of tree having several varieties, of which the familiar "itching palm" (Palma hominis) is most widely distributed and sedulously cultivated. This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver. The metal will adhere with remarkable tenacity. The fruit of the itching palm is so bitter and unsatisfying that a considerable percentage of it is sometimes given away in what are known as "benefactions."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

marriage

thelostghostofnietzsche
A contractual alliance typically between two parties where they agree to share assets and debts. Typical sexual and procreational exclusivity clauses are usually among the first listed in the contract. Comes with an NDA for cases of criminal charges underneath the constitution. The one land only socially accepted escape clause on death of one of the contract holders. However, there exist a method of contractual termination without having activating the escape clause. This method requires documents filled with the appropriate court system and a temporary termination of the contract for a period of sixty to three hundred sixty four days before it can be finalized.

mime

trustycoffeemug
a subspecies of clown that exhibits muted rather than garish coloration, and remains silent instead of boisterous. derives from something very french and philosophical, or so we're told.

k

the devils dictionary
K is a consonant that we get from the Greeks, but it can be traced away back beyond them to the Cerathians, a small commercial nation inhabiting the peninsula of Smero. In their tongue it was called Klatch, which means "destroyed." The form of the letter was originally precisely that of our H, but the erudite Dr. Snedeker explains that it was altered to its present shape to commemorate the destruction of the great temple of Jarute by an earthquake, circa 730 B.C. This building was famous for the two lofty columns of its portico, one of which was broken in half by the catastrophe, the other remaining intact. As the earlier form of the letter is supposed to have been suggested by these pillars, so, it is thought by the great antiquary, its later was adopted as a simple and natural—not to say touching—means of keeping the calamity ever in the national memory. It is not known if the name of the letter was altered as an additional mnemonic, or if the name was always Klatch and the destruction one of nature's puns. As each theory seems probable enough, I see no objection to believing both—and Dr. Snedeker arrayed himself on that side of the question.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

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