Bacon is simply the best part of the pig, in my opinion. It is salt cured, often smoked, and usually from the belly. The fatty belly pieces are just amazing and can be used in so many ways. I like to grill or fry bacon, and use it in sandwiches, bacon & egg and other breakfast combinations, wrapped around grilled scallops, as a topping for grilled oysters, etc. I much prefer it in decent sized slices, not bacon bits, but bacon bits do have their uses, e.g. in salad.

To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument; as, "He presided at the piccolo."

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The Headliner, holding the copy in hand,
Read with a solemn face:
"The music was very uncommonly grand —
The best that was ever provided,
For our townsman Brown presided
At the organ with skill and grace."
The Headliner discontinued to read,
And, spreading the paper down
On the desk, he dashed in at the top of the screed:
"Great playing by President Brown."
—Orpheus Bowen
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) something you and the next person over can both presumably see. and yet, you will never be quite sure you're seeing the same thing.

(also: Canadian)

n. The smallest current coin.

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"The man was in such deep distress,"
Said Tom, "that I could do no less
Than give him good advice." Said Jim:
"If less could have been done for him
I know you well enough, my son,
To know that's what you would have done."
—Jebel Jocordy


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The phenomenon by which the value of currency goes down, as if it were being simultaneously attacked by the common cold and a horde of ferocious wildebeests. A process that makes your money worth less and less, until eventually it's worth about as much as the promise of a pension from a galactic government."

(1533 – 1603) Queen of England from 1558 to her death in 1603. Cemented England as a Protestant country, defeated Spanish Armada.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: queen elizabeth i quotes)

(n.) a nation in the north of the Asian continent, primarily known for having such abundant reserves of human suffering that it became their primary export

K is a consonant that we get from the Greeks, but it can be traced away back beyond them to the Cerathians, a small commercial nation inhabiting the peninsula of Smero. In their tongue it was called Klatch, which means "destroyed." The form of the letter was originally precisely that of our H, but the erudite Dr. Snedeker explains that it was altered to its present shape to commemorate the destruction of the great temple of Jarute by an earthquake, circa 730 B.C. This building was famous for the two lofty columns of its portico, one of which was broken in half by the catastrophe, the other remaining intact. As the earlier form of the letter is supposed to have been suggested by these pillars, so, it is thought by the great antiquary, its later was adopted as a simple and natural—not to say touching—means of keeping the calamity ever in the national memory. It is not known if the name of the letter was altered as an additional mnemonic, or if the name was always Klatch and the destruction one of nature's puns. As each theory seems probable enough, I see no objection to believing both—and Dr. Snedeker arrayed himself on that side of the question.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a quote whose author needn't be MLA-cited

The opposite of music

(also: music)

A competition in which, two teams of men share balls in an attempt to stuff them into more holes than the opposing team.

(also: football)

endless abyss of cat videos, conspiracy theories and distractions

you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes, where they going, where they been.

separated from one's base instincts by a step of indirection.

A place where ships taking shelter from storms are shattered by customs officers.
(also: ship)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world.”
― John Muir
(also: tug)

Here's what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol.
It says that alcohol is a colorless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life for
(also: Encyclopedia Galactica)

Is a breed of human that chooses to identify in society" as people who play video games"

An argumentative implement formerly much used in persuading devotees of a false faith to embrace the living truth. As a call to the unconverted the rack never had any particular efficacy, and is now held in light popular esteem.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) one who is in the business of producing lumber. for some reason this invariably involves wearing red flannel shirts and cultivating a beard like the guy in amityville horror