(n.) red pulsing thing in the chests of most animals, which keeps the blood flowing to the important bits. one of the more vocal organs, which strongly complains in times of great emotional turmoil or physical exercise

n. The activity of a tongue that has no ears.
(also: humans)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(Site). Where you took the idea of this page

(n.) to utilize the element of surprise by avoiding prying eyes, so as to victimize, barbarize, and cut-down-to-size one's enemize

see also ambuscado, bacon tree

(n.) a framework to evolve your ideas & your take on the world, commonly associated with Hegel.
a paradox is all three cleverly overlaid into one, as is a koan.

(also: paradox)
(also: koan)
(also: wisdom)
(also: humility)

(384 BC – 322 BC) – Greek philosopher and polymath
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: aristotle quotes)

an argument you refute in effigy

(1769 –- 1821) – French military and political leader.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: napoleon bonaparte quotes)

time with the only goal to make yourself/others happy.
some people have hard time keeping these two groups in ballance.

a vague hinting at some sort of unspecified imminent and preventable danger

The Answer to the Great Question Of Life, The Universe, And Everything. The problem is that nobody really knows what the question is

(also: Deep Thought)

The classical prototype of the modern "small hot bird."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

of an environment in which people sometimes say things that aren't true, especially in regards to my political opponents

One forgotten of the gods and living to a great age. History is abundantly supplied with examples, from Methuselah to Old Parr, but some notable instances of longevity are less well known. A Calabrian peasant named Coloni, born in 1753, lived so long that he had what he considered a glimpse of the dawn of universal peace. Scanavius relates that he knew an archbishop who was so old that he could remember a time when he did not deserve hanging. In 1566 a linen draper of Bristol, England, declared that he had lived five hundred years, and that in all that time he had never told a lie. There are instances of longevity (macrobiosis) in our own country. Senator Chauncey Depew is old enough to know better. The editor of The American, a newspaper in New York City, has a memory that goes back to the time when he was a rascal, but not to the fact. The President of the United States was born so long ago that many of the friends of his youth have risen to high political and military preferment without the assistance of personal merit. The verses following were written by a macrobian:

---

When I was young the world was fair
And amiable and sunny.
A brightness was in all the air,
In all the waters, honey.
The jokes were fine and funny,
The statesmen honest in their views,
And in their lives, as well,
And when you heard a bit of news
'Twas true enough to tell.
Men were not ranting, shouting, reeking,
Nor women "generally speaking."

The Summer then was long indeed:
It lasted one whole season!
The sparkling Winter gave no heed
When ordered by Unreason
To bring the early peas on.
Now, where the dickens is the sense
In calling that a year
Which does no more than just commence
Before the end is near?
When I was young the year extended
From month to month until it ended.

I know not why the world has changed
To something dark and dreary,
And everything is now arranged
To make a fellow weary.
The Weather Man — I fear he
Has much to do with it, for, sure,
The air is not the same:
It chokes you when it is impure,
When pure it makes you lame.
With windows closed you are asthmatic;
Open, neuralgic or sciatic.

Well, I suppose this new régime
Of dun degeneration
Seems eviler than it would seem
To a better observation,
And has for compensation
Some blessings in a deep disguise
Which mortal sight has failed
To pierce, although to angels' eyes
They're visibly unveiled.
If Age is such a boon, good land!
He's costumed by a master hand!
—Venable Strigg

there were many cleopatras in history, but if you'll permit me to duck the niceties, there is virtually no chance you mean any other cleopatra beside cleopatra vii

cleopatra vii (70-30 BC) was a descendant of ptolemy and queen of egypt (in her time a country ruled not by the tourism board but greek nobles). known for having affairs with both julius caesar and marc antony, and somewhat less known for marrying her ten year old brother when she was 18. often depicted as a schemer, a seductress, and an exotic beauty by those who forget ancient people did not use the same hairstyles or makeup styles as modern people.

(n.) the eternal cycle of violence and poor career decisions which keeps us all occupied until death

adj. Crowned with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's court, acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing-mute at every royal funeral. Of all incumbents of that high office, Robert Southey had the most notable knack at drugging the Samson of public joy and cutting his hair to the quick; and he had an artistic color-sense which enabled him so to blacken a public grief as to give it the aspect of a national crime.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Originally the ninth month of the year until some Roman jerk decided he wanted to destroy all known naming conventions and slide two extra months in the world's biggest and most successful hold my beer.

(also: Hold My Beer)

Something acted upon by magnetism.