(n.) a chemical substance used to regulate one's more eccentric behaviors. no, booze does not count.

a quote whose author needn't be MLA-cited

pro. The objectionable case of I. The personal pronoun in English has three cases, the dominative, the objectionable and the oppressive. Each is all three.
(also: you)
(also: the devils dictionary)

A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
(also: governing people)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) ravening hordes, unwashed masses, hoi polloi or riffraff

(also: horde)

Size. Magnitude being purely relative, nothing is large and nothing small. If everything in the universe were increased in bulk one thousand diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remained unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been. To an understanding familiar with the relativity of magnitude and distance the spaces and masses of the astronomer would be no more impressive than those of the microscopist. For anything we know to the contrary, the visible universe may be a small part of an atom, with its component ions, floating in the life-fluid (luminiferous ether) of some animal. Possibly the wee creatures peopling the corpuscles of our own blood are overcome with the proper emotion when contemplating the unthinkable distance from one of these to another.

If their food had some flavor, maybe Helen wouldn't have grown up to be such a world-wrecking bitch.

(n.) a way of saying "distinguishing characteristics," when you feel that just saying "distinguishing characteristics" just wouldn't cut it

"hey, this has all the indicia of a run on the banks, george!"

n. The part of immortality that we know about.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. Authors of other dictionaries.

to stand on one's knees, shins, and hyperextended toes

Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability, as a domestic horse to the hitching-post, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination — free, lawless, immune to bit and rein. Your novelist is a poor creature, as Carlyle might say — a mere reporter. He may invent his characters and plot, but he must not imagine anything taking place that might not occur, albeit his entire narrative is candidly a lie. Why he imposes this hard condition on himself, and "drags at each remove a lengthening chain" of his own forging he can explain in ten thick volumes without illuminating by so much as a candle's ray the black profound of his own ignorance of the matter. There are great novels, for great writers have "laid waste their powers" to write them, but it remains true that far and away the most fascinating fiction that we have is "The Thousand and One Nights."
(also: marriage)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The fundamental element and special glory of popular literature. A thought that snores in words that smoke. The wisdom of a million fools in the diction of a dullard. A fossil sentiment in artificial rock. A moral without the fable. All that is mortal of a departed truth. A demi-tasse of milk-and-morality. The Pope's-nose of a featherless peacock. A jelly-fish withering on the shore of the sea of thought. The cackle surviving the egg. A desiccated epigram.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the digital slot machine

(also: gambling)
(also: addiction)

(adverb): A versatile word that can mean both "definitely not" and "I'm considering it". Useful for creating confusion and avoiding commitment. A favorite of politicians and indecisive people everywhere.

not weighed-down, those sheeple

(n.) sadness which has an almost crippling effect

probably the force that led you to this online dictionary

(bk.)The painful story of the 7 sons of the deviant lord Vlad III and an innocent dwarf they captured in the forest.

(n.) apparently one of the creator's attempts at the ultimate life form. commonly found in maryland

A house of atonement, or expiatory chapel, fitted with several stools of repentance, as distinguished from monogamy, which has but one.
(also: marriage)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)