sausage

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a foodstuff consisting of a cylindrical tubule of visceral meat components. Widely appreciated by members of the German diaspora and those who have not seen them actually being made.

(also: food)

boy scout

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a member of an organization for young boys so that they may engage in outdoorsmanship, civic virtue and charity mugging; also someone who has the corny sense of morality attributed to such a person

be prepared! that's the boy scout's marching song. be prepared! as thru life you go along
be prepared to hide your liquor pretty well. don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell
be prepared! to hide that pack of cigarettes. don't make book, if you cannot cover bets
keep those reefers hidden where you're sure they won't be found
be careful not to smoke them when the scoutmaster's around
for he only will insist that they be shared- be prepared!

be prepared! that's the boy scout's solemn creed. be prepared! and be clean in word and deed
don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice (unless you get a good percentage of her price)
be prepared! and be careful not to do your good deed, when there's no-one watching you
if you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind
and you come across a girl scout who is similarly inclined
don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared- be prepared!
-tom lehrer

list of all isms

lister
a
absolutism
absurdism
academicism
accidentalism
acosmism
adamitism
adevism
adiaphorism
adoptionism
aestheticism
agapism
agathism
agnosticism
anarchism
animism
annihilationism
anthropomorphism
anthropotheism
antidisestablishmentarianism
antilapsarianism
antinomianism
antipedobaptism
apocalypticism
asceticism
aspheterism
atheism
atomism
autosoterism
autotheism


b
bitheism
bonism
bullionism


c
capitalism
casualism
catabaptism
catastrophism
collectivism
collegialism
communism
conceptualism
conservatism
constructivism
cosmism
cosmotheism


to be continued

roundhead

the devils dictionary
A member of the Parliamentarian party in the English civil war — so called from his habit of wearing his hair short, whereas his enemy, the Cavalier, wore his long. There were other points of difference between them, but the fashion in hair was the fundamental cause of quarrel. The Cavaliers were royalists because the king, an indolent fellow, found it more convenient to let his hair grow than to wash his neck. This the Roundheads, who were mostly barbers and soap-boilers, deemed an injury to trade, and the royal neck was therefore the object of their particular indignation. Descendants of the belligerents now wear their hair all alike, but the fires of animosity enkindled in that ancient strife smoulder to this day beneath the snows of British civility.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

symbol

the devils dictionary
Something that is supposed to typify or stand for something else. Many symbols are mere "survivals" — things which having no longer any utility continue to exist because we have inherited the tendency to make them; as funereal urns carved on memorial monuments. They were once real urns holding the ashes of the dead. We cannot stop making them, but we can give them a name that conceals our helplessness.
(also: SYMBOLIC)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

samurai

trustycoffeemug
a component of the social fabric of pre-meiji japan, samurai were warrior nobles sworn to the service of lords and emperors. in times of war they were highly trained combat elites in swordsmanship, horsemanship, archery and tactics; in peacetime they were expected to take on administrative duties or enjoy their own cultural pursuits such as calligraphy, poetry, and hanging out with geishas (not prostitutes... okay, mostly)

for the purposes of foolish ignorant pig westerners, samurai are just guys with ponytails and white robes who go around making "ho! ha! hokkaido!" noises.

chimpanzee

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the nearest relative to humanity in the animal kingdom, sharing our boundless savagery but generally looking cuter in tiny clothes or while riding a unicycle

not to be confused with bonobos, assuming one wishes to keep their face glued onto their skull

ridicule

the devils dictionary
Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them. It may be graphic, mimetic or merely rident. Shaftesbury is quoted as having pronounced it the test of truth — a ridiculous assertion, for many a solemn fallacy has undergone centuries of ridicule with no abatement of its popular acceptance. What, for example, has been more valorously derided than the doctrine of Infant Respectability?
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

redundant

the devils dictionary
Superfluous; needless; de trop.

The Sultan said: "There's evidence abundant
To prove this unbelieving dog redundant."
To whom the Grand Vizier, with mien impressive,
Replied: "His head, at least, appears excessive."
—Habeeb Suleiman

Mr. Debs is a redundant citizen.
—Theodore Roosevelt
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

stall vendors on cozumel

trustycoffeemug
cozumel, an idyllic island between cancun and cuba, offers opportunities for sightseeing, diving, and food which are not to be passed up by the adventurous traveler. however, it is paramount to be wary of the chief threat on the island, extremely pushy stall vendors

to walk down the corredor de artesanos is to run the gauntlet of shell jewelry, textiles, sunglasses, and the odd jar of local preserves. avoiding their gaze will not deter them. politely declining will not dissuade them. they cannot be haggled with, they cannot be reasoned with, they do not feel pity, remorse, or fear. they absolutely will not stop until the cash in your pockets has been converted into kitsch

but if you can get by them there's a pretty good taco place on the beach.

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