Everywhere at once. That the power of omnipresence, or ubiquity, is denied to mortals was known as early as the time of Sir Boyle Roche, who in a speech in Parliament said: "A man cannot be in two places at once unless he is a bird."

a country to the northish and eastish of westernish europe.

one of those countries where a genocidal war of attrition could be fought and outsiders would probably only be vaguely aware of it.

A form of penance practiced by the medieval pious. The rite was performed, sometimes with a knife, sometimes with a hot iron, but always, says Arsenius Asceticus, acceptably if the penitent spared himself no pain nor harmless disfigurement. Scarification, with other crude penances, has now been superseded by benefaction. The founding of a library or endowment of a university is said to yield to the penitent a sharper and more lasting pain than is conferred by the knife or iron, and is therefore a surer means of grace. There are, however, two grave objections to it as a penitential method: the good that it does and the taint of justice.

(also: god)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

to oil up for God, who said "only the slickest shall enter my kingdom"

A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

that which occurs when the other shoe finally drops, and that shoe sets off an elaborate rube goldberg device that culminates with your balls being snapped in a mousetrap hold-down bar. so to speak.
(also: consequence)

also "sci-fi" (skiffy) if you're afraid of using too many syllables.

a genre of fiction, consisting of stories that, broadly speaking, dare to imagine new inventions, technologies, or scientific discoveries, and how they would affect the world. often this will consist of showing us how humanity would use these new discoveries to destroy itself or oppress each other; there are startlingly few stories where police using psychics to stop crime, or society having a robot taskforce, or people upgrading themselves with cyborg limbs, actually turns out to be a *good* thing (though this may just be because stories where only good things happen are boring).

some concepts you should know about so you won't look like a dweeb in front of sci-fi fans:
* the future, where a lot of these stories tend to take place
* aliens, folks who come from off this island earth. show up in a lot of sci-fi stories, usually invading us, getting invaded by us, or just sort of hanging around bars as a way for the special effects team to show off.
* robot, artificially constructed people, because naturally you'd want your smartphone to look like a person
* ftl: faster-than-light travel, required in any sci-fi story with space travel, or else it would take millennia to finish
* time travel: being able to leave today and go to yesterday, or tomorrow. prone to logical paradoxes.
* hard science fiction: sci-fi that tries to be as realistic as possible. is not a form of pornography
* space opera: stories where people fly around in spaceships and have fantastic adventures on other planets
* cyberpunk and other punk; stories that show how technological process won't fix society's usual problems

(n.) buffoonery or clowning-around

sucks to be tom, i guess

time is an illusion
lunchtime doubly so

The ratio of people tired of someone else's shit. Typically measured by county, city, or state, where applicable.

(also: North Carolina)

One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(also: pantaloons)

a singer (to be precise, both a wailer and a crooner) who enjoyed enormous popularity between the nineteen-fifties and nineteen-seventies, culminating with his going to seed and an ignominious death on the toilet

known for his distinctive voice and sense of style, he has been called the king of rock and roll. although he had a surname (presley), it is rarely necessary to use it, as he is the most famous bearer of the name 'elvis' in history.

these facts, taken into consideration with the hordes of those who seek to impersonate him at las vegas and who insist they have seen him alive and well long after his death, suggest that he is roughly on par with jesus of nazareth in his religious significance

(noun) A fantastical biological marvel that combines equal parts functionality and absurdity. This intricate vessel houses an orchestra of organs, from the Brain Commander to the Skeletal Frame Squad, the Cardiovascular Symphony, and the Digestive Circus. It boasts peculiar quirks like the ability to hiccup, sneeze, and produce embarrassing noises. A constant source of wonder and amusement, reminding us that life is a fascinating, occasionally unpredictable, and often hilarious adventure.


Teaching Tip: Incorporate visual aids such as diagrams, models, or virtual reality tools to enhance students' understanding of the human body. Encourage active learning by organizing group discussions or interactive activities that involve students in exploring different body systems and their functions.

(1712-1778) – French philosopher, author of Social Contract
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: jean-jacques rousseau quotes)

(n.) an outdoor party venue where attendees generally wear their best clothes; although quiet, they remain very popular. most people will visit at least once a lifetime and even so many are simply dying to get in.

(n.) something untrue that people will nonetheless believe in, and thus the exact reverse of scientific research

(n.) an edible grass that is traditionally hunted and served in a thick milky soup alongside herbs known as marshmallows

(n.) a breed of European that combines the culinary pretensions of the french with the fiery passions of the spanish. they were briefly the center of the civilized western world but today are better known for pizza and pasta

A vertebrate mammal holding the political views of Denis Kearney, a notorious demagogue of San Francisco, whose audiences gathered in the open spaces (sandlots) of the town. True to the traditions of his species, this leader of the proletariat was finally bought off by his law-and-order enemies, living prosperously silent and dying impenitently rich. But before his treason he imposed upon California a constitution that was a confection of sin in a diction of solecisms. The similarity between the words "sandlotter" and "sansculotte" is problematically significant, but indubitably suggestive.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)