A competing or opposing lawyer.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A form of penance practiced by the medieval pious. The rite was performed, sometimes with a knife, sometimes with a hot iron, but always, says Arsenius Asceticus, acceptably if the penitent spared himself no pain nor harmless disfigurement. Scarification, with other crude penances, has now been superseded by benefaction. The founding of a library or endowment of a university is said to yield to the penitent a sharper and more lasting pain than is conferred by the knife or iron, and is therefore a surer means of grace. There are, however, two grave objections to it as a penitential method: the good that it does and the taint of justice.

(also: god)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) leaves, grasses, needles (or the like) + hot water. and idc what the tea snobs say.


https://www.teasource.com/pages/types-of-tea
https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Lemongrass-Tea

(also: bubble tea)


(n.) leaked drama, generally about e-celebs.
there are whole youtube channels dedicated to 'spilling the tea' on popular YouTubers.
(also: spill the tea)

a historical temple complex tucked into the jungles of the yucatan in mexico, one of the more famous remnants of mayan culture.

chichen itza's central jewel is a pyramid called el castillo, the castle, itself known for the astonishingly painstaking detail used by its architects, who imbued the structure's design with veritable assloads of mathematical significance. the entire complex is almost perfectly arranged so the west-facing staircase of el castillo lines up with the equator, the temple of the warriors with the tropic of cancer, and the thousand columns with the tropic of capricorn, with the sunrise aligning with each on the appropriate equinoxes and solstices. the north-facing staircase of el castillo is decorated with a snaky motif that points in the direction of a sacred cenote, or underground sinkhole-lake.

it also makes funny noises when you clap near it. sort of a tennis ball noise. go on, try it.

beware of mayan stall vendors, they are at their most obdurate in chichen itza and may mob you in a desperate bid to sell you a bird call.

(also: creation of the universe)

The most tempting touchable in all known existence. It's also a source of great peril, fraught with blood and pain. Only touch the floof at your own risk.

“Jenny tried to rub Mrs. Flufferbutt's cat belly, and was rewarded with many scratches.”

(also: pork belly)

(abbreviated to Piano), n. An instrument thoughtfully provided by American husbands and fathers for their wives and daughters, in observance of Bulwer's dictum that "the best way to keep the dear creatures from playing the devil is to encourage them in playing the fool."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

/rɛd/ (adj.):
A hue resembling a ripe tomato or a Marxist manifesto. Also used to describe a balance sheet that's "in the red," which is financial jargon for "totally screwed."

(n.) buffoonery or clowning-around

sucks to be tom, i guess

A european country known for an excessive amount of beer consumption and pen thieving president

(n.) one of nature's more impressive primal displays, a huge arc of electricity that courses through the air during atmospheric storms, striking the nearest convenient point of low electrical potential, and superheating the air to cause an explosion we call thunder

if it could only be greased, then lightning might well prove to be automatic, systematic, and hydromatic, and indeed, may be a useful way to get lots of tit.

(n.) a traveling attraction which offers clowns, stunt performances and trained animals.

circus is also the latin word for "circle," which explains why Piccadilly Circus is one of London's most disappointing tourist attractions next to pall mall

A republican form of government deriving its powers from the conceit of the governed — in thinking they govern.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the catch-all term for nationally-syndicated televised news programs; these can be thought of as analogous to cartoons, only viewed by old people (though the cartoons tend to leave the viewer more stable)

some eastern european country. they might have roses or quaint folk dances or something. Who knows.

the last big hurrah of the 18th century, featuring liberty, equality, and brotherhood as side dishes alongside a main course of blood, horror, devastation and death. brought to us by france; we assume it was all staged in an attempt to win at eurovision

what exactly happened (in a nutshell): after several massive wars, droughts, hailstones, and the aftermath of a massive volcanic eruption in iceland, france was facing a fairly serious famine and economic crisis. public sentiment was tipping very heavily against the monarchy (at the time, headed by king louis xvi), and this finally reached its fever pitch in 1789, when an angry mob raided the bastille (a political prison) to steal weapons; three years after that, the monarchy was abolished, and two years after that, after the king was caught sneaking off to austria to raise an army against the revolutionaries, he was messily executed with members of his family.

so democracy came to france, and many people were executed, and eventually a war broke out across all of europe. then napoleon came into power and even more war broke out across all of europe! good times

in the end: it wound up not mattering a whole lot because after napoleon fell in 1814 france went back to being a monarchy. live and learn.

learn about the major players in the french revolution by clicking here! well, not here-here, i mean where those blue words are.

supported by both sects of the ruling class

a nation invented in 1871
(also: Prussia)

(1475 – 1564) Renaissance sculptor, painter and architect
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: michelangelo quotes)

(noun):
A lovably mischievous creature that serves as the loyal sidekick to an evil mastermind, often seen wearing adorable overalls and speaking in their own unique language that sounds like a mix of gibberish and silliness.


(also: serving as a loyal sidekick)
(also: wearing adorable overalls)
(also: speaking in unique language)
(also: sounding like gibberish and silliness)
(also: being mischievous and lovable)
(also: accompanying an evil mastermind)