Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.
(also: boredom)

Sky water that makes your already bad day even worse

(n.) a european who drinks olive oil from the flask and despises spaniards

In politics the party that prevents the Government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
The King of Ghargaroo, who had been abroad to study the science of government, appointed one hundred of his fattest subjects as members of a parliament to make laws for the collection of revenue. Forty of these he named the Party of Opposition and had his Prime Minister carefully instruct them in their duty of opposing every royal measure. Nevertheless, the first one that was submitted passed unanimously. Greatly displeased, the King vetoed it, informing the Opposition that if they did that again they would pay for their obstinacy with their heads. The entire forty promptly disemboweled themselves.

"What shall we do now?" the King asked. "Liberal institutions cannot be maintained without a party of Opposition."

"Splendor of the universe," replied the Prime Minister, "it is true these dogs of darkness have no longer their credentials, but all is not lost. Leave the matter to this worm of the dust."

So the Minister had the bodies of his Majesty's Opposition embalmed and stuffed with straw, put back into the seats of power and nailed there. Forty votes were recorded against every bill and the nation prospered. But one day a bill imposing a tax on warts was defeated — the members of the Government party had not been nailed to their seats! This so enraged the King that the Prime Minister was put to death, the parliament was dissolved with a battery of artillery, and government of the people, by the people, for the people perished from Ghargaroo.

A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors. In order to effect this purpose it is necessary to supply a contrast in the person of one who is called the defendant, the prisoner or the accused. If the contrast is made sufficiently clear this person is made to undergo such an affliction as will give the virtuous gentlemen a comfortable sense of their immunity, added to that of their worth. In our day the accused is usually a human being, or a socialist, but in mediæval times, animals, fishes, reptiles and insects were brought to trial. A beast that had taken human life, or practiced sorcery, was duly arrested, tried and, if condemned, put to death by the public executioner. Insects ravaging grain fields, orchards or vineyards were cited to appeal by counsel before a civil tribunal, and after testimony, argument and condemnation, if they continued in contumaciam the matter was taken to a high ecclesiastical court, where they were solemnly excommunicated and anathematized. In a street of Toledo, some pigs that had wickedly run between the viceroy's legs, upsetting him, were arrested on a warrant, tried and punished. In Naples an ass was condemned to be burned at the stake, but the sentence appears not to have been executed. D'Addosio relates from the court records many trials of pigs, bulls, horses, cocks, dogs, goats, etc., greatly, it is believed, to the betterment of their conduct and morals. In 1451 a suit was brought against the leeches infesting some ponds about Berne, and the Bishop of Lausanne, instructed by the faculty of Heidelberg University, directed that some of "the aquatic worms" be brought before the local magistracy. This was done and the leeches, both present and absent, were ordered to leave the places that they had infested within three days on pain of incurring "the malediction of God." In the voluminous records of this cause célèbre nothing is found to show whether the offenders braved the punishment, or departed forthwith out of that inhospitable jurisdiction.
(also: judge)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1721 – 1725) Russian Emperor who expanded the Tsarist Empire to make Russia European power.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: peter the great quotes)

a mid tier choir in the angel hierarchy. The middle manager of the middle management among angels. Nestled safely above the 3rd Ranked angels, archangels, and principalities so they aren't as well known those but they don't have to do much of the grunt stuff. But they are beneath the 1st ranks so they only get the word of god second hand. If they get a glimpse of god is it usually because he is meeting with a much cooler hotshot archangel to offer them a position or discuss their performance review in the company. It is common knowledge that if you are looking for a promotion from virtues to 1st Rank, you need to be an archangel.

To assist with obstructions and objections.

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How lonely he who thinks to vex
With badinage the Solemn Sex!
Of levity, Mere Man, beware;
None but the Grave deserve the Unfair.
—Percy P. Orminder

(n.) the stuff that makes a great man or woman.
(v.) "I will my life forward." "I will (to) keep my promises."

(also: willing)
(also: voluntary)
(also: volition)

(n.) one whose newfangled ideas indicate the imminent collapse of all proud and decent society, society evidently being constantly threatened by newfangled ideas

field of health whose main tenet is that pain is bad in and of itself, rather than just being a symptom of bad. This is in opposition to fitness, which says that pain is a symptom of bodily good.

according to some philosophies, the two forces that compete eternally for the privilege of predominating across the cosmos are best described as order and chaos

as barbarian tribes and pirate republics have struggled against imperialistic superpowers throughout history, and as the gods of civilization and culture have fought against dragons and giants and the primordial forces of raw nature in mythology, so too in the world of physics does the universe seem to vacillate between the orderly movement of the vast cosmos universe predicted by general relativity, and the chaotic and unpredictable mechanics of the infinitesimal quantum world.

in the grand scheme of things our paltry views of right and wrong are both meaningless and absurd

have you seen our entry on cheese?

A game said to be played with cards for some purpose to this lexicographer unknown.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

in ancient egypt: a poo-bah, a big shot. the king (not elvis... except in semipopular musical stageplay "joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat")

a direct translation to english apparently would be "great house"

(1743 – 1826) 3rd President of US. Principle author of the US Declaration of Independence.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: thomas jefferson quotes)

endless abyss of cat videos, conspiracy theories and distractions

noun: a lost soul who may or may not be manipulative but is advocating for what one believes is right.
example: i'm sorry for breaking up your marriage, but i was just being an amberheard because i thought he loved me.

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verb: to act righteously whether morally right or wrong.
example: ricky was perceived as a compulsive liar but he was just amberhearding because he was raised to believe that's the only way to survive in corporate america.

An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.

(1816-1908): a frenchman and scientist in the field of biochemistry, and archenemy of louis pasteur. by modern reckoning pasteur won their last bout, by striking antoine's glass jaw of granular theory with the devastating right hook of germ theory

a partnership between russia and a number of other eastern european states that existed between 1922 and 1991. this union formed one of the major blocs in world politics at that time, along with the nato bloc consisting of the united states and its buddies, and the third bloc that didn't give a damn.

the soviet union and the nato bloc were in a state of cold war for decades following world war ii, which was such a bonding experience that everyone felt a little let down when it finally ended. as a memory of those happier times, america and russia continue to occasionally dick with each other.