(n.) a merry-go-round; a carnival attraction consisting of a large round gazebo, rotating slowly as it emits menacing calliope music, and filled with petrified and impaled animals on which merrymakers are invited to ride.

a tiny alpine country nestled between france, germany, and italy. throughout history it has managed to stay wealthy and peaceful by providing other countries with things they need (formerly mercenaries, nowadays tax havens) without otherwise getting involved in international politics in any way whatsoever.

offers nice skiing, decent education, clean, orderly cities and quiet seclusion, but the price for this is that there's virtually no nightlife. you can have swiss banks or french brothels, but, it would appear, not both.

(n.) a small tree able to be held between two fingers, used to scrape leftovers from between your teeth or debris from other hard-to-reach spaces.

... usually it is considered a bad idea to do both with the same toothpick.

The climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked arboreal ancestors whom it keenly concerned. The setting up of official weather bureaus and their maintenance in mendacity prove that even governments are accessible to suasion by the rude forefathers of the jungle.

---

Once I dipt into the future far as human eye could see,
And I saw the Chief Forecaster, dead as any one can be —
Dead and damned and shut in Hades as a liar from his birth,
With a record of unreason seldom paralleled on earth.
While I looked he reared him solemnly, that incandescent youth,
From the coals that he'd preferred to the advantages of truth.
He cast his eyes about him and above him; then he wrote
On a slab of thin asbestos what I venture here to quote —
For I read it in the rose-light of the everlasting glow:
"Cloudy; variable winds, with local showers; cooler; snow."
—Halcyon Jones

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the destination

a dance where you are forcibly frolicked around a circle

(noun):
A mythological figure in spandex, armed with superpowers and a wardrobe that defies practicality. They battle villains, save the day, and occasionally face existential crises about their secret identities.

(also: superhero)
(also: american art of saving the day)

“Slutty,” but spelled wrong.

(british) a sport originally played in britain in the middle ages. it is played by two opposing teams who stand on opposite ends of a lawn and try to kick a ball into the opposing side's net. conceptually a fairly mind-numbing pastime, most people watch it in hopes of seeing the game degenerate into violence.

"classic" brutish british football is played according to strict association rules developed over centuries, and is thus called soccer (mostly by americans). however, several "unofficial" variations of the sport exist, including those that evolved into rugby, american football (see below) and probably some other, even worse ones.

(n.) some rich toff's daughter with expensive clothes who exists to be rescued by the hero in approximately seventy percent of all stories featuring them. we always skip over the bit where she's later brutally killed in a peasant rebellion.

adj. Destitute of hair from hereditary or accidental causes—never from.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Internet royalty who wields godlike powers of charity and clickbait.

(n.) a shaggy, garishly-dressed, drugged up young person who spends his time zoned out of his mind in some kind of psychedelic rock concert and protesting the general state of things and stuff

they were a major source of parental alarm in the 60s and 70s until they were replaced by, oh, let's say punks

a death strip preventing pedestrians from entering a city without a car

noun: living beings, whether animals or creatures, that provide solace and grievance depending on one's mood.
Example: my dog is an important member of my family.

(n.) a stabbier form of tooth

n. Authors of other dictionaries.

italian interjection, conveying surprise. similar to "my goodness!"

ex:
"we ran out of pizza rolls!"
"mamma mia!"

(n.) a traditional form of halloween decoration consisting of a vegetable that has been mutilated and disemboweled. a candle is then placed inside the hollowed-out specimen so that the baleful light may evoke the visage of a hideous, grinning face, to be presented on one's doorstep on halloween night.

the real horror comes days after that when you have to clean it up.

(also: pumpkin)

(n.) a thing which a reporter may report on, in the hopes of validating their career decisions