Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.
(also: Socrates)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The act of reminding people of the horrible things they already knew, allowing you slight relief from the guilt of doing nothing about it yourself.

meat from an animal that was happy to be slaughtered

(n.) one in a never-ending series of new ideas (including nationality, religion, and boredom) which has inspired human beings to violent conflict. it involves something to do with workers and production, etc. etc.

where to begin? egyptian history spans over 5000 years. egypt was ancient long before the single day on which rome was built.

to be as brief as is feasible, the upper and lower portions of egypt first became unified sometime between 3200 and 3000 BC, possibly by somebody named Narmer or Menes, who thus became the founder of the first dynasty of pharaohs. narmer's dynasty dicks around for a bit, leave behind a few prototype tombs in the village of saqqara, and is replaced by a second dynasty. that dynasty does more dicking around and is replaced again. this more or less sets the tone for the rest of egyptian history.

old kingdom egypt (3rd-6th dynasties); the big pointy pyramids you're thinking of come from the fourth dynasty
* an intermediate period (7th-11th dynasties)
middle kingdom egypt (11th-13th dynasties); the book of the dead, that famous egyptian book you've heard of, only shows up in rough draft form around this period
* another intermediate period (13th-17th dynasties)
new kingdom egypt (18th-20th dynasties); tutankhamun, the one pharaoh everyone has heard of, was the second-to-last pharaoh of the 18th dynasty
* sure, why not another intermediate period (21st-25th dynasties), followed by some twilight years (the late period extending to the 31st dynasty), during which egypt got conquered by persians


By this point it's already the 330s BC, and greece (led by alexander the great) took over egypt and left it in control of some doofus named ptolemy. not too long after that, it was conquered again by the romans, by which time we've only just arrived at caesar boinking cleopatra.

(phrase) The classic alibi for students lacking completed assignments. An ancient excuse passed down through generations, invoking the mystical power of mischievous canines. Often accompanied by exaggerated tales of voracious paper consumption. A reliable source of amusement for teachers and a desperate plea for leniency, met with skeptical eyes and collective eye rolls.


(also: I forgot to do the assignment)
(also: My computer crashed and I lost all my work)

family is some blood-related -most of the time- humans believing that their love is unconditional

(n.) the warehouse in which pee is stored before being, shall we say, shipped out for delivery

(n.) that which helps establish a rhythm and a balance to poetry. feel the flow of your words and thoughts, don't force it. forced rhymes are like nails on a chalkboard, and no one wants that.
unsurprisingly, it is etymologically (thereby, historically and psychologically) connected both to mathematics, precision, reason, as well as to soul, flow, symmetry. a bridge between oft-warring factions (of science and spirituality).

earlier, also written as:
(also: rime)
(also: rhime)

the ancient chinese art of mystical housekeeping

A form of incantation to conjure up a hope that is to be exorcised later by inattention.

(272 AD – 337) Roman Emperor who accepted Christian religion.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: constantine the great quotes)

a belief that Jesus will return for 1000 years of paradise, after which He will say "that was great, but I gotta go", leaving us to spend the rest of eternity in our wretched godlessness.

n. The mummy of a pig embalmed in brine. To "save one's bacon" is to narrowly escape some particular woman, or other peril.

---

By heaven forsaken,
By Justice o'ertaken,
He saved his bacon
By cutting a single slice of it;
For 'twas cut from the throat,
And we venture to quote
Death, hell and the grave as the price of it.
—S. F. Journal of Commerce


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

An implement, madam, to whose Latin name, jugum, we owe one of the most illuminating words in our language — a word that defines the matrimonial situation with precision, point and poignancy. A thousand apologies for withholding it.
(also: voke)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) small green leguminous vegetables. we know a remote farm in lincolnshire, owned by mrs. buckley, where peas grow, every July...

do you really mean that? i thought we were going to have a, a picture of a snowy field on this entry. isn't that the fun of it? we have the snowy field and then we cut to the can of peas. a big dish of peas. we're talking about this buckley broad and she's picking them. right? i don't understand you, what's...

why? why would i link on "in?" that doesn't make any sense. sorry, there's no known way to write an article about peas and segue into the link for the word "in." get me a jury and show me how that's done and i'll go down on you. that's just idiotic, if you don't mind me saying so. "in." impossible. meaningless. you're not thinking. there's too much editing going on around here. i accept edits from one person under protest, two i don't sit still. who the hell are you, anyway? why the hell are you asking me for more links? jesus.

you don't know what i'm up against here. this is a very wearying one. unpleasant to write. unrewarding. i wouldn't edit any living writer the way you're doing this. the right text for this article is the text i'm writing. and now i've spent like twenty times more text on this article than anything else i've ever written. you are such pests. what is it you want? What, in the depths of your ignorance, what is it you want? whatever it is you want, i can't deliver. i just don't see it. no money is worth this.

anyway, here under protest is beef burgers

(n.) like flavor but for fundamental properties of matter

Pittbull is an American music artist. It is widely believed that he is enjoyed but not a very good one.

For we're do the sails of life lead?
Rudderless in direction.
The captain knows
Yet lest we see
Blow winds to far off destinations.

- Pittbull (song: Timber feat. Ke$ha)

c. 3000 BC Egyptian pharaoh who united Upper and Lower Egypt to found the First Dynasty.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: menes quotes)

a handily decimalized system of measurements that encapsulates means for gauging distance (meter), volume (liter), mass (gram), and temperature (degree celsius). eschewed by americans as one of those things they do to pretend they're not part of the world.