trinity

the devils dictionary
In the multiplex theism of certain Christian churches, three entirely distinct deities consistent with only one. Subordinate deities of the polytheistic faith, such as devils and angels, are not dowered with the power of combination, and must urge individually their claims to adoration and propitiation. The Trinity is one of the most sublime mysteries of our holy religion. In rejecting it because it is incomprehensible, Unitarians betray their inadequate sense of theological fundamentals. In religion we believe only what we do not understand, except in the instance of an intelligible doctrine that contradicts an incomprehensible one. In that case we believe the former as a part of the latter.
(also: god)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

lead

the devils dictionary
n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers — particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives. Lead is also of great service as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.

Hail, holy Lead! — of human feuds the great
And universal arbiter; endowed
With penetration to pierce any cloud
Fogging the field of controversial hate,
And with a swift, inevitable, straight,
Searching precision find the unavowed
But vital point. Thy judgment, when allowed
By the chirurgeon, settles the debate.
O useful metal! — were it not for thee
We'd grapple one another's ears alway:
But when we hear thee buzzing like a bee
We, like old Muhlenberg, "care not to stay."
And when the quick have run away like pullets
Jack Satan smelts the dead to make new bullets.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

money

trustycoffeemug
(n.) see currency, medium of exchange, storehouse of value, moolah, simoleons, shekels, dinero, cash. something designated as having value equivalent to a certain amount of goods or services; this designated value is considered one of the lies that forms a central pillar of civilization.

groundbreaking

mirat
(adjective):
A term used liberally by self-important individuals to describe the most mundane of accomplishments, as if they single-handedly discovered a cure for boredom or invented a revolutionary way to tie shoelaces. It's like witnessing someone pat themselves on the back for successfully opening a jar of pickles or managing to walk and chew gum simultaneously. Groundbreaking moments in the realm of exaggeration often involve feats of mind-boggling mediocrity, leaving the rest of us scratching our heads and wondering if we missed the memo on what constitutes actual progress.

ubiquity

the devils dictionary
The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only. This important distinction between ubiquity and omnipresence was not clear to the mediæval Church and there was much bloodshed about it. Certain Lutherans, who affirmed the presence everywhere of Christ's body, were known as Ubiquitarians. For this error they were doubtless damned, for Christ's body is present only in the eucharist, though that sacrament may be performed in more than one place simultaneously. In recent times ubiquity has not always been understood — not even by Sir Boyle Roche, for example, who held that a man cannot be in two places at once unless he is a bird.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

persuasion

the devils dictionary
A species of hypnotism in which the oral suggestion takes the hindering form of argument or appeal.
In the legislative body of the future, votes will be won, as now, by hypnotic suggestion, but there will be no darkening of counsel and impeding of the public business by debate; opposition will be stared into assent.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

inspirational quotes

quote
“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.”
― John Lennon
(author: John Lennon)

red

boo
/rɛd/ (adj.):
A hue resembling a ripe tomato or a Marxist manifesto. Also used to describe a balance sheet that's "in the red," which is financial jargon for "totally screwed."

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