a country to the northish and eastish of westernish europe.

one of those countries where a genocidal war of attrition could be fought and outsiders would probably only be vaguely aware of it.

(n.) something that is not what it is perceived to be, like the way you perceive me as someone who gives a crap

God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It's just that the translations have gone wrong.

(phrase) The ingenious defense strategy employed by academically challenged individuals when faced with unfinished assignments. A whimsical excuse that taps into the profound appetite of canines for academic knowledge, transforming homework into a delectable delicacy. The phenomenon amuses teachers, inspires disbelief, and perpetuates the legend of scholarly pups with insatiable appetites.


(also: homework)
(also: student)
(also: teacher)

That quality in art which is most painful to the prurient.

An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness. In this country satire never had more than a sickly and uncertain existence, for the soul of it is wit, wherein we are dolefully deficient, the humor that we mistake for it, like all humor, being tolerant and sympathetic. Moreover, although Americans are "endowed by their Creator" with abundant vice and folly, it is not generally known that these are reprehensible qualities, wherefore the satirist is popularly regarded as a sour-spirited knave, and his every victim's outcry for codefendants evokes a national assent.

---

Hail Satire! be thy praises ever sung
In the dead language of a mummy's tongue,
For thou thyself art dead, and damned as well —
Thy spirit (usefully employed) in Hell.
Had it been such as consecrates the Bible
Thou hadst not perished by the law of libel.
—Barney Stims
(also: humor)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A super hero whose super power is essentialy trow straws

A document treacherously inflicted upon a citizen going abroad, exposing him as an alien and pointing him out for special reprobation and outrage.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a room above your house, for storing old things and providing a sporting hiding place for menacing intruders

“Where there are ruins, will undoubtedly be snakes.”
—Indiana Jones

(n.) country that serves as the origin place of western society and democracy (at least, the original kind of western society and democracy, with less individual freedom and more gay sex).

Famed for the understated beauty of their marble statues (even though those statues were originally painted and look nothing like the artists originally intended)

a shepherd's staff held by a bishop in order to present himself as "one of the laymen"

the state of zoning out often experienced when controlling a 2-ton piece of metal going at inhuman speeds

The original John Henry, this 1st century folk hero died building inroads as fast as the emperor of Rome.

In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.
(also: Congress)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

An erroneous appraisement

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A very popular chat app thats known for neckbeards, gamers, traps and pedophiles.

a lucrative industry built on exploiting people's insecurities and desire for companionship. A fool's game where experts are often single and unhappy.

(1831-1879) Scottish physicist. Maxwell made a significant contribution to understanding electromagnetism
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: james clerk maxwell quotes)

(n.) a feline predator of the americas, of a spotty complexion

to be sure you're looking at a jaguar, as opposed to a leopard, or cheetah, examine the spots closely to see if they resemble big splotches rather than small dots. Go on, get right up near that thing.