machine used to make people's voices less pleasant for usage in humorous similes.

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

(n.) the opposite of a friend; like an archenemy, but, lacking arches, they do not warrant as much support

(n.) someone of high rank or prestige, or someone whose delusion of rank and prestige needs to be indulged; a muckety-muck

n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem — a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.

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'Tis said by divers of the scholar-men
That poor Salmasius died of Milton's pen.
Alas! we cannot know if this is true,
For reading Milton's wit we perish too.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a vague hinting at some sort of unspecified imminent and preventable danger

remember back in, what, 3rd grade, was it? when at the end of the school year there was nothing to do in class and we just sat in a line and gave the person in front a back rub? Back when we could be intimate, bonding like that. Nowadays we'd be all self-conscious and we would all be uncomfortably joking about sexual undertones, but back then it was just a thing we did as peers. But now that we're teenagers we can never be in that state of innocent, friendly intimacy.

(n.) step two if your beloved has been cut to pieces in a fairytale: now pour the living water, the water of life. rejoice, for your beloved is with you once more! do not drink the living water. the gods frown on you testing their goodwill so. the water of life is for sacred purposes, not petty thirst. be on your way now, you still have a ways to go on your quest.

https://nicholaskotar.com/2018/10/05/living-and-dead-water/

(also: dead water)
(also: magical water)
(also: slavic folktales)

Satire, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The act of reminding people of the horrible things they already knew, allowing you slight relief from the guilt of doing nothing about it yourself.

“Dance, when you're broken open. Dance, if you've torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you're perfectly free.”
― Rumi
(also: rumi)

(n.) a city in the southeast of the north american continent, which exists mostly as a place for suicidal people to kill themselves through pleasant means like drunkenness and grotesque overeating

(also: bacchanalia)

(n.) a possibly nonexistent place to which the soul will supposedly immigrate following death. in the west such a place would generally be referred to as heaven if it's a good place and hell if it's a bad one.

the mother of solutions

n. A sacred rite of such efficacy that he who finds himself in heaven without having undergone it will be unhappy forever. It is performed with water in two ways—by immersion, or plunging, and by aspersion, or sprinkling.

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But whether the plan of immersion
Is better than simple aspersion
Let those immersed
And those aspersed
Decide by the Authorized Version,
And by matching their agues tertian.
—G.J.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a food that takes the form of an O made of fried sugar-dough. even though such toruses are theoretically without beginning or end, donuts tend to be gone very quickly.

(n.) a person one knows and in whose company they may pass pleasurable time. one who is not too zealous in their quest for repayment of borrowed money

the knowledge of friendship can be a source of comfort when the road looks rough ahead and one is miles and miles from their nice warm bed

(noun) A colossal economic tumbleweed that rolled through the 1930s, leaving barren wallets and shattered dreams in its wake. A time when Wall Street took a nosedive, fortunes evaporated, and the job market turned into a cruel game of musical chairs. Soup lines became the catwalks of survival fashion, and "brother, can you spare a dime?" was the national anthem. A period when laughter was in short supply, but resilience and resourcefulness prevailed, reminding us that even in the darkest times, human spirit can find a flicker of hope.

Teaching Tip: Make the Great Depression relatable to students by connecting it to their own lives. Help them understand the impact of economic hardships by engaging in activities that simulate budgeting, rationing, and the experience of poverty. This hands-on approach fosters empathy and deepens their understanding of the era's challenges and resilience.

n. A long glove covering a part of the arm. Worn in New Jersey. But "mousquetaire" is a mighty poor way to spell muskeeter.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)