i left my textbook at home

snape
(phrase) The hapless predicament experienced by students desperately seeking knowledge but thwarted by the absence of a crucial educational tome. A masterclass in forgetfulness, resulting in panic, creative improvisation, and daring acts of textbook retrieval. A tale of woe that ignites the sympathy of teachers, evokes theatrical sighs, and teaches the valuable lesson of double-checking one's backpack before embarking on academic adventures.


(also: I didn't have enough time to finish it)
(also: I left it at home by mistake)
(also: I was sick and couldn't complete the work)
(also: I had a family emergency)
(also: I didn't have access to the necessary resources)

religion

the devils dictionary
A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
"What is your religion, my son?" inquired the Archbishop of Rheims.

"Pardon, monseigneur," replied Rochebriant; "I am ashamed of it."

"Then why do you not become an atheist?"

"Impossible! I should be ashamed of atheism."

"In that case, monsieur, you should join the Protestants."
(also: god)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

tights

the devils dictionary
An habiliment of the stage designed to reinforce the general acclamation of the press agent with a particular publicity. Public attention was once somewhat diverted from this garment to Miss Lillian Russell's refusal to wear it, and many were the conjectures as to her motive, the guess of Miss Pauline Hall showing a high order of ingenuity and sustained reflection. It was Miss Hall's belief that nature had not endowed Miss Russell with beautiful legs. This theory was impossible of acceptance by the male understanding, but the conception of a faulty female leg was of so prodigious originality as to rank among the most brilliant feats of philosophical speculation! It is strange that in all the controversy regarding Miss Russell's aversion to tights no one seems to have thought to ascribe it to what was known among the ancients as "modesty." The nature of that sentiment is now imperfectly understood, and possibly incapable of exposition with the vocabulary that remains to us. The study of lost arts has, however, been recently revived and some of the arts themselves recovered. This is an epoch of renaissances, and there is ground for hope that the primitive "blush" may be dragged from its hiding-place amongst the tombs of antiquity and hissed on to the stage.
(also: infinite)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

limb

the devils dictionary
n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.

'Twas a pair of boots that the lady bought,
And the salesman laced them tight
To a very remarkable height —
Higher, indeed, than I think he ought —
Higher than can be right.
For the Bible declares — but never mind:
It is hardly fit
To censure freely and fault to find
With others for sins that I'm not inclined
Myself to commit.
Each has his weakness, and though my own
Is freedom from every sin,
It still were unfair to pitch in,
Discharging the first censorious stone.
Besides, the truth compels me to say,
The boots in question were made that way.
As he drew the lace she made a grimace,
And blushingly said to him:
"This boot, I'm sure, is too high to endure,
It hurts my — hurts my — limb."
The salesman smiled in a manner mild,
Like an artless, undesigning child;
Then, checking himself, to his face he gave
A look as sorrowful as the grave,
Though he didn't care two figs
For her pains and throes,
As he stroked her toes,
Remarking with speech and manner just
Befitting his calling: "Madam, I trust
That it doesn't hurt your twigs."
—B. Percival Dike

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

ledger

orikami
(n.) an account of how things stand. what (or who!) has come in, what (or who) has gone out. handy for an overview.

historically, (n.) "a book that lies permanently in some specified place."
historically, also (adj.) "remaining in a place, permanent, stationary"

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