An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

---

When the world was young and Man was new,
And everything was pleasant,
Distinctions Nature never drew
'Mongst kings and priest and peasant.
We're not that way at present,
Save here in this Republic, where
We have that old régime,
For all are kings, however bare
Their backs, howe'er extreme
Their hunger. And, indeed, each has a voice
To accept the tyrant of his party's choice.

A citizen who would not vote,
And, therefore, was detested,
Was one day with a tarry coat
(With feathers backed and breasted)
By patriots invested.
"It is your duty," cried the crowd,
"Your ballot true to cast
For the man o' your choice." He humbly bowed,
And explained his wicked past:
"That's what I very gladly would have done,
Dear patriots, but he has never run."
—Apperton Doke

(also: the devils dictionary)

(n.) a straw human acting as a piece of autumnul decor, as well as to frighten corn thieves away from corn (it operates on the same principle as the panopticon; the corn thief cannot be sure if the scarecrow is a real human capable of reprisal or simply a sack of hay. the uncertainty eats them alive from the inside until they destroy themselves.

compare gargoyles, similarly created as symbols of fear to ward off evil

(n.) politely saying sorry after you hit them with a hockey stick

(phrase) The brilliant work of fiction crafted by a cunning student, blending elements of forgetfulness and deception into a tapestry of plausible deniability. A tall tale that seeks to absolve oneself from the burden of unfinished assignments, with a touch of theatrical regret and a sprinkle of innocent confusion. A calculated gambit aimed at evoking sympathy, begging forgiveness, and avoiding the consequences of procrastination. A clever ploy that tests the patience and discernment of teachers, exposing the delicate dance between trust and skepticism in the realm of academia.

(adj.) winding down, coming to an end (of a chapter), releasing the spoils of war (& life).

(also: moon)
(also: wheel of life)
(also: wheel of fortune)
(also: shape of stories)

To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.
(also: maid)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

machine used to make people's voices less pleasant for usage in humorous similes.

A small European animal that is kind enough to lend its name to the American tongue as a euphemism for that of the native skunk, than which it is esteemed more genteel. Like the skunk, however, it makes music for the deaf when kicked.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.
(also: death)

adj. Pertaining to a kind of marriage between a man of exalted rank and a woman of low degree by which the wife gets nothing but a husband, and not much of a husband. From Morgan (J. P.), a king of finance, by a transaction with whom nobody gets anything at all.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.

---

We know by one's reading
His learning and breeding;
By what draws his laughter
We know his Hereafter.
Read nothing, laugh never —
The Sphinx was less clever!
—Jupiter Muke
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) licensed grave robbery, carried out by the more rugged and outdoorsy variety of academic. But not quite as rugged or outdoorsy as you're thinking.

State of lacking social contact, or generally anything you feel you need for your life. Much as physical, hunger is said to be healthy ('builds the character'), in long period of time it unhelalthily deforms your behaviour, limits your activities and makes you sad

individuals who make others uncomfortable, and exude predatory intent, which they spend a great deal of time insisting to their targets aren't bad intentions, at all. Honestly.

Subtypes of creepers range from simply staring at you in a retail store, to running up to you and self-destructing, violently.

(also: Minecraft)

(adj.) a good state for the world to be in.
a good state for any real system to be in, really.

(also: rivers)
(also: healing)
(also: health)

A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

phrase used when saying something to indicate that I am saying the thing. If you get offended when people say things like that, now is the time to be offended.

(n.) an organ somewhere in, I'm guessing, the torso, that probably does something important with blood or bile or somesuch

A man with parents issues,he wonder around his city(also known as gotham city)punching people with a mental ilnesd,wearing a furry suit in the shape of a bat.

(also: advice)