simp

respect me
Simp is a word used specaly by kids for describing any male in a relation with a female(friends or lovers),or the other meaning that is a man too attentive and submissive to women.

apache pistol

trustycoffeemug
a weapon utilized for a brief time in the 19th century which proves that something primarily intended to be cool usually winds up being very stupid indeed

named for les apaches, a hardened street gang which terrorized paris in la belle époque, this weapon consisted of a cheaply made pepperbox pistol with a brass knuckleduster in place of a proper grip, and a low-grade knife blade protruding from the barrel like a bayonet

naturally, the gun bit was about as accurate as a coked-up economist and the knife bit had only marginally more shear strength than play-doh, so in effect les apaches were famous for more or less ruining a perfectly functional set of brass knuckles.

attila the hun

trustycoffeemug
the roman world was in a mess; the emperor caused no end of stress
then in the year four-forty-one, there came this guy, attila the hun
run away! Here comes attila
flee today! he'll sack your villa
can't you see? he's come to kill ya
swipe your bed, and then your pilla
attila was a nasty king; he and his huns wrecked everything
he lived by arson and the sword, burned down france cuz he got bored
run away! here comes attila
far away! go to manilla
kills more people than godzilla
swipes your sheets and then your pilla
to a wedding attila went, looking sharp like a hunnish gent
made a quick speech, went to bed; very next morning, was found dead
fare thee well, goodbye attila
bury him deep neath the rolling hillas
he wore shorts made of chinchilla
his favorite ice cream was strawberry

soviet union

trustycoffeemug
a partnership between russia and a number of other eastern european states that existed between 1922 and 1991. this union formed one of the major blocs in world politics at that time, along with the nato bloc consisting of the united states and its buddies, and the third bloc that didn't give a damn.

the soviet union and the nato bloc were in a state of cold war for decades following world war ii, which was such a bonding experience that everyone felt a little let down when it finally ended. as a memory of those happier times, america and russia continue to occasionally dick with each other.

beatnik

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a filthy, poorly-dressed, drugged up young person who spends his time reading incomprehensible stream-of-consciousness poetry in some dingy coffee shop basement.

they were a major source of parental alarm in the 50s and 60s until they were replaced by hippies

pie

the devils dictionary
An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.

Cold pie was highly esteemed by the remains.
—The Rev. Dr. Mucker, in a funeral sermon over a British nobleman

Cold pie is a detestable
American comestible.
That's why I'm done — or undone —
So far from that dear London.
—From the Headstone of a British Nobleman, in Kalamazoo
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

puppet

trustycoffeemug
(n.) an inanimate object that is, usually for entertainment purposes, given voice and animation by a person. this person is usually called a puppeteer or a lobbyist

puppets come in many forms, from the humble googly-eyed sock worn over one's hand, whereafter the fingers can be moved to make its "mouth" flop around like that of a fish corpse; to the marionette, controlled by long strings affixed to its joints and artfully tugged by the fingers of a mustachioed italian man. these are just examples. could also be something much better.

ptolemy i

trustycoffeemug
ptolemy i soter (367-282 BC) was a doofy-looking greek man who served as a military commander under alexander the great, for which he was made satrap (governor) of egypt, starting a new greek dynasty over the whole country (as well as other bits of the levant). he also responsible for establishing the musaium, the great library and university at alexandria.

following alexander's somewhat mysterious death while on campaign in babylon, ptolemy was on hand to have the conqueror's body taken to alexandria to be properly buried, which would have been read, by the custom of the time, as a declaration that he was alexander's "real, for true" successor (and it's rumored by some that he might have been alexander's illegitimate brother, though this is unlikely)

the ptolemaic dynasty of egypt was plagued by incest and treachery (yadda yadda) until it finally ended in 30 BC, when julius caesar decided egypt would make a nice backyard extension.

sign-up or face the consequences!


“"observers" must obey the call.”
join

sign up