Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man.
The pig is taught by sermons and epistles
To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.
—Judibras
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
Cold pie was highly esteemed by the remains.
—The Rev. Dr. Mucker, in a funeral sermon over a British nobleman
Cold pie is a detestable
American comestible.
That's why I'm done — or undone —
So far from that dear London.
—From the Headstone of a British Nobleman, in Kalamazoo
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
Cold pie was highly esteemed by the remains.
—The Rev. Dr. Mucker, in a funeral sermon over a British nobleman
Cold pie is a detestable
American comestible.
That's why I'm done — or undone —
So far from that dear London.
—From the Headstone of a British Nobleman, in Kalamazoo
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.
"Behold great Daubert's picture here on view —
Taken from Life." If that description's true,
Grant, heavenly Powers, that I be taken, too.
—Jali Hane
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
"Behold great Daubert's picture here on view —
Taken from Life." If that description's true,
Grant, heavenly Powers, that I be taken, too.
—Jali Hane
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
The young of the Procyanthropos, or Americanus dominans. It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
In the manner of a traveling railroad magnate.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(abbreviated to Piano), n. An instrument thoughtfully provided by American husbands and fathers for their wives and daughters, in observance of Bulwer's dictum that "the best way to keep the dear creatures from playing the devil is to encourage them in playing the fool."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
The art of determining the character of another by the resemblances and differences between his face and our own, which is the standard of excellence.
"There is no art," says Shakespeare, foolish man,
"To read the mind's construction in the face."
The physiognomists his portrait scan,
And say: "How little wisdom here we trace!
He knew his face disclosed his mind and heart,
So, in his own defence, denied our art."
—Lavatar Shunk
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
"There is no art," says Shakespeare, foolish man,
"To read the mind's construction in the face."
The physiognomists his portrait scan,
And say: "How little wisdom here we trace!
He knew his face disclosed his mind and heart,
So, in his own defence, denied our art."
—Lavatar Shunk
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.
(also: PHONOGRAPH)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: PHONOGRAPH)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
The classical prototype of the modern "small hot bird."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
A competing or opposing lawyer.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
A species of hypnotism in which the oral suggestion takes the hindering form of argument or appeal.
In the legislative body of the future, votes will be won, as now, by hypnotic suggestion, but there will be no darkening of counsel and impeding of the public business by debate; opposition will be stared into assent.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
In the legislative body of the future, votes will be won, as now, by hypnotic suggestion, but there will be no darkening of counsel and impeding of the public business by debate; opposition will be stared into assent.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
"Persevere, persevere!" cry the homilists all,
Themselves, day and night, persevering to bawl.
"Remember the fable of tortoise and hare —
The one at the goal while the other is — where?"
Why, back there in Dreamland, renewing his lease
Of life, all his muscles preserving the peace,
The goal and the rival forgotten alike,
And the long fatigue of the needless hike.
His spirit a-squat in the grass and the dew
Of the dogless Land beyond the Stew,
He sleeps, like a saint in a holy place,
A winner of all that is good in a race.
—Sukker Uffro
"Persevere, persevere!" cry the homilists all,
Themselves, day and night, persevering to bawl.
"Remember the fable of tortoise and hare —
The one at the goal while the other is — where?"
Why, back there in Dreamland, renewing his lease
Of life, all his muscles preserving the peace,
The goal and the rival forgotten alike,
And the long fatigue of the needless hike.
His spirit a-squat in the grass and the dew
Of the dogless Land beyond the Stew,
He sleeps, like a saint in a holy place,
A winner of all that is good in a race.
—Sukker Uffro
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