trustycoffeemug

a week that commemorates the week jesus christ returned to jerusalem, which ended with his betrayal, crucifixion and eventual resurrection. for catholic people this week marks the end of lent. for everyone else, it is simply the week leading up to discount chocolate at the grocery store.

* palm sunday: supposedly represents the day jesus returned to jerusalem
* holy monday: represents the day jesus cursed at a fig tree (or something)
* holy tuesday: represents the day jesus received the vision of his own impending death
* spy wednesday: represents the day judas iscariot arranged for jesus' betrayal. does not involve james bond.
* maundy thursday: no idea what a maundy is, but this supposedly represents the day of the last supper jesus enjoyed with his disciples
* good friday: represents the day of the crucifixion
* black saturday: represents jesus chilling while being dead
* easter

it can be assumed all of these involve some kind of praying or something.

(n.) little black bird that suddenly appears every time roadkill is near

(n. or v.) the act of destroying or damaging something or someone else for one's own advantage.

something which the beastie boys cannot stand and know you planned

"you're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece!"

-a carefully crafted insult intended to describe one whose appearance might be called grabastic

(adj.) describing something which appears cobbled together from unrelated components, like a quilt made by grandmother, a monster made by frankenstein or a car made by an albanian

a handily decimalized system of measurements that encapsulates means for gauging distance (meter), volume (liter), mass (gram), and temperature (degree celsius). eschewed by americans as one of those things they do to pretend they're not part of the world.

(n.) one afflicted by madness or frenzy; one who dances like they've never danced before

(n.) a ferocious little animal hailing from australia. it may have the power to spin around really fast and make disgusting gurgling/snarling noises. it may not. let's just say it does.

(n.) a probably-extinct critter once native to africa. more properly called the thylacine; although this rhymes with wolverine, this creature is not a close relative of that life form, and is unlikely to snikt, bub, or fight for the rights of mutants.

(n.) a category of hoofed animal known for its graceful fragility, probably one of those humanity will wipe out someday. Damn humanity.

many incredible antelope variations exist, particularly in africa; for example, the kudu, the oryx, the wildebeest, the diuker, and the dikdik. wait, that can't be right. dikdik? really? huh.

actually camels are not horses! horses are odd-toed ungulates, while camels belong to the order of even-toed ungulates, and are therefore more closely related to cows, pigs, goats, sheep, deer, antelope, giraffes, and even whales

now you know, and knowing is half the saddle.

the momentary condition of the planet's atmosphere, particularly with regards to heat, cold, precipitation intensity,, earth, wind, fire, torrents of falling fish... that sort of stuff.

the most pointless crime, because everybody knows mass cannot be truly destroyed (or created)

(adj.) intractable, incorrigible, and not susceptible to moral persuasion. generally very willfully naughty

(adj.) persistent, dogged, and not easily dispelled or dissuaded. like a stall vendor in a latin american tourist trap. or a d, i suppose.

activity carried out by suckers who don't know how to invest

(n.) a device used to scan one's surroundings and convert the scan into a two-dimensional image which can later be shown to your neighbors at boring get-togethers.

may also steal souls.

a sport involving the use of mallets to guide wooden balls through metal hoops. presumably, it must follow that croquet + baseball = cricket.

a chronic condition characterized by sudden and uncontrollable onset of sleep. the main thing to remember about narcolepsy iszzzzzzzzzz...

(n. or adj.) things which come from the planet mars, or an adjective describing the same.

for the time being, the planet seems to be primarily inhabited by rocks, with a disappointing dearth of twelve-foot green-skinned nomad warriors. and no otters, neither.