a mainstream religion that predominates throughout the western world. it purports to follow the teachings of jesus christ/jesus of nazareth, a sectarian leader from roman-occupied judea some 2000 years ago, regarded as a divine figure (either god or a relative of His) by christians. jesus taught many things, but since almost nobody can agree on what exactly they were, discussing these things is a bit difficult.

christianity comes in a number of flavors.
--catholicism: more or less original recipe christianity, supposedly founded by jesus' friend peter, who tried to bring his teachings to rome and in doing so was crucified upside down and became known as the first pope. catholics favor big cathedrals and elaborate vestments, and a complicated hierarchy of bishops, priests, deacons, monks and nuns, and thus they're the only denomination that gets to fight demons in the movies. practically any denomination that is not catholic is protestant.
--other episcopal denominations, who like the vestments and complicated hierarchy but don't want to follow the pope, resulting in a number of schisms. includes the egypt-based coptic church which broke away in 42 AD; the greek-based eastern orthodox church, which broke away in 1054; the german-based lutheran church that broke away in 1517; the england-based anglican church which broke away in 1534; and the episcopaleans who are basically anglican but refuse to acknowledge anything from england.
--then there's a bunch of denominations that don't like having elaborately-dressed bishops or cathedrals at all, so they settle mostly for button down shirts and office buildings: see presbyterians, baptists, and the red-headed stepchild of the family tree, the mormons

as might be inferred, it's a whole big thing.

n. The mummy of a pig embalmed in brine. To "save one's bacon" is to narrowly escape some particular woman, or other peril.

---

By heaven forsaken,
By Justice o'ertaken,
He saved his bacon
By cutting a single slice of it;
For 'twas cut from the throat,
And we venture to quote
Death, hell and the grave as the price of it.
—S. F. Journal of Commerce


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1542-1604) third ruler of the mughal empire, which was based in india but whose ruling class was persian. akbar was a fascinating study in contradictions; although illiterate (possibly dyslexic), he was a patron of intellectuals and philosophers. although an accomplished military leader in a land of sectarian conflict, he promoted peace and understanding between his muslim and hindu subjects

under his rule, the mughal empire grew to encompass much of india, and reached a golden age characterized by unimaginable heights of prosperity. then everything just sort of fell apart after he died. ah well.

no, he was not a space squid, and he did not help destroy the death star

A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called "trousers" by the enlightened and "pants" by the unworthy.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.
(also: bypasses)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a cucumber that has been mummified in vinegar brine and packaged in an ornate sarcophagus

a horrific mouthless bird-monster used in heraldry. It doesn't represent anything.

Satire, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

an antiquated slang term for a plainclothes detective. the name probably originates from the popular image of them sneaking about as if wearing gumshoes- that is, galoshes, rubberized boots worn in mud or other messy conditions, in which one would feel compelled to walk more gingerly.

there is no known tendency for detectives or people in galoshes to get gum on a shoe. it could happen, sure, but still.

A tide in the affairs of an army swayed by the attraction of loot.
(also: the devils dictionary)

A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not a rabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explained that the comestible known as toad-in-a-hole is really not a toad, and that riz-de-veau à la financière is not the smile of a calf prepared after the recipe of a she banker.
(also: humor)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the normal, the casual, the common

(adj.) coming from the origin, and remaining connected to it; perhaps transformed, but never warped nor mutilated.
many people of the modern first world live their lives carrying (and burdened by) the mistaken idea that to be original means something has to be new: artists. teenagers. but that's simply not what original means, in its true spirit!
and I do say burdened because it can weigh heavy if you want to be original and leave an original legacy. and it will feel like an impossible task.
release that ego weight.



it's about being true, not about being new.

(also: nothing new under the sun)
(also: a little love is not so bad)

1) the galaxy in which our puny planet resides. because our earth lies relatively far from the center, we can observe most of this galaxy stretched out across the night sky in a glorious cosmic arch, should one desire a reminder of our utter insignificance

2) a confection consisting of a rectangular bit of whipped mousse and molten sugarcane, coated in a mixture of ground chalk and boiled potato skins with milk chocolate flavoring. british people will insist on calling it a mars bar, with the effect of rendering it far less out of this world.

fleshy beings made of meat that somehow conquered and tame a planet full of creatures that eat things made of meat. Also their meat is called Long Pork.

A man with parents issues,he wonder around his city(also known as gotham city)punching people with a mental ilnesd,wearing a furry suit in the shape of a bat.

a two-week-long suicide threat

(n.) a Sufi order, whirling towards God.


(the following link is not broken, though it appears to be)


(also: sufi)
(also: dance)
(also: trance)
(also: meditation)

(n.) a flatbread smeared with crushed tomato and cheeses, topped with the spicier forms of meat and perhaps more exotic toppings. widely enjoyed as a form of food which the eater does not have to make themselves

was invented by italians, probably as a form of atonement for either opera or mussolini