A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills.

A member of the unconsidered, or negligible sex. The male of the human race is commonly known (to the female) as Mere Man. The genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.
(also: the devils dictionary)

a popular t-shirt, available at most Targets.

n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women. As in Rome Christians were thrown to the lions, so centuries earlier in Otumwee, the most ancient and famous city of the world, female heretics were thrown to the mice. Jakak-Zotp, the historian, the only Otumwump whose writings have descended to us, says that these martyrs met their death with little dignity and much exertion. He even attempts to exculpate the mice (such is the malice of bigotry) by declaring that the unfortunate women perished, some from exhaustion, some of broken necks from falling over their own feet and some from lack of restoratives. The (also: mice), he avers, enjoyed the pleasures of the chase with composure. But if "Roman history is nine-tenths lying," we can hardly expect a smaller proportion of that rhetorical figure in the annals of a people capable of so incredible cruelty to lovely woman; for a hard heart has a false tongue.

(also: mice)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(phrase) The hapless predicament experienced by students desperately seeking knowledge but thwarted by the absence of a crucial educational tome. A masterclass in forgetfulness, resulting in panic, creative improvisation, and daring acts of textbook retrieval. A tale of woe that ignites the sympathy of teachers, evokes theatrical sighs, and teaches the valuable lesson of double-checking one's backpack before embarking on academic adventures.


(also: I didn't have enough time to finish it)
(also: I left it at home by mistake)
(also: I was sick and couldn't complete the work)
(also: I had a family emergency)
(also: I didn't have access to the necessary resources)

The urge to slap, hit, punch, kill, or otherwise physically harm your sibling.
Named after Cain who, in biblical canon, commited the first murder by hitting his brother on the head with a rock.
(also: fratricide)
(also: bible)

(n.) a deep story, which, when measured against literal-mindedness, seems a lie (hence the popular use of the term 'myth' to indicate a falsehood). a story children will ask to hear again and again, not because they are stupid or have low standards, but because they are absorbing cultural and existential patterns.

hear my vow,
I reclaim this term 'myth',
here and now!

(also: vow)
(also: oath)

(also: stake-claiming flag)
(also: flag on the moon)

n. Dr. Bartlett, of the Bulletin.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a thing which is probably at the center of our galaxy. probably an all-consuing supermassive black hole, like my ex.

(n.) a way of saying "creature" with an excess of saccharine folksy American charm

(noun):
A lovably mischievous creature that serves as the loyal sidekick to an evil mastermind, often seen wearing adorable overalls and speaking in their own unique language that sounds like a mix of gibberish and silliness.


(also: serving as a loyal sidekick)
(also: wearing adorable overalls)
(also: speaking in unique language)
(also: sounding like gibberish and silliness)
(also: being mischievous and lovable)
(also: accompanying an evil mastermind)

a lucrative industry built on exploiting people's insecurities and desire for companionship. A fool's game where experts are often single and unhappy.

(n.) the ability to hold the interest of another, regardless of how nonsensical the things you say might be

a dance where you are forcibly frolicked around a circle

vipers (always venomous):
*rattlesnakes (snakes with built in warning maracas; not mariachi players)
*fer-de-lances (snakes with fancy french names; not medieval knights)
*bushmasters (south american jungle snake; not a porn category)
*puff adders (north african grassland snake; not a good smoking buddy)
*night adders (another african grassland snake; not played by rowan atkinson)
*copperheads (and cottonmouths, which are basically the same things)

elapids (sometimes venomous):
*cobras (hooded snakes; not affiliated with the klan)
*king cobras (hooded snakes; not affiliated with the british royal family)
*coral snakes (colorful snake; not a harmless milksnake, though it strongly resembles one, leading to one of nature's more fun gambling games)
*death adders (snake with a cool name; does not play death metal)
*kraits (very venomous snakes from india; not meant to be smashed by donkey kong)
*taipan (very venomous snakes from around india; not a tie or a pan)

colubras (rarely venomous):
*boomslangs (not similar to boomerangs)
*kingsnakes (not the last scion of numenor seeking to reclaim throne of gondor)
*garter snakes (a harmless bum who just wants to crash in your garden; not an article of women's underwear)

pythons (never venomous, they simply crush the life out of prey instead)
boas (constrictors like pythons; not feathery scarves)

there are more but let's be honest, you don't care

(also: god)
The Great Creator
Otherwise known as "Some guy trying to do his dissertation".

The wonders you see before you were created during undergraduate study of English and Contemporary Media in Cardiff Metropolitan University.
The wily little git managed to worm his way out of writing 10,000 words for a dissertation, but got more than he bargained for when he took on this ridiculous project.

He is quoted as saying:
"Creating universes is hard work, I've no idea how all those other deities manage it!"

What an arse.

(1787–1851) French artist and photographer, who is credited with the invention of the camera.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: louis daguerre quotes)

(1571 – 1630) German mathematician and astronomer who created laws of planetary motion.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: johannes kepler quotes)

New York's ugly, unappreciated sister.

Funny skeleton man from undertale