(n.) the cockroach of the sea, considered more palatable than its land dwelling cousin

The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with the grin that apes a smile. Being a blind faith, it is inaccessible to the light of disproof — an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.

An imaginary all knowing, all seeing being that children are taught to believe in, who rewards them once a year for behaving well.

Also (God for children)

someone who is capable of immersing into digital environments. There are many kinds of gamers. Some enjoy building up their strength as heroes, and saving worlds alongside beloved allies. Others prefer to play the role of the villain or hoodlum, and revel in the glorious chaos they wreak. Another category of gamer plays to escape, either from negative thoughts and feelings, or for other reasons, not related to such things. All gamers have something they connect with in their game that they enjoy, or occupies their energy. Never assume that any demographic of person can be a better gamer than any other demographic of person. This is a toxic myth that looms over gamer culture, preventing it from reaching its utopia.

(also: utopia)

I'm sorry

A soldierly compound of vanity, duty and the gambler's hope.
"Why have you halted?" roared the commander of a division at Chickamauga, who had ordered a charge; "move forward, sir, at once."

"General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy."

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

me
(also: Chad)

(n.) one brother fighting over possession of a toy, when the brothers are nations and the toy is disputed territory

A play representing life in another world, whose inhabitants have no speech but song, no motions but gestures and no postures but attitudes. All acting is simulation, and the word simulation is from simia, an ape; but in opera the actor takes for his model Simia audibilis (or Pithecanthropos stentor) — the ape that howls.

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The actor apes a man — at least in shape;
The opera performer apes an ape.
(also: the devil's dictionary)

(1822 – 1895) French biologist. Developed a cure for rabies and other infectious diseases.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: louis pasteur quotes)

n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavor to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with. From the Latin mens, a fact unknown to that honest shoe-seller, who, observing that his learned competitor over the way had displayed the motto "Mens conscia recti," emblazoned his own shop front with the words "Men's, women's and children's conscia recti."

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a fatal flaw. the gravest of sins. impossible to right such a wrong.

(also: spelling)
(also: attention to detail)
(also: grammar nazi)
(also: sin)
(also: penance)

(n.) a boss-man or pooh-bah, usually in sinister secret societies or chess clubs

n. One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) job that pays well and requires little to no real work; job held by a person who is too important to work

a movie

"This film is dedicated to the gallant people of Afghanistan."
-the end-

(also: rambo)

a sport involving fighting from Eastern Asia. While sports such as boxing and wrestling do involve fighting, they are not from Eastern Asia, and are thus not classified as martial arts

(n.) the joy that accompanies seeing a rival or enemy suffer; sort of the reverse of an empathetic cringe of embarrassment

Is a breed of human that chooses to identify in society" as people who play video games"