(n.) a real go-getter of a communicable disease

The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1542-1604) third ruler of the mughal empire, which was based in india but whose ruling class was persian. akbar was a fascinating study in contradictions; although illiterate (possibly dyslexic), he was a patron of intellectuals and philosophers. although an accomplished military leader in a land of sectarian conflict, he promoted peace and understanding between his muslim and hindu subjects

under his rule, the mughal empire grew to encompass much of india, and reached a golden age characterized by unimaginable heights of prosperity. then everything just sort of fell apart after he died. ah well.

no, he was not a space squid, and he did not help destroy the death star

(100 BC – 44 BC) Roman ruler who oversaw the demise of the Roman Republic to be replaced with a Roman Emperor. Militarily strengthened the power of Rome.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: julius caesar quotes)

The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending and descending.

(n.) the warehouse in which pee is stored before being, shall we say, shipped out for delivery

(n.) suckers; potential customers

(n.) music for those long-haired snobby elitist artsy-fartsy types; derived from really old stuff

“Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.”
― Victor Hugo

(n.) a terrorist who works with the good guys

(also: terrorist)

ultimate cure for internet boredom and depression epidemic

(n.) the perfect tool for the discriminating lunatic who enjoys swinging something with a bit of heft but just feels a mace or club isn't slicey enough.

Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religion, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.

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We must awake Man's spirit from its sin,
And take some special measure for redeeming it;
Though hard indeed the task to get it in
Among the angels any way but teaming it,
Or purify it otherwise than steaming it.
I'm awkward at Redemption — a beginner:
My method is to crucify the sinner.
—Golgo Brone
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the sneaky place where the truth often hides

(c 563 – 483 BC) Spiritual Teacher and founder of Buddhism.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: buddha quotes)

(n.) a gliding lemur-creature hailing from southeast asia, presumably having emigrated there from some sort of other planet inhabited by nightmares

despite the implication of the name, it is not a hybrid of the colubra and the galago

Pestilent bits of metal suspected of destroying civilization and enlightenment, despite their obvious agency in this incomparable dictionary.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: dictionary)

(n.) a stuck-up self-important upper-class twit who probably had a silver spoon in every orifice since day one and had daddy's money to bail them out of whatever trouble they got themselves into, and who lords their fancy education over working class folk to play at being more sophisticated than they really are.

bitter? oh. a tad.

etymology: the word comes from 'toffee-nose,' an aptly-named medical condition commonly resulting from the disease called syphilis

(n.) an Australian creature similar to a dog; it rejects the human partnership of its domestic cousin in favor of a life of eating babies

Noun /fərˈbōtn,vər-/ French underground film community formed in defiance of German occupation during WW2 declaring their films forbidden under lethal threat. "Verboten films were a death sentence if the dictatorship caught you."