(n.) a really big fat rock that floats around in space, but is stuck orbiting around another bigger and fatter rock.

(also: planet)

(n.) an institution in which groups of people come together in public prayer to recognize their deity

public prayer can also be observed in other places such as a casino, but in a casino the people praying actually mean it

The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with the grin that apes a smile. Being a blind faith, it is inaccessible to the light of disproof — an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.

(n.) small furry critter with a beefsteak tied to its butt and a rather bad case of buck teeth. known for its facility of chewing up trees to make damns.

a method of poverty reduction in which poverty is located and bombed to oblivion

(n.) a north american hybrid between a dog and a hobo.

A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.

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A penny saved is a penny to squander.
A man is known by the company that he organizes.
A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.
A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
Better late than before anybody has invited you.
Example is better than following it.
Half a loaf is better than a whole one if there is much else.
Think twice before you speak to a friend in need.
What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
Least said is soonest disavowed.
He laughs best who laughs least.
Speak of the Devil and he will hear about it.
Of two evils choose to be the least.
Strike while your employer has a big contract.
Where there's a will there's a won't.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the period of time between your birth and your death.

(adj.) occurring in or belonging to the era before the Flood.
a wonderful way to describe a boat that's falling apart.


(also: three men in a boat (to say nothing of the dog))

(also: humans)

A place where you ponder life's philosophical questions becomes a rock star and daydream.

“Because paper has more patience than people. ”
― Anne Frank

(n.) bribery artist

Coofl is a useless website that the founder begging for help. He should find different method and place to promote his website (also: naked tax advice)

Freaky dance moves pulled up by Lil Adam after he was literally brought to life.

WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.

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They took away his vote and gave instead
The right, when he had earned, to eat his bread.
In vain — he clamors for his "boss," pour soul,
To come again and part him from his roll.
—Offenbach Stutz

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) curdled lactate. intended to be eaten.

someone who doesn't believe my accusations of wrongdoing, and thereby sees the wrongdoing as right

(1578 – 3 June 1657) English physician who made contributions to understanding how blood circulated in the body.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: william harvey quotes)

The first letter in every properly constructed alphabet. It is the first natural utterance of the human vocal organs, and is variously sounded, according to the pleasure and convenience of the speaker. In logic, A asserts and B denies. Assertions being proverbially untrue, the presumption would be in favor of B's innocence were it not that denials are notoriously false. In grammar, A is called the indefinite article, probably because, denoting a definite number, it is so obviously a numeral adjective.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)