spooker

the devils dictionary
A writer whose imagination concerns itself with supernatural phenomena, especially the doings of spooks. One of the most illustrious spookers of our time is Mr. William D. Howells, who introduces a well-credentialed reader to as respectable and mannerly a company of spooks as one could wish to meet. To the terror that invests the chairman of a district school board, the Howells ghost adds something of the mystery enveloping a farmer from another township.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

digital watches

douglas adams
Odd little electronic devices worn around the wrist (or other convenient appendage). The apparent function of these instruments, is to determine the time of day, though their actual suitability for this purpose is somewhat questionable.

The problem is that the process of programming one is so insanely complicated and involves so much stress, anxiety and general irritation, by the time you have actually figured out how to set it to, say, 5:42 p.m. you are much more likely to cut off your hands at the wrists and dispose of them, watch and all, than do something so thick-witted as to actually wear it. For this reason most enlightened regions of the Galaxy have given up on the whole business, and they are now extremely hard to come by.

One of the few remaining civilizations still hanging on to this affectation is the planet Earth, whose ape-descended lifeforms still consider the digital a pretty neat idea.

(also: time)



amber heard

frosty458
noun: a lost soul who may or may not be manipulative but is advocating for what one believes is right.
example: i'm sorry for breaking up your marriage, but i was just being an amberheard because i thought he loved me.


verb: to act righteously whether morally right or wrong.
example: ricky was perceived as a compulsive liar but he was just amberhearding because he was raised to believe that's the only way to survive in corporate america.

lemon

rara
Noun /ˈlɛmən/

A fruit that looks innocent enough on the outside, but is often a sour disappointment on the inside. A favorite of used car salesmen and con artists everywhere, it has the power to turn a dream into a nightmare with a single turn of the key.

(also: marriage)

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