(n.) the reason for carrying on with a custom long after you've forgotten the actual good reason

(n.) the foremost of one's enemies, opponents, or adversaries. an archenemy can define one's character as much as a friend or ally can, and in a sense, having one is therefore a necessary step to self-actualization.

famous archenemies include:
united states and soviet union
britain and france
sherlock holmes and professor moriarty
batman and joker
humanity and nature
louis pasteur and antoine béchamp
elvis and robert goulet

and so on

(n.) a pancake covered in square braille indents for people with blind tongues

A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.

(n., of a rise to power) rapid and momentous. Because of course meteors are known mostly for how they rise

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde
(also: Oscar Wilde quotes)

a prank where you forcibly submerge someone's head into a shallow ceramic pool of rushing water for several seconds

the brighter and happier cousin of finland

(n.) the digital slot machine

(also: gambling)
(also: addiction)

The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only. This important distinction between ubiquity and omnipresence was not clear to the mediæval Church and there was much bloodshed about it. Certain Lutherans, who affirmed the presence everywhere of Christ's body, were known as Ubiquitarians. For this error they were doubtless damned, for Christ's body is present only in the eucharist, though that sacrament may be performed in more than one place simultaneously. In recent times ubiquity has not always been understood — not even by Sir Boyle Roche, for example, who held that a man cannot be in two places at once unless he is a bird.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A computer built by a race of hyperintelligent pan-dimensional beings to calculate once and for all the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything, to which the answer is 42.

This computer was so large that it was frequently mistaken for a planet - especially by the strange ape-like beings who roamed its surface, totally unaware that they were simply part of a gigantic computer program. And this is very odd, because without that fairly simple and obvious piece of knowledge, nothing that ever happened on the Earth could possibly make the slightest bit of sense.

Sadly however, just before the critical moment of readout, the Earth was unexpectedly demolished by the Vogons to make way - so they claimed - for a new hyperspace bypass, and so all hope of discovering a meaning for life was lost for ever.

n. One of Imagination's most precious possessions.

---

The rising People, hot and out of breath,
Roared round the palace: "Liberty or death!"
"If death will do," the King said, "let me reign;
You'll have, I'm sure, no reason to complain."
—Martha Braymance

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the basic human decency afforded by obeying me

(n.) a performer who either highlights the melancholy of life by pretending to be happy, or highlights the joy of life by pretending to be sad and miserable

One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.

---

As the lean leech, its victim found, is pleased
To fix itself upon a part diseased
Till, its black hide distended with bad blood,
It drops to die of surfeit in the mud,
So the base sycophant with joy descries
His neighbor's weak spot and his mouth applies,
Gorges and prospers like the leech, although,
Unlike that reptile, he will not let go.
Gelasma, if it paid you to devote
Your talent to the service of a goat,
Showing by forceful logic that its beard
Is more than Aaron's fit to be revered;
If to the task of honoring its smell
Profit had prompted you, and love as well,
The world would benefit at last by you
And wealthy malefactors weep anew —
Your favor for a moment's space denied
And to the nobler object turned aside.
Is't not enough that thrifty millionaires
Who loot in freight and spoliate in fares,
Or, cursed with consciences that bid them fly
To safer villainies of darker dye,
Forswearing robbery and fain, instead,
To steal (they call it "cornering") our bread
May see you groveling their boots to lick
And begging for the favor of a kick?
Still must you follow to the bitter end
Your sycophantic disposition's trend,
And in your eagerness to please the rich
Hunt hungry sinners to their final ditch?
In Morgan's praise you smite the sounding wire,
And sing hosannas to great Havemeyer!
What's Satan done that him you should eschew?
He too is reeking rich — deducting you.

a region of northern europe consisting of sweden, denmark, and norway.

once the land of vikings, now primarily a source of weird european things

am•bur hurd-ing :/ (adj)

One who lies on, gaslights, verbally & physically abuses their partner/spouse.

also:/
One who commits perjury.

also:/
One who fake cries, forces ugly and “sad” facial expressions, and continuously avoids questions she's being asked by the defense, and answers the questions she hears in her own small peanut brain.

Used in a sentence:/

“Can you believe how hard Ashley is Amber Hearding her husband?!? You can clearly see why Justin had to get away from her!”

“ Stay away from that one, the next thing you know she will be you Amber Hearding you to death!”

Bill Nye Day (n.) a kind of day when you don't feel like doing your job. When you walk into the classroom and the TV is in the room and lights are off, you know it's going to be a bill nye day. Bill Nye is a kid's show scientist, which many only watched in school on these kind of days.

a wonderfully imperfect creation that sinners want to perfect

There are only two tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want, the other is getting it.
(also: life)
(also: getting what you want)