a supposed king of england who supposedly ruled around the time the roman empire had withdrawn from the country in the late fifth century. supposedly.

known for being conceived by 'magical' rape-by-fraud, hanging out with wizards, pulling a sword out of a big rock, conquering a number of european places, being cuckolded by a frenchman, trying to drown hundreds of children, and finally getting killed by the one child he didn't manage to drown

although he probably did not actually exist, he is much better known than a majority of real english historical figures

(n.) a successor to the augurs of ancient rome who would attempt to predict weather trends by reading animal viscera, albeit the augurs were more often accurate

(n.) when you put a lot of snacks on the same plate

Slang for a penis.

(n.) suckers; potential customers

seafaring gentlemen of the nordic persuasion circa the ninth and tenth centuries, who made their living pillaging and raiding and reaving and so on

today remembered either as savage unwashed brutes or as admirable noble savage types (mostly by fans of heavy metal)

A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

(v.) the act of desperately trying to salvage a plan that has gone horribly awry

(n.) bravery; ability to act in the face of fear, pain or grief

among other things this quality is believed to make a king of a slave, induce the flag on the mast to wave, and put the 'ape' in 'apricot'

n. An American sovereign in his probationary state.



(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A person austerely censorious of that which he is unable to do or become. In commerce and finance, a member of the Army of Provision.

The uniform of the poor, serving to distinguish these creatures from their creators.
(also: poor)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication. It is credited by many of the elder zoölogists with a certain vestigial docility acquired in a former state of seclusion, but naturalists of the postsusananthony period, having no knowledge of the seclusion, deny the virtue and declare that such as creation's dawn beheld, it roareth now. The species is the most widely distributed of all beasts of prey, infesting all habitable parts of the globe, from Greenland's spicy mountains to India's moral strand. The popular name (wolf-man) is incorrect, for the creature is of the cat kind. The woman is lithe and graceful in its movements, especially the American variety (felis pugnans), is omnivorous and can be taught not to talk.
—Balthasar Pober
(also: man)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a small mammal seen as uncute because it is small and furry.

(adj.) the golden people who know how to give, how to take, and how to set boundaries -- the people who keep the world flowing (much like a healthy river).
https://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/givers-vs-takers-the-surprising-truth-about-who-gets-ahead/

(also: happy, smart, useful)
(also: reciprocation)
(also: flowing)

an elderly person who does not treat their juniors with deference.

One of the few characters of the Grecian mythology accorded recognition in the Hebrew. (Leviticus, xvii, 7.) The satyr was at first a member of the dissolute community acknowledging a loose allegiance to Dionysus, but underwent many transformations and improvements. Not infrequently he is confounded with the faun, a later and decenter creation of the Romans, who was less like a man and more like a goat.
(also: mythology)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
(also: gentlewomen)

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the roman world was in a mess; the emperor caused no end of stress
then in the year four-forty-one, there came this guy, attila the hun
run away! Here comes attila
flee today! he'll sack your villa
can't you see? he's come to kill ya
swipe your bed, and then your pilla
attila was a nasty king; he and his huns wrecked everything
he lived by arson and the sword, burned down france cuz he got bored
run away! here comes attila
far away! go to manilla
kills more people than godzilla
swipes your sheets and then your pilla
to a wedding attila went, looking sharp like a hunnish gent
made a quick speech, went to bed; very next morning, was found dead
fare thee well, goodbye attila
bury him deep neath the rolling hillas
he wore shorts made of chinchilla
his favorite ice cream was strawberry

noun/bi nɑt əˈfreɪd/

I mean, the Bible. Here we explore the mysteries of the universe, from the creation of the heavens and the earth to the existence of biblically accurate angels.

Now, biblically accurate angels are not your run-of-the-mill winged creatures. They're more like fiery-eyed, sword-wielding badasses who deliver messages of hope and comfort to humanity. And when they say "be not afraid," they mean it - you'd better listen up.

But how do these intimidating beings manage to be so comforting? Well, it's all in their demeanor. You see, biblically accurate angels have been around for thousands of years, and they've had plenty of time to perfect the art of making humans feel at ease.

It's a delicate balance, really. On one hand, you want to inspire awe and reverence in the humans you're talking to. On the other hand, you don't want to scare them half to death. That's where the "be not afraid" comes in - it's a reassurance that everything is going to be okay, even if you're talking to a creature with eyes like fire.

Of course, not everyone is comforted by the presence of an angel. Some people would rather stick their heads in the sand than face the reality of a sword-wielding messenger from on high. But for those who are willing to listen, the words "be not afraid" can be a powerful reminder that there is always hope, even in the darkest of times.

So, if you ever find yourself face to face with a biblically accurate angel, don't panic. Take a deep breath, look them in the eye (if you can), and remember - "be not afraid." It might just be the best advice you'll ever get.