(n.) that friendly 1950's fellow living next to ya in your white picket-fence Canadian suburb.
not to be confused with neighbor.

(also: neighbor)
(also: Canadian)

(n.) the same as pugilism, although "boxing" is more commonly used among those who are not toffs

n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women. As in Rome Christians were thrown to the lions, so centuries earlier in Otumwee, the most ancient and famous city of the world, female heretics were thrown to the mice. Jakak-Zotp, the historian, the only Otumwump whose writings have descended to us, says that these martyrs met their death with little dignity and much exertion. He even attempts to exculpate the mice (such is the malice of bigotry) by declaring that the unfortunate women perished, some from exhaustion, some of broken necks from falling over their own feet and some from lack of restoratives. The (also: mice), he avers, enjoyed the pleasures of the chase with composure. But if "Roman history is nine-tenths lying," we can hardly expect a smaller proportion of that rhetorical figure in the annals of a people capable of so incredible cruelty to lovely woman; for a hard heart has a false tongue.

(also: mice)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a word that exists primarily to help out desperate scrabble players

Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree

(also: everything)

(part of speech) that which hooks up words and phrases and clauses

they're pretty much all like this

A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the United States Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House; in the House of Representatives, of the Speaker and the devil.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

1. A malignant tumour in the arena of human rights activism.
2. A criminal, guilty of perjury, various assaults and charity/tax fraud.
3. A profoundly disturbed person being enabled by her own hangers-on and the media to never address her mental health issues.

(n.) curdled lactate. intended to be eaten.

(n.) the state after having cleared all the muckity muck from the mucky pond -- the doubts, worries, envies, misfortunes. when giving something new a chance becomes possible.

(also: debt jubilee)
(also: phoenix)
(also: newborn)
(also: baby)

people who overthink life

(also: philosophy)
(also: philanthropist)

(1632-1723) Dutch chemist – founder of microbiology.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: antony van leeuwenhoek quotes)

(n.) a professional who pretends to be someone else in order to tell a story.

once regarded as having the same low social status as a prostitute, though this is not the case today as prostitutes are becoming more and more appreciated.

The name for a state within the USA, once known as Massachusetts. But because the capital is so much easier to say, and because no one knows where the hell it is without its capital existing, the name of the state might as well be its capital: Boston.

Example:
Dood1: hey, didn't you say you were going to Massive Two Shits or whatever?

Dood2: what? Oh you mean Boston? Yeah I went, it was filled with cholos from the vineyards.

A mechanical device acting automatically to prevent the fall of an elevator, or cage, in case of an accident to the hoisting apparatus.
(also: apparatus)
(also: elevator)

---

Once I seen a human ruin
In an elevator-well,
And his members was bestrewin'
All the place where he had fell.

And I says, apostrophisin'
That uncommon woful wreck:
"Your position's so surprisin'
That I tremble for your neck!"

Then that ruin, smilin' sadly
And impressive, up and spoke:
"Well, I wouldn't tremble badly,
For it's been a fortnight broke."

Then, for further comprehension
Of his attitude, he begs
I will focus my attention
On his various arms and legs —

How they all are contumacious;
Where they each, respective, lie;
How one trotter proves ungracious,
T'other one an alibi.

These particulars is mentioned
For to show his dismal state,
Which I wasn't first intentioned
To specifical relate.

None is worser to be dreaded
That I ever have heard tell
Than the gent's who there was spreaded
In that elevator-well.

Now this tale is allegoric —
It is figurative all,
For the well is metaphoric
And the feller didn't fall.

I opine it isn't moral
For a writer-man to cheat,
And despise to wear a laurel
As was gotten by deceit.

For 'tis Politics intended
By the elevator, mind,
It will boost a person splendid
If his talent is the kind.

Col. Bryan had the talent
(For the busted man is him)
And it shot him up right gallant
Till his head begun to swim.

Then the rope it broke above him
And he painful come to earth
Where there's nobody to love him
For his detrimented worth.

Though he's livin' none would know him,
Or at leastwise not as such.
Moral of this woful poem:
Frequent oil your safety-clutch.
—Porfer Poog

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the sincerest form of flattery which mediocrity can pay to greatness. also the insincerest form of crab meat.

(also: crab)

A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.

---

His understanding was so keen
That all things which he'd felt, heard, seen,
He could interpret without fail
If he was in or out of jail.
He wrote at Inspiration's call
Deep disquisitions on them all,
Then, pent at last in an asylum,
Performed the service to compile 'em.
So great a writer, all men swore,
They never had not read before.
—Jorrock Wormley
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A person austerely censorious of that which he is unable to do or become. In commerce and finance, a member of the Army of Provision.

(n.) a north american hybrid between a dog and a hobo.