a monster who does not belong in this world, who steals men's souls and makes them his slaves. mankind ill needs a savior such as him

... you see what i did there? huh? huh?

(n.) a stabbier form of tooth

a game in which people attempt to predict certain things that will happen, forfeiting money or possessions if they are incorrect

the more upscale version of gambling is the stock market

condition that exists when your baby does not hurt you no more. that which you cannot hurry and does not come easy; a game of give and take. can be experienced as a funny feeling that winds you up inside every time we touch. to be honest i don't know what love is... but i want you to show me.

Flat earth is the truth that the government was trying to hide for years now,and any evidence that say that ear5h is not flat is a lie frop nasa,and 100% that isn't just a way for some people to feel that they are smart.

A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
(also: governing people)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

In the multiplex theism of certain Christian churches, three entirely distinct deities consistent with only one. Subordinate deities of the polytheistic faith, such as devils and angels, are not dowered with the power of combination, and must urge individually their claims to adoration and propitiation. The Trinity is one of the most sublime mysteries of our holy religion. In rejecting it because it is incomprehensible, Unitarians betray their inadequate sense of theological fundamentals. In religion we believe only what we do not understand, except in the instance of an intelligible doctrine that contradicts an incomprehensible one. In that case we believe the former as a part of the latter.
(also: god)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) actually more of a dish, not a cup or goblet, despite what others would have you believe. also possibly a metaphor for something abstruse and religious

In an English court a man named Home was tried for slander in having accused his neighbor of murder. His exact words were: "Sir Thomas Holt hath taken a cleaver and stricken his cook upon the head, so that one side of the head fell upon one shoulder and the other side upon the other shoulder." The defendant was acquitted by instruction of the court, the learned judges holding that the words did not charge murder, for they did not affirm the death of the cook, that being only an inference.
(also: technically)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The modern-day equivalent of a digital witch hunt fueled by outrage and virtue signaling.

(n.) one who can of course quit anytime they want but they're still working out how to want.

(also: drunk)

skin seen as the canvas for artworks in the medium of ink

(also: humans)

n. A place of deposit in which the feeble and incompetent are left, where they have a good time reading our esteemed contemporaries.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

adj. Pertaining to a kind of marriage between a man of exalted rank and a woman of low degree by which the wife gets nothing but a husband, and not much of a husband. From Morgan (J. P.), a king of finance, by a transaction with whom nobody gets anything at all.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. A small metal disk given as a reward for virtues, attainments or services more or less authentic.
It is related of Bismarck, who had been awarded a medal for gallantly rescuing a drowning person, that, being asked the meaning of the medal, he replied: "I save lives sometimes." And sometimes he didn't.
(also: war)
(also: sports)
(also: the devils dictionary)

Discipline, discipline; obedience, obedience; slavery and ignorance, pregnant with authority. A bourgeois body grotesquely fattened by a vulgar christian creature. A medley of fetishism, sectarianism and cowardice.

a holiday when you try to find a date for the day, or a 'valentine', and if you can't find one, you lose

A conspiracy between speech and action to cheat the understanding. A tyranny tempered by stenography.

Common; customary. In the Southwestern States of the Union this word is pronounced ornery and means ugly — a striking testimony to the prevalence of the disagreeable.