I do understand where you're coming from (esp re: being uncomfortable with normal/ tradition), but well, we disagree here in terms of what original means.. but that's ok, disagreement can give rise to clarity.

A tide in the affairs of an army swayed by the attraction of loot.
(also: the devils dictionary)

Skilled in the art and practice of dissimulation.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) red pulsing thing in the chests of most animals, which keeps the blood flowing to the important bits. one of the more vocal organs, which strongly complains in times of great emotional turmoil or physical exercise

n. One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.

(also: the devil's dictionary)

adj. Not understood.
(also: the devils dictionary)

(n.) a celebrated political figure, generally more respected than a typical politician by virtue of being dead

"Poetry, my dear friend, is the highest form of Logopoeia. It's where language goes to play where words become the wings of imagination and take you soaring to the stars. Poetry is a dance, a song and a symphony all in one, a celebration of the power of words to evoke emotions, create pictures and transport the mind.

In the multiplex theism of certain Christian churches, three entirely distinct deities consistent with only one. Subordinate deities of the polytheistic faith, such as devils and angels, are not dowered with the power of combination, and must urge individually their claims to adoration and propitiation. The Trinity is one of the most sublime mysteries of our holy religion. In rejecting it because it is incomprehensible, Unitarians betray their inadequate sense of theological fundamentals. In religion we believe only what we do not understand, except in the instance of an intelligible doctrine that contradicts an incomprehensible one. In that case we believe the former as a part of the latter.
(also: god)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Nobody's sure what art is exactly, but they know what they like

n. The period of a thousand years when the lid is to be screwed down, with all reformers on the under side.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

The act of reminding people of the horrible things they already knew, allowing you slight relief from the guilt of doing nothing about it yourself.

A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
(also: period)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A search engine that uses a trojan to use my processor illegally. When you search about "the answer of life universe and everything" a calculator appears and display and answer as 42.
Everybody knows that it is copyrighted content of me.
(also: great question of life the universe and everything)
(also: copyrights)
(also: 42)

(n.) an unexpectedly successful colony of the americas originally established as a free range insane asylum. at one point was marketed as a luxury vacation destination until the tourism board realized they weren't fooling anyone.

(also: toxic)

a country spread across five islands in the easternmost part of east asia.

for some reason, frequently confused with china by outsiders, so let's get this out of the way:

china things: great walls. silken pajamas. jackie chan. mao zedong. confucius. crazy-ass operas.

japan things: ninja. samurai. sumo wrestlers. anime. cherry blossoms. mount fuji. karaoke.

things both places have: noodles. tea. buddhism. urban sprawl.

The immortal parts of dead Greeks and Romans. They were in a state of dull discomfort until the bodies from which they had exhaled were buried and burned; and they seem not to have been particularly happy afterward.
(also: the devils dictionary)

(v.) allowing someone to do something, when you have the authority to make such a decision.
(n.) the document proving you've got some set of permissions. generally has your name, photo, and some other important information. carry it with you, or else you're a goner! (technically spelled licence everywhere except the states but idkk man, https://www.grammarly.com/blog/licence-license/)

(n.) the keratinous digital pads on the plantar surface of a cat's foot, so designated due to their ovular shape and squishy texture

how sickeningly saccharine