(also: transylvania twist)

(5 – AD 67) – Christian missionary and one of the main writers of the New Testament.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: st. paul quotes)

(n.) something untrue that people will nonetheless believe in, and thus the exact reverse of scientific research

A bird whose thievish disposition suggested to some one that it might be taught to talk.

(n.) suckers; potential customers

(n.) the academic discipline of measuring time, usually making clocks.

... you thought it was something else. Admit it.

an aphrodisiac given to someone else to override their romantic will

n. An American sovereign in his probationary state.



(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

Anyone not from 'round these parts. And we don't like those types 'round here.

noun: to yearn for a result that may or may not benefit an individual's situation due to overlooking consequences and only considering the rewards

(n.) not quite a friend and not quite an enemy; someone with whom one is in regular and direct competition, but not enough to want them dead.

used to indicate that a statement is not true in any practical way, thus having the sole purpose of making the stater feel smart

an argument you refute in effigy

“You never fail until you stop trying.”
― Albert Einstein
(also: Albert Einstein)

The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. An herb of the genus Lactuca, "Wherewith," says that pious gastronome, Hengist Pelly, "God has been pleased to reward the good and punish the wicked. For by his inner light the righteous man has discerned a manner of compounding for it a dressing to the appetency whereof a multitude of gustible condiments conspire, being reconciled and ameliorated with profusion of oil, the entire comestible making glad the heart of the godly and causing his face to shine. But the person of spiritual unworth is successfully tempted of the Adversary to eat of lettuce with destitution of oil, mustard, egg, salt and garlic, and with a rascal bath of vinegar polluted with sugar. Wherefore the person of spiritual unworth suffers an intestinal pang of strange complexity and raises the song."

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

has toe beans
(also: toe beans)

A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.

A form of incantation to conjure up a hope that is to be exorcised later by inattention.

making the beast with two backs when you've only got the one back

there are two kinds of people in the world, those who just got done masturbating and those who are still doing it right now