Originally the ninth month of the year until some Roman jerk decided he wanted to destroy all known naming conventions and slide two extra months in the world's biggest and most successful hold my beer.

(also: Hold My Beer)

A mechanical apparatus designed to do the work of a man- from The encyclopedia galactica.

"Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With."- from the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.

A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

(n.) a vehicle that consists of one or more carriages that are propelled down a railway track. neither as loving as the o'jays would have you believe nor as sentient as thomas the tank engine would

(noun) A majestic era of cultural rebirth, where art, intellect, and creativity danced the tango in ornate ballrooms. A time when great minds, bedecked in velvet and quills, waltzed through the corridors of history, leaving behind a tapestry of stunning masterpieces, towering intellect, and questionable fashion choices. A period that birthed both enlightened ideas and questionable hairdos, reminding us that even the greatest minds are not immune to the occasional style blunder.


Teaching Tip: Bring the Renaissance to life by incorporating artistic activities like painting or sculpting that allow students to experience the creativity and innovation of the time period firsthand. Additionally, consider using primary sources, such as artwork or literature, to spark discussions about the cultural, intellectual, and societal changes during the Renaissance.

(n.) a word used in wishful thinking to describe a condition of increased order and technological progress with time.

the supposed end result of extropy will be the achievement of some kind of technological singularity. fingers crossed, i suppose.

n. a product made for picking ears

The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.

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But yesterday I should have thought me blest
To stand high-pinnacled upon the peak
Of middle life and look adown the bleak
And unfamiliar foreslope to the West,
Where solemn shadows all the land invest
And stilly voices, half-remembered, speak
Unfinished prophecy, and witch-fires freak
The haunted twilight of the Dark of Rest.
Yea, yesterday my soul was all aflame
To stay the shadow on the dial's face
At manhood's noonmark! Now, in God His name
I chide aloud the little interspace
Disparting me from Certitude, and fain
Would know the dream and vision ne'er again.
—Baruch Arnegriff

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It is said that in his last illness the poet Arnegriff was attended at different times by seven doctors.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.

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They took away his vote and gave instead
The right, when he had earned, to eat his bread.
In vain — he clamors for his "boss," pour soul,
To come again and part him from his roll.
—Offenbach Stutz

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(1863 – 1947) Owner of Ford Motor Company. Revolutionised mass-production techniques
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: henry ford quotes)

An animal (Porcus omnivorus) closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(600 – 530 BC) Founder of the Achaemenid Empire, the first Persian Empire. Relatively enlightened ruler.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: cyrus the great quotes)

(n.) the shorthand way of saying television.

that we even need a shorthand version of such a trivial word is indicative of how this invention has damaged us as a society.

n. excuse to take a break

interestingly at all developing countries


(also: developing countries which never developing)

(n.) a man who pays unusual and excessive attention to the quality and appearance of the clothing he wears; a man fixated on style and fashion.

often mocked, but sometimes also feared. a man in tights will nearly always fall into this category.

The natural rock upon which is reared the Temple of Law.
(also: humans)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. Specifically, in American history, the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch. Revolutions are usually accompanied by a considerable effusion of blood, but are accounted worth it — this appraisement being made by beneficiaries whose blood had not the mischance to be shed. The French revolution is of incalculable value to the Socialist of to-day; when he pulls the string actuating its bones its gestures are inexpressibly terrifying to gory tyrants suspected of fomenting law and order.
(also: governing people)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest. Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardiest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians.
(also: dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a type of graph that I haven't seen since I learned about it in grade school, and I look at a lot of graphs these days.