quorum

the devils dictionary
A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the United States Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House; in the House of Representatives, of the Speaker and the devil.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

mail

nightowl
"Mail" (also know as "post") is a purely human and entirely abstract concept developed in most civilised (and uncivilised) civilisations. It refers to the means by which information is transferred from deliverer to reciever, usually by that of an archaic paper-based medium, or its electronical equivalent.

The concept of mail was briefly considered on the planet Joquin Deux, but was quickly disregarded as little more than a modern fad. The way in which the Joquinths would deliver their mail was via psychic projection; shooting the information across the planet as wavelengths, to be sent directly into the head of the intended recipient. Some complaint ensued, however, as the physical sensation of info-waves penetrating the skull was found to resemble that of a gunshot; the bi-weekly delivery of 'How To Get Ahead in Marvolian Advertising' being frequently mistaken for assassination attempts. Upon receiving your mail on Joquin Deux, always be sure to check for an exit wound.

Ex. "Ah, I see the mail has been delivered. Not, in fact, my soul. That was a close one."

poverty

the devils dictionary
A file provided for the teeth of the rats of reform. The number of plans for its abolition equals that of the reformers who suffer from it, plus that of the philosophers who know nothing about it. Its victims are distinguished by possession of all the virtues and by their faith in leaders seeking to conduct them into a prosperity where they believe these to be unknown.
(also: leaving the planet)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

man

the devils dictionary
An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

When the world was young and Man was new,
And everything was pleasant,
Distinctions Nature never drew
'Mongst kings and priest and peasant.
We're not that way at present,
Save here in this Republic, where
We have that old régime,
For all are kings, however bare
Their backs, howe'er extreme
Their hunger. And, indeed, each has a voice
To accept the tyrant of his party's choice.

A citizen who would not vote,
And, therefore, was detested,
Was one day with a tarry coat
(With feathers backed and breasted)
By patriots invested.
"It is your duty," cried the crowd,
"Your ballot true to cast
For the man o' your choice." He humbly bowed,
And explained his wicked past:
"That's what I very gladly would have done,
Dear patriots, but he has never run."
—Apperton Doke

(also: the devils dictionary)

chess

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a board game derived from earlier antecedents in Persia or China, in which players must use lesser pieces to successfully capture the enemy king

considered a good way to teach tactical thinking, presumably for some upcoming war where both sides politely take turns, held entirely on a featureless flat plane

dinner

trustycoffeemug
(n.) the evening meal in most cultures, often a social occasion for members of a family to exchange bland pleasantries and cram down the day's anxieties and frustrations

food

trustycoffeemug
(n.) any of a series of organic substances derived from a specific set of carbon monomer bases which living beings assimilate through digestion in order to perpetuate their lives, as though it will fill the holes in their sad little existences

wheat

the devils dictionary
A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can with some difficulty be made, and which is used also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread per capita of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

pretentious

orikami
(adj.) first, you have people creating something, exploring it, shaping it, embracing it. and then, someone comes and declares that it's some rule- and etiquette-bound contest. someone wants to be a middleman and get a cut of the cultural profit (also: cred) for doing not much of anything, by drawing and upholding such lines. keep the highbrow-clean-safe-technical-predictable in, and keep the inspired-shocking-crumbling-developing out. the judgment-perversion sneaks its foothold in, and then some next generation grows up thinking *the lines* are the whole of the importance of the thing!
strange how it comes about, eh?..

not (also: original)
not (also: authentic)
(also: gatekeeping)
(also: middlemen)
(also: social games)
(also: excuses to not live)

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