n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basis of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion — thus:
Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man.

Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; therefore —

Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second.

This may be called the syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

n. An African animal having three horns, two on the head and one on the nape of the neck by which to hang up the carcass after the head has been removed. In those varieties that are not hunted by man, this third horn is imperfectly developed or wholly wanting.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) a large feline predator of south asia that takes a rather odd approach to camouflage but is always dressed in the right colors for halloween parties

some also come in monochrome and tones of gold

a rite in which a newborn baby pledges lifelong belief in Jesus Christ

(n. or v.) the act of destroying or damaging something or someone else for one's own advantage.

something which the beastie boys cannot stand and know you planned

(n.) the stuff that makes a great man or woman.
(v.) "I will my life forward." "I will (to) keep my promises."

(also: willing)
(also: voluntary)
(also: volition)

The quality of seeing a problem and seeing a solution while doing the most horrid things to get what you want

A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

noun: living beings, whether animals or creatures, that provide solace and grievance depending on one's mood.
Example: my dog is an important member of my family.

“Whatever you are, be a good one.”
― Abraham Lincoln
(also: Abraham Lincoln)

n. A person more learned in the languages of others than wise in his own.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A mundane way to pass time. You either love it, hate it or you don't care and do it for the money.

(also: boss)

backed up by a multitude of reasons, not that I'm going to say any

To dine.

---

Hail, Gastronome, Apostle of Excess,
Well skilled to overeat without distress!
Thy great invention, the unfatal feast,
Shows Man's superiority to Beast.
—John Boop

Thing for writing
(also: writing)

Reparation without satisfaction.
Among the Anglo-Saxons a subject conceiving himself wronged by the king was permitted, on proving his injury, to beat a brazen image of the royal offender with a switch that was afterward applied to his own naked back. The latter rite was performed by the public hangman, and it assured moderation in the plaintiff's choice of a switch.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

italian interjection, conveying surprise. similar to "my goodness!"

ex:
"we ran out of pizza rolls!"
"mamma mia!"

The best time to do everything you have planned for today.

(n.) those who inhabit the netherlands. also the same place as holland, just so there's no confusion

in many ways, the luckiest and the dankest people in the world

An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)