(n.) the life of every party, a light source dressed up with an attractive fabric covering. consider adopting a lamp today.
❝are bad❞
A dangerous creature known for preying on his victims at the woods.
“Dance, when you're broken open. Dance, if you've torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you're perfectly free.”
― Rumi
(also: rumi)
― Rumi
(also: rumi)
(adj.) of language; meant to persuade, imply and suggest, for all those times when plainspokenness would be too pussy
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans
(adj.) intractable, incorrigible, and not susceptible to moral persuasion. generally very willfully naughty
n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son of a cavern in Mount Ætna, and I have myself seen a man come out of a wine cellar.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
A curved sword of exceeding keenness, in the conduct of which certain Orientals attain a surprising proficiency, as the incident here related will serve to show. The account is translated from the Japanese by Shusi Itama, a famous writer of the thirteenth century.
When the great Gichi-Kuktai was Mikado he condemned to decapitation Jijiji Ri, a high officer of the Court. Soon after the hour appointed for performance of the rite what was his Majesty's surprise to see calmly approaching the throne the man who should have been at that time ten minutes dead!
"Seventeen hundred impossible dragons!" shouted the enraged monarch. "Did I not sentence you to stand in the market-place and have your head struck off by the public executioner at three o'clock? And is it not now 3:10?"
"Son of a thousand illustrious deities," answered the condemned minister, "all that you say is so true that the truth is a lie in comparison. But your heavenly Majesty's sunny and vitalizing wishes have been pestilently disregarded. With joy I ran and placed my unworthy body in the market-place. The executioner appeared with his bare scimitar, ostentatiously whirled it in air, and then, tapping me lightly upon the neck, strode away, pelted by the populace, with whom I was ever a favorite. I am come to pray for justice upon his own dishonorable and treasonous head."
"To what regiment of executioners does the black-boweled caitiff belong?" asked the Mikado.
"To the gallant Ninety-eight Hundred and Thirty-seventh — I know the man. His name is Sakko-Samshi."
"Let him be brought before me," said the Mikado to an attendant, and a half-hour later the culprit stood in the Presence.
"Thou bastard son of a three-legged hunchback without thumbs!" roared the sovereign — "why didst thou but lightly tap the neck that it should have been thy pleasure to sever?"
"Lord of Cranes and Cherry Blooms," replied the executioner, unmoved, "command him to blow his nose with his fingers."
Being commanded, Jijiji Ri laid hold of his nose and trumpeted like an elephant, all expecting to see the severed head flung violently from him. Nothing occurred: the performance prospered peacefully to the close, without incident.
All eyes were now turned on the executioner, who had grown as white as the snows on the summit of Fujiama. His legs trembled and his breath came in gasps of terror.
"Several kinds of spike-tailed brass lions!" he cried; "I am a ruined and disgraced swordsman! I struck the villain feebly because in flourishing the scimitar I had accidentally passed it through my own neck! Father of the Moon, I resign my office."
So saying, he grasped his top-knot, lifted off his head and advancing to the throne laid it humbly at the Mikado's feet.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
When the great Gichi-Kuktai was Mikado he condemned to decapitation Jijiji Ri, a high officer of the Court. Soon after the hour appointed for performance of the rite what was his Majesty's surprise to see calmly approaching the throne the man who should have been at that time ten minutes dead!
"Seventeen hundred impossible dragons!" shouted the enraged monarch. "Did I not sentence you to stand in the market-place and have your head struck off by the public executioner at three o'clock? And is it not now 3:10?"
"Son of a thousand illustrious deities," answered the condemned minister, "all that you say is so true that the truth is a lie in comparison. But your heavenly Majesty's sunny and vitalizing wishes have been pestilently disregarded. With joy I ran and placed my unworthy body in the market-place. The executioner appeared with his bare scimitar, ostentatiously whirled it in air, and then, tapping me lightly upon the neck, strode away, pelted by the populace, with whom I was ever a favorite. I am come to pray for justice upon his own dishonorable and treasonous head."
"To what regiment of executioners does the black-boweled caitiff belong?" asked the Mikado.
"To the gallant Ninety-eight Hundred and Thirty-seventh — I know the man. His name is Sakko-Samshi."
"Let him be brought before me," said the Mikado to an attendant, and a half-hour later the culprit stood in the Presence.
"Thou bastard son of a three-legged hunchback without thumbs!" roared the sovereign — "why didst thou but lightly tap the neck that it should have been thy pleasure to sever?"
"Lord of Cranes and Cherry Blooms," replied the executioner, unmoved, "command him to blow his nose with his fingers."
Being commanded, Jijiji Ri laid hold of his nose and trumpeted like an elephant, all expecting to see the severed head flung violently from him. Nothing occurred: the performance prospered peacefully to the close, without incident.
All eyes were now turned on the executioner, who had grown as white as the snows on the summit of Fujiama. His legs trembled and his breath came in gasps of terror.
"Several kinds of spike-tailed brass lions!" he cried; "I am a ruined and disgraced swordsman! I struck the villain feebly because in flourishing the scimitar I had accidentally passed it through my own neck! Father of the Moon, I resign my office."
So saying, he grasped his top-knot, lifted off his head and advancing to the throne laid it humbly at the Mikado's feet.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
n. A vitreous plane upon which to display a fleeting show for man's disillusion given.
The King of Manchuria had a magic looking-glass, whereon whoso looked saw, not his own image, but only that of the king. A certain courtier who had long enjoyed the king's favor and was thereby enriched beyond any other subject of the realm, said to the king: "Give me, I pray, thy wonderful mirror, so that when absent out of thine august presence I may yet do homage before thy visible shadow, prostrating myself night and morning in the glory of thy benign countenance, as which nothing has so divine splendor, O Noonday Sun of the Universe!"
Pleased with the speech, the king commanded that the mirror be conveyed to the courtier's palace; but after, having gone thither without apprisal, he found it in an apartment where was naught but idle lumber. And the mirror was dimmed with dust and overlaced with cobwebs. This so angered him that he fisted it hard, shattering the glass, and was sorely hurt. Enraged all the more by this mischance, he commanded that the ungrateful courtier be thrown into prison, and that the glass be repaired and taken back to his own palace; and this was done. But when the king looked again on the mirror he saw not his image as before, but only the figure of a crowned ass, having a bloody bandage on one of its hinder hooves—as the artificers and all who had looked upon it had before discerned but feared to report. Taught wisdom and charity, the king restored his courtier to liberty, had the mirror set into the back of the throne and reigned many years with justice and humility; and one day when he fell asleep in death while on the throne, the whole court saw in the mirror the luminous figure of an angel, which remains to this day.
(also: life lessons from boomers)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
The King of Manchuria had a magic looking-glass, whereon whoso looked saw, not his own image, but only that of the king. A certain courtier who had long enjoyed the king's favor and was thereby enriched beyond any other subject of the realm, said to the king: "Give me, I pray, thy wonderful mirror, so that when absent out of thine august presence I may yet do homage before thy visible shadow, prostrating myself night and morning in the glory of thy benign countenance, as which nothing has so divine splendor, O Noonday Sun of the Universe!"
Pleased with the speech, the king commanded that the mirror be conveyed to the courtier's palace; but after, having gone thither without apprisal, he found it in an apartment where was naught but idle lumber. And the mirror was dimmed with dust and overlaced with cobwebs. This so angered him that he fisted it hard, shattering the glass, and was sorely hurt. Enraged all the more by this mischance, he commanded that the ungrateful courtier be thrown into prison, and that the glass be repaired and taken back to his own palace; and this was done. But when the king looked again on the mirror he saw not his image as before, but only the figure of a crowned ass, having a bloody bandage on one of its hinder hooves—as the artificers and all who had looked upon it had before discerned but feared to report. Taught wisdom and charity, the king restored his courtier to liberty, had the mirror set into the back of the throne and reigned many years with justice and humility; and one day when he fell asleep in death while on the throne, the whole court saw in the mirror the luminous figure of an angel, which remains to this day.
(also: life lessons from boomers)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
Freedom without limits is just a word.
(also: error)
(also: error)
(n.) the extremities on the end of one's hand, usually existing in bunches of four plus an additional one who sort of does his own thing (the thumb). if your brain is working correctly you can make them curl up in order to grab things.
for the obscene hand gesture, see the finger. for the fillets of breaded chicken meat, see chicken finger. for the first really good james bond movie, see goldfinger. for other things called fingers go somewhere else. leave me alone.
for the obscene hand gesture, see the finger. for the fillets of breaded chicken meat, see chicken finger. for the first really good james bond movie, see goldfinger. for other things called fingers go somewhere else. leave me alone.
When people know you are far too clever to give a simple answer but they don't know you are far too lazy to come up with something epic so you land in a neutral answer to confuse the hell out of people.
A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
pizza done in the style of hawaii. putting aside that it was created in canada by a greek guy.
traditionally the toppings placed atop the cheese base will include ham or bacon, and little cubical prisms of pineapple. the blend of sweet and savory is generally regarded as an acquired taste, or, in other words, something you won't like until you've tried it a few times.
like airline food, hawaiian pizza is one of those easy targets for comedy, presumably because it doesn't fight back
traditionally the toppings placed atop the cheese base will include ham or bacon, and little cubical prisms of pineapple. the blend of sweet and savory is generally regarded as an acquired taste, or, in other words, something you won't like until you've tried it a few times.
like airline food, hawaiian pizza is one of those easy targets for comedy, presumably because it doesn't fight back
(n.) the grinning killer of the ocean depths, a squeaking sexual predator, a maritime molester, a blowholed bastard, a swirling nest of aquatic evil
considered one of nature's surprisingly intelligent animals
considered one of nature's surprisingly intelligent animals
sign-up or face the consequences!
“"observers" must obey the call.”
join