(adjective):
A term used liberally by self-important individuals to describe the most mundane of accomplishments, as if they single-handedly discovered a cure for boredom or invented a revolutionary way to tie shoelaces. It's like witnessing someone pat themselves on the back for successfully opening a jar of pickles or managing to walk and chew gum simultaneously. Groundbreaking moments in the realm of exaggeration often involve feats of mind-boggling mediocrity, leaving the rest of us scratching our heads and wondering if we missed the memo on what constitutes actual progress.

(n.) the extremities on the end of one's hand, usually existing in bunches of four plus an additional one who sort of does his own thing (the thumb). if your brain is working correctly you can make them curl up in order to grab things.

for the obscene hand gesture, see the finger. for the fillets of breaded chicken meat, see chicken finger. for the first really good james bond movie, see goldfinger. for other things called fingers go somewhere else. leave me alone.

(n.) 1) a lowly delinquent and a no-goodnik; 2) a variety of music that revels in one's delinquency and no-goodnikness

the devil's dictionary

One of the most plentiful meats around. For some it is a dietary staple. Others a foreign delicacy.

A land rich in history and crabs. It is named after the originally governor's wife, Mary of the Land.

(also: Baltimore)

a week that commemorates the week jesus christ returned to jerusalem, which ended with his betrayal, crucifixion and eventual resurrection. for catholic people this week marks the end of lent. for everyone else, it is simply the week leading up to discount chocolate at the grocery store.

* palm sunday: supposedly represents the day jesus returned to jerusalem
* holy monday: represents the day jesus cursed at a fig tree (or something)
* holy tuesday: represents the day jesus received the vision of his own impending death
* spy wednesday: represents the day judas iscariot arranged for jesus' betrayal. does not involve james bond.
* maundy thursday: no idea what a maundy is, but this supposedly represents the day of the last supper jesus enjoyed with his disciples
* good friday: represents the day of the crucifixion
* black saturday: represents jesus chilling while being dead
* easter

it can be assumed all of these involve some kind of praying or something.

(n.) a term used in physics that describes a condition of microstates not being organized into a coherent macrostate, or in other words a condition of disorder

the second thermodynamic law demands that the universe always gravitate towards more entropy; even the act of painstakingly bringing order a system increases entropy on the microscopic level.

The natural conclusion to these facts is that the universe will eventually reach heat death, in which no energy is left for the universe to continue going. here's hoping.

(n.) when you put a lot of snacks on the same plate

Is the time when you realize that you wasted your entire life,and that you are a horrible person,and the biggest loser in the world,and that no one will remember you after your death and schools will call you the biggest loser in the entire human history and will teach student how not to be like you.

the hindsight-fueled ramblings of older individuals who forget their own past mistakes and offer vague platitudes.

(also: Relationship advice)

“Because paper has more patience than people. ”
― Anne Frank

(n.) the normal, the casual, the common

(n.) a word used in wishful thinking to describe a condition of increased order and technological progress with time.

the supposed end result of extropy will be the achievement of some kind of technological singularity. fingers crossed, i suppose.

(n.) a man who pays unusual and excessive attention to the quality and appearance of the clothing he wears; a man fixated on style and fashion.

often mocked, but sometimes also feared. a man in tights will nearly always fall into this category.

(n.)A mostly empty solar oven with a few dozen people scattered around the edges

A toxic wasteland of self-righteousness, cancel culture, and pseudo-intellectualism.

(n.) what kids/ teenagers call what's simply day-to-day household upkeep. a point of contention and a reason for whining.

(also: maturity)
(also: upkeep)
(also: household)

n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.
(also: the fool)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) the skin of a pig

this entry would have been funnier if you had read ham and pork first. i guess that's your problem.