The quickest way to end an argument.

A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the United States Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House; in the House of Representatives, of the Speaker and the devil.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.
(also: creation of the universe)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

containing an endearingly and oddly concentrated number of bibliophiles & preservers of books (comparitively worldwide): https://thefateofbooks.wordpress.com/2020/11/09/miran-ivan-knez-the-bukvarna-and-the-quest-to-ban-destruction-of-books/

(n.) not quite a friend and not quite an enemy; someone with whom one is in regular and direct competition, but not enough to want them dead.

Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) if a shelf does not hold books or spices, is it a real shelf?

(n.) the process by which a species changes and adapts. on a short term basis the process consists of ensuring that the less helpful members of the population do not breed. it does not always work.

(n.) that friendly 1950's fellow living next to ya in your white picket-fence Canadian suburb.
not to be confused with neighbor.

(also: neighbor)
(also: Canadian)

A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle.
(also: the devils dictionary)

(n.) one who sings. not to be confused with one who singes.

An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication. It is credited by many of the elder zoölogists with a certain vestigial docility acquired in a former state of seclusion, but naturalists of the postsusananthony period, having no knowledge of the seclusion, deny the virtue and declare that such as creation's dawn beheld, it roareth now. The species is the most widely distributed of all beasts of prey, infesting all habitable parts of the globe, from Greenland's spicy mountains to India's moral strand. The popular name (wolf-man) is incorrect, for the creature is of the cat kind. The woman is lithe and graceful in its movements, especially the American variety (felis pugnans), is omnivorous and can be taught not to talk.
—Balthasar Pober
(also: man)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) when you think copyright ain't quite alright..
this tells people they can pass along your work, eg. a helpful program, but only if they don't become middlemen that restrict its access. Copyleft guarantees every user has freedom.

https://www.gnu.org/licenses/copyleft.en.html
https://www.arl.org/copyright-timeline/
https://www.plagiarismtoday.com/2009/04/01/why-copyright-extensions-are-bad-for-artists/
https://www.eff.org/issues/copyright-trolls

(also: copyright)

(phrase) The familiar refrain of educators adept in the art of white lies. A diplomatic declaration bestowed upon students who possess an uncanny ability to hear sound waves while conveniently ignoring their content. Like a selective audio sponge, they master the art of nodding and smiling while mentally vacationing on distant shores. A testament to their imagination and the perpetual optimism of teachers caught in the labyrinth of classroom diplomacy.

(also: Your child is a joy to teach)
(also: Your child is a quick learner)

dying is part of life

Afflicting us with greater or less frequency. That, however, is not the sense in which the word is used in the phrase "occasional verses," which are verses written for an "occasion," such as an anniversary, a celebration or other event. True, they afflict us a little worse than other sorts of verse, but their name has no reference to irregular recurrence.

An adherent without sense.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(noun):
A lovably mischievous creature that serves as the loyal sidekick to an evil mastermind, often seen wearing adorable overalls and speaking in their own unique language that sounds like a mix of gibberish and silliness.


(also: serving as a loyal sidekick)
(also: wearing adorable overalls)
(also: speaking in unique language)
(also: sounding like gibberish and silliness)
(also: being mischievous and lovable)
(also: accompanying an evil mastermind)

(n.) one who feels greater affinity for the clothes not customarily prescribed for those of their gender. famous transvestites include all lumberjacks and j. edgar hoover

A computer built by a race of hyperintelligent pan-dimensional beings to calculate once and for all the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything, to which the answer is 42.

This computer was so large that it was frequently mistaken for a planet - especially by the strange ape-like beings who roamed its surface, totally unaware that they were simply part of a gigantic computer program. And this is very odd, because without that fairly simple and obvious piece of knowledge, nothing that ever happened on the Earth could possibly make the slightest bit of sense.

Sadly however, just before the critical moment of readout, the Earth was unexpectedly demolished by the Vogons to make way - so they claimed - for a new hyperspace bypass, and so all hope of discovering a meaning for life was lost for ever.