(n.) an academic discipline based around finding out what happened back in the past

and, the even more difficult bit, finding out what really happened in the past

A writer whose imagination concerns itself with supernatural phenomena, especially the doings of spooks. One of the most illustrious spookers of our time is Mr. William D. Howells, who introduces a well-credentialed reader to as respectable and mannerly a company of spooks as one could wish to meet. To the terror that invests the chairman of a district school board, the Howells ghost adds something of the mystery enveloping a farmer from another township.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

“When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world.”
― John Muir
(also: tug)

(1931 – ) Leader of Soviet Communist Party who pursued reform – perestroika and glasnost to open Eastern Europe to democracy.
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: mikhail gorbachev quotes)

A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.
All roads, howsoe'er they diverge, lead to Rome,
Whence, thank the good Lord, at least one leads back home.
—Borey the Bald
(also: airbus)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the leader of a nation lead by God

n. An inhabitant of the moon, as distinguished from Lunatic, one whom the moon inhabits. The Lunarians have been described by Lucian, Locke and other observers, but without much agreement. For example, Bragellos avers their anatomical identity with Man, but Professor Newcomb says they are more like the hill tribes of Vermont.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

After years of education they gave you a confy boss chair, but they also make you shame to sit on it.
You have to be in field with workers to whip them.

Definition: I shouldnt look like lazy, athough i look like an idiot on foot.

(Noun) A British actress and model who has somehow managed to stay perpetually stunning, despite the laws of time and gravity. Known for her iconic role as a bikini-wearing seductress in "Austin Powers," she's also an expert in wearing dresses with necklines that go deeper than the Mariana Trench. Some say she's even been spotted in a bikini during winter, unfazed by the cold because her beauty radiates enough heat. Though she may not have discovered the fountain of youth, she's definitely discovered the secret to looking fabulous in your 50s.

(n.) an evasive and ambiguous phrase used in lieu of a direct and to-the-point phrase, for the sake of tact

a quote whose author needn't be MLA-cited

A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.

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A penny saved is a penny to squander.
A man is known by the company that he organizes.
A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.
A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
Better late than before anybody has invited you.
Example is better than following it.
Half a loaf is better than a whole one if there is much else.
Think twice before you speak to a friend in need.
What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
Least said is soonest disavowed.
He laughs best who laughs least.
Speak of the Devil and he will hear about it.
Of two evils choose to be the least.
Strike while your employer has a big contract.
Where there's a will there's a won't.


(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

someone who makes shoes. Was that not obvious? Why did you have to look this up? You're not a bright one, are you?

Evident to one's self and to nobody else.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) Christianity, classic recipe. Distinguished by its use of big elaborately decorated places of worship and tall fancy hats. Originators of the oral sex loophole for preserving virginity.

(n.) an ideal tool for the harvesting of grain, parting souls from the body of the living, or staging a peasant rebellion, consisting of a long handle and a sharp curvaceous blade. once upon a time in russia, partnered with the hammer but they aren't on speaking terms anymore.

The finished product of which we are the raw material. The contents of the Taj Mahal, the Tombeau Napoleon and the Grantarium. Worms'-meat is usually outlasted by the structure that houses it, but "this too must pass away." Probably the silliest work in which a human being can engage is construction of a tomb for himself. The solemn purpose cannot dignify, but only accentuates by contrast the foreknown futility.

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Ambitious fool! so mad to be a show!
How profitless the labor you bestow
Upon a dwelling whose magnificence
The tenant neither can admire nor know.

Build deep, build high, build massive as you can,
The wanton grass-roots will defeat the plan
By shouldering asunder all the stones
In what to you would be a moment's span.

Time to the dead so all unreckoned flies
That when your marble is all dust, arise,
If wakened, stretch your limbs and yawn —
You'll think you scarcely can have closed your eyes.

What though of all man's works your tomb alone
Should stand till Time himself be overthrown?
Would it advantage you to dwell therein
Forever as a stain upon a stone?
—Joel Huck
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest. Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardiest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians.
(also: dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

a pagan holiday ruined by a christian holiday ruined by commercialism

(n.) a swenka horse