confessions

trustycoffeemug

- author -

  1. total entries 608
  2. follower 4
  3. score 41654

face

trustycoffeemug
(n.) bit of flesh stuck to the front of your head. the standard issue face tends to include two eyes, a mouth, and a nose.

one with hidden sinister intentions is said to be two-faced
according to one expert, the world may be seen crashing down all around one's face, unless it's only mesh and lace

(v.) to aim one's face at another's face, for face-to-face combat, or, as some call it, conversation

election

trustycoffeemug
a means of selecting political leaders in which candidates perform for the amusement of the citizenry and attempt to suppress their objectionable characteristics, in exchange for which eligible citizens award them points in the form of little slips of paper with the candidates' names written on them. the points are then tallied to determine the winner and everyone goes home unhappy

elections are generally seen as mercifully less exciting than the previous system of violent uprisings and revolutions

puma

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a large feline from the americas, also called a cougar or a mountain lion. evidently prefers to wear its hair much shorter than the true lions, perhaps indicating that they have embraced the old skinhead look

in actuality pumas are fairly distant cousins to pantherine cats such as lions and tigers (bears, incidentally, are standing well apart from that family cat-tree entirely)

cougar

trustycoffeemug
(n.) another name for puma, which is also commonly called a mountain lion

to be quite honest you should probably stick with using one of those two latter terms, to avoid confusion with... ah... your mom's friend who is very physically affectionate with young men your age.

potato

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a particularly seditious form of vegetable; unlike corn, which is dutifully regimented in rows of stalks, potatoes tend to dwell underground, where they might be up to any kind of subversive activity

still, they can be served a lot of ways and most of them taste pretty good.

kidney

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a pair of organs that are somewhere in the backish region or thereabouts, probably slightly above the buttocks

like a slightly disgusting reservoir, the kidney filters toxins out of the bloodstream and directs them to the bladder so that they may be appropriately vented somewhere discreet like the neighbor's fence

dandy

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a man who pays unusual and excessive attention to the quality and appearance of the clothing he wears; a man fixated on style and fashion.

often mocked, but sometimes also feared. a man in tights will nearly always fall into this category.

cemetery

trustycoffeemug
(n.) an outdoor party venue where attendees generally wear their best clothes; although quiet, they remain very popular. most people will visit at least once a lifetime and even so many are simply dying to get in.

jack-o'-lantern

trustycoffeemug
(n.) a traditional form of halloween decoration consisting of a vegetable that has been mutilated and disemboweled. a candle is then placed inside the hollowed-out specimen so that the baleful light may evoke the visage of a hideous, grinning face, to be presented on one's doorstep on halloween night.

the real horror comes days after that when you have to clean it up.

(also: pumpkin)

pumpkin spice

trustycoffeemug
a flavoring that is nigh omnipresent on food products in the western world between late summer and autumn. presumably there is some deep ritualistic significance behind this custom, though it remains doggedly beyond the understanding of our finest minds

originally used on pumpkins, a variety of pumpkin spiced watermelon
11 /

sign-up or face the consequences!


“"observers" must obey the call.”
join

sign up