although I am unable to rationalize your misfortune, perhaps God, with His infinite intelligence, might be able to rationalize it.

(n.) A concept used by the rich to tell the poor to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps", and "I earned this private island/gold plated yacht/one hundred bedroom mansion!" The dress code is top hat and monocle.

(also: Economy)
(also: Socialism)

(n.) a mythical being that rises from a moldering grave to drain the life blood of unsuspecting prey; probably inspired by earlier tales of landlords or moochers

The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death. Augustine Nicholas relates that a poor peasant who had been accused of sorcery was put to the torture to compel a confession. After enduring a few gentle agonies the suffering simpleton admitted his guilt, but naïvely asked his tormentors if it were not possible to be a sorcerer without knowing it.

(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) person who obsesses over frogs, sweater weather by the neighborhood and catches feelings for all of their friends; (also: me )

a singer (to be precise, both a wailer and a crooner) who enjoyed enormous popularity between the nineteen-fifties and nineteen-seventies, culminating with his going to seed and an ignominious death on the toilet

known for his distinctive voice and sense of style, he has been called the king of rock and roll. although he had a surname (presley), it is rarely necessary to use it, as he is the most famous bearer of the name 'elvis' in history.

these facts, taken into consideration with the hordes of those who seek to impersonate him at las vegas and who insist they have seen him alive and well long after his death, suggest that he is roughly on par with jesus of nazareth in his religious significance

bil·lion·aire CEO lives on em·ploy·ee's sal·a·ry | ˌbilyəˈner ˌsēˈēˈō ˈlivz ɒn ɛmˈplɔɪˌiz ˈsæləri |
noun
a modern-day fairytale in which a billionaire CEO, known for their insatiable greed and exploitation of workers, miraculously sustains their extravagant lifestyle by siphoning off meager salaries from their hardworking employees.

(noun) /fæst fuːd/

A culinary masterpiece crafted with precision and lightning speed, designed to nourish your hunger while simultaneously shortening your lifespan. It's like a magic trick: one moment it's in your hand, the next moment it's clogging your arteries. Bon appétit, and good luck with your future heartburn!

(n.) a big fancy piano sort of thing that you can play. alternatively, a series of meatsacks within your body which are used to play you.

One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travelers in many parts of the world, but by modern in Central Africa only. The Pigmies are so called to distinguish them from the bulkier Caucasians — who are Hogmies.
(also: humans)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the buffone, or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape; for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of the play. The zany was progenitor to the specialist in humor, as we to-day have the unhappiness to know him. In the zany we see an example of creation; in the humorist, of transmission. Another excellent specimen of the modern zany is the curate, who apes the rector, who apes the bishop, who apes the archbishop, who apes the devil.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(also: Alabama)
(also: Alaska)
(also: Arizona)
(also: Arkansas)
(also: California)
(also: Colorado)
(also: Connecticut)
(also: Delaware)
(also: Florida)
(also: Georgia)
(also: Hawaii)
(also: Idaho)
(also: Illinois)
(also: Indiana)
(also: Iowa)
(also: Kansas)
(also: Kentucky)
(also: Louisiana)
(also: Maine)
(also: Maryland)
(also: Massachusetts)
(also: Michigan)
(also: Minnesota)
(also: Mississippi)
(also: Missouri)
(also: Montana)
(also: Nebraska)
(also: Nevada)
(also: New Hampshire)
(also: New Jersey)
(also: New Mexico)
(also: New York)
(also: North Carolina)
(also: North Dakota)
(also: Ohio)
(also: Oklahoma)
(also: Oregon)
(also: Pennsylvania)
(also: Rhode Island)
(also: South Carolina)
(also: South Dakota)
(also: Tennessee)
(also: Texas)
(also: Utah)
(also: Vermont)
(also: Virginia)
(also: Washington)
(also: West Virginia)
(also: Wisconsin)
(also: Wyoming)

When have brevity, mean fast

The spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

the destination

(n.) a ground beef sandwich requiring a special dome-shaped bread packaging.

may also include ingredients like special sauce, lettuce, cheese pickles, onions and sesame seeds. occasionally you get more exotic toppings thrown on as well. but some claim this is just playing silly burgers.

The Period of Possibility, when Archimedes finds a fulcrum, Cassandra has a following and seven cities compete for the honor of endowing a living Homer.[hr
Youth is the true Saturnian Reign, the Golden Age on ea]th again, when figs are grown on thistles, and pigs betailed with whistles and, wearing silken bristles, live ever in clover, and cows fly over, delivering milk at every door, and Justice never is heard to snore, and every assassin is made a ghost and, howling, is cast into Baltimost!
—Polydore Smith
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)

(n.) what some wise-ass came up with when he was asked to design a horseless carriage.

People petting you for no real reason.

a country with a rich history, diverse culture, and complex social issues

(also: country)