(n. or v.) the act of destroying or damaging something or someone else for one's own advantage.
something which the beastie boys cannot stand and know you planned
(v.) Conducting disputes over minor marginal issues, while overlooking more serious ones.
Derived from the scenario of people arguing over what color to paint the bicycle shed while the house is not finished.
(also: pedantry)
(also: law of triviality)
(also: peter's principle)
(also: grammar nazi)
Derived from the scenario of people arguing over what color to paint the bicycle shed while the house is not finished.
(also: pedantry)
(also: law of triviality)
(also: peter's principle)
(also: grammar nazi)
A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
One of the most plentiful meats around. For some it is a dietary staple. Others a foreign delicacy.
containing an endearingly and oddly concentrated number of bibliophiles & preservers of books (comparitively worldwide): https://thefateofbooks.wordpress.com/2020/11/09/miran-ivan-knez-the-bukvarna-and-the-quest-to-ban-destruction-of-books/
(n.) the art of killing important people so as to prevent them from doing important things. assassinations are events of massive historical significance and have caused such tragedies as wars, revolutions, and walter cronkite tearing up during a public news broadcast.
"Mail" (also know as "post") is a purely human and entirely abstract concept developed in most civilised (and uncivilised) civilisations. It refers to the means by which information is transferred from deliverer to reciever, usually by that of an archaic paper-based medium, or its electronical equivalent.
The concept of mail was briefly considered on the planet Joquin Deux, but was quickly disregarded as little more than a modern fad. The way in which the Joquinths would deliver their mail was via psychic projection; shooting the information across the planet as wavelengths, to be sent directly into the head of the intended recipient. Some complaint ensued, however, as the physical sensation of info-waves penetrating the skull was found to resemble that of a gunshot; the bi-weekly delivery of 'How To Get Ahead in Marvolian Advertising' being frequently mistaken for assassination attempts. Upon receiving your mail on Joquin Deux, always be sure to check for an exit wound.
Ex. "Ah, I see the mail has been delivered. Not, in fact, my soul. That was a close one."
The concept of mail was briefly considered on the planet Joquin Deux, but was quickly disregarded as little more than a modern fad. The way in which the Joquinths would deliver their mail was via psychic projection; shooting the information across the planet as wavelengths, to be sent directly into the head of the intended recipient. Some complaint ensued, however, as the physical sensation of info-waves penetrating the skull was found to resemble that of a gunshot; the bi-weekly delivery of 'How To Get Ahead in Marvolian Advertising' being frequently mistaken for assassination attempts. Upon receiving your mail on Joquin Deux, always be sure to check for an exit wound.
Ex. "Ah, I see the mail has been delivered. Not, in fact, my soul. That was a close one."
A wolf that was once, or is sometimes, a man. All werewolves are of evil disposition, having assumed a bestial form to gratify a bestial appetite, but some, transformed by sorcery, are as humane as is consistent with an acquired taste for human flesh.
Some Bavarian peasants having caught a wolf one evening, tied it to a post by the tail and went to bed. The next morning nothing was there! Greatly perplexed, they consulted the local priest, who told them that their captive was undoubtedly a werewolf and had resumed its human form during the night. "The next time that you take a wolf," the good man said, "see that you chain it by the leg, and in the morning you will find a Lutheran."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
Some Bavarian peasants having caught a wolf one evening, tied it to a post by the tail and went to bed. The next morning nothing was there! Greatly perplexed, they consulted the local priest, who told them that their captive was undoubtedly a werewolf and had resumed its human form during the night. "The next time that you take a wolf," the good man said, "see that you chain it by the leg, and in the morning you will find a Lutheran."
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
(also: cats)
(also: cats)
Definition in theory: A cooperative roleplaying game where the players interact with the world and characters of the Dungeon Master's creation, and roll dice to determine the success or failure of their outcomes.
Definition in reality: An absolutely chaotic choose-own-adventure where the players get into every shenanigan possible, the DM constantly weighing their questions of “can I do this random bullshit?” against the rules, story, and overall balance of the game, and an absolute blast of a game that leaves everyone involved excited for next session.
“I heard you're playing Dungeons and Dragons, Jimmy! Haha, you're such a nerd!”
“We managed to con an evil wizard out of some very powerful items by wining a rap battle. He got mad and tried to kill us. We put him in a magical box with a bunch of huge, angry hamsters and watched then fight to the death. If that makes me a nerd, Carl, then I'll happily accept the title.”
“...soooo, that actually sounds kinda fun. When's your next session, and can I play too?”
Definition in reality: An absolutely chaotic choose-own-adventure where the players get into every shenanigan possible, the DM constantly weighing their questions of “can I do this random bullshit?” against the rules, story, and overall balance of the game, and an absolute blast of a game that leaves everyone involved excited for next session.
“I heard you're playing Dungeons and Dragons, Jimmy! Haha, you're such a nerd!”
“We managed to con an evil wizard out of some very powerful items by wining a rap battle. He got mad and tried to kill us. We put him in a magical box with a bunch of huge, angry hamsters and watched then fight to the death. If that makes me a nerd, Carl, then I'll happily accept the title.”
“...soooo, that actually sounds kinda fun. When's your next session, and can I play too?”
One forgotten of the gods and living to a great age. History is abundantly supplied with examples, from Methuselah to Old Parr, but some notable instances of longevity are less well known. A Calabrian peasant named Coloni, born in 1753, lived so long that he had what he considered a glimpse of the dawn of universal peace. Scanavius relates that he knew an archbishop who was so old that he could remember a time when he did not deserve hanging. In 1566 a linen draper of Bristol, England, declared that he had lived five hundred years, and that in all that time he had never told a lie. There are instances of longevity (macrobiosis) in our own country. Senator Chauncey Depew is old enough to know better. The editor of The American, a newspaper in New York City, has a memory that goes back to the time when he was a rascal, but not to the fact. The President of the United States was born so long ago that many of the friends of his youth have risen to high political and military preferment without the assistance of personal merit. The verses following were written by a macrobian:
When I was young the world was fair
And amiable and sunny.
A brightness was in all the air,
In all the waters, honey.
The jokes were fine and funny,
The statesmen honest in their views,
And in their lives, as well,
And when you heard a bit of news
'Twas true enough to tell.
Men were not ranting, shouting, reeking,
Nor women "generally speaking."
The Summer then was long indeed:
It lasted one whole season!
The sparkling Winter gave no heed
When ordered by Unreason
To bring the early peas on.
Now, where the dickens is the sense
In calling that a year
Which does no more than just commence
Before the end is near?
When I was young the year extended
From month to month until it ended.
I know not why the world has changed
To something dark and dreary,
And everything is now arranged
To make a fellow weary.
The Weather Man — I fear he
Has much to do with it, for, sure,
The air is not the same:
It chokes you when it is impure,
When pure it makes you lame.
With windows closed you are asthmatic;
Open, neuralgic or sciatic.
Well, I suppose this new régime
Of dun degeneration
Seems eviler than it would seem
To a better observation,
And has for compensation
Some blessings in a deep disguise
Which mortal sight has failed
To pierce, although to angels' eyes
They're visibly unveiled.
If Age is such a boon, good land!
He's costumed by a master hand!
—Venable Strigg
When I was young the world was fair
And amiable and sunny.
A brightness was in all the air,
In all the waters, honey.
The jokes were fine and funny,
The statesmen honest in their views,
And in their lives, as well,
And when you heard a bit of news
'Twas true enough to tell.
Men were not ranting, shouting, reeking,
Nor women "generally speaking."
The Summer then was long indeed:
It lasted one whole season!
The sparkling Winter gave no heed
When ordered by Unreason
To bring the early peas on.
Now, where the dickens is the sense
In calling that a year
Which does no more than just commence
Before the end is near?
When I was young the year extended
From month to month until it ended.
I know not why the world has changed
To something dark and dreary,
And everything is now arranged
To make a fellow weary.
The Weather Man — I fear he
Has much to do with it, for, sure,
The air is not the same:
It chokes you when it is impure,
When pure it makes you lame.
With windows closed you are asthmatic;
Open, neuralgic or sciatic.
Well, I suppose this new régime
Of dun degeneration
Seems eviler than it would seem
To a better observation,
And has for compensation
Some blessings in a deep disguise
Which mortal sight has failed
To pierce, although to angels' eyes
They're visibly unveiled.
If Age is such a boon, good land!
He's costumed by a master hand!
—Venable Strigg
(n.) the earliest iteration of the popular 90's toy Etch-A-Sketch
Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
An inhabitant of Magdala. Popularly, a woman found out. This definition of the word has the authority of ignorance, Mary of Magdala being another person than the penitent woman mentioned by St. Luke. It has also the official sanction of the governments of Great Britain and the United States. In England the word is pronounced Maudlin, whence maudlin, adjective, unpleasantly sentimental. With their Maudlin for Magdalene, and their Bedlam for Bethlehem, the English may justly boast themselves the greatest of revisers.
An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
Cold pie was highly esteemed by the remains.
—The Rev. Dr. Mucker, in a funeral sermon over a British nobleman
Cold pie is a detestable
American comestible.
That's why I'm done — or undone —
So far from that dear London.
—From the Headstone of a British Nobleman, in Kalamazoo
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
Cold pie was highly esteemed by the remains.
—The Rev. Dr. Mucker, in a funeral sermon over a British nobleman
Cold pie is a detestable
American comestible.
That's why I'm done — or undone —
So far from that dear London.
—From the Headstone of a British Nobleman, in Kalamazoo
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(noun):
The mind's ability to take a step back and observe itself, resulting in a profound realization that you are, in fact, stuck inside your own head. It's like discovering an inner narrator who constantly comments on your thoughts, actions, and embarrassing moments.
(also: Realizing you're stuck)
The mind's ability to take a step back and observe itself, resulting in a profound realization that you are, in fact, stuck inside your own head. It's like discovering an inner narrator who constantly comments on your thoughts, actions, and embarrassing moments.
(also: Realizing you're stuck)
(c. 325 – 265 BC) – Greek mathematician
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: euclid quotes)
(also: 100 most influential people in the world)
(also: euclid quotes)
One who holds the conviction that the governing authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
(also: The Devil's Dictionary)
sign-up or face the consequences!
“"observers" must obey the call.”
join