confessions

mirat

- author -

  1. total entries 174
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  3. score 8428

microwave

mirat
(noun):
The enchanted box of instantaneous satisfaction, capable of transforming frozen bricks into lava-like meals in a matter of seconds. It's like having a genie in your kitchen, granting your wishes for warm food with a gentle hum and a magical ping. The microwave holds the power to turn a hardened slice of lasagna into a steamy surprise or transform a humble bag of popcorn into a popcorn apocalypse worthy of a blockbuster movie. But beware its mischievous nature, for it can heat the depths of Mount Doom while leaving the surface as icy as a penguin's gaze. Handle with care and embrace the hilarious dance of culinary unpredictability.

chaos

mirat
(noun):
The unruly circus director of the universe, who throws confetti made of unexpected plot twists and juggles flaming bowling pins of absurdity. It's a relentless prankster, pulling the rug of predictability from beneath our feet and replacing it with a whoopee cushion. Chaos thrives on turning meticulously planned situations into slapstick comedy gold, leaving us bewildered, bemused, and occasionally in need of a change of pants. Like a stand-up comedian with a fondness for banana peels, chaos keeps life interesting, reminding us to embrace the unpredictable and find humor in the delightful mess it creates.

steroid

mirat
A magical potion that transforms your physique from flimsy noodle to swole bro in a matter of gym sessions. It's like hiring a construction crew to build muscles while you kick back and watch reruns of '80s action movies. Side effects may include uncontrollable flexing, a sudden desire to punch walls, and a newfound ability to pop open pickle jars with your biceps. Remember, real gains come from hard work and protein, not from attempting to turn into a human Hulk with a questionable wardrobe of tank tops.

borderlands

mirat
(noun):
A virtual amusement park on steroids, where players don their pixelated party hats and embark on a rollercoaster ride of carnage and comedy. It's a wacky realm where gravity is optional, guns have a twisted sense of humor, and bandits are oddly endearing in their murderous pursuits. Prepare for a wild adventure filled with explosive mishaps, loot-hoarding mania, and dialogue that's as sharp as a cactus needle. In Borderlands, sanity is an optional extra, and the only rule is to embrace the chaos with a maniacal grin.



(also: game)

game

mirat
(noun):
A whimsical diversion from the serious business of life, where rules are meant to be bent, strategies are devised on the fly, and a healthy dose of luck can make or break one's aspirations of victory. It's a playground for the imagination, where players become heroes, villains, or sheepish pawns in an unpredictable dance of competition. Whether it's a nail-biting battle of wits or a hilariously chaotic romp, games offer a temporary escape, a chance to laugh, and a reminder that sometimes the journey matters more than the destination.


(also: game of chance)

hungry hungry hippo

mirat
(noun):
An intense feeding frenzy disguised as a children's game, where ravenous hippos with bottomless appetites go head-to-head in a desperate quest for marble munchies. It's a wild spectacle of flailing hippo heads and uncoordinated chomping, as if someone unleashed a zoo in a candy store after a month of fasting. The chaos is both hilarious and strangely reminiscent of a competitive eating contest for hippos with questionable table manners.

ordinary people

mirat
(noun):
The magnificent ensemble cast of life's sitcom, featuring an assortment of charmingly clueless characters who somehow manage to trip over their own shoelaces while standing still. Armed with a knack for turning the simplest tasks into epic adventures, they are the heroes of relatable mishaps and accidental comedy gold. With their unruly hair, mismatched socks, and an uncanny ability to find trouble in the most mundane situations, they keep the world entertained, one hilarious mishap at a time.


people

parade

mirat
(noun):
A riotous commotion of spirited characters parading through the streets, embracing the perfect opportunity to showcase their questionable fashion choices and inexplicable talents. It's a carnivalesque extravaganza where clashing colors, sequins, and oversized props reign supreme, reminding us that the world desperately needs more glitter and silliness. Approach with caution: spontaneous dance-offs and impromptu kazoo concerts may break out at any moment, leaving unsuspecting bystanders both amused and thoroughly perplexed.

pretending

mirat
(verb):
The artful skill of transforming oneself into a human chameleon, capable of assuming various personas, accents, and expertise without the need for any formal training or qualifications. Often employed to impress others, avoid awkward conversations, or simply indulge in playful deception

reality show

mirat
(noun):
A mesmerizing parade of ordinary people pretending to be extraordinary, delighting audiences with their uncanny ability to turn mundane tasks into grandiose spectacles. Witness the remarkable journey of individuals willing to trade privacy for a chance to become overnight sensations, all while proving that unscripted chaos can be just as entertaining as scripted chaos. It's like watching a flock of flamingos attempting ballet on a slippery banana peel - absurdly captivating and oddly hilarious.



(also: ordinary people)

owning a book you haven't read yet

mirat
(phrase):
A literary investment strategy that combines the excitement of treasure hunting with the comfort of bookshelves. It is the audacious act of acquiring a book without immediate intention to read, creating a mini-library of potential escapes. A source of both guilt and aspiration, this practice embraces the belief that true wealth lies not in riches, but in an ever-expanding collection of unread tales.

victim blaming

mirat
(noun):
The art of playing an elaborate blame game where the blame-o-meter needle conveniently points towards the victim, while the actual responsible parties hide behind their invisibility cloaks. It's like blaming a goldfish for swimming in a shark tank without offering swimming lessons or a suitable escape plan.


(also: responsibility)

smurf

mirat
(Noun) : a small, blue, fictional creature that has somehow managed to take over the world. With their high-pitched voices and cheery attitudes, smurfs have infiltrated everything from TV shows to fast food commercials. They're also known for their habit of replacing normal words with the word "smurf", which can be confusing and annoying to anyone who isn't fluent in smurf-speak. But hey, at least they're not as creepy as those darn Teletubbies.

girl

mirat
(Noun) The half of the population that men can't figure out. The mysterious creatures that can go from crying to laughing in a matter of seconds. They love drama, pumpkin spice lattes, and taking pictures of their food. If you're ever stuck in a conversation with a girl, just nod and smile, and maybe throw in a compliment about her eyebrows. Just don't ask about her mood ring, unless you want a five-hour explanation.

(also: woman)

emilia clarke

mirat
(Noun) the queen of dragons and eyebrows. Her talent for commanding armies and delivering epic speeches is only matched by her ability to make us all feel bad about our own eyebrow game. And let's not forget her impressive resume of on-screen deaths. So if you ever find yourself in a room with Emilia Clarke, just remember to bow down to the rightful queen of Westeros.

typewriter

mirat
(Noun) The original keyboard with no backspace, and a one-of-a-kind sound that makes you feel like you're working in a construction zone. The typewriter: because why use a computer when you can spend three hours typing one page and feel like Hemingway's lesser-known cousin? And don't forget, nothing screams "I'm a writer" more than the constant clanging of keys.


(also: Ernest Hemingway)

(also: headache)

ernest hemingway

mirat
(Noun) the manliest man to ever wield a pen. His writing was as simple as his wardrobe, but his ego was as big as his safari trophies. If you want to write like Papa, you'll need a beard, a bullfighting hobby, and a lifetime supply of whiskey.

winona ryder

mirat
(noun): A Hollywood actress famous for her roles in cult films and for stealing the occasional item or two. Whether she's playing the misunderstood goth girl or the girl next door, Winona always brings her signature mix of intensity and charm. She may have sticky fingers, but she's still a beloved icon of the silver screen.

(also: kleptomania)

sigmund freud

mirat
(noun): The OG mind explorer, Austrian bloke who got a kick out of diving into the depths of human weirdness. Known for his wild ideas about Oedipal complexes and dream meanings, he was always down for a psychological deep dive. Just don't invite him to your party, he's a buzzkill.
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